In protective custody over you.
jeffrey conyers
jeffrey conyers
Jan 11, 2013

Segregated.
Locked down and secure.
In protective custody over you.
And, they claim my love is the evidence to convict.
And I can't say it don't make sense.
Cause it's true.

I'll serve my time quietly.
While being in the custody of you.

You can guard me twenty four seven.
You're my angel of love sent from heaven.

John F McCullagh
John F McCullagh
Dec 26, 2011

In Brooklyn, in these hectic times,
if Mom-hood gets you down
you need a little pick me up
so you won't fret and frown.

When we boomers were just babies
Mom might have a glass of wine.
Just enough to take the edge off
and leave her feeling fine.

But Generation X and Y
are more like Cheech and Chong
when baby gets your dander up
It's time to light a bong.

A little toke of Mary Jane
gives Moms a pause to sigh.
"Good night Moon" is a gripping read
when Mom is flying high.

Put the little Prince to bed
before Mom has a fit.
Motherhood is stressful
she just needs to take a "hit"

When the" little terrors" get you down
Just think - "this too will pass"
sneak off and roll yourself a joint
We know you have a stash.

Inspired by a New York Post article detailing recreational marijuana use among Young Mother's in Brooklyn and Manhattan. Lighting up has replaced a glass of wine as the go to choice of Moms in need of stress relief.
livingnonsequitur
livingnonsequitur
Mar 24, 2013

I surrendered the fight for your heart with your promise that our friendship would endure
Then I found myself unwillingly sacrificing my own happiness to witness you in yours
Each time I saw the two of you exchange your love, a knife twisted in my heart
I’ve tried to carry on through the rising static of emotional dissonance
Knowing it was a mistake to think that I could still be alone in your presence
He is clearly always with you; a welcomed tenant in your heart
I can’t recall when it first happened, or when it first caught my attention
I only know that its seems that our time now feels insignificant to you
You unknowingly mock me with his future presence
I have become your transitory keeper until his return to you
It’s not like you need a watcher, you’re more grown up now than you’ve ever been
Yet I find I’m being used in the entangling name of friendship
I want to be with you for what little time is left
But this is an unhealthy role I find I can no longer let myself play
I am a different person than you have recently thought me to be
As these last few days have ticked away,
I’ve come to realize that you are a different person too

Poetry is a striptease
taking off layer after layer or armor
to expose our most vulnerable hearts.

#love   #poetry   #poet   #dance   #nature   #preservation   #salvation   #screen   #of   #strength   #weak   #the   #rhyming   #rhyme   #soul   #benevolence   #humanity   #poems   #wordsmith   #pity   #line   #on   #a   #skin   #feeling   #out   #song   #person   #naked   #protection   #cover   #letters   #affection   #verse   #safety   #ready   #sympathy   #understanding   #writer   #response   #compassion   #fix   #author   #reassurance   #artist   #tender   #defense   #sitting   #scratch   #critic   #stability   #mail   #stanza   #guard   #armor   #limb   #scribe   #spot   #shelter   #sentiment   #duck   #newspaper   #journalist   #exposed   #reporter   #trending   #concern   #zest   #charge   #refuge   #shield   #plate   #conservation   #sensitive   #barrier   #tenderness   #character   #assurance   #lew   #sucker   #sensitivity   #rime   #insurance   #umbrella   #ward   #beryldov   #odist   #disposition   #temperament   #metrical   #doggerel   #paean   #poesy   #rune   #versification   #balladry   #inclination   #relish   #lyricist   #lyrist   #bard   #biographer   #columnist   #contributor   #correspondent   #dramatist   #editor   #essayist   #freelancer   #ghostwriter   #novelist   #screenwriter   #scribbler   #scripter   #stenographer   #stringer   #rhapsodist   #versifier   #maker   #burlesque   #susceptible   #security   #certainty   #unsafe   #poetaster   #tutelage   #accessible   #safeguard   #armament   #liable   #surety   #sheath   #protecting   #dilettante   #librettist   #parodist   #rhymer   #balladist   #metrist   #rimer   #sonnetist   #camouflage   #safekeeping   #-composition   #lap-dance   #pole-dance   #strip-show   #striptease   #erotic-dance   #strip   #bulletproof-vest   #aegis   #buffer   #bulwark   #custody   #guarding   #invulnerability   #self-defense   #wardship   #gusto   #palate   #defenseless   #assailable   #thin-skinned   #unguarded   #unprotected   #wide-open  

We cannot forfeit
what was not truly ours
to begin with.

You can only lose yourself
in the heartbreak of love lost
and find yourself again
in the miracle of love regained.

From ᏰƐƦሃℓԃᏫሁ ԼƐϖ's Primer of Love
(which has over 133,000 PAGEVIEWS):
ᏰƐƦሃℓԃᏫሁ ԼƐϖ'ś Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part I, Lessons 1-19)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-i-lessons-1-19/

ᏰƐƦሃℓԃᏫሁ ԼƐϖ'ś Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part II, Lessons 20-33)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-ii-lessons-20-33/

ᏰƐƦሃℓԃᏫሁ ԼƐϖ'ś Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part III, Lessons 34-41)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-iii-lessons-34-41/

ᏰƐƦሃℓԃᏫሁ ԼƐϖ'ś Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part IV, Lessons 42-50)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-iv-lessons-42-50-1/

ᏰƐƦሃℓԃᏫሁ ԼƐϖ'ś Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part V, Lessons 51-59)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-v-lessons-51-59/

ᏰƐƦሃℓԃᏫሁ ԼƐϖ'ś Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VI, Lessons 60-69)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-vi-lessons-60-69-1/

ᏰƐƦሃℓԃᏫሁ ԼƐϖ'ś Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VII, Lessons 70-79)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-vii-lessons-70-79-1/

ᏰƐƦሃℓԃᏫሁ ԼƐϖ'ś Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VIII, Lessons 80-89)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-viii-lessons-80-89/

ᏰƐƦሃℓԃᏫሁ ԼƐϖ'ś Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part IX, Lesson 90)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/666213/l-s-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-ix-lesson-90/
.
#heartbreak   #kiss   #regret   #pain   #dead   #not   #up   #lost   #be   #past   #window   #away   #sorrow   #wrong   #goodbye   #the   #lacking   #fallen   #a   #no   #hold   #mia   #invisible   #down   #to   #left   #out   #more   #suffering   #gone   #grief   #here   #torment   #sea   #missing   #despair   #over   #back   #heartache   #save   #done   #split   #sign   #make   #wandering   #remorse   #get   #care   #at   #passed   #hidden   #from   #distress   #take   #absent   #without   #missed   #win   #found   #off   #again   #recover   #return   #ended   #torture   #between   #well   #reach   #bitterness   #spent   #agony   #achieve   #obscured   #departed   #gain   #under   #affliction   #mark   #disoriented   #anguish   #trending   #vanished   #broken-heart   #quit   #burned   #moved   #finished   #cracks   #woe   #dried   #desolation   #misplaced   #title   #retention   #lew   #drain   #disappeared   #awry   #traveling   #compass   #beryldov   #nowhere   #cast   #disintegrated   #displaced   #dissipated   #dissolved   #irrevocable   #course   #consumed   #forfeit   #amiss   #astray   #adrift   #afield   #roaming   #straying   #wayward   #dominion   #awol   #removed   #mislaid   #repossess   #reclaim   #occupation   #recapture   #deceased   #defunct   #extinct   #404   #attain   #retired   #clasp   #elapsed   #rue   #recruit   #custody   #redeem   #forfeited   #minus   #strayed   #irrecoverable   #irretrievable   #off-course   #unredeemed   #withdrawn   #transferred   #shifted   #flown   #decamped   #nonextant   #run-off   #recoup   #retake   #retrieve   #reacquire   #reattain   #occupancy   #proprietary   #proprietorship   #tenancy   #tenure   #possessorship   #clutches   #bale   #heartsickness   #heavy-heart  
Custody of mind
GitacharYa VedaLa

Custody of mind
Not a mudguard of thoughts
Mark the depression

Questions are never indiscreet, answers sometimes are.
~ Oscar Wilde

Lesson 20) We measure the progress of a relationship not the answers given but by the questions we ask.

The question, "How do you want to be loved?" must be posed every day for the love to continue to grow and not become a heartless, mindless ritual of rote. My personal question is that I ask my mate every morning when she opens her eyes and every night when I kiss her good night, "Did I tell you how much I love you today?" When she answers, "Not yet," I then say, "Beyond words." Frame the question in words that are comfortable to you. Open and shut your eyes with it.

ღ ღ ღ

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.
~ Psalm 143:8

Lesson 21) We should love each other the way we should love God -- with a feeling of eternal gratitude.

Take nothing for granted - especially each other. Like God, sustain your love every second in a new act of creation. But the gratitude for yesterday's love should be eternal - a thread connecting the past with the forever present.  

ღ ღ ღ

The biogenetic law or embryological parallelism, can be expressed as 'ontogeny recapitulates  phylogeny' states that in developing from embryo to adult, animals go through stages resembling or representing successive stages in the evolution of their remote ancestors."
~ Ernst Haeckel

Lesson 22) Love recapitulates the stages of a living organism.

Love goes from dependent infancy, to adventurous childhood, to teenage turmoil, to mature adulthood -- which entails the entire repertoire of human emotion. Love gone awry leads to senility and death. Keep it on track and you have eternity.

ღ ღ ღ

Be strong, believe in freedom and in God, love yourself, understand your sexuality, have a sense of humor, masturbate, don't judge people by their religion, color or sexual habits, love life and your family.
~ Madonna

Lesson 23) Love yourself with all your flaws then you can learn to love another deeply.

You cannot love another unless you love yourself first. But, while you're prepping yourself for the greatest adventure, don't fall too in love with yourself. Narcissism can often lead to a solipsistic
self-absorption which only admits others as entertainment, not as agents of transformation.

ღ ღ ღ

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
~ Lao Tzu

Lesson 24) Love is transformative leading to your true nature, but you must embrace vulnerability to be transformed.

To be transformed you must shed those pachydermal layers of character armor and become naked and vulnerable. Easier said than done. We've all been hurt at one point and we have an adaptive survival mechanism not to let ourselves becomes vulnerable enough to be hurt again. You must resist your own survival mechanisms to be loved.

ღ ღ ღ

I am coming to terms with the fact that loving someone requires a leap of faith, and that a soft landing is never guaranteed.
~ Sarah Dessen

Lesson 25) Loving another is the greatest leap of faith.

It is even greater than faith in a Benevolent God, despite ubiquitous evil and the death of loved ones. We cannot hedge with fully committed love. There is no back up, no safety net for true love. If you fall, your heart is broken. But if you don't fall, you've jumped that infinite gorge between God and Adam's finger and have tasted Divinity.
leap as a child leaps
reckless and unreckoned
for the calculated jump
is a fall in its hesitation
dream as a child dreams
long lashed in REM
hands tossed above their heads
for the open eyed sleepers
are too vigilant
of tricksters and schemers
their pillows soaked
with nightmares
and day fears
                                 - BDL

ღ ღ ღ

True love isn't Romeo and Juliet who died together. It's Grandma and Grandpa who grew old together.
~ Anonymous

Lesson 26) Love does not necessarily go from hard and wet to limp and sandpapery.

Sex never ends. To grow old with each other is accept the physiological changes of our aging partners and keep our prescriptions to Viagra and vaginal lubricants current. Hard and wet are better even if the walkers with green balls get in the way. Pump up the volume on the porn and play hide the shriveled sausage in the badly wrapped taco.

ღ ღ ღ

Don't let yourself die without knowing the wonder of fucking with love.
~ Gabriel García Márquez

Lesson 27) Sex is not love, love is sex --- ah fuck it!

Is it fucking or loving?
Make no mistake
In loving you give,
in fucking you take.
But taking is just loving
With each other's permission
So give your loving consent
To fuck in every position.
                                    -BDL

ღ ღ ღ

In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
- Khalil Gibran

Lesson 28) Silliness and laughter are the preservatives that keep a relationship from going stale.

Laughter is the tool that diffuse anger, resentment, jealousy, boredom, self-absorption, pettiness, sadness and stuff like that. When one partner loses their sense of humor, the relationship is guaranteed to be over within a year. Silliness is laughter applied as a salve. Sarcasm is laughter applied with a chisel.

ღ ღ ღ

Hallow the body as a temple to comeliness and sanctify the heart as a sacrifice to love; love recompenses the adorers.
~ Khalil Gibran

Lesson 29) Sanctify one another.

The Hebrew word for marriage is Kiddushin, which means to sanctify. Intimacy brings us to a higher level of holiness, bringing us closer to God. In Judaism, an intimacy that leads to the conception of new life actually brings down the shechina -- God's manifestation on earth. God is the third partner of a marriage, but only descends to earth when we do the nasty and become Creators ourselves.

ღ ღ ღ

I didn't fall in love of course
it's never up to you
but she was walking back and forth
and i was passing through
~ Leonard Cohen, Book of Longing

Lesson 30) First fall in love, then grow in love, then harvest in love.

The falling is the chemistry, the growing is the botany and the harvesting is the phenomenology of love. A couple in love is always planting seeds and nurturing them with tears and laughter. When their old they have this prickly bush in the garage they have no fucking idea what to do with. Really, they harvest a life well spent.

ღ ღ ღ

Cherish every moment with those you love at every stage of your journey.
~ Jack Layton

Lesson 31) Cherish everything -- even if you've paid retail.

If every nuance of experience and every soul and thing on earth you connect with is a gift from God, how much more so is your partner in crime, a personal gift from your Creator. Say, 'thank you God' and 'thank you my love' at every opportunity. Use you spare time to create the opportunities to give thanks.

ღ ღ ღ

What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.”
~ Chuck Palahniuk

Lesson 32) I wanna', you' wanna', they wanna'. Fugedabot' wanna' -- you gotta needa'.

You've got to get the basic Brooklyn grammar of love down pat before you compose sentences or issue a writ of habeas corpus. Wanna' ain't' practical. If I gotta' what I wanna', seventy virgins would be bouncing on my bed, if you know what I mean. But what I needa' is someone to love me for who 'I yam'. Wanna' encompasses the groin; needa' envelops the heart.

ღ ღ ღ

Mutually counting on each other, watching each other's backs, forcing each other to be brave.
~ Suzanne Collins
Lesson 33) It's a jungle out there and lovers much watch each other's backs.

I don't understand it, but sometimes people are not nice. It may have something to do with their crack ho single moms who sold their sorry asses for five bucks a pop, their rollercoaster ride through equally abusive foster homes, juvie court, substance abuse, dealing, hard time, dealing again, getting caught again and helping the cops to catch the big fish in exchange for their guppy freedom. But it's not that, because I've seen equally not nice people come from good homes. What they have in common is they're smart and size you up with 'what can I get out of this person'. Watch each other's backs and ankles from these slithering snakes. Use them only for handbags and boots.

To read the entire book please visit:

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part I, Lessons 1-19)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-i-lessons-1-19/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part II, Lessons 20-33)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-ii-lessons-20-33/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part III, Lessons 34-41)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-iii-lessons-34-41/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part IV, Lessons 42-50)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-iv-lessons-42-50-1/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part V, Lessons 51-59)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-v-lessons-51-59/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VI, Lessons 60-69)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-vi-lessons-60-69-1/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VII, Lessons 70-79)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-vii-lessons-70-79-1/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VIII, Lessons 80-89)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-viii-lessons-80-89/

Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part IX, Lesson 90)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/666213/l-s-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-ix-lesson-90/
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#love   #heartbreak   #kiss   #poem   #poetry   #broken   #poet   #sad   #depression   #life   #regret   #heart   #girl   #eyes   #passion   #yearning   #pain   #haiku   #sadness   #death   #hope   #dead   #loss   #lust   #relationships   #not   #content   #up   #lost   #be   #cheer   #dreams   #happiness   #rain   #hurt   #nature   #past   #friendship   #art   #thoughts   #window   #away   #sorrow   #crush   #wrong   #goodbye   #the   #lacking   #heaven   #fallen   #soul   #fuck   #joy   #me   #a   #infatuation   #inspiration   #writing   #emotion   #no   #last   #hold   #mia   #invisible   #for   #down   #to   #left   #out   #more   #suffering   #gone   #grief   #appreciation   #like   #here   #torment   #sea   #purpose   #missing   #optimism   #despair   #over   #trance   #back   #heartache   #save   #done   #affection   #laughter   #bliss   #split   #secrets   #sign   #soft   #create   #delight   #make   #enthusiasm   #wandering   #remorse   #potential   #growth   #intimacy   #mad   #get   #weakness   #care   #at   #respect   #passed   #contentment   #rapture   #hidden   #ardor   #from   #ecstasy   #distress   #take   #absent   #without   #missed   #win   #found   #off   #again   #elation   #flame   #devotion   #recover   #return   #ended   #torture   #between   #well   #reach   #paradise   #taste   #making   #enchantment   #bitterness   #spent   #pleasure   #agony   #fidelity   #achieve   #obscured   #fervor   #penis   #amour   #departed   #euphoria   #spot   #gain   #case   #under   #sentiment   #affliction   #mark   #disoriented   #anguish   #trending   #vanished   #glee   #broken-heart   #quit   #burned   #moved   #finished   #reader   #cracks   #woe   #dried   #desolation   #delirium   #tenderness   #frenzy   #primer   #misplaced   #worship   #transport   #title   #retention   #exaltation   #attachment   #rhapsody   #redefine   #beryl   #dov   #lew   #drain   #craft   #disappeared   #awry   #fondness   #sanctity   #traveling   #compass   #beryldov   #zeal   #nowhere   #enjoyment   #cast   #disintegrated   #displaced   #dissipated   #dissolved   #allegiance   #exhilaration   #adulation   #amity   #amorousness   #cherishing   #devotedness   #hankering   #idolatry   #inclination   #involvement   #partiality   #regard   #relish   #ardency   #irrevocable   #course   #ravishment   #consumed   #forfeit   #prosperity   #hilarity   #amiss   #astray   #adrift   #afield   #roaming   #straying   #vivacity   #wayward   #dominion   #awol   #removed   #merriment   #mirth   #rejoicing   #mislaid   #repossess   #reclaim   #occupation   #recapture   #deceased   #defunct   #extinct   #404   #gaiety   #lightheartedness   #attain   #beatitude   #blessedness   #cheerfulness   #cheeriness   #delectation   #ebullience   #exuberance   #felicity   #geniality   #gladness   #hopefulness   #joviality   #joyfulness   #jubilation   #playfulness   #seventh-heaven   #twilight-zone   #well-being   #retired   #clasp   #elapsed   #rue   #recruit   #custody   #redeem   #forfeited   #minus   #strayed   #irrecoverable   #irretrievable   #off-course   #unredeemed   #withdrawn   #transferred   #shifted   #flown   #decamped   #nonextant   #run-off   #recoup   #retake   #retrieve   #reacquire   #reattain   #occupancy   #proprietary   #proprietorship   #tenancy   #tenure   #possessorship   #clutches   #bale   #heartsickness   #heavy-heart  

Small-small catches the monkey’s tail.
~ Koma Tribe, Ghana

Lesson 60) Be patient. Let the relationship evolve at its own pace.

Your prospective mate is like a monkey in a tree, with their tail hanging down contently swaying from side to side like a Kit-Cat Clock (you know that wall clock with the pendulum tail and rolling eyes). You've got to creep up on them very slowly (using ‘small-small’ footsteps) to catch them. In other words, show patience and bit-bit you'll accomplish your goal. If you move too fast and cop a premature feel, you'll scare the monkey and she'll urinate on you and toss feces at your face from the high branches sort of like what Roseanne Barr did to her former spouse, Tom Arnold during their acrimonious divorce (or should I say, i-cry-money-us divorce).


You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Lesson 61) True unconditional means loving someone enough not to hold them back from their own journey to find happiness - even without you at their side.

You may remember this poster that was popular when I went to college (when I was not popular):
If you love someone set them free, if they come back it was meant to be.
Yeah, what he said. The Celtic proverb, 'Those who wish to sing will always find a song,' would also makes a kickass poster. Combining both posters, if your love's search to happiness is to become a famous singer, they'll be happy to have you sitting in the audience while they are  adored by loving fans. Call it a kinky ménage à mille. Warning: if your mate prefer the love of many over the love of one, you may have to beg for their autograph before they fuck you.


Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, complain less, breathe more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more, and good things will be yours.
~ Swedish Proverb

Lesson 62) Love More, Show Compassion More and Thank God More -- for all you have and you will receive.

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to be grateful and have compassion. Even if you're alone at the moment, be grateful that you were born in America (mind you, I don't say this out of nationalistic pride). Be grateful if you were lucky enough to be born in any 'first world' country. Just reflect for one moment about these 10 facts and I guarantee you will fear less, eat less, complain less, hate less and learn to love more:
1) At least 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day
2) According to UNICEF, 22,000 children die each day due to poverty.
3) Around 30 percent of all children in developing countries are estimated to be underweight because of near starvation diets.
4) Nearly a billion people entered the 21st century unable to read a book or sign their names.
5) An estimated 40 million people are living with HIV/AIDS, with 3 million deaths a year. Every year there are 350–500 million cases of malaria, with one million fatalities.
6) Some 1.1 billion people in developing countries have inadequate access to water, and 2.6 billion lack basic sanitation.
7) Almost two in three people in third world countries survive on less than $2 a day, with one in three living on less than $1 a day.
8) 121 million children worldwide have zero access to formal education
9) 11.6 million children died in 2012 before they reached the age of 5 (which is equal to the total children population in France, Germany, Greece and Italy combined).
10) In 2012, the wealthiest 20% of the world accounted for 80.6% of total private consumption. The poorest fifth just 1.5%
Feeling just a little grateful yet? Now put some of that gratitude to compassionate use.


Most men claim to desire driven, independent and confident women. Yet when confronted with such a creature reverence often evolves into resent. For just like women, men need to be needed.
~ Tiffany Madison

Lesson 63) Make your lover feel needed or you're end up lonely, like a fish on a bicycle with a high tech GPS and nowhere to go.

Feeling needed in an integral part of feeling loved. I think that psychologists and therapists wrongly attribute this 'neediness' to abandonment concerns where the subconscious theme that underlies the pairing dynamic is: "If you need me, you'll never leave me." That is only partly true and really only for co-dependent couples. For healthy couples, feeling needed is more about feeling essential, whole, vital and desired. It what validates me as a 'man'. Although today we've moved beyond the traditional roles as 'man the protector' or 'man as the provider' and fatuously deem them archaic -- our innate genes have not so moved by the fashion of our times. These are needs deeply hardwired in our genes and profoundly ingrained in our gender identity. When my marriage began, I felt my wife needed me in all these inherent ways. Fast forward twenty years, when my marriage began to fail, all I felt my wife needed was for me to be her 'meal ticket', someone who pays the bills and shuts-the-fuck-up. That may fly for my gender identity as 'man as the provider' - but what about all my other roles: lover, protector, leader, teacher and master of throwing out the garbage. In those roles, I felt, my wife failed me and made me feel useless, nonessential and as dispensable as the garbage itself.

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Lesson 64) The most enduring marriages are those that have friendship as its foundation, love as its walls and no roof to limit the heights to which it can soar.

First, I want to be the first to say I like my quote better than Nietzsche's, but nobody can trump 'What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.' Speaking of survival, from a Darwinian point of view, friendship is unnecessary in marriage, only the offspring are. But though friendship may have no survival value it is one of those things that give value to survival. Friendship is like art, philosophy and music, it defines humanity at its loftiest. Take that away and we are just brutish beasts with opposable thumbs grasping for the last McDonalds Wizard Of Oz Happy Meal Toys. Let's see. So far I've got The Wizard of Oz, The Scarecrow, The Cowardly Lion, The Tin Man, The Wicked Witch of the West, Auntie Em and Dorthy. I will fucking kill for Toto!

No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater…The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that’s the key. It’s like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece.
~ Sarah Dessen

Lesson 65) Learn to compromise or when you split up prepare to split your children in two.

You remember this Bible story. Two young women who lived in the same house and who both had an infant son came to Solomon for a judgment. One of the women claimed that the other, after accidentally smothering her own son while sleeping, had exchanged the two children to make it appear that the living child was hers. The other woman denied this and so both women claimed to be the mother of the living son and said that the dead boy belonged to the other.
After some deliberation, King Solomon called for a sword to be brought before him. He declared that there was only one fair solution: the live son must be split in two, each woman receiving half of the child. Upon hearing this terrible verdict, the boy's true mother cried out, "Oh Lord, give the baby to her, just don't kill him!" The liar, in her bitter jealousy, exclaimed, "It shall be neither mine nor yours—divide it!"
The king declared the first mother as the true mother and gave her the baby. King Solomon's judgment became known throughout all of Israel and was considered an example of profound wisdom.  
What I'm hinting at that without compromise there will be divorce. And with divorce, you can bet your sweet ass, the children become the innocent victims who are damaged by their parents selfish squabbles over materialistic shit.


Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
~ Joan Crawford

Lesson 66) Sure love is a gamble -- but it's better to lose than never spin the wheel.

[Carnival barker] "Ladies and gentlemen. Line right up and place your wager. You don't need money or chips - just take your heart, tear it free, and place it upon the number of your choosing. Then spin our fickle wheel of fortune. Round and round it goes, it spins, it spins and where it lands nobody knows. You may have the payoff of a lifetime. Or maybe, you'll wind up with a broken heart with a stent, a pacemaker and a percutaneous transluminal coronary angioplasty. Take ask me for my 'professional opinion.' I just take bets that favor the house."


I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.
~ Shana Abe
Lesson 67) To love another gives you courage, to be loved gives you strength, but best of all is to at once love and be loved -- only that combination will give you security.

There can be nothing more fulfilling than sleeping securely in the arms of your lover, that special niche that was created by the grace of God only for you.
Memory enfolds upon her sovereignty of sleep;
her beauty manifests not as pleasing proportion
but as an arcane assemblage of Ming porcelain,
clues pieced together to reveal
the numinous Yin within.
Tangrams of facile shapes recollect
into priceless chinoiserie
excavated with a toothbrush
beneath the clay noses
of a thousand entombed sentinels.          
She reposes within my niche,
an ingenuous vase,
her dreams fulcrumed by my lever.
My right arm, her nocturnal tiara,
diademed in jewels of sweat,
perfumed in muskiness and ferment,
heralded in the dulcet wail of snores.
Beneath the bay window of her oneiric realm
frogs belch Chopin's Impromptus,
chanticleers trumpet Hayden
cicadas chirp Mozart's Elvira Madigan.
Under the mask of night my niche becomes
her royal box at the Viennese Opera:
concertinas of Chinese silk,
the empyreal music of limns,
the fateful reprise of heaven
on a hinge.
-BDL



I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.
~ Lisa Kleypas

Lesson 68) You don't want to love your clone -- they would be too obnoxious. You want to love your complement.

I think that this is what the Chinese search for in their mates - someone that complements them, so that together they're an unbeatable team. That's a competitive business paradigm is too materialistic for my taste. Neither do I like the 'combined flaws' metaphor in the Lisa Kleypas quote above. Like, who the fuck is Lisa Kleypas anyway? By complementary I prefer to think in terms of, let's say, one partner who is passionate about their causes, and the complementary partner who is more about the laughter in life. These lovers complement each other. Passion empowers one lover to occupy Wall Street by declaring their uncompromising opposition to greed. The humor of the complementary lover prevents their mate from being so consumed by their passion they foolishly selling off the profitable stocks in their portfolio.


Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”  
~ Anaïs Nin

Lesson 69) Love can begin with the tiniest things - the look of his hand, the curl of her lips. But the end of love has a million variables to be factored in, the foremost being taking one another for granted.

If this Primer of Love is anything, it is rallying cry in waging a war against fatal familiarity, of taking each other for granted. Learn the lessons. Even if a handful stick and you practice them, your relationship will be enriched a hundred fold because the power of love is exponential. Love is like the magical Cup of Elijah, no matter how much wine is consumed it's always remains full. No matter how much love you've given, you have more than you started with. L'chaim!

To read the entire book please visit:

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part I, Lessons 1-19)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-i-lessons-1-19/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part II, Lessons 20-33)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-ii-lessons-20-33/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part III, Lessons 34-41)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-iii-lessons-34-41/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part IV, Lessons 42-50)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-iv-lessons-42-50-1/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part V, Lessons 51-59)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-v-lessons-51-59/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VI, Lessons 60-69)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-vi-lessons-60-69-1/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VII, Lessons 70-79)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-vii-lessons-70-79-1/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VIII, Lessons 80-89)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-viii-lessons-80-89/
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Questions are never indiscreet, answers sometimes are.
~ Oscar WildeQuestions are never indiscreet, answers sometimes are.
~ Oscar Wilde

Lesson 20) We measure the progress of a relationship not the answers given but by the questions we ask.

The question, "How do you want to be loved?" must be posed every day for the love to continue to grow and not become a heartless, mindless ritual of rote. My personal question is that I ask my mate every morning when she opens her eyes and every night when I kiss her good night, "Did I tell you how much I love you today?" When she answers, "Not yet," I then say, "Beyond words." Frame the question in words that are comfortable to you. Open and shut your eyes with it.

ღ ღ ღ

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.
~ Psalm 143:8

Lesson 21) We should love each other the way we should love God -- with a feeling of eternal gratitude.

Take nothing for granted - especially each other. Like God, sustain your love every second in a new act of creation. But the gratitude for yesterday's love should be eternal - a thread connecting the past with the forever present.  

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The biogenetic law or embryological parallelism, can be expressed as 'ontogeny recapitulates  phylogeny' states that in developing from embryo to adult, animals go through stages resembling or representing successive stages in the evolution of their remote ancestors."
~ Ernst Haeckel

Lesson 22) Love recapitulates the stages of a living organism.

Love goes from dependent infancy, to adventurous childhood, to teenage turmoil, to mature adulthood -- which entails the entire repertoire of human emotion. Love gone awry leads to senility and death. Keep it on track and you have eternity.

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Be strong, believe in freedom and in God, love yourself, understand your sexuality, have a sense of humor, masturbate, don't judge people by their religion, color or sexual habits, love life and your family.
~ Madonna

Lesson 23) Love yourself with all your flaws then you can learn to love another deeply.

You cannot love another unless you love yourself first. But, while you're prepping yourself for the greatest adventure, don't fall too in love with yourself. Narcissism can often lead to a solipsistic
self-absorption which only admits others as entertainment, not as agents of transformation.

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When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
~ Lao Tzu

Lesson 24) Love is transformative leading to your true nature, but you must embrace vulnerability to be transformed.

To be transformed you must shed those pachydermal layers of character armor and become naked and vulnerable. Easier said than done. We've all been hurt at one point and we have an adaptive survival mechanism not to let ourselves becomes vulnerable enough to be hurt again. You must resist your own survival mechanisms to be loved.

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I am coming to terms with the fact that loving someone requires a leap of faith, and that a soft landing is never guaranteed.
~ Sarah Dessen

Lesson 25) Loving another is the greatest leap of faith.

It is even greater than faith in a Benevolent God, despite ubiquitous evil and the death of loved ones. We cannot hedge with fully committed love. There is no back up, no safety net for true love. If you fall, your heart is broken. But if you don't fall, you've jumped that infinite gorge between God and Adam's finger and have tasted Divinity.
leap as a child leaps
reckless and unreckoned
for the calculated jump
is a fall in its hesitation
dream as a child dreams
long lashed in REM
hands tossed above their heads
for the open eyed sleepers
are too vigilant
of tricksters and schemers
their pillows soaked
with nightmares
and day fears
                                 - BDL

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True love isn't Romeo and Juliet who died together. It's Grandma and Grandpa who grew old together.
~ Anonymous

Lesson 26) Love does not necessarily go from hard and wet to limp and sandpapery.

Sex never ends. To grow old with each other is accept the physiological changes of our aging partners and keep our prescriptions to Viagra and vaginal lubricants current. Hard and wet are better even if the walkers with green balls get in the way. Pump up the volume on the porn and play hide the shriveled sausage in the badly wrapped taco.

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Don't let yourself die without knowing the wonder of fucking with love.
~ Gabriel García Márquez

Lesson 27) Sex is not love, love is sex --- ah fuck it!

Is it fucking or loving?
Make no mistake
In loving you give,
in fucking you take.
But taking is just loving
With each other's permission
So give your loving consent
To fuck in every position.
                                    -BDL

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In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
- Khalil Gibran

Lesson 28) Silliness and laughter are the preservatives that keep a relationship from going stale.

Laughter is the tool that diffuse anger, resentment, jealousy, boredom, self-absorption, pettiness, sadness and stuff like that. When one partner loses their sense of humor, the relationship is guaranteed to be over within a year. Silliness is laughter applied as a salve. Sarcasm is laughter applied with a chisel.

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Hallow the body as a temple to comeliness and sanctify the heart as a sacrifice to love; love recompenses the adorers.
~ Khalil Gibran

Lesson 29) Sanctify one another.

The Hebrew word for marriage is Kiddushin, which means to sanctify. Intimacy brings us to a higher level of holiness, bringing us closer to God. In Judaism, an intimacy that leads to the conception of new life actually brings down the shechina -- God's manifestation on earth. God is the third partner of a marriage, but only descends to earth when we do the nasty and become Creators ourselves.

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I didn't fall in love of course
it's never up to you
but she was walking back and forth
and i was passing through
~ Leonard Cohen, Book of Longing

Lesson 30) First fall in love, then grow in love, then harvest in love.

The falling is the chemistry, the growing is the botany and the harvesting is the phenomenology of love. A couple in love is always planting seeds and nurturing them with tears and laughter. When their old they have this prickly bush in the garage they have no fucking idea what to do with. Really, they harvest a life well spent.

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Cherish every moment with those you love at every stage of your journey.
~ Jack Layton

Lesson 31) Cherish everything -- even if you've paid retail.

If every nuance of experience and every soul and thing on earth you connect with is a gift from God, how much more so is your partner in crime, a personal gift from your Creator. Say, 'thank you God' and 'thank you my love' at every opportunity. Use you spare time to create the opportunities to give thanks.

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What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.”
~ Chuck Palahniuk

Lesson 32) I wanna', you' wanna', they wanna'. Fugedabot' wanna' -- you gotta needa'.

You've got to get the basic Brooklyn grammar of love down pat before you compose sentences or issue a writ of habeas corpus. Wanna' ain't' practical. If I gotta' what I wanna', seventy virgins would be bouncing on my bed, if you know what I mean. But what I needa' is someone to love me for who 'I yam'. Wanna' encompasses the groin; needa' envelops the heart.

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Mutually counting on each other, watching each other's backs, forcing each other to be brave.
~ Suzanne Collins
Lesson 33) It's a jungle out there and lovers much watch each other's backs.

I don't understand it, but sometimes people are not nice. It may have something to do with their crack ho single moms who sold their sorry asses for five bucks a pop, their rollercoaster ride through equally abusive foster homes, juvie court, substance abuse, dealing, hard time, dealing again, getting caught again and helping the cops to catch the big fish in exchange for their guppy freedom. But it's not that, because I've seen equally not nice people come from good homes. What they have in common is they're smart and size you up with 'what can I get out of this person'. Watch each other's backs and ankles from these slithering snakes. Use them only for handbags and boots.

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To read the entire book please visit:

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part I, Lessons 1-19)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-i-lessons-1-19/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part II, Lessons 20-33)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-ii-lessons-20-33/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part III, Lessons 34-41)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-iii-lessons-34-41/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part IV, Lessons 42-50)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-iv-lessons-42-50-1/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part V, Lessons 51-59)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-v-lessons-51-59/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VI, Lessons 60-69)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-vi-lessons-60-69-1/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VII, Lessons 70-79)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-vii-lessons-70-79-1/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VIII, Lessons 80-89)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-viii-lessons-80-89/

Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part IX, Lesson 90)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/666213/l-s-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-ix-lesson-90/
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#love   #heartbreak   #kiss   #poem   #poetry   #broken   #poet   #sad   #depression   #life   #regret   #heart   #girl   #eyes   #passion   #yearning   #pain   #haiku   #sadness   #death   #hope   #dead   #loss   #lust   #relationships   #not   #content   #up   #lost   #be   #cheer   #dreams   #happiness   #rain   #hurt   #nature   #past   #friendship   #art   #thoughts   #window   #away   #sorrow   #crush   #wrong   #goodbye   #the   #lacking   #heaven   #fallen   #soul   #fuck   #joy   #me   #a   #infatuation   #inspiration   #writing   #emotion   #no   #last   #hold   #mia   #invisible   #for   #down   #to   #left   #out   #more   #suffering   #gone   #grief   #appreciation   #like   #here   #torment   #sea   #purpose   #missing   #optimism   #despair   #over   #trance   #back   #heartache   #save   #done   #affection   #laughter   #bliss   #split   #secrets   #sign   #soft   #create   #delight   #make   #enthusiasm   #wandering   #remorse   #potential   #growth   #intimacy   #mad   #get   #weakness   #care   #at   #respect   #passed   #contentment   #rapture   #hidden   #ardor   #from   #ecstasy   #distress   #take   #absent   #without   #missed   #win   #found   #off   #again   #elation   #flame   #devotion   #recover   #return   #ended   #torture   #between   #well   #reach   #paradise   #taste   #making   #enchantment   #bitterness   #spent   #pleasure   #agony   #fidelity   #achieve   #obscured   #fervor   #penis   #amour   #departed   #euphoria   #spot   #gain   #case   #under   #sentiment   #affliction   #mark   #disoriented   #anguish   #trending   #vanished   #glee   #broken-heart   #quit   #burned   #moved   #finished   #reader   #cracks   #woe   #dried   #desolation   #delirium   #tenderness   #frenzy   #primer   #misplaced   #worship   #transport   #title   #retention   #exaltation   #attachment   #rhapsody   #redefine   #beryl   #dov   #lew   #drain   #craft   #disappeared   #awry   #fondness   #sanctity   #traveling   #compass   #beryldov   #zeal   #nowhere   #enjoyment   #cast   #disintegrated   #displaced   #dissipated   #dissolved   #allegiance   #exhilaration   #adulation   #amity   #amorousness   #cherishing   #devotedness   #hankering   #idolatry   #inclination   #involvement   #partiality   #regard   #relish   #ardency   #irrevocable   #course   #ravishment   #consumed   #forfeit   #prosperity   #hilarity   #amiss   #astray   #adrift   #afield   #roaming   #straying   #vivacity   #wayward   #dominion   #awol   #removed   #merriment   #mirth   #rejoicing   #mislaid   #repossess   #reclaim   #occupation   #recapture   #deceased   #defunct   #extinct   #404   #gaiety   #lightheartedness   #attain   #beatitude   #blessedness   #cheerfulness   #cheeriness   #delectation   #ebullience   #exuberance   #felicity   #geniality   #gladness   #hopefulness   #joviality   #joyfulness   #jubilation   #playfulness   #seventh-heaven   #twilight-zone   #well-being   #retired   #clasp   #elapsed   #rue   #recruit   #custody   #redeem   #forfeited   #minus   #strayed   #irrecoverable   #irretrievable   #off-course   #unredeemed   #withdrawn   #transferred   #shifted   #flown   #decamped   #nonextant   #run-off   #recoup   #retake   #retrieve   #reacquire   #reattain   #occupancy   #proprietary   #proprietorship   #tenancy   #tenure   #possessorship   #clutches   #bale   #heartsickness   #heavy-heart  

To love a person is to learn the song
That is in their heart,
And to sing it to them
When they have forgotten.
~ by Anonymous ~

Lesson 34) Tell you lover your life's dreams from the beginning so they can remind you when your getting off track.

This is the Prime Directive, the Categorical Imperative, the Hamburger Helper of all love relationships. Tell them when they're fucking up and losing sight of their piñata. Slap them, nag them, coerce them back on their dreamquest. If you don't and they don't realize their dreams, they'll blame it on you. If they do realize it, they will give you credit and you've come that much closer to realizing your own. Then tear open the piñata and stuff your faces.


Right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.
~ by Anonymous

Lesson 35) Do not seek the fairy tale ending -- be a mensch in all you do and it will surely find you.

Happiness is more elusive than the Irian Jaya Bird of Paradise, which is rarely spotted in the mist-shrouded highlands. We hear the eerie call of Paradise, which haunts the forest as long as the sun is up, but there's no fucking fairy tail to be found -- not even a feather from its glorious plumage. Read a few Psalms, give charity anonymously and be kind to strangers. The Bird of Paradise will answer your silent call and eat the red and yellow M&M;'s right out of your hand.  The lunatic laughter that goes on compulsively at dusk in lowland jungles is the laughing falcon and your Ex's attorney. There are no happy endings, just moments of respite. Peanut and plain.


We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion.
~ Max de Pree

Lesson 36) Each lover must provide a vessel for his partner to grow in.

We're not talking about a Petri dish with a shmear of agar & lox. I use the more sacred term 'vessel', as opposed to more popular buzzword 'space', for a vessel is more structured, utilitarian and allows for a degree of customization. Space is too rarefied an atmosphere to nurture growth and is better suited for the Cardassian Demilitarized Zone or Romulan Neutral Zone in Star Trec. Growth requires multiple levels of input of ideas, through culture and friends. You must permit your lover separate interests and a different circle of friends than your own. Use the vessel not as a control freak but to help filter out distractions and  keep your partner focused on the very dreams they've shared with you -- especially if your partner is by nature a lazy-assed slacker and fuck-up and needs a little nudge now and then. Don't forget to give your partner plenty of solitary chill time to kick back in their crib with a phat blunt and pick their toenails with the tine of a fork. But if that's all they do while you're busting your chops bringing home the knishes -- be forewarned that their lack of ambition may stunt your own growth and the guardian vessel they will create for you may more resemble a Trojan condom than a Grecian urn. Remember, terra cotta returns to the earth but there's no escape from latex.

It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.
~ Mother Teresa

Lesson 37) Give your lover surprising gifts spontaneously -- accompanied with a love note.

A marketing survey showed the top five love gifts to be:
a) a single red rose
b) tropical getaway
c) something from the heart that required extra special thought
d) something handmade
e) anything as long as it is a surprise
Look, a) through d) are all footnotes to e). What makes it a gift special is not its cost but precisely the element of surprise. Breakfast in bed is sweet; your first candlelit dinner is bed, a gift. A cute teddy bear is sweet, a custom teddy bear that looks just like you, a gift. An unemployment check is sweet, a new job sweeter. Every gift should be accompanied by a personally written love note, poem or vulnerable sentiment -- none of that massed produced Hallmark crap.


There are many paths to Mount Fuji, but there is only one summit - love.
~ Morihei Ueshiba, 20th century philosopher-martial artist

Lesson 38) Always reach for the summit; if your lovers dead weight, cut them lose.

Let's follow this metaphor on a different path than Morihei Ueshiba intended. Reaching the precipitous summit of love is our climb. You need to be equipped with special gear to reach these euphoric altitudes. Here’s a short list of the equipment you'll need:
1  Nine inch piton (for playing 'Hide the Piton' at 10,000 feet and 'Milk the Piton' at 15,000 feet)
1  belay device (in case we have to stall a swarm of killer ass bees that can't be reasoned with)
1  dozen crampons (no strings attached/Velcro clasps for EZ crampon/crampoff action)
1  mountain axe (u don't axe; I don't tell)
1  pair of approach skis (you sneaky bastard!)
1  tube of KY jelly (to grease the skis, pervert)
6  non-locking carabineers (for the well slung man)
2  pulleys (you're going to have to haul some real ass for me)
2  ascenders with loops (preferably fruit loops with a sex toy at the bottom of the box)
1  chest harness sling (Peter Pan is just soooo hot!)
9  avalanche probe poles (can't get enough of those; you probe while I froth the latte)
8  kilograms of blue ribbon zucchini (can't get enough of those either!)
200 meters of rope (for some Ali-Foreman 'rope-a-dope' B&D; role play)
1  multi-tiered wedding cake (for a bit of sloshing on the slopes)
3  quarts of trail mix (I like to mix it up a bit)
1  live chicken (self-explanatory)
1  can of spam (for sustenance at high altitudes -- preferably disposable Nigerian spam)
1  tank of oxygen (Oops! make that nitrous oxide)
3  rolls of duct tape (I'm taking my kitty with me)
1  face mask (for role-playing the terrorist/hostage)
1  pair of snow-wind goggles (for role-playing frog/princess)
1  pair boot gaiters (in case we get dehydrated and need gaiter-ade)
1  pr. überboots (for Nazi dominatrix role-play)
1  pr. goose-down trousers (preferably with a snap crotch for a quick goose release)
4  pints of Haagen Dazs, vanilla with chocolate almonds (no refrigeration necessary)
1  urine bottle (to decorate our tent with golden icicles)
1  head torch (for peek-a-boo in the sleeping bag)
1  shovel (to bury the axe --- why can't we all just fucking get along?)
The gear is also a metaphor for the excellence of character that's been hopefully evolving during your relationship. You are linked to each other with a slender rope. There may come a time in the life of the serious mountain climber that his fellow climber falls -- perhaps he's abused the sacred trust between you by sticking his piton where it doesn't belong or she's lubricating probe poles when she's supposed at Sam's Club. The climber hangs on to you by the thread of your past life together. Sometimes -- with forgiveness -- you can drag them in and resume your climb, strengthened in your resolve to conquer the summit. But there may come this morally agonizing time that you can't pull your climber in. They fucked up too badly. Either you cut them loose --or you perish with them -- living a life without dignity. If you cut them loose may have the opportunity to climb other mountains in this lifetime.


Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don't love to be loved; we love to love.
~ Leo Buscaglia

Lesson 39) Love is a gift not an obligation.

Nobody owes you shit. Love is a present bestowed upon us by our lover for which you should be grateful. Love should not be given or received from a sense of obligation, reciprocation or desperation. When someone unrequitedly loves your undeserving ass, the proper etiquette here is not to say 'I love you' back, rather 'thank you'. Only say 'I love you' when you want to freely bestow the gift with no strings in either direction. There's no tit for tat in the harrowing affairs of the heart. If your lover is expecting an 'I love you' back, and the spirit doesn't move you, give them a kiss. The ambiguity should stall them long enough to move on to safer ground. If your lover persists in his litany of 'I love you's' and you persist in your peck and duck dance, call the Audubon Society. It may be time for this fledgling to fly the nest. It's not enough to be adored, you must adore back to live a happy and fulfilling life. You may rightfully ask, 'Isn't it better to be the recipient of unrequited love than to be home alone watching reruns of Sex in the City?' Listen, you already have that fucking relationship with your adoring parents. Don't make it into a lifestyle.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
~ Margaret Mead
Lesson 40) Lovingly celebrate your partner's peculiarities.

You were brought up by two totally different dysfunctional families. No two sets of alcoholic parents are alike. You each come with your own tics, tacs and oddities. Lovingly accept these differences as aspects of your lover's uniqueness. An aspect is just the other side of the coin of some quality you already love about them. For instance is he barks whenever he urinates, this is simply an aspect of his need to guard over you and protect you from own worst enemy * yourself. If she yells out the name of a previous lover during an orgasm, this is just another aspect of
ah, fuck it! * put the down pillow on her sorry face and suffocate the bitch.

The essence of pleasure is spontaneity.
~ Germaine Greer

Lesson 41) Play it mostly by ear mostly, but when time is at a premium, plan a bit.

Life is not a busy appointment page on your smartphone, you anal retentive fucktard. Life is all about improvisation. The fickle mood for a sour pickle and a box of Entenmanns's mixed donuts, the sudden urge to watch the entire 5 seasons of Breaking Bad together on a lazy Sunday afternoon, or the instant decision to stay home and prepare a four cheese lasagna instead of going out to a nice Italian restaurant. These are the priceless events than even MasterCard cannot challenge. But if you only have a four day weekend, you two have to be grounded in reality. Don't just climb in the car and drive. Pick a fucking direction. Thank God for GPS.

Stay tuned for Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part IV through VIII). This is a book I wrote way back in 2005 after I got divorced and was searching for a new soulmate. Finding my true love was a long, arduous 8 year journey with many setbacks, yet another unfulfilling long term relationship followed by a quite enjoyable 'playboy sportfucking' stage. Enjoyable, but ultimately unfulfulling. I finally remarried in January of this year. I personally use many of the lessons in the Primer to sustain my love and continually reignite it. I thinks marriages/reltionships primarily fail because couples take each other for granted and slowly the love dies. I hope you and your soulmate will integrate some of these lessons and love each other forever -- because, 'If it ain't forever, it just ain't love'.

Please visit:
Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part I, Lessons 1-19)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-i-lessons-1-19/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part II, Lessons 20-33)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-ii-lessons-20-33/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part IV, Lessons 42-50)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-iv-lessons-42-50-1/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part V, Lessons 51-59)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-v-lessons-51-59/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VI, Lessons 60-69)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-vi-lessons-60-69-1/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VII, Lessons 70-79)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-vii-lessons-70-79-1/

Beryl Dov Lew's Primer of Love: The Secrets of Making Love Last (Part VIII, Lessons 80-89)
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/beryl-dov-lews-primer-of-love-the-secrets-of-making-love-last-part-viii-lessons-80-89/
#love   #heartbreak   #kiss   #poem   #poetry   #broken   #poet   #sad   #depression   #life   #regret   #heart   #girl   #eyes   #passion   #yearning   #pain   #haiku   #sadness   #death   #hope   #dead   #loss   #lust   #relationships   #not   #content   #up   #lost   #be   #cheer   #dreams   #happiness   #rain   #hurt   #nature   #past   #friendship   #art   #thoughts   #window   #away   #sorrow   #crush   #wrong   #goodbye   #the   #lacking   #heaven   #fallen   #soul   #fuck   #joy   #me   #a   #infatuation   #inspiration   #writing   #emotion   #no   #last   #hold   #mia   #invisible   #for   #down   #to   #left   #out   #more   #suffering   #gone   #grief   #appreciation   #like   #here   #torment   #sea   #purpose   #missing   #optimism   #despair   #over   #trance   #back   #heartache   #save   #done   #affection   #laughter   #bliss   #split   #secrets   #sign   #soft   #create   #delight   #make   #enthusiasm   #wandering   #remorse   #potential   #growth   #intimacy   #mad   #get   #weakness   #care   #at   #respect   #passed   #contentment   #rapture   #hidden   #ardor   #from   #ecstasy   #distress   #take   #absent   #without   #missed   #win   #found   #off   #again   #elation   #flame   #devotion   #recover   #return   #ended   #torture   #between   #well   #reach   #paradise   #taste   #making   #enchantment   #bitterness   #spent   #pleasure   #agony   #fidelity   #achieve   #obscured   #fervor   #penis   #amour   #departed   #euphoria   #spot   #gain   #case   #under   #sentiment   #affliction   #mark   #disoriented   #anguish   #trending   #vanished   #glee   #broken-heart   #quit   #burned   #moved   #finished   #reader   #cracks   #woe   #dried   #desolation   #delirium   #tenderness   #frenzy   #primer   #misplaced   #worship   #transport   #title   #retention   #exaltation   #attachment   #rhapsody   #redefine   #beryl   #dov   #lew   #drain   #craft   #disappeared   #awry   #fondness   #sanctity   #traveling   #compass   #beryldov   #zeal   #nowhere   #enjoyment   #cast   #disintegrated   #displaced   #dissipated   #dissolved   #allegiance   #exhilaration   #adulation   #amity   #amorousness   #cherishing   #devotedness   #hankering   #idolatry   #inclination   #involvement   #partiality   #regard   #relish   #ardency   #irrevocable   #course   #ravishment   #consumed   #forfeit   #prosperity   #hilarity   #amiss   #astray   #adrift   #afield   #roaming   #straying   #vivacity   #wayward   #dominion   #awol   #removed   #merriment   #mirth   #rejoicing   #mislaid   #repossess   #reclaim   #occupation   #recapture   #deceased   #defunct   #extinct   #404   #gaiety   #lightheartedness   #attain   #beatitude   #blessedness   #cheerfulness   #cheeriness   #delectation   #ebullience   #exuberance   #felicity   #geniality   #gladness   #hopefulness   #joviality   #joyfulness   #jubilation   #playfulness   #seventh-heaven   #twilight-zone   #well-being   #retired   #clasp   #elapsed   #rue   #recruit   #custody   #redeem   #forfeited   #minus   #strayed   #irrecoverable   #irretrievable   #off-course   #unredeemed   #withdrawn   #transferred   #shifted   #flown   #decamped   #nonextant   #run-off   #recoup   #retake   #retrieve   #reacquire   #reattain   #occupancy   #proprietary   #proprietorship   #tenancy   #tenure   #possessorship   #clutches   #bale   #heartsickness   #heavy-heart  
 
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