The anger doesn't go away
No one makes the anger what it is
It's just something that has always been there
The energy of the universe
Unable to be created or destroyed
As dictated by the first law of thermodynamics
So it is
So it changes
So it converts between people
Anger projected and harnessed
And eventually a build up of anger so big
Released so violently in a human reaction
It's always there and it's always in me
Just a potential anger so easily triggered by the surrounding world
They call me short tempered, but really
I am an exergonic reaction
Spontaneous with a small amount of activation energy
To release my anger onto the world around me
Leaving me drained of energy until more potential stores within me
Like it always does
I'm cracking up
Like rotten eggs
Like seven years
Of shitty luck
Like old mosaics
Across my windshield
Into the ether
Each one taking
Part of me
I'm cracking up
Like cheap ceramics
And then replaced.
it would be a lot easier to rearrange my atoms,
reform the chemical compounds that make up
a teenage girl barricaded in her bedroom,
to send myself back into being stardust and sand.
when the universe was created, i'm sure,
did the swirling subatomic particles ever think
they would end up here, beating at the bones
of someone sad-eyed and shaky-handed,
screaming let us out, let us out, let us out?
they are not the only ones going unheard.
let me out,
let me out,
let me out.
On a swing sat a girl.
She sat, and she sang.
Cars drove about,
A telephone rang.
The usual noises
Went through the town
As the girl kept swinging
Upwards and down.
Then the swingset was empty
And nothing was heard
But the creak of the swing
And the caw of a bird.
I have always been
And will always be.
Nothing created or
destroyed, You see.
inside us all.
Star stuff makes up
this tiny blue ball.
directing the course
energy and matter's
Always in flux.
I'm still here,
and that is the crux.
Do not be sad,
nor shed a tear.
I simply changed states,
I will always be near.
So say your goodbyes
to this one incarnation,
And know it isn't over,
here, but not.
more than one shot.
It never ends,
we will always be
in different forms
that's our reality.
it is just enough,
too many in depth lessons.
pain always asks for something,
fear has run out of options,
joy wears light dresses
loneliness refuses dinner,
despair sits at a crossroad.
these are just contours of events
obliterating "the vital impetus"
as in a probabilistic game
or in the second law of thermodynamics
blissful equilibrium is just a special retreat
some form of inner spacial homogeneity
this is just a moment
before dinner is served
on a peaceful evening
by a lake
catching the last rays
of the singing sun
Oh, pity, pity him
For whom the universe speaks
Yet only of futility;
Who only sees the second law of thermodynamics
All suns dying of a slow, slow death,
Who sees the nebula only as a splintered sphere
The big bang before its final whimpering!
Oh pity him who cries,
“The world is dew,
If all that rules the universe
Is chance, mere chance,
Why sing a lullaby for a new born babe?
Why rage against the dying of the sun?
Oh weep, weep for him
For whom the firmaments proclaim
No god at all,
Not even man!
“The heavens proclaim the glory of God…”
I wish I could greet death
Like a svelte Russian KGB agent
With bright red lipstick and a menthol
Dangling from my mouth
Leaning against a brick wall
But in reality
I will greet death like a newborn infant
Alone in the world until it meets the eyes
Of its mother
I will greet death
Hiding under a desk
With the barrel of a gun pointed at my face
Wondering when was the last time I told my mother I loved her.
I will greet death like a naïve university student
Learning about entropy
Did you know,
There’s a law of thermodynamics which states entropy is
What the universe is constantly moving towards
Energy resolving itself into a more probable arrangement
Like the moment it all clicked together
My universe, my body, my system
All shifting to a more probable arrangement,
that is Death.