Spouting [10w]s all day makes me feel like a faucet.

Allen Wilbert
Allen Wilbert
May 5, 2014

screaming in pain
cleaning her drain
it was very clogged
I am very logged
loved my plumbers crack
she gave my ass a smack
faucet beginning to leak
from the point of the peak
ended up in bed
she gives good head
wanted bill to be free
told me during my morning pee
I said you lost your mind
so I poked her from behind
how about half price
she said sorry no dice
please free she would beg
as she played with my third leg
running wild was my imagination
you could feel my frustration
after the plumbing was all done
it turned out she was a nun

Mari Gee
Apr 12, 2012

i am the piper
cept my pipes are
a bit rusty

out of tune

its too late for monthly checkups

but you never seem to mind

but you see the only reason they are
so worn out
is because i sing my melody
as loud and beautiful as I can
every time we do the dance of passion

no, they can't be rusty
i've serenaded so many other women before you
that can't be

your melody is sweet, pure, harmonious
but of course, you've only just started

you make me feel like an old man
whose pipes have seen generations
i almost feel bad serenading such a pure heart

but i know what will happen
you will leave me soon
yes, I know from our passion dances that you
love me
but when you find another whose music is sweeter
more pure than my coarseness
i promise
you will love him more

its only a matter of time...

Wack Tastic
Wack Tastic
Nov 14, 2013

Watching strange scenes,
On a fabricated screen,
I did not know where I ended,
And the vision,

Sep 29, 2012

Words flow no longer a trickling drip

but the raging Mississippi with that

dream steamboat demotic.

It is good and I am whole.

The spirit is alive

and flows from these enlivened fingertips.

I am my own and this energy will be harvested.

I will storm and I will rage from dawn

Through the twinkling night.

Of the plumbing profession?
Francie Lynch
Francie Lynch
Sep 22, 2014

Strange question indeed,
So I asked one and all;
Explain to me:
“What's a plumber's ball?”

Family and friends
Heeded my call,
But none could confine,
Refine or define it,
Yet Paul was sure
He could design it.

Still, none could satisfy
My caterwaul:
“What the hell is a plumber's ball?”

Does it sweat the pipe
Or wiggle the snake:
Can it clamp the nipple
For Heaven's sake?
Could it snap on the cock-hole cover?
All these queries
Made me wonder.

Has it something to do
With hardness leakage,
Or screwing the ball-cock
To stop a seepage?
Has it anything to do
With a saddle valve dripping,
Electric eels,
Or two pipes mating?
And, I heard of male and female fittings,
And should I worry
If I'm standing or sitting?

If you're discharging the head
Or elongating the pipe,
Does the plumber's ball
Help it snug tight?
Is it in my tank,
Or in my bowl,
Beneath the floor
Near the drainage hole?
Is the plumber's ball
In the back of the truck
(Jeff laughed and said
One could rub it for luck).

I asked Michel
If he could tell,
He sensed it was something
He could smell.
I sought out Ray,
Perhaps he'd know,
But he was on call
To restrain a back-flow.
I couldn't ask Gary
For his wisdom and sense,
He was wigglin' the snake
To unclog a wet vent.
Henry, Rick, Scotty and Brian,
Gave shameless answers
I couldn't rely on.

It's not a crapper, tail piece
Or Johnnie-bolt,
Or catch basin, reamer,
O-ring or pipe dope.
So I searched the Net
With a fool's wonder,
And read of ball-checks,
Gas cocks and plungers.
I know it's too late
To ask Rolly or Ross,
For both of them knew,
And that's our loss.
And Ernie's gone golfing
So I can't ask the Boss.

With final resolve
I fell to my knees,
To pray St. Ferrer
With grace intercede.
His silence left me
In a state of depression;
Had Ferrer washed his hands
Of the plumbing profession?

So nothing could settle
My wherewithal,
I still didn't know,
What's a plumber's ball?

Suddenly, it hit me,
He's never wrong,
The Dalai Lama of dip-tubes,
I'll ask John.
Where others did falter,
John's a rock:
He knows the difference
Between a gas and ball cock.

With a knowing smile
He embraced our Hall:
Here, good friend, is your Plumbers' Ball.

Penned for the occasion of  Saucier Plumbing and Heating 79th anniversay Ball.
Rolly and Ross were the original owners.
St. Ferrer is the patron saint of plumbing.
If you have such an event to attend, feel free to modify the above.

I was three , no bigger than a west Texas tumbleweed . . . just three .

My mother hung the wash out on the line
and wiped the sweat off her brow with her hand .
Half an hour later the clothes were frozen .
Blue Norther . . . you can see them coming
a hundred miles away .
Wichita Falls , Texas . . . on the Wichita river .

Moses sat on a mountaintop gazing at the promised land but it was out of his hands now .
Leaning on his staff , the one that ate the Pharoh's two serpents . . . sssssssilently a single tear falls to the ground .

No fence could hold me . . . I was over or under in seconds .
A terror at three , a potential runaway .
The police knew me by first name  . . . just three .
The plains of North Texas , jackrabbits , coyotes , rattlesnakes and all . . . were home .

Forty years of desert wilderness ,
till the last man , woman , and child of Egyptian connection had died ,
. . . . . . was such a sacrifice made . . . . . .
Moses was the last to fall .
On a mountaintop of no consequences .

      "Run Rabbit Run"

And my heart has outdoor plumbing
Chris Fracc

Tractor like a wagon
I'm falling off
One last tread
They don't make em like that anymore
Sycamore spoke
A Spector  awoke
This song ain't potable for regular folk
You need a little help friend
Maybe a little more
Pastor trashed in my pasture
Crashed his Cadillac
At my door
GPS mislead him to his master
Imagine that
Bastard but with a father
I'm tinder
Red hot ember, from what I remember
I wasn't the fire starter
But where there's smoke there's truth
And my eyes burn like a tire
Aroma familiar
Familial attire
Flannel and denim
Divining rod in hand search for my center
Masonic treasure seekers
Peace keepers alike
have searched the landscape
I've handed out mineral rights
The surface scarred
Interior plundered, left nothing
Put on a jacket when I give a shit
It's winter
And my heart has outdoor plumbing

You're guess is as good as mine
ignores the grid of labyrinthine plumbing
Daniel A Russ
Jul 4, 2010

Weird smell in the bathroom.

I'm pretty sure it's coming
from behind the toilet.

It expands up past tile floors
ignores the grid of labyrinthine plumbing
to drift
around long-past-cast-porcelain
wall-panels asynchronous by decades
ignoring the mirror more murky than coherent
and into my sensory network
as I add to the problem.

with bad plumbing
Mar 4, 2014

you cry
like the sky on a slate day
the world is a tsunami of
coffee and dusty light
and crumpled pillows.
my life is a studio apartment
with bad plumbing
I need you
I am a plastic bag
I miss your green luminescence

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