If it ain't broke,
break it,
then fix it,
s   l   o   w   l   y,
then present a padded bill.

Oh yeah, I forgot electricians.

If it ain't broke,
break it,
then fix it,
s   l   o   w   l   y,
then present a padded bill.

Oh yeah, I forgot electricians.
Nanette Villanueva
Nanette Villanueva
Aug 13, 2014

Roof of the sky leaks
A plumber looks for a tissue
In the duskiest summer

#haiku   #summer   #sky   #tissue   #roof   #plumber  
May 19, 2013

My father was a plumber and more
He is gone now with much forlorn
I miss his advice and lore
A leak sparked memory
Of great days of yore
Advice I seek
To fix my

I fixed it while thinking about him. He taught me more than he knows. I miss are time spent together, even arms deep in toilets. Love you Dad!
Lily Mae
Lily Mae
Oct 8, 2012

With your snake...my pipes have never been so clean

Some of the shits sink
And some of the shit floats
But when one plunges sinkers
They squish, smear, and combine
And the plunger comes out
Pretty gross

i mean,
who does comedy with
and inviting crowds
to laugh when a
sign prompts them
to "laugh"?

Larry B
Dec 5, 2010

I'm startin' to run out of nursery rhymes
So, I made up one of my own
It's about a nearsighted plumber
That was accidently glued to his throne

Once upon a time, long, long ago
There was a plumber, who I'll call Dale
Poor old Dale had a hard time plumbing
Cause he really couldn't see very well

He'd gotten a call, "The toilet won't flush!
Please, can you come right away?"
Well, old Dale got in such a hurry
He forgot to take his glasses that day

Well, by the time old Dale had got there
The house was in quite a mess
He realized he'd forgotten his glasses
But he'd give that toilet his best

He'd not seen this since plumbing school
But then, he only saw it on a test
And by the time, he got his tools together
The water was starting to crest

He had spotted the problem right away
But remember now, he can only half see
The water was squirtin' six feet high
And poor Dale was only five foot three

He laid his glue on the toilet seat
While trying his best not to drown
He couldn't see where he put it at
And, of course, that's where he sat down

He didn't even know 'till it was too late
He'd bent over to loosen a nut
And that's when he first noticed that thing
The toilet was glued to his butt

So, if you ever need a real good plumber
He's the man for the job, without fail
And I hope you enjoyed this story
About the nearsighted plumber named Dale

I forgot tell you, there's one more thing
About the nearsighted plumber named Dale
That man still has that toilet seat
For the thing's still glued to his tail

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