I can't see the ashes from the fire nor the fire from the smoke;
Nor can I see myself burning.
I nearly flew off the handle when my cigarello broke;
And yet my world kept on turning.
I'm uncomplicated with how I feel but a mess with what I want;
It hasn't even slowed my sighing.
I'll have to answer for all my poems to my insidious debutante;
Before the clock has done its dying.
I heard a woman can be pretty but a dozen are a choir;
So, what good chance on Earth have I?
I heard the best course on the menu is to resign loving desire;
So, if you ask, I will deny.
A monster lounges in my head.
A corpse beneath my skeleton.
A stench beneath my flesh.
Rotten and disturbed. Poltergeist.
The clouds have gathered and the
stars are blackness. The nothingness of
space empties this void. Senseless.
A bitter cold that burns up the time.
I have crossed the line, screwed up my mind.
Despairing in the trap once again I am faithless.
I never struggled because I never even tried.
It's ok. I'll write a poem. I'll confess it.
My blacks crackle and drag.
Scratching, scaring, scarring, stop.
The world is not mine anymore.
It belongs to those who care.
Of me? I'll accept this because
I really do love my little sister
no matter what she'd do.
Former goals long before gone,
hidden in secret behind friends views,
a life in vain.
Doubtless efforts fruitless taken,
countless beatings endured,
still seeking path to milk and honey,
wondering if it hasn´t already resigned.
reduced to sheer nothingness,
not able to recognize it´s worth.
Neither happiness nor sadness,
behind it´s emotionless face,
killing time with dusty distractions
and waiting for something to happen,
that relightens a fire
well known in former days.
As due by many titles I resign
My self to Thee, O God; first I was made
By Thee, and for Thee, and when I was decayed
Thy blood bought that, the which before was Thine;
I am Thy son, made with Thy Self to shine,
Thy servant, whose pains Thou hast still repaid,
Thy sheep, thine image, and, till I betrayed
My self, a temple of Thy Spirit divine;
Why doth the devil then usurp on me?
Why doth he steal, nay ravish that’s thy right?
Except thou rise and for thine own work fight,
Oh I shall soon despair, when I do see
That thou lov’st mankind well, yet wilt not choose me,
And Satan hates me, yet is loth to lose me.
You are scared of my family,
But you know that you reacted early.
I don't want you to repent it later,
So I will just keep loving you inside.
And your beautiful youthful heart,
It might come back to me in the end.
Fingers crossed all the best for the exam.
My love for Kripi is very strong and I won't stop being positive whatever ill-fate may befall and even if her feelings fail her.
If it's my final destination to remain misunderstood and away from Kripi, I accept that open-heartedly.
I am wrong to not let her go if she has gotten so sick of the care, romance & guidance that constitute my love.
I can't hope for you to come back but I will only wish you all the best now that you have finally started studying from books.
Lastly, I am sorry if I ever hurt your self-respect.
My HP Poem #828