It's hard to exude the kind of confidence that makes people respect you.
I'm a grown woman, but I've yet to master it.
When I'm told no, when I'm told
"You can't do that," "Don't act like that," or "That's not okay," I can scream and argue in my head, but my body cowers.
And I'm no longer the woman I thought I was-
Strong and independent.
I'm a withered flower that may have once been blooming but is now reduced to nothing.
I was just like you
I rose with the rising sun
I brought a smile to all those who passed by me
Alan spoke about my colour
Brendon was amazed at my arrangement
Claire wanted to touch me
Dorothy wanted her perfume with the fragrance I carried
Emily wanted to take me with her
Francis wanted to give me to his lady love,
I thought I was the most important being on earth
I thought everyone loved me
I thought I brought a smile to people's face.
Am no longer loved,
Alan just walked by
Brendon bothered not
Claire cared not
Dorothy drove past
Emily ensured the same as did
Am nothing more than a withered rose
With my strewn petals in the pathway
And that's right
Step on or sweep away
All you people
Might one day end up just like me!!!
- A Withered Yellow Rose.
best days better left behind bereft of joy
fighting in vain for fleeting fulfillment
instead seeping bile from punctured
organ appendix found septic too late
even still now hungry for real life like
stomach tapeworm eating purpose
lost along the way now empty, grey
when did time get away from us all
leaving bitter little paisan us's
stripped bare of long dead dreams
like Christmas morning c-section strippers
five dollar bills stuffed in withered cunts
All I do
Is sit in my room
And feel sorry for myself.
It feels like so long
Since the day we met,
And now all I do is wait.
I’m not ashamed to admit
I’ve been carving your initials
Into my eyes
The exact same way
I try to carve sanity
Out of the thoughts
That I’ve been dissecting
In this conceited attempt
Such a sad condition
To admit that I’m broken…
beneath the dirt.
And all the roots
from all the trees
grown downward past my head.
If I tied them into nooses,
would they bury me faster?
The flowers bloom;
I can smell their sweetness
leak like gasoline
between the blades of grass,
behind the ladybug's wings.
If I tossed a match,
would I burn faster?
I can feel the worms
they are wriggling
around my arms
and up my wrists.
If they could bite,
would I bleed faster?
I'm the dirt,
I smell like soil.
I break the seed
so the plants can grow.
I drink the water
the grass doesn't need.
If I break myself
and refuse to drink,
will I wither faster?
Or at all?
Hungry, wolves roaming the streets.
Broken, abandoned taken into captivation.
Hurt, fear of the unseen unheard.
Soon to be of the infinitely kindred.
I, lonely to be as a lighthouse.
Alone, a person who has no one.
A butterfly without wings;
A beautiful withered soul.
Sometimes I think you would be better off without me by your side.
I picture other smiling faces by your side.
I believe you would be better off without me.
I fear I bring you too much pain and frustration.
I think it's time to let you go so you can be happier.
I will only bring you down with me.
I've thought before that without you, I would have no reason to walk this earth.
But lately, I feel as though, the world would be better off without me.
You will be so much better off without me.
You helped me while you could.
But now I'm drowning and no one can save me.
Or maybe I just don't want to be saved.
I feel lonelier than ever tonight.
I feel obsolete.
And now I will go and let you be happy.
wrap your perfect little fingers around
my ever so beating heart
sink your nails
into the walls
drive a needle
straight through my
ever so beating heart
make the pain sweet
please oh please
just crush my
its to much to handle
sink those talons deep
rip me apart
tear me open
make me bleed
make the rivers of flowing red
spill from their perfect little canals
upset the function
fuck up the natural balance