I sit upon my shore.
Ignoring the fact,
That I've made a pact.
That I would leave no instrument on it's shelf.
I think to myself.
Of that one sound so ripe.
Gosh, I want myself a bagpipes.
*Aren't bagpipes weird?*
No, owning a bagpipes wouldn't be weird.
*Yes it would.*
Oh? That's your opinion.
*They're pretty lame.*
Seriously. Bagpipes are cool.
Don't even try to argue. Give in to the pipes.
No. Be silent. Let the bagpipes envelop you.
*Where are you even from? Is this normal there?*
The land of bagpipes. Where I am home.
*So you're from Scotland?*
No. I need a bagpipes. So I will be home.
**Curtains behind unleash 10,000 bagpipes.**
*OH GOD. Why do you have so many bagpipes!?*
They are my brethren.
*They're just sitting there bro.*
*I am home.*
I don't even know why I wrote that. but it occupied me. Good day.
When I hear those Bagpipes roar,
My heart begins to soar.
Frozen in my tracks,
My mind wanders back.
To a piper I once knew
Whose heart was pure and true.
He played those pipes like angels sing,
I often wondered, "Where are his wings?"
Those bagpipes casted a spell on me,
And that Irish lad's face is all I could see.
I used to weep when those pipes would sound,
Because for the moment my lost heart felt found.
See, that piper is the strongest man I ever met,
But because my heart was immature, I was'nt ready for him yet.
As years pass by, this broken heart has begun to heal.
Yet as soon as I hear those faithful pipes, my heart starts to feel.
Time has a way of putting our mistakes far in the past,
But I have to accept that Celtic sound will forever last.
So when you see that kilt and bearskin come marching in the room,
Do as I do 'listen' and soon your heart will bloom.
For those bagpipes serve a bigger role then i ever knew, That thunderous sound can only come from a select few.
And behind one of those pipes, stands a beautiful man, but he never notices I'm his biggest fan.
Early morning message
Like when teachers give textbook assignments
Knowing the solutions are in the back
Doesn’t matter how you learn
Show up on time with the answers
What a rocking knock
A clock to the jaw
One just did
Listen, you can hear it
are you even capable of love?
you're unquenchably disgusting, horrible.
when i see you, i want to kiss you
and punch you in the face.
(all in the same breath.)
you could never love me as i love you.
i am numb, numb to all you say.
i 'love' you, but you...
you are the most pathetic worm i have ever seen.
crawling for attention, vying for every girl's affection.
you're (i'm) an idiot
for ever dreaming of you and i.
have i gotten too good at pretending?
(there's no such thing as being too good.)
spit me out as though i was an afterthought.
you chewed up my heart and i
expect nothing in return.
(not even your love.)
1, 1 KRISPY KREME ORIGINAL GLAZED
2, 2 KRISPY KREME CHOCOLATE COOKIE CRUNCH
3, 3 KRISPY KREME RASPBERRY CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE
4, 4 KRISPY KREME PEANUT BUTTER KREME
5, 5 KRISPY KREME CHOCOLATE DREAMCAKE
6, 6 KRISPY KREME CHOCOLATE FUDGE CAKE
7, 7 KRISPY KREME STRAWBERRY GLOSS
8, 8 KRISPY KREME STRAWBERRIES & KREME
9, 9 KRISPY KREME CARAMEL ICED
10, 10 KRISPY KREME CARAMEL CRUNCH
11, 11 KRISPY KREME CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES
12, 12 KRISPY KREME GLAZED RASPBERRY
Don't go yet, children. This is a Bakers Dozen!
13, 13 KRISPY KREME LEMON MERINGUE PIE
The Count walks into a bar.
The bartender says,
‘What will you have?’
The Count says,
2, 2 beers,
3, 3 beers…
At the 26th beer the bartenders getting a bit annoyed.
Then Kermit walks into the bar,
The Mechanical Wind-up TV Show Host
The Mexican Hat Dancers
Molly and Melville
The Muppet Show stagehand
The Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly
Old Skyball Paint
Otto the Automatic Entertainer
Prunella and Her Prancing Poultry
Punch and Judy Puppets
Richmond the Horse
Rizzo the Rat
Robin the Frog
Rowlf the Dog
Abe and Bernie
Alfredo and Hildegard
Alice in Wonderland characters
Alligators and Crocodiles
Andy Williams Muppets
Armstrong the Chicken Hawk
Baby Koozebanian Creatures
Banana Nose Maldonado
Baskerville the Hound
Beautiful Day Monster
Bertha Beasley and Her Galloping Geese
Big Tiny Tallsaddle
Billy the Bear
The Bouncing Borcellino Brothers
Humpty Dumpty (Muppet Show)
J. P. Grosse
The Tokyo Tai-Chi, Karate, and Chowder Society
Japanese Pole Vaulters
Jar of Orange Marmalade
John Cleese's Agent
Juliet Prowse Muppet
Kermit the Pig
Kermit the Protozoa
The Lautrec Sisters
Lenny the Lizard
The Leprechaun Brothers
Les, Lee and Warren
Lesley and Warren
Lola the Fan Dancer
Lolita the Chicken
Lottie Lemon and her Singing Wig
Lubbock Lou and his Jughuggers
Luncheon Counter Monster
Male Koozebanian Creature
The March Hare
Martha and George
The Martins and the Coys
Mean Mama's Baby
The Bun-Bun Brothers
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
Bust of Beethoven
Camilla the Chicken
The Country Trio
The Dancing Clown
The Dancing Sacks
The Dancing Sponges
Doctor (Muppet Show)
Dr. Julius Strangepork
Dr. William Edgar
Elton John's Lunch
Eric the Parrot
Eric the Yodeling Clam
The Falling Alfonsos
Fat Mamma Jefferson
Feather Boa Constrictor
The bartender says,
‘What am I on, Sesame Street? Where’s the hidden camera?’
Then suddenly all of the Sesame Street characters burst into song.
The bartender is getting more and more pissed off and yells,
‘This ain’t a fucking England pub. We’re in New York. So stop ya' mewling!’
The bartender examines the crowd and says,
‘Hey, where’s Jim Henson?’
The Cookie Monster says,
‘He’s at the Starbucks on 72nd Street having a latte.’
The bartender walks into Starbucks and sees Henson sitting at one of the tables. He was hard to spot because he was having a Frappuccino.
The bartender takes out his baseball bat and smashes it across Jim Henson’s head.
Henson’s on the floor grabbing his head in excruciating pain and says,
‘Why the hell did you do that for!???’
The bartender says,
‘I know it was you behind this prank.
They’re just your fucking Muppets.’
I know y'allz just skimmedp through the muppet list ~ but how may of you spotted that I stuck Beryldov on the list?
If ya' did, congratulations. You're my new accountant.