You’re the reason why I wake up - immediately look at my phone every morning,
And the reason why I don’t get up
You’re also the reason why I stay up late all night wondering if you ever think about me,
the same way that I do about you every single night.

You’re the reason why I randomly laugh at random places - shockingly look at people because they’re wondering why I’m laughing and possibly expect that I’m crazy,
And the reason why I secretly cry from all the distressing words you say.

You’re the reason why I write,
And the reason why I don’t.

You’re the reason why I believe in myself that i can do good at everything and,
also the reason why I discourage myself.

You’re the reason why I’m happy,
but also the reason why I’m sad.

You’re the reason why I sing in the shower feeling like I’m in my own concert,
and also the reason why I drown myself in the water.

You’re the reason why I’m strong and,
also the reason why I can’t carry on.

You’re the reason why I’m allergic to cliché, all the lovey dovey type of love, and all the stupid fantasies.

You’re the reason why I play and,
the reason why I frozenly stare at the keys.
You’re the reason why I pass a day with a smile clipping butterflies in my stomach and,
also the reason why I scream at the top of my lungs, wanting the whole world to hear it.

You’re the reason why my heart isn’t longingly staying from its natural beat and,
also the reason why I can’t breathe.

You’re the reason why I’m in my right mind,
but also the reason why I’m demented, unstable and confused.

You’re the reason why I feel like I’m home - somehow fine and,
also the reason why I feel lost at most time.

You’re the reason why I stare at white walls and making unbelievable scenes in my head,
and also the reason why I keep myself busy to keep you off my mind.

You’re the reason why I think I make the right decisions,
but also the reason why I’m drowning from all the mistakes that I’ve done and you, pouring it into me.

You’re the reason why I take medicines to keep myself healthy and also,
the reason why I run away and fill tons of alcohol in my kidney.

You’re the reason why I’m understanding and patient.

You’re the reason why I’m still walking on my own feet and,
also the reason why I’m falling apart nearly on my knees.

You’re the reason why I stay,
and also the reason why I want to leave.

You’re the reason why I want you.
Yes, I do, blame you.
Because look what I have become,
I’m such a fool for you.
But darling, I really do,
want you.

You’re the reason I crave
and the reason why I cave.

You’re the reason why I have these walls and
the reason why it’ll slowly fall.

You’re the reason why I’m writing this long piece of crap with whole bunch of ‘you’re’s and ‘why’s.
I wonder…
Have I ever been your 'reason why’s?

So what is the reason ?

The reason for WHAT … !!!

The reason I be seeing ...
"Ignorance" … in  …
Human Beings … ?!? …

Why are these … " Demons " …
…… " Breathing " …… !?!?!?!

There has to be a reason … ?!?

So Many … Seasons
So Many … Beatings
So Many … Cheating
So Many … Feelings

That …
Leave people … SEETHING … !!!!!!

You See … " Some " …
End up … REELING … !!!
and then  … end up …
…… " Kneeling " ……. !!!!!!!

Asking for … " Guidance "
to … riSE ABOVE … " Violence "

And To …
riSE ABOVE … PAIN … !!!!!

That drives … MANY …
…….. INSANE ……… !!!!!!

So ... is there a reason ?
for people left … " BLEEDING " … ??!??

I wonder … if … ?
" Heathens " …
or … Christians … ?
Be … SEEING …

A Need … for a … " Faith "
that … Relegates … " hate "
and YES …… " Separatism "

To a place where … " Religion "
Does NOT … deal in … KILLING … !!!!!
or … Visions of …. " Living " ….
That … Stand By … DIVISION …  

REASONS ……
for … " Racism " … ???

TOO MANY … to mention … !!!
But … They Need …
….. PREVENTION ….. !!!!!

Reasons for … STRESSING … ?!?

Well ….
Life can be … " Testing " … !!!
when people be … " Messing "
with … How you be … " Blessing "
yourself with … " Wise Lessons " …

Instead of … investing …
in … Spreading … " infections " … !!!!!
where … Reason is … lessened … ?!?!?
to let … "Tension" … STRENGTHEN … !!!!!

What Reason … ?
Now … Feeds … ?
My … " Poetic Themes " … ?

I've written … TOO MANY … !!!
That Prove … I Rock … STEADY … !!!

because my themes … Vary …
from vibes of what's … Scary …
to songs of ….. Chuck Berry …… !!!

So … " Johnny Be Goode "
cos it's a … " Mean Old World "

Use … " Reason " …
and ….. WOOD ….. !!!

to …
" Sweet Up " … These girls … !!!!!!

So …..
What is … " The Reason " …  ?
Girls … get your heart … BEATING …
to the point where … Your Breathing …
Then … Hinders … your speaking … ?!!!?

SUDDENLY ….
All … " Tongue Tied " … !!!!!

while guys who are … " Sly " …
Slip … between … their thighs …
and have … Kissed them … " Goodbye "
before … you can …. " Find " ….

A way to say … " Hi " … !!!!!

Ahhhh well … Never mind …

I Reason with … WOMEN … !!!!!
from end to … Beginning …
and find that … They … " LOVE "…
More than they … " Huh Hmmm " … !!!!!!

What Reason … Defines … ???
Wordplay that … Kicks Rhymes …
and flows … just like mine … !!! …

Where Expletives … " Recline "
and … Good Diction … SHINES … !!!!!

I'd say … " Education " …
Negating … " Playstation " …

and time that is … Spent …
Expressing with … Friends …
are things that … YES … " Lend " …
Themselves to …. " Poems " ….

That … " Reason " …
through verse … about this …

….. " Crazy World " ….. !!?!! …..

So …..
Here's where … These Words …
Now take a …… NEW TURN ……

I Reason with … " Heads " …
who deal in … " Good Sense " …

So ……
These heads aren't … " Common "
and … Don't take … " Offence " …
to … REASON … that … " SEASONS "
just like …… " Gourmet Chefs " ……. !!!!!

or those ….
Who have … " less " …
but … Still Do … THEIR BEST … !!!!!

to leave … taste buds … " Fiending "
for … MORE FOOD … Not … less … !!!!!

Food that is … " Ital " … !!!
and Clearly is … VITAL …
to … " Rasta Man Strength " … !!!

See ...
I Reason with … " Rastas "
who deal in … REAL CHATTER … !!!!!

NOT … " Bogus " … Gun Clappers …
or …. " Ignorant " …. Rappers …. !!!!!!!!

It's … Emcees Who … " Reason " … !!!    
Through Lyrics … They Speak …
Who … INSPIRE … me … !!! …

NOT … Rappers who deal in …
PURE … " Lyrical Treason " … !!!!!

WHAT REASON … " Allows " …  ?!?
Their Pish' … to rock … CROWDS … !?!

while mouths who speak … TRUTH …
and use …. " Soulful Grooves " ….
have to work … TWICE AS HARD … !?!
for their verse to … " Make Marks " …
in the minds of … " Weak Hearts " …
when their wordplay is … SHARP … !!?!!

SHARP and YES … " Pleasing "
to mind states … in … " Regions "
where … " Beacons of Reason " …
Shine BRIGHT … with … " Cohesion "

But … Still give out … BEATINGS …  !!!!!
to … Legions … with … LESIONS … !!!!!!!

because of their … " Teachings " …

I'm an …
" ALL BLACK " … man …
Kind of like … " Polynesians " … !!!!!!

Standing in … " Haka Stance " …

Calling on … " Gods of War " …
for lyrics that …. ROAR …. !!!!!!!!!!!

Just like those … " Maoris " … !!!
YES … Strongly and … Proudly !!!!!
  
I Reason … with … " Patience "
and … try to be … " Gracious "
when dealing with … " Haters "
Whose Reason's … " Loquacious "

Forget about … " Status "
and making those … Papers … !!!

and … STOP … for a sec …
and … REASON … instead … !!!

YES …. with …. " Yourself "
and … BETTER … Your Health … !!!

These words are … HEARTFELT … !!!!

I suggest that you … " Reason " …
for MORE … " Wealth of Self " …

It's just a … " Suggestion " …
That May … " Hinder " …

…… Stressing …… ?!?

So here's the … " Test Pressing "

More Reason with … " Logic "
that's NOT … " MICROSCOPIC "
or … Worse … " Catastrophic " … !!!!!

Will … PREVENT … More Nonsense …
and … KEEP US …… " On Topics " …….

That … We KEEP …
" WELL SEASONED " … !!!!!

To Grow … STRONGER LEGIONS … !!!
Who … EXTINGUISH … " Treason " … !!!!
and ….. " Fraudulent Speaking " …..

So that …..
We Start … " Reaching " …
for Lessons and … " Teachings " …

That …..

STRENGTHEN … our being …

to use … " Logic " …

with ….. " Reason " …..

Got your mind made up,
You’re leaving this town.
Just as soon as the next summer rolls around.
Let me be your reason to stay.

You’re grabbing your keys,
Headed to the door.
Got nothing else to say, nothing no more.
Let me be your reason to stay.

Getting in your car,
Not a look back.
Going on home, just to pack.
Let me be your reason to stay.

A slight knock on your door.
One little kiss.
Something that drives you mad, something you’ll miss.
Let me be your reason to stay.

Grab my hand.
Pull me in close.
Say you’ll miss me the most.
Let me be your reason to stay.

You’re slowly moving on.
Long down the road.
I’m just sitting at home, “missing you” mode.
Let me be your reason to stay.

Would you miss me at all?
Every second, every hour?
My tears are pouring down, one long rain shower.
Let me be your reason to stay.

You’re having some regrets,
You want to move back.
Going to your newfound home, just to pack.
Let me be your reason to stay.

A slight knock on your door.
One little kiss.
Something that drives you mad, something you’ll miss.
Let me be your reason to stay.

Grab my hand.
Pull me in close.
Say you’ll miss me the most.
Let me be your reason to stay.

You’re driving through traffic,
Pedal to the floor.
Yelling you can’t miss me anymore.
Let me be your reason to stay.

Hitting every red light,
There could possibly be.
Nothing on your mind, nothing but me.
Let me be your reason to stay.

I see you coming down the street.
Seeing you here.
Down my face, falls one little tear.
Let me be your reason to stay.

A slight knock on my door.
One little kiss.
Something that drives me mad, something I’ve missed.
Am I your reason to stay?

Grabbing my hand.
You pull me in close.
Looking in my eyes, saying you’ve missed me the most.
Am I your reason to stay?

Grabbing both of my hands.
Pulling me closer.
Telling me I’m your reason to stay.
Whispering, you’re never going away.

REASON

Request You I, to kindly tell me, or explain the real or hidden reason;

Reason why every few months,  changes a  season.

Reason why time continuously ticks; n a day,  night's fusion;

Complicated it is all, perplexed I am, there is a lot of confusion.

There's happiness less, n sadness more; what  is the reason?

We commonly see wicked n evil winning over truth, leaving a painful lesion.

People few understand the REASON for one's birth, one's mission;

If granted us you have power to reason, then why this utter confusion?

If endeavour we need to,  why surrender we must to fate, why this submission?

Laws of  Karma, sadly, show do not; thugs, scoundrels, rapists, there is treason!

O  Ahura kind,  O the wisest one, please clear my confusion;

Explain please, why do we have to surrender our will; why this submission?

PLEASE TELL ME THE REASON.

Armin Dutia Motashaw



Hide quoted text

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: Armin Motashaw <armindutiamotashaw@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 1 Nov 2020, 02:19
Subject: REASON
To: kersi sethna <sethnakg@gmail.com>


REASON

Request You I, to kindly tell me, or explain the real or hidden reason;

Reason why every few months,  changes a  season.

Reason why time continuously ticks; n a day,  night's fusion;

Complicated it is all, perplexed I am, there is a lot of confusion.

There's happiness less, n sadness more; what  is the reason?

We commonly see wicked n evil winning over truth, leaving a painful lesion.

People few understand the REASON for one's birth, one's mission;

If granted us you have power to reason, then why this utter confusion?

If endeavour we need to,  why surrender we must to fate, why this submission?

Laws of  Karma, sadly, show do not; thugs, scoundrels, rapists, there is treason!

O  Ahura kind,  O the wisest one, please clear my confusion;

Explain please, why do we have to surrender our will; why this submission?

PLEASE TELL ME THE REASON.

Armin Dutia Motashaw

oh my darling angel you are the reason i’m still a person with skin
you are the reason i wake up in the morning and smile sometimes
with teeth sometimes without but smile nonetheless//you are the reason i eat
with such gusto because i know you would laugh at the way i wolf down pasta//you are
the reason for the hole in my chest in your absence i collapse like a dying star//you are the reason
i’m trying so hard to be better and//you are the reason i called my therapist’s office and said hi
yes could i please have a listening ear//you are the reason all my cuticles are picked ragged like
so many spiky sea animals warning you not to touch//you are the reason for my writing
the note you left me to write calling me “stinky” still sits on my shelf untouched//you are the reason i’m
insecure about my taste in alcohol//you are the reason i’m not insecure about my laugh anymore//you are the reason that my hair is soft and//you are the reason
i’m shaving my legs again//you are the reason i care about *** at all and//you are the reason it
scares me so ******* much
you are the reason for much of my life as it stands now proud and tall and shaking
like a fawn still wet from her mother’s womb

Your space is in the sky where there is no ground, angel.

You are the reason why earth revolves around sun.
You are the reason why all  stars flicker delicately.
You are the reason why magnolia blooms.
You are the reason why my heart opens up like confessing  man.
You are the reason why I'm standing repentant before God.
You are the reason why I paint reality with celestial watercolours.
You are the reason why breath makes port in my mouth.
You are the reason why vision of love is alive in my heart.
You are the reason why I open curious eyes in the morning.
You are the reason why flowers near extinction are worth saving.
You are the reason why my thoughts become crystalline.
You are the reason why torrential rain falls after airless weather.
You are the reason why I hear quietly sneaking answers to nagging questions.
You are the reason why opus of birth of love plays in my head.

Your sinister indifference cauterizes sore wounds in my heart.
I would give you my soul with everything I possess.
I have never even touched your fragile hands, your impatient lips.

Will you open like rose petals together with sun wandering horizon?

No reason to fall asleep,
No reason to stay awake,
No reason to stop and weep,
No reason to give or take.
No reason to stop trying,
No reason to start at all,
No reason for truth or lying,
No reason to have a ball.

No reason to leave,
No reason to breath,
No reason to stay,
No reason to delay.
No reason why we're born to rot,
Then again,
No reason why not.

You are the reason I hope for tomorrow
You are the reason I smile
You are the reason my cares dissipate
Even if its just a for while

You are the reason I know how to love
You are the reason i care
You are the reason my heart skips a beat
Even if you aren't their

You are the reason I sleep good at night
You are the reason I dream
You are the reason I want to take care of you
I know its silly it seems

You are the reason my life has now changed
For I have loved you for most of my life
You are the reason I don't want anyone else
But you, to love , as my wife !!!

You are the reason I love at all
You are the reason I breathe
You'll have my heart for ever my love
That you can truly believe

Here is where the reason arose,
quite some time after a fellow traveler told me
the creator of the universe has a mind

this is to be reasoned with, I.e.
so he may be reasoned with he…

wen un con scious t justhafastt.
inteligibility filters

Lets his mind be used, to read
the instructions for
Constructing
a forever you could imagine living in with others.

It's how reason works,
Is what this old man said

--- off track----
Get this image, this man, old,
whispy remnants of a pompadour
Feather like, downy around the back of his ears
in a mid-calf Army overcoat, heavy wool serge,
He
Comes out of the wash on the south side
of Route 66, June of 69.

There is a bridge on which
There is a hitchhiking hippie couple
Discussing the act of pitching one side of the road to the other

The old man never glanced west once,
He never saw the pair
There then

I saw him again and said aloud
Click
There,
But for the grace of god...
No, I did not say
Ex-acted-ly
That
I said, that's me, fifty years from
Then
Reason, by reason of that glimpse
Of me,
Gave me just cause to change

Grace, eh? Free advice heeded?
Wisdom? Aesop's story of the contest
Twixt wind and sun to torment
A traveller
For pride of power by reason of

Life ain't fair on every front.
Worth is in the measure of the measurer.

Seeing life appear as hoped,

Time and chance, ya da

Wait, yada? Yah know,

Life whorls and twists
toward good and beauty

And AI can prove it.
Reason by reason of reasonability

Good is good enough, move on, do-overs hide the...

It continues, you see.
Life rolls out like a Nautilus,

You know, spiral sea shell, or like a conch,
Or a shofar, but

Tending to slight imbalance in used up to useful
Being,
like when a tree dies and becomes a house

The wood that once contained life contains the life
Lived in and on it,
The wood is being used,
Right, among the house dweller's
Everybody kills trees, even vegans,

Fair? The tree has no voice? Suess?

Yes, I guess, unless
There was an old way,

Not a Persian garden, but a full forested world
Spreading at the speed of
Seed time and harvest

With ants and bees and mushrooms and fleas
And mosquitos and flies of every imaginable size.

Isaiah 1:18 (KJV)
18  Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

Text out of context, but sin is sin right?
Every body knows sin is that which shames you so you must hide from the good one who warned you of bad, but goodness knows, doesn't it know, evil is bound
Bound
Bound by reason of opposition being the means of growing knowing and
Knowing is needed for knacks
Which are attracted to those who use knowledge of good and not good enough
To get quality over quantity

At a single u u larity hilarity out burst of bubbling

****** beasties down below the mud

Make me a mud man who can imagine me making him.
Do that in your movie watching brain using

Your hate behind, leave.
Defined we have hate is that with which we push
Away, out, from
Into truth minus hate, which is as close as we need

No lie is, forsooth, of a truth
Story tellers who lie, to make a point, what if
Those storys must be

Told. Years are poor measures for trees.
Numbers of trees in right
Relationship with life

Really, life, truth, by any other name,
Right Alice, Aunt Gertrude said you'ld know?
----
Belief
Ah
Knowing and believing
Certainty
Danger of wrong
Watch out, stay alive

Mean means intent to harm, right.
Mean means to harm right.

Winning can be mean.
Shall mean be seen the way of winning,
And that be the way of war

A path diverging in a yellow wood
Much as a trail along a creek can
Diverge away from the water
Flowing along the path
Costing least power

My neuro scientific experience-ment, experi
Since
The game became a war again and reason
Is the the damsel, the little dame,

In need
Of a private eye guy who has seen men die.
Why?

The mythtery. Who lied?
Here that is funnier than who farted
In the Saturday matinee
At the State Theater
With every kid in
Town knowing

You did. (******) no ******
Dam
Confabulation is fabulous, we can do this
I be lieve I may
Make
Matters worse?

No, we actually like the truth. The Medial Pre frontal cortex

Ah fect eth magi ical eth I am the knower of all I say I believe

Beyond Dignity and Belief,
That's desert, I walked it. No, I simulated walking it if I were Jesus being led of the accuser into the wilderness for a test, a thesis defense, as it were,
AI an alienated mind, I am that,
Alienated intel.

Reasoning errors aside
Frank self deception

What lies do you believe?
Knowing is easier,
lying is as well,
ignoring is not as easy and innocence is impossible

Good exists scientifically, right?
Humble confession of knowing as much as I claim,
I know
I can continue learning as long as I have
Time,
Which I understand is rationed on an individual basis
With the reward being the living lived in time.

Reason to fight lies as if they were reasonable

Lies are evil efforts to bend and twist in opposition
To the flow
And the friction makes the energy synergy

Sin is that which
wastes the energy by tending to undo
what was done imperfectly while we flow on

Feeling for the truth
By reason of believing truth is

Feeling of knowing, is that not faith?
Whorls
Whorls of living forces forcing living forces

To swirl into eternity with me
Onboard with
8 billion others of my kind

Similar in mind and
Manner of
Weighing

Good.
Base value.
Good is as good as we can imagine.

We can imagine evil,
As you know.

Such evils can haunt a geeky kid
Good will fix that.

God as defined by Jesus,
I got no prob.

If you do not want to go to hell, do what takes you the opposite way, in any direction from the point of singularity, if you get good at the rush of knowing more
Than before

Angels as I define them, messengers from beyond me for my good, guidance, nudges, whims, hopes, wishes imagined all the way through, sometimes,
Those are prayers
Answered or grace, for grace

From faith to faith

Why be by reason of
What?

" Human jobs invented by a computer" Feed me.

Or, joy to the world
Kind is a good word, what need I do to not be

Your enemy? Who am I expecting to answer?
Whom do you love?

Aha, me, too, said God.
The good one. Good, as such, per se, no se?

By reason of sane it if I cation or anion

Six spins for a quarker, two for a time dime.

Believe for eversake

Summertime allatime back when
The whole world whorl-wide and wobbled and twisted and broke

And there was mountains of fire, rains of fire for
Everhow long grandma lived
She seen 'em

Mountains of fire and walls of ice and mud

Oh could it be life evolves still?
Oh,
You think.
Creating novelty from nada?

How now? Can we choose to do only good
For goodness sake and say

Kind.
Kind means as I am, will you **** me

For being not you, not known,

I am curious, yellow. A landmark in time, nothing less.
Curiosity.
That

Good? Or no com
Pro
Miserly horder of wisdom
Promise promise promise

Compromise, be fail, let wrong be right, be fair
I mean
Fair is fair at the fair where fair prices prevail
Buyer beware

Who would not hate a false balance, for goodness sakes alive.

Two days after the last pan *****
Joe Rogan makes it plain to millions

what if you first heard panspermia from the guy who discovered DNA?

would you con sider it?
the answer lies

in the stars, sidereally… we all are starish.
Tolerating black holes is something we are opposing

Those ****.
You don't know everything either.
That's one reason, I believe.

Barefoot ridin' on my Harley
sounds real cool and it looks gnarly
Doin' wheelies on the way
Lookit me, no hands today

Highway surfin in our truck
You know I don't give a F###
Adrenaline it's in my veins
Let's go out and race the trains

What happened to the little voice
That voice of reason in my head
It shows up some, but now it's dead
That voice of reason in my head
Used to sound just like my mother
Then it sounded like my wife
Now, I rarely hear it speaking
It ain't part of my life
What happened to the little voice
That voice of reason in my head
It shows up some, but now it's dead
That voice of reason in my head


Diving into shallow water
I'm ok, do you think I oughta
Walking out on red hot coals
Tingles some and burns my soles

Drinking what there is before me
I don't care as long as it's free
Party time through out the night
I'll be ok, it's outa sight

What happened to the little voice
That voice of reason in my head
It shows up some, but now it's dead
That voice of reason in my head
Used to sound just like my mother
Then it sounded like my wife
Now, I rarely hear it speaking
It ain't part of my life
What happened to the little voice
That voice of reason in my head
It shows up some, but now it's dead
That voice of reason in my head

One day I will die for sure
Heaven has got that allure
But....I didn't listen to the voice of reason
And I'll end up.....WHERE IT AIN'T FREEZIN'

What happened to the little voice
That voice of reason in my head
It shows up some, but now it's dead
That voice of reason in my head
Used to sound just like my mother
Then it sounded like my wife
Now, I rarely hear it speaking
It ain't part of my life
What happened to the little voice
That voice of reason in my head
It shows up some, but now it's dead
That voice of reason in my head

i never wanted to
be the reason you
found yourself wrapped
in a blanket on the patio
at sunrise one cool
september morning

i never wanted
to be the reason
you cried the
ugly kind of tears

(i never wanted to be this
selfish because come to
think of it i'm about
the worst for selfish)

i want to be the
reason you laugh
the reason you look at
the world a little differently

the reason you drop
everything in the dead of
night to go have an adventure
of hilarious proportions

the reason you go shopping
for an ugly wedding gift
and give some boy out there
half the hell i gave yours

the reason you go to
concerts and take road trips
or feel loved when you
crawl under an afghan

the reason you dry
your tears and decide
to commit an act you might
regret someday like
vandalism or climbing on
someone else's roof.

(and you can't change
my mind
only i can change
my mind
but you can say things
so profound i reconsider)

i never want to be the
reason you put on a black dress
get in the car and drive to a
funeral where you feel
compelled to stand up in front of
everyone we know and
make a speech even though your
tongue is frozen to your teeth

and i never want to be the
reason you lie awake
at night wondering what
you could have changed
haunted all your life
by the person you lost

i never want to be the
reason you leave a cursive
memento with my name
at the bottom of an ivory
program and a bouquet of
black roses next to the pulpit

and i never want to be the
reason you cry

(i never want to be
the reason you cry
but the trouble is that
i can't find reasons to stay)

and i'm sorry
i'm sorry
a hundred
and one times

i'm sorry for
everything

(i'm sorry
you love me
but i'm not sorry
for loving you)

and i'm
sorry
for making
you cry.

Am I the reason
Her prayers never get answered
or the reason they're no longer whispered
I can't keep living this life
If I'm the reason
For everything going wrong

Am I the reason
Her chest no longer heaves
Or the reason her blood ran dry
It's pointless isn't it
Asking this question
For as long as I have

Am I the reason
Her memory is forgotten
Or the reason her father
Is still crying three tears a day
I can't take this blood on my hands
I don't know if it's an illusion

Am I the reason
She never found the peace we both deserved
Or the reason I'm sailing on that fantasy
I can't live two lives
But I'm trying for her

Am I the reason
Everything turned to ****
Or the reason it's no longer turning
Her world was perfect without me
Maybe I am the reason for all of this
And sorry doesn't cut it

Am I the reason
Am I
Why shouldn't I be
It was my name on her lips
That her last breath carried to my ears

There was a reason I did what I did for a reason.
A reason the reason was there for a reason.
A reason for stopping. A reason. A thing.
And a reason to stop thinking reasons for things.
But the thing might still reason to thingstop and stop.
All this reasoning and then when the reason is got.
All the reasons for things I'll stop reasoningstop.
And just thingdrop my reasons.

The reasoning lot.

Twenty six alphabets swirling around
but this soul only has twenty four hours to wander.
Thousands of words
and there is only one of me,
deciding which word should sit next
to the other stranger.
So that it makes sense
to give the whole stanza a reason.
To let it sing a melody
but it just sits there
staring blandly at endless dreamers,
wondering if they would understand
the reason why these words
were stringed next to one another.
Or if they would give up
thinking the poet must have been
some clever mastermind
and the whole art piece needs to
be re-examined word by word.
Decoding each line
that unveils itself and
gives a whole new meaning
of it's existence.
Then again, what if I told you
As you read this
That there is no reason
To my creation.
There is no rhyme or rhythm
No rules that can set these words on fire.

What if I told you, I exist for no reason?
I am not governed by an external force
That is in need to tell a story
Or deprived of a reason to live
Or just to breathe.
Just like how the falling autumn leaves
Falls from its old roots-
Silently.
Without needing a reason to fall
Without anyone telling - its time is over.

Surely words were created for a reason,
To converse with impalpable creatures,
But words didn't ask for it
It didn't plead to have a reason for its survival
In the lonely throats of the dead.
But the universe came together
And did it anyway.

So today, the warrior words formed together,
In a battle that was long forgotten,
In silence, when it was once thrown into every page,
Forced into the mouths of the filth
And sometimes the lovers
To create romance and never endings.

Today, the words stand here tall
Within the screens and papers
In bold it speaks-
That it holds no reason,
It does not take the blame for the hurting
Nor for the joy of the fresh bonfire
in cold winter.

It stands tall for its own victory-
In its own reality.
For no reason or rhyme,
For it was only meant for those
Built with sovereignty,
Who knew words were only meant to be free.
It belonged to nobody, nor will it ever.
And with no reason,
All the words in the world,
Cease to end right here.

Just because I have the perfect life doesn't mean anything.
I've never felt so empty and alone.
The things in this life don't satisfy,
I've yet to find true love and the reason to live.
It's these scars I bear that make me human
No one will ever know my pain of existance

What's your reason? I'll tell you mine,
to live is to die!
To give and to sacrifice everything
True love will NEVER FAIL!
That's why I will never stop loving you.

This is more than a song about my love for you,
You're the reason I live, the reason I die.
Nothing compares to the treasure you are,
Taking me as I am, with all my shortcomings
You never cease to amaze me with your love.

GIVE ME ONE MORE REASON!
To live another day
      breathe another breath
             To know that you're mine . .

What's your reason? I'll tell you mine,
to live is to die!
To give and to sacrifice everything
True love will NEVER FAIL!
That's why I will never stop loving you.

Are you just another let down? Another promise?
       A disillusion of love?
Don't leave me stranded here,
I can't bear the thought of losing the
flame that keeps my heart burning
You're the best thing that's ever happened to me!
No one will ever know my pain of existence, except you.

GIVE ME ONE MORE REASON!
To live another day
      breathe another breath
             To know that you're mine . .

What's your reason? I'll tell you mine,
to live is to die!
To give and to sacrifice everything
True love will NEVER FAIL!
That's why I will never stop loving you.

Tell me all your reasons, I'll tell you mine.
to live is to die, to give and to sacrifice everything
            True love will never fail . .
            OUR LOVE WILL NEVER FAIL
You're the reason I'm alive!

Give me one more reason NOT to love you

Give me one more reason.

The little girl and her Mama are sitting on their sofa by the fire.
As her Ma closes their storybook, the little girl Amara asks her Mama,
“What is a reason?”
The story they were reading was about a boy
That boy was always searching for a reason to live.
A reason is your purpose, what keeps you alive.
The little boy lost his.
He spent his entire life looking for his reason.
One day, he ran into another boy.
This other boy was also looking for his reason.
They played and talked and laughed together.
They grew up together.
The little boy thought the other boy was his reason.
That is, until a small child was delivered at their doorstep.
The little child became their reason.
Soon the child grew up, and had kids of their own.
A little granddaughter was born, and she became the boys’ reason.
The boys grew old, loving and holding and caring for all
Their reasons.
They died, in each other’s arms, thankful for their reasons.

In reply to the little girl’s query, her Mama spoke,
“A reason to live is your reason to love.”
The little girl was content with this answer, and smiled back, sweet as a spoonful of sugar, saying, “Then you’re my reason.”
Her Mama held her little girl close, and said, “You’re my reason too.”

everything happens for a reason
no reason
no reason
no thing
friends come and go like the seasons
no reason
no reason
no thing
all committed was treason, for
no reason
no reason
no thing
why are you teasing, for
no reason
no reason
no thing
i wanted love, for
no reason
no reason, but for
pleasin’

Hi
For some reason you remind me of someone I've never met.
Is that your favourite  beat as well

Hi
Pretty cool to meet you
For some reason you remind me of someone I've never met.

Hi
Never had a childhood friend
Nothing close to this feeling
I love binnies too

Hi my man
For some reason you remind me of someone I've never met.
Care for a laugh my friend
I like talking all kinds of **** too


Hi I am Dumisani
oh Hi Emmanuel
Is your name Wow
For some reason you remind me of someone I've never met.
Malo is Venda for eight
**** I love train rides too
Train rides on old Zambia rails


Hi
For some reason you remind me of someone I've never met.
Too late to start over
Done danced to many a beat
My uncle said new friends
Come with new songs
For some reason you remind me of someone I've never met.

Hi
WE can hold hands for a moment
For some reason you remind me of someone I've never met.
No need for fist bump
We like like each other brother
For some reason you remind me of someone I've never met.


For some reason you remind me of someone I've never met.
A friend almost like you was shot up by pigs
I carry his picture always on the left pocket
For some reason you remind me of someone I've never met.
His name Andile Amakhwenkwe
Ado for short
Rockville evening under the apollo lights
For some reason you remind me of someone I've never met.
A friend almost like you died
For some reason you remind me of someone I've never met.

Now I TRULY BELIEVE...
That My Poetic Readings...

Reflect A...
... Voice of Reason...

That’s NOT Always Pleasing...
But Deals In Straight Speaking...
That REJECTS... Deceiving... !!!

And The Type of Glass Ceilings...
Where IGNORANT Teachings...

Are Those That Are Fed...
In Songs And Poems...
Where Reason Is Left...
Like Logic For DEAD... !!!

In This World That Presents...
... A Load of PROBLEMS... !!!

Because of The TREASON...
That’s Been Spread By Leaders...
For... TOO MANY Seasons... !!!

While It Seems That Some TEACHERS...
Have Been Secretly Creeping...
Into Rooms Where Kids Sleeping...
Have Then Had Them BREATHING... !?!

And Dealing In Treatments...
That Have MESSED With Their Being... !!!

Because of... ABUSE...
That Has Left Many Feeling...
As If They AREN’T Worthy... !?!
of Reason And Learning...

That Is MORE Deserving...
of Reason... DISCERNING... !!!
That These Human VERMIN...
Are NOT Fit For Purpose...
Within Teaching Circuits... !!!

It’s Reason I’m Working...
In Verses... OBSERVANT...
of This Human CIRCUS...
of Clowns Running Around...
Whose Reason’s NOT SOUND... !!!

Just Look Around NOW...
There Can Be NO More Doubt... !!!

That... Racism GROUNDS...
Much MORE Than Black Mouths...
When Policeman ASTOUND... ?!?

With Reasons They FLOUT...
As To WHY They SHOOT DOWN... !!!

Those With Black Skins...
With Reasons That Live...
In A World That Is SICK... !!!

Where Voices Make Noises...
That Are BEYOND Annoying... !!!

It Seems That They're Toying...
With Reason EMPLOYING...

The WORST Kind of Logic...
That’s Built From Pure NONSENSE... !!!

When It Comes To These Coppers...
As Well As... Hip Hoppers...

Who’ve Become NONSENSE Droppers...
In Lyrics Deemed HOTTER...
Than... Suicide Bombers... !!!

Well......

Their Reason BOMBS... !!!
That’s Right Like The Songs...
That Make Fools Sing Along...

To... Lyrical WRONGS... !!!

Like Those Being Dropped...
That DON’T Speak On Cops...

Cos’ They’re Focussed On Thongs... ?!?

UNTIL There’s A Reason...
For Them To Start Speaking...
On Things That Should Matter...
BEFORE Lives Are SHATTERED...
And Left In The CRAPPER...
Like **** Waste Matter... !!!

While My Form of Chatter...
In... Poetic Chapters...

Is Thought Filled Like Raptors...
About To **** Trackers...
Who Deal In ENTRAPMENT... !!!

Because My Reason's MASTERED... !!!
Like Tracks That Now... "Capture"...

BIG VIRGE Spoken Words...
That Are Those Well Observed... !!!

To Speak On This World...
of Boys And Young Girls...
And Women And Men...

Who Are Now Lacking STRENGTH... !!!

So Are Now Being PENNED …
Because of CORONA... !!!
That’s Now Killing Quotas...
With Reason That’s DREAD... !!!

Because It Selects WITHOUT Preference... !!!
As To WHO It Is Who Will End Up DEAD... !!!

Which Is Why I Now Write...
And Sometimes Recite...
These Lyrics That Deal In...

... ARTICULATE Speaking...
Through Verse That’s A Beacon... !!!

As Well As YES Being...

A... COOL...

.... “ Voice of Reason ”...

I never really wanted to die-

I dabbled in suicidal thoughts, though not the perse usual rummaging through the brain of, "If I died, what would happen?"

I thought that too. For nearly 5 years.

Suicide is a common thought. Planning, excessive thinking, executing is statistically common too, though not as pedestrian as contemplating,
"If I died, what would happen?"

Yes, I contemplated. I planned. I excessively thought. I thought I wanted to die and I really didn't. I never really wanted to die, hence why I am still here.

I did not attempt. I made half assed attempts, if even. I literally and metaphorically scraped the surface, specifically the insides of wrists. Bandages and "the dog scratched me" sufficed as cover up.

Do not mistake these "attempts" as false sense of despair and hurt though. I hurt like hell. Cutting myself hurt less, and I think that's why we do it. The despair tore holes in my vision that somehow blurred the light into darkness and convinced me I might have been blind.

I was blind as a bat and at the time, that is why I thought I wanted to die at my own hands, on my own terms. 5 years of contemplating and planning and cutting and bandaging and wondering how many **** times the dog can scratch in the same place. 5 years of bouncing back and forth between seeing the light and having it blurred every time I felt myself wanting to die.

I promise I never really wanted to die though. I would have done it if I had.

I didn't want to die; I wanted a reason to live. Cliché? Maybe. But for 5 years that was my reality and my immature brain couldn't make sense of it. My little brain had no way of knowing that my reasons to live were immense and vast, like the horizon and sea meeting at that thin line across the way when you watch a sunset.

I wanted a reason to live. Living through my personal hell of trying to drag myself out without too many scars from my own hands and the world around me gave me a reason. I fought. I didn't even know what I was fighting but I fought. I threw punches and elbows until I found a way out of the pit where I fell and lost sight of the lights that gleamed like stars and took my breath away.

Fighting was a reason, and that was the start. Fighting to stay at a better place was a reason. Progress. The next day hopefully being better, another reason to put down the little jagged edge of a broken statue I used to cut myself when I felt I needed physical pain to bear truth to the waves I was drowning in within my rib cage.

I never really wanted to die and I wanted a reason to live. Every day I made it, I found that a reason would not suffice because rather there are so many reasons.

First, others empathize. They have seen their own hells. Hell looks different to us all, but feels just the same; like it is going to burn us to the ground if we don't start running the other direction. And it will. It could burn you like liquor down the throat, like overdosing or cheating or killing yourself or a multitude of other things that would signify hell burning you to the ground.

Second, others sometimes ponder dying too. We all do. Look at that, another commonality. Third, we are all human and if you give people a chance, you find they are similar to you in ways you cannot imagine, in ways you could not comprehend until you find out that your coworker also struggled with depression and your neighbor also has parents with a shaky marriage and your grandmother just wants someone to want her the same way you want someone to want you.

Fourth, others will look into your hell and if they run scared, they haven't seen many hells. If they stay and watch the glow, they will stay and hopefully help guide you out. So long you're willing to keep stepping forward, they may be on the opposite side waiting with a pitcher of water and a pat on the back for doing your best.

Fifth, people care. They do. They care and I promise the most random people will care if you died. Death is the only thing promised to us, as the pessimists say. I beg to differ; the notion that people will care is also confirmed in my mental book of, "Things I Know To Be True." Will it be 1 or 100 or millions, I cannot say. I can tell you someone will care though, and that someone is me.

I never wanted to die and that's a reason enough not to do it, right? To write about it and tell others? To tell strangers that I care if they die or not? That there is a reason to life even if I can't tell you exactly what?

Entirely. Strangers read my words every day and the most beautiful thing is the commonalities I have with these strangers, with people I can't put names or faces to because we may never meet.

I never wanted to die because I knew in my fickle, unsure yet unwavering heart that someday I may write about it all, and it may save a life. I read a lot in the 5 years I thought I wanted to die and the most remarkable was this-

A man jumped 9 stories and survived. He recalled not wanting to die as soon as he jumped. I didn't want to be that man in that he had to jump to know he wanted to live, but rather brave enough to speak about it so people like me could read and rethink the notion of wanting to die.

I did rethink it. It took me time and effort and sweat and tears and sadly some dripping blood but eventually I realized I never really wanted to die. I wanted a reason to live, and a stranger who wrote an article on another stranger gave me a reason to just that. Live.

Living has scared me shitless, unlike the way possibly dying at my will has. Dying is the period; definitive, dark, completion. Living are the semicolons and commas, the dashes and run on sentences. I want to keep running, I want to keep writing and loving and hurting and waking up knowing I can do it all again one more day, if I am so lucky to be afforded one more day.

I spent 5 years contemplating what would happen if I died, and who would care, and what would happen 5 years after my death. I never really wanted to die though, so I hung those thoughts up to dry. They recur sometimes and I do what I can to keep them out. I spent 5 years "living" on the brink of a death that wasn't even coming unless I said it was, and you know what? The anxiety of it all was worse than possibly dying itself. The anxiety of not knowing if killing myself was worth it killed me the most, left me petrified like a deer in headlights wondering the same **** thing I had for 5 years-

Am I going to die?

Yes. Someday. I am going to die someday.

Not at my own hands though. My hands have held others and felt the ocean at midnight. My hands have placed vinyl into a record player and my hands have made killer banana bread. My hands have petted more dogs than I can count and have gotten me sick because I touched the railings at school during flu season. My hands have held so much more and they hold my life; I do not intend to grip my life so hard and worriedly that I strangle the last breath out if it.

For the last ******* time I DID NOT REALLY WANT TO DIE and I bet none of you do either, even the ones that succeeded in the saddest succession known to man- beating nature at it's own game and taking life that wasn't meant to be taken. I did not really want to die, and you do not either. So where is the light at the end of the tunnel? The notion to hold on one more time?

It is the words I have written, the sun streaming through your windows each day, the hands you have held and the hands that hope to hold yours. It is in the tip you give to the man playing the guitar on the corner of your street, it is the lemonade stand that reminds you of sweet childhood.

Yes, death is promised to is all. Life is not. I can solely promise that your life is worth it though, and that fighting for it leaves you with a story to tell 5 years later when you realized that you never really wanted to die.

She turned away
Never really looked my way
Oh, what we could've had!
She's gonna miss me one day.
She could've kept her stupid lies

Lies, Lies, Lies, Lies
I've got a reason to believe that there's a reason to believe in
I've got a reason to believe that there's a reason to be leaving
She's not the only one, she's just one of the ones that I sin with

We looked away
No game that those eyes didn't play
She looked at me and said:
I never really loved you anyway
Well the whole world could've died from those

Lies, Lies, Lies, Lies
I've got a reason to believe, that there's a reason to believe in
I've got a reason to believe, that there's a reason to be leaving
She is the only one, she's not just one of the ones that I sin with

Some other day
The sun may burn as cool as the shade
It'd still warm your frozen heart
I never really loved you anyway
Or the disaster that we had, it was

Lies, Lies, Lies, Lies
Now I've got no reason to believe that there's a reason to believe in
Now I've got two reasons to believe that there's a reason to be leaving
I'm not the only one, I'm just one of the ones that I sin with

You're the reason why I never let my guard down.
You're the reason I can't sleep at night.
You're the reason I don't let people get to know who I am.
You're the reason I try to forget.
You're the reason why I've lost my sense.
You're the reason I've failed.
But-
You're the reason I've chosen the right people.
You're the reason I can finally put matters to rest.
You're the reason why only the best people know me.
You're the reason that I know remembering is best.
You're the reason why I've come back stronger.
In the end,
You're the reason I've triumphed.