If I had to say anything I would have to say wow. I can't believe that you are so perfect. I almost hate leaving. If having countless people hurt me in the past to lead up to being with you then I wouldn't go back and change a single moment. I'm not good with being emotional and talking about my feelings around you so that's why I'm writing them. You are amazing, sweet, caring, perfect every word I can think of you are. How could I want anything more then just laying around and being a total goofball with you. Why would I want anything esle then being as happy as I can be. Why would I want anything esle then sleeping with you and actually sleeping all night and not waking up constantly cause I feel nervous or panicky. I don't think I could have it any better. You asked me what do I like about you and I couldn't give you good answers but I don't like your voice and I don't like your hair and I don't like your singing randomly. I love them. I love that you feel comfortable with me I love holding your hand when we are at target or the mall. I love being around you to not even caring if I come home or not. I always thought that I never was good enough for someone that everyone always would Leave me and never look back but I feel different with you that I feel safe. Safe. I do love you and those three words only have came out once before and I got totally riped apart because of it. I'm trying to put everything out on the table and rip away from any of the nagtive feelings I have towards love and open up let it all go and start new.
As the years go by, give me but peace,
Freedom from ten thousand matters.
I ask myself and always answer:
What can be better than coming home?
A wind from the pine-trees blows my sash,
And my lute is bright with the mountain moon.
You ask me about good and evil fortune?....
Hark, on the lake there's a fisherman singing!
the height of creation by far
the only one thing that required to be constructed
as to birth all the items, actions and facts
that build actuality
which is a mystery to us, but not to itself
so alive, such an incredible life cycle
the ten million degree womb
these furnaces hang
in defeated neon blackness
they boil in wonder
I'm drowning in a
Sea of pressure to be this
Human being whilst people
Expect me to be a
Twenty-four seven when really I'm
Seven tenths suicidal.
Popping pills like they're
Ignore the facts and prevent them
From getting to me,
Emotionally, in an
Attempt to let myself
To be happy.
Turning into a light drizzle
Clouds tapping their tambourines
How nature puts on
Her magnificent show
Splashing her true colors
All that she knows
Orange, red, green and gold
A dash of royal purple and some indigo
Well, she knows
How to swing
Her bright lamp
The prefect seasons
I'm sure and still are
Only in utter darkness is one able to fathom light
Only in utmost despair can one comprehend happiness
So alas I live in a dark dreary room
With the shades drawn, creating a dismal air
Encompassing all I have both loved and despised
Creating the prefect backdrop to illuminate light