i love to watch the reindeer  playing in the snow
WILLIAM WORTHLESS
Dec 11, 2013

i love to watch the reindeer  playing in the snow
antlers seem to glisten there eyes they seem to glow
with there heads held high having lots of fun
rubbing heads together in the winter sun
a beast with so much beauty running in the wild
i just love to watch this mother natures child

Jillyan Adams
Jillyan Adams
Dec 29, 2012      Dec 29, 2012

Not only are we going to kill you
(Subsequently leaving your wife and children destitute)

and glue your head to the wall
(It's called taxidermy, alright? It's a profession. Professional.)

but we will also perch this Santa hat
On the smallest tines
Of your impressive
Set of antlers
(The kind any other buck would
bow and scrape
to behold).

Because it's that time of year again.

Here's wishing a very
Merry Christmas
To you, your wife, and children.

And olive, the other reindeer
Roger Turner
Roger Turner
Dec 2, 2012

We all know about Rudolph
and how his nose lights up the night
And olive, the other reindeer
Who help Santa with his flight

But, there's one who is forgotten
From the Christmas songs and rhymes
And I think you should hear about him
Yes, I think it is about time

Randy was a reindeer
He liked to play the reindeer games
But he too, was like Rudolph
And the others called him names

Randy, wasn't much at flying
Didn't like going out most nights
Randy, well, he was just different
You see, he was afraid of heights

He couldn't see where he was going
Either in the day or night
You see Randy needed glasses
He had a problem with his sight

His balance was in question
Always falling to the ground
If a reindeer falls in the forest
Does that reindeer make a sound?

He had a skin condition
He needed special cream to help
The harness didn't help him
In fact, it made him yelp

He was shorter than the others
And his stride was a bit off
And when Santa came to see him
Randy had a nervous cough

He didn't like the female reindeer
He liked the males, more than he should
Randy was "light up in the antlers"
And to Santa, that's no good

Santa couldn't fly with Randy
Randy's name, it was all wrong
It screamed out Broadway not of Christmas
It didn't work in all the songs

Santa said "you're a strange reindeer"
"You can't fly, you're blind and gay"
"And if you led my team out"
"We'd not be done in just one day"

"I'm sorry, reindeer Randy"
"I have to cut you from the team"
"They play one side,you're another"
"If you know what Santa means"

So, Randy, he just wanders
Round the north pole all the while
Bumping into things and falling
With his light antlers and strange smile

He's not a famous reindeer
And I think that it's ok
That Santa has a reindeer
Who, we now all know is gay.

These are the days that Reindeer love
Emily Dickinson

1696

These are the days that Reindeer love
And pranks the Northern star—
This is the Sun’s objective,
And Finland of the Year.

Couldn't play the reindeer games
Roger Turner
Roger Turner
Dec 18, 2013      Dec 18, 2013

Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom

knew a deer named Rudy
had a ruby snooty
knew a deer named Rudy
had a ruby snooty
you see a red light in the air
you knew Rudy was flying there

Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom

Couldn't play the reindeer games
Had to hide his nose in shame
Couldn't play the reindeer games
Had to hide his nose in shame
So he chose to run away
Away from where the reindeer play

Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom


Went off, with an elf
They went off by themselves
Went off, with an elf
They went off by themselves
Had adventures in the snow
They tried to hide old Rudy's glow

Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom

Met a man wantin' gold
And a bumble,in the cold
Met a man wantin' gold
And a bumble, in the cold
Found the land of misfit toys
Waiting for good girls and boys

Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom

Found their way to Christmas Town
Santa Claus was feeling down
Found their way to Christmas Town
Santa Claus was feeling down
Santa told the elves I fear
There won't be a Christmas trip this year

Bop bopa-a-lu a whop bam boom
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
Ruby snooty, Oh Rudy
A Bop bopa-lu a whop bam boom

Then Santa saw old Rudy's nose
You know how the story goes
When Santa saw old Rudy's nose
You know how the story goes
He led Santa on his flight
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night

OF A REINDEER WITH NUDE ELF FOLK ON HER BACK
Roger Turner
Roger Turner
Jul 2, 2012

MY COMPUTER IS INFECTED WITH A VIRUS
FROM SURFING TEEN AGE PORN SITES LATE AT NITE
SOME OF WHAT I'V SEEN, IT LOOKS QUITE NORMAL
WHILE OTHER THINGS THEY JUST DON'T SEEM QUITE RIGHT
I'D JUST STARTED CHRISTMAS SHOPPING
WHEN I LEARNED THAT I'D BEEN HACKED
THERE APPEARED BEFORE ME QUITE THE PHOTO
OF A REINDEER WITH NUDE ELF FOLK ON HER BACK
AS I LOOKED MORE AT THE PHOTO
AND I LOOKED DEEP IN THE TREES
I SAW JUST A HINT OF SCARLETT
THAT LOOKED JUST LIKE MRS. SANTA ON HER KNEES
AS I LOOKED MORE AT THE PICTURE
SHE HAD A LOOK, BUT NOT OF PAIN
AND I SAW WHAT SHE WAS SUCKING
WAS NOT AN ALLANS  CANDY CANE!
AS I TRIED TO LEAVE THE WEBSITE
A NEW PHOTO CAME MY WAY
AND I STARED HARD IN AMAZEMENT
THINKING, CORR I NEVER KNEW THAT ELVES COULD BEND THAT WAY
ONE WAS DOING NUDE GYMNASTICS
WITH HER ASS HIGH IN THE AIR
SHE HAD SOMETHING IN HER "OUT" HOLE
AND I THOUGHT, "I DON'T THINK THAT THING  BELONGS IN THERE"
SO I SHUT DOWN MY COMPUTER
AND THE SCREEN FADED TO BLACK
I THOUGHT I'D LOST ALL MY FILES
AND THERE'S NO WAY IN THE WORLD TO GET THEM BACK
I'D BE OFF LINE WELL PAST CHRISTMAS
AND THERE'S NOTHING MORE TO SAY
I'D BEEN BURNED BY SURFING PORN SITES
SEEING THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T SEE ON CHRISTMAS DAY
WHEN MY HEAD DID HIT MY PILLOW
I SWORE FROM PORN SITES I'D REFRAIN
BUT I WOKE UP EARLY THE NEXT MORNING
AND FOUND A HALF SUCKED  STICKY CANDY CANE
I COULD NOT HELP BUT WONDER
WHO HAD LEFT IT HERE BESIDE
BUT I KNEW DEEP DOWN IT CAME FROM
SANTA  ON HIS ONE NIGHT YEARLY RIDE
WHEN I TURNED ON MY COMPUTER
I KNEW I'D KEEP IT TO MYSELF
NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE IT IF I TOLD THEM
OF PORN SITES FULL OF DEER AND NAKED ELVES.

III. (Reindeer).
Reece AJ Chambers
Reece AJ Chambers
Dec 24, 2012

I. (Wrap).

It does not matter
how they have wrapped the presents
but what lies beneath.

--------------------------------------------------

II. (Gifts).

Be thankful my friends
for what you have this Christmas
even if it's socks.

--------------------------------------------------

III. (Reindeer).

In all honesty,
should Santa and his reindeer
fly in this weather?

Written: December 2012.
Explanation: Three haikus relating to Christmas time, the first to wrapping up presents, the second to the presents themselves and the third to Santa. Not available on my WordPress blog, though one was uploaded as a Facebook status update. Have a good Christmas wherever you are.
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Larry B
Apr 1, 2010

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
I'm sure you remember that song
Well that was my grandma who was hit
And again, they got part of it wrong

See, she really was run over by reindeer
But it was nothing like they said
Those deer were driving a milk truck
That left my poor grandma nearly dead

My poor grandma just got done milking
And was putting the cows back in the field
When eight drunk reindeer in a milk truck
Crashed thru the fence and didn't yield

They just kept on going thru the barn yard
Straight thru the creek and down the hill
Grandma looked like a bug on a windshield
With pieces of her wig on that milk truck's grill

Now poor grandma never seen it coming
Cause she was looking the other way
We even found that poor womans glasses
Stuck on a scarecrow near the hay

Well, now my grandma had not been drinking
Like that song had claimed she was
But somehow they try to make it funny
Seems like those city folk always does

Well, that's about as much as I can tell you
Because the lawsuit is still pending
Those reindeer got some north pole lawyer
And we heard he's pretty good at defending

So beware of reindeer driving milktrucks
For they mean to cause your grandma harm
And don't forget try to remind your grandmas
To look both ways when she leaves the barn

Santa and his reindeer,
Simon Clark
Simon Clark
Aug 28, 2012

Stuffed full of toys and ribbons,
Tinsel and baubles,
Santa and his reindeer,
Deliver to all,
Presents for children,
For their mums and their dads,
For Aunts and Uncles,
Nans and Granddads,
There’s perfume and clothing,
Chocolate and sweets,
Santa delivers the nicest of treats.

written in 2009
I saw a stag, reindeer, lag, and flag in the distant snowy mou

I blend cry not,
An antic land, lest not
Trot
Blot
On a sparkling terrain
Epitome Heaven,
Lo!
That I hearken an Archangel yet?
Gabriella tears, rears, near:
I saw a stag, reindeer, lag, and flag in the distant snowy mountains…

 
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