The anger doesn't go away
No one makes the anger what it is
It's just something that has always been there
The energy of the universe
Unable to be created or destroyed
As dictated by the first law of thermodynamics
So it is
So it changes
So it converts between people
Anger projected and harnessed
And eventually a build up of anger so big
Released so violently in a human reaction
It's always there and it's always in me
Just a potential anger so easily triggered by the surrounding world
They call me short tempered, but really
I am an exergonic reaction
Spontaneous with a small amount of activation energy
To release my anger onto the world around me
Leaving me drained of energy until more potential stores within me
Like it always does
I'm cracking up
Like rotten eggs
Like seven years
Of shitty luck
Like old mosaics
Across my windshield
Into the ether
Each one taking
Part of me
I'm cracking up
Like cheap ceramics
And then replaced.
it would be a lot easier to rearrange my atoms,
reform the chemical compounds that make up
a teenage girl barricaded in her bedroom,
to send myself back into being stardust and sand.
when the universe was created, i'm sure,
did the swirling subatomic particles ever think
they would end up here, beating at the bones
of someone sad-eyed and shaky-handed,
screaming let us out, let us out, let us out?
they are not the only ones going unheard.
let me out,
let me out,
let me out.
I have always been
And will always be.
Nothing created or
destroyed, You see.
inside us all.
Star stuff makes up
this tiny blue ball.
directing the course
energy and matter's
Always in flux.
I'm still here,
and that is the crux.
Do not be sad,
nor shed a tear.
I simply changed states,
I will always be near.
So say your goodbyes
to this one incarnation,
And know it isn't over,
here, but not.
more than one shot.
It never ends,
we will always be
in different forms
that's our reality.
Oh, pity, pity him
For whom the universe speaks
Yet only of futility;
Who only sees the second law of thermodynamics
All suns dying of a slow, slow death,
Who sees the nebula only as a splintered sphere
The big bang before its final whimpering!
Oh pity him who cries,
“The world is dew,
If all that rules the universe
Is chance, mere chance,
Why sing a lullaby for a new born babe?
Why rage against the dying of the sun?
Oh weep, weep for him
For whom the firmaments proclaim
No god at all,
Not even man!
“The heavens proclaim the glory of God…”
I wish I could greet death
Like a svelte Russian KGB agent
With bright red lipstick and a menthol
Dangling from my mouth
Leaning against a brick wall
But in reality
I will greet death like a newborn infant
Alone in the world until it meets the eyes
Of its mother
I will greet death
Hiding under a desk
With the barrel of a gun pointed at my face
Wondering when was the last time I told my mother I loved her.
I will greet death like a naïve university student
Learning about entropy
Did you know,
There’s a law of thermodynamics which states entropy is
What the universe is constantly moving towards
Energy resolving itself into a more probable arrangement
Like the moment it all clicked together
My universe, my body, my system
All shifting to a more probable arrangement,
that is Death.
the first law of thermodynamics speaks: energy cannot be created nor destroyed
hypothetically, there must be some type of energy created between two people
though this winter has lasted a few years, natural vagabonds are asunder, seeking warmth
for years, we were condemned to search for that other half of us to keep us alive
we want someone who will grab our shoulders at the edge of a steep cliff
we want someone who will appreciate the small things, like drinking tea together
if our atoms bisect and travel alone someday, i want to know i felt that fear of love
that loss is the kindest of suicides, it empties the entrails which scatters through the walls
and the ribcage grows a garden of dead plants and a unlimited drought occurs
god knows when the clock will stop ticking in my chest and my soul goes west
Sometimes I spit
To let the saliva
On my lips
Its stupid cold
A cold of the kind
That effects the synapses
Of the mind
So cold the the very molecules
Experience a slowing of time
Cold so that the frozen ground
Refuses to accept
The burial shroud
A kind of cold
Dreamt of in nightmares
Far more distant from ours
And still the saliva
Moist on my lips
A defiant middle finger
Shouting damn physics
Damn the evidence
Nothing can be as real and limiting as this
Biology at war with
The law of thermodynamics
A molecular battle to exist
And still the cold persists
they call this mad science.
a socket for your two-pronged charger
bright bounding bolt that sparked in my raincloud
raging radiation leaking from my core-shaking meltdown
lovely little life source of my
lovely little town
you just need a generator
all I learned in chemistry is how to cheat
I don’t get thermodynamics
but you look like a heat lamp
get inside of me.
we need to harvest this power
before big government finds out
& steals all the energy for themselves
turn it into a sweatshop or a car factory or some drill rig
searching the ocean floor for dead dinosaurs
to power all man-made things
all man-made things doomed for obsolescence
glorious in their rape of the sea
it’s pathetic the way we are all asking for it
no one will find us.
you stay hidden inside
no one will find us inside of me
get inside of me & never come out
get inside of me now
I’ll sew you up good
rip you back out
when the bay needs an electrical storm
frighten the pirates into conceding
it’s God or the gold, men
some maniac needs an impromptu electrocution
before he grabs that girl’s collar
slices her on the orange shag carpet
on his way to Missouri
they call this something like
you’re the only electric eel in the sea
I see smacking on deck
I’m anemic & mercury deficient
they call this the rule of proximity.