Bilingual reindeer
David Alexander Jackson

Katie Price
Had a collection
Of last season's
Which she indexed
With the help
Of a sincere
Bilingual reindeer
Dressed in spandex
Who for some reason
Was single.

Is so important to me
Said Katie.

So they were labelled
And kept in taxis
At disused angle grinder factories
Near the Tower of Babel
So posterity
Would be able
To analyse
The finer points
Of her physiognomy.

Quite an unusual praxis
And something of an anomaly
For someone like me
Wouldn't you agree?

Cross my heart
And hope to die
I agree.

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer

And it was me.         Who ran her over rover/\/\/\/\/\//\/\>>><><><><

i love to watch the reindeer  playing in the snow
Dec 11, 2013

i love to watch the reindeer  playing in the snow
antlers seem to glisten there eyes they seem to glow
with there heads held high having lots of fun
rubbing heads together in the winter sun
a beast with so much beauty running in the wild
i just love to watch this mother natures child

Jillyan Adams
Jillyan Adams
Dec 29, 2012      Dec 29, 2012

Not only are we going to kill you
(Subsequently leaving your wife and children destitute)

and glue your head to the wall
(It's called taxidermy, alright? It's a profession. Professional.)

but we will also perch this Santa hat
On the smallest tines
Of your impressive
Set of antlers
(The kind any other buck would
bow and scrape
to behold).

Because it's that time of year again.

Here's wishing a very
Merry Christmas
To you, your wife, and children.

And olive, the other reindeer
Roger Turner
Roger Turner
Dec 2, 2012

We all know about Rudolph
and how his nose lights up the night
And olive, the other reindeer
Who help Santa with his flight

But, there's one who is forgotten
From the Christmas songs and rhymes
And I think you should hear about him
Yes, I think it is about time

Randy was a reindeer
He liked to play the reindeer games
But he too, was like Rudolph
And the others called him names

Randy, wasn't much at flying
Didn't like going out most nights
Randy, well, he was just different
You see, he was afraid of heights

He couldn't see where he was going
Either in the day or night
You see Randy needed glasses
He had a problem with his sight

His balance was in question
Always falling to the ground
If a reindeer falls in the forest
Does that reindeer make a sound?

He had a skin condition
He needed special cream to help
The harness didn't help him
In fact, it made him yelp

He was shorter than the others
And his stride was a bit off
And when Santa came to see him
Randy had a nervous cough

He didn't like the female reindeer
He liked the males, more than he should
Randy was "light up in the antlers"
And to Santa, that's no good

Santa couldn't fly with Randy
Randy's name, it was all wrong
It screamed out Broadway not of Christmas
It didn't work in all the songs

Santa said "you're a strange reindeer"
"You can't fly, you're blind and gay"
"And if you led my team out"
"We'd not be done in just one day"

"I'm sorry, reindeer Randy"
"I have to cut you from the team"
"They play one side,you're another"
"If you know what Santa means"

So, Randy, he just wanders
Round the north pole all the while
Bumping into things and falling
With his light antlers and strange smile

He's not a famous reindeer
And I think that it's ok
That Santa has a reindeer
Who, we now all know is gay.

city to exchange his reindeer for buffalo.
Lidi Minuet
Lidi Minuet
Dec 17, 2014

Santa Claus went to New york
city to exchange his reindeer for buffalo.
Now his reindeer were so angry
that they soon started an army against him.
Santa Claus had the nerve to leave
all of them behind the fence with the buffalo.
He wasn't going to retire them all right away.
He left without saying this at all.
Dasher performed karate on the
buffalo's drum of a stomach fast as can be.
Dancer did the jitter bug one of
the buffalo's floor of a back to the breeze.
Prancer always copied dancer so
down came the buffalo on to the ground.
Vixen grunted a carol in one of
the buffalo's ears til eyes wild from sound.
Comet aimed for one buffalo's
head but only ran through his his legs.
Cupid bit in like a vampire on
one of the buffalo's neck and just smiled.
Donner was having dinner and
couldn't be fighting for his gift of the job.
Blitzen actually stabled a buffalo
in heart and committed murder at night.
The reindeer halted in horror
even Donner downing some of his carrots.
The reindeer made peace after
all this was not the season of the slaughter.
Santa Claus walked over to find
all of this and calmly buried the buffalo.
He said to them now he wasn't
going to change his mind he is just going
to use them every other holiday.
All the reindeer started to sigh away.
They all thanked God for the
Buffalo's miraculous patience.
From that day on Reindeer and Buffalo
work together every holiday.
Santa Claus changed his mind yet again
with a twinkle in his eyes.
Forgiveness was in the air.

These are the days that Reindeer love
Emily Dickinson


These are the days that Reindeer love
And pranks the Northern star—
This is the Sun’s objective,
And Finland of the Year.

**The most famous reindeer of all?**
Creep that Loves You

"You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and cupid and Donner and Blitzen,
But do you recall?
The most famous reindeer of all?

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Has a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows.
All of the other reindeers
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say,
Rudolph with your nose so bright,
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?

Then all the reindeers loved him,
And they all shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-nose Reindeer
You'll go down in history!

Why is it that just because he
was asked for help by a celebrity (Santa)
and became associated with this celebrity,
all the other reindeer all of a sudden love him?

Doesn't that mean that the reindeers only love him
because he is now a celebrity
and not him as a reindeer?

humph :(
idk kinda noticed it...
lyrics r from metro lyrics...
Reindeer games were scheduled
Roger Turner
Roger Turner
Nov 11, 2012      Nov 11, 2012

Christmas Eve was coming
There was plenty to be done
There were protocols to follow
There were programs to be run

Presents needed wrapping
Elves had duties of their own
They've been doing it for centuries
They could call Christmas in by phone

Reindeer games were scheduled
Christmas Carols to be sung
There were toys to be assembled
There were bells that must be wrung

Christmas problem
For we all know there's just one
It gets passed around each Christmas
And that is half the fun

But, back now to the reindeer games
Donner wasn't there
But, neither were three others
It gave Santa Claus a scare

He called the elven vet in
Said "find out what it wrong"
"If I don't have all my reindeer"
"It'll ruin Rudolph's song"

The vet came back directly
Hoof and mouth was what he said
The reindeer must  miss Christmas
They were all confined to bed

Santa couldn't take it
Reindeer home...what would he do?
He thought real hard about an answer
Where would he find something that flew

The vet said, "I've an answer"
"But, no questions...just your trust"
"I'll get your gifts delivered Santa"
"I just need your magic dust"

Santa said "do your best Doctor"
"We can't have Christmas end like this"
"Are you sure you have an answer?"
"We can't give Christmas time a miss"

The vet and elves went searching
They formed a team like none before
They went around to the animals
And then they knocked on Santa's door

Santa looked at what they'd brought him
His reindeer gone, but here they stood
A team had been assembled
It made Santa sink into his hood

Harnessed up before him
The vet had two dogs and a bear
A beaver, goat, and donkey
And a bald, blind cat...stood there

He smiled and said "Dear Santa"
"They may not look like that much now"
"But, they'll get you where you need to be"
"And they'll be led by a brown cow"

If you hear some noises
From your roof, like bleats and barks
Some, meowing or some mooing
And other strange sounds in the dark

Remember, it's just Santa
With his new team for the season
Rex, Rolf, Billy, Ben, Bessie, Joe, and Mike
and a bald, blind cat who's freezin'

Merry Christmas to all and to all....don't look up!!

#winter   #christmas   #eve   #team   #presents   #reindeer   #wrapping   #elves   #santa   #claus  
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