Don't freshen your breath.

Make your breath fresh!

27th May 2014

Inspired by bad breath
This is my writing and not a poem.  It started as a joke on Facebook which caused a reaction by many. I felt compelled to add this memorable piece to my collection which is clearly not loved however viewed by many.  I guess it must be the title.  As much as 11.3k views on 17th Nov 2014 and I don't think it has peaked!  By the way, I am a gifted poet but this is not a poem.  This is just me being me.  Read further down for my epic poems. "Wolf of Wall Street", "Charlie Sheen", "Black, Brown, Yellow & White", "The Dude", "Jack", "Cubism", "Cigarette". Actually most of my poems are epic!  Trust me when I say that there is no poet quite like me.  I really am the chosen one.

420 views & 0 likes as at 6th July 2014 at 09:48.  Does anyone get what I'm saying? :-)

1k views on 2nd Sept 2014 at 22:37 with only 1 like :-(  What's wrong with all of you.

9.1k views on 5th Nov 2014. Holy Moly :-)

9.2k views on 6th Nov 2014.  I think it's about time I put the above into context.  What I'm trying to say is brush your teeth instead of using mints, chewing gum and mint spray to freshen your breath.
modern society thinks of hygiene.
Lee Shetzline
Lee Shetzline
Feb 11, 2013      Feb 12, 2013

I think of you
the same way
modern society thinks of hygiene.
You are severely undervalued by most
and eternally needed.

A Mareship
A Mareship
Sep 19, 2013      Sep 20, 2013

I am ragged and
Dismembered
In velveteen splendour.
Assembled by a drunk,
Who couldn't remember
What loveliness
Looked like.

I'm too tall for my height.

You are pulpy and bright
Like today's magazines.
Your eyes are spotless like
Ironed jeans,
And they fold and crease
in smiles at me.

You find me funny.

I am sterile and naked
And aching with
Tension.
I'll bend into positions to
Get your attention.
I am fixed in the curb,
and you gather the nerve
to cope with my most
unnerving dimensions.

(I love you. I forget to mention.)

You've never indulged in
petty sex.
You wrap my arms around
Your neck,
like I'm a scarf.

I make you laugh.

You've never been
out on the scene.
You've never found yourself
between two strangers
in a darkened room.
Bedroom theatre's not
for you.
Nor costume.

You've never smoked.
You've never drank so much
You've choked
on hot-bodied vomit and
collapsed in the road.
You had four pints of
beer
and I watched you explode.

From your skin I lick atoms of the sky and shampoo.
You are dripping with hygeine
You are clear, you are blue.

In mirrors you stand and watch me watching you.

Dookie
Dookie
Mar 6

my pits smell just fine
i don't need deodorant
so go fuck yourself

Essentian
Essentian
Nov 11

The tusk of musk
Suffocating in a pit
I long for under arm
Protection, this is
the dregs
Oh rain down
Holy god
of anything
at this point!

Come on maaaaaaannn....
Felicia C
Felicia C
Jul 11

It was cold and I was tired
so I fell asleep
with the taste of Sunday still in my mouth

February 2014
This is a poem about brushing your teeth before bed.
#teeth   #silly   #hygiene  

Let us not
feel repulsed
by the toilets
For without them
we will remain unclean
and will be repulsed
by the world
which is by itself
quite repulsive.
So let us not
feel repulsed
by the toilets
For without them
we will be defecating
in the open fields

Written upon the request of a friend who wanted me to write a poem on the subject of "Toilets".  I hope he is happy now....

The same friend has also challenged me to write a poem using the "F" word in each line of a poem and I wonder if I should really take up his challenge.....

Don't lick the mixing spoon.
Don't lick the serving spoon.
For crying out loud!
Saliva is not an ingredient I want in my meal.

28th May 2014

Inspired by people who don't have food manners.
#food   #hygiene   #manners   #cooking   #hosting  
Katie Jacobs
Katie Jacobs
Nov 24, 2012

I'm not afraid of spiders,
Unless they invade my head space.
I'm not afraid of heights,
I'd rather jump off the highest hill to feel those
Three moments of infinity.

I, however am afraid of the dentist.
I don't have a clear explanation,
But I was traumatized.
Mother said she's calling them Monday.

You see, I haven't been to the dentist in
Four years.
Yes, a lot, I know. It's not healthy.
                                                                           I know.
I don't care.
I do not want the dentist.
Don't make me go.

rbody I'm Gene and I'm an alcoholic.... HYGIENE.... clapclapclap.
Kenneth Irving MacPherson

Hello everbody I'm Gene and I'm an alcoholic.... HYGIENE.... clapclapclap.

Every poet in my life it seems has had the propensity towards shining down on me while 'in their cups'.
 
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