in the middle of july
i dream of red poppies
it comes out from my baby hole
it's not forming a line
like one day in april 2015
23:13 i drew a bridge
swamped with lil red poppies
not long enough to reach
of my left hand
if I could have them all
I am sweating on this silent throne,
Cold is my sweating double lump, my butt-ox.
Dripping sopping is my hole, wet for you, my boo.
PLUMP! SHPLOOP! SQUISH!
That is my plural drip, my dipping turd flow, Niagara.
Ookatini flip, my pencil fell in.
Fish it out with my hand.
Ooh, Telpavin. Time out time, sitting on the toiley.
There is no doiley to conceal this mess. Ten sixteen.
I'm not even wiping yet.
My dad comes in from working the steel mill. He needs the can.
I wiped for hours.
Then I pooped again.
Like an elephant.
I need a colostomy bag.
Diarrhea Boom part 5
So my elderly mother
who I am taking care of
was in bed
for a month or so
and she yelled to me
that she had to go
to the bathroom
but she couldn't stand up
so she told me to change
her protective underwear
and when I did
I saw that she
was covered with black diarrhea
so I cleaned it off
as best I could
and she tried to stand up
but collapsed on the floor
so I called 911
and the men came
I was burning a cigarette down
when the stomach cramps struck.
So I ran to the bathroom and
spouted methane gas from my ass,
then shat out four beers
and nine shots of brandy.
The tip of my smoke glowed
bright orange and ignited
my feces, blowing everything
to kingdom come.
I found peace there,
mixed in with blood and shit.
as i approach 50 I think
how did this happen...me getting old I mean.
I know the alternative is not that appealing...
but perhaps a granting of my own personal groundhog day is a worthy wish....it doesn't matter which.
I could craft most any day of my life into something spectacular!
Is that wisdom?
After almost half a century, I've surmised to be suspended in time the best I could ask for? well maybe, perhaps then I could amend all my imperfections... reform all the mistakes I've made and re-emerge a better man...
just now it occurs to me...this could be my groundhog moment...the epiphany that the next 50 years brings me living a life well thought... more compassionate, more open, more giving, more alive!
....more likely, just more use of adult diapers...
Remind me with a stern voice
How liberal and open you are
Implying I should be thankful
You put up with me at all
About how you worry
But there's no concern for me
Only the reminder of what you conviently
Forget to see
I'll be showered with compliments
As long as the aesthetics fit
What you planned for me
You'll hide your distaste behind
Question your past life decisions
With peppering of nervous laughter
I'm a lot to deal with for you
And for him
How could I be so insensitive!?
I can't tell you anything
I learned that long ago
But still I get inspired to try
To break the fear that if I live
My life where you can see
I'll be in big trouble
You assume your world is safe
Once I've back pedalled some more
But act so damn surprised
That when I moved out, I moved up
And I'm more than convinced the only thing
That needs strapping down is your mouth
Because you're talking shit
I'm sick of hearing this
That same old story about how you dreamed
Of how your daughter would look
So unlike you and your hang-ups
Is this all you birthed me for?
You don't honestly believe I'll get cancer
Or break my ribs
You're just scared that what you guessed
About your brood was true all along
So unorthodox are we not?
Half these chaotic genes are yours
So man up for once! (Besides, I do...)