6 year old me knows better than me now,
She told me how;
The future heaven is,
Singing in the rain is paradise.
SPIRIT and HEART
to go THE DISTANCE so...
People try to change you.
Take the PROS and
Live your LIFE
enjoy it 'till the day you
I guess it was easier then...
"Mom, why do you put that hot sauce on everything"?
"Because I like the flavor that it gives to most of my food."
"Do you want to try a little bit"?
(spit) " yukkk, it's too spicy and hot!"
"I know" (laughing)
"Do we have any cold sauce"?
i bet your pretty disgusted with me right now.
i never thought i'd be getting drunk
or even high.
but it's just what happens when the first heartbreak happens.
or your first party
your first suicidal thought
i'm writing to say i'm sorry for disappointing you
i'm sorry i went down the path you wouldve never picked
i'm sorry for growing up so sick and twisted.
because i wish i stayed six and innocent
I'm still that 6 year old curious little kid
I'm still that 6 year old Asian looking short hair hyper little kid
I'm still that 6 year old confused about why people act the way they do little kid
I'm still that 6 year old opinionated little kid
I'm still that 6 year old innocent kid that knows a bit more than they should
I'm still a fragile 6 year old
I'm still that ...
So why do you treat me like I'm an adult ?
An optimistic 6 year old girl with the whole world in front of her.
A crying 8 year old wishing her parents would hug her.
A damaged nine-year-old hoping for a bedtime story.
A changed 11 year old learning that it'll never be okay.
A broken 13 year old looking for an exit.
An angry 15 year old with a bag packed at her side.
A bitter 16 year old lost past the point of return.
A determined 18 year old ready to fly.
A recovering 19 year old seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.
A strong 21 year old seeing the whole world for the first time.
I would have told my 5 year old self,
Don't cut your hair behind the couch.
I would have told my 6 year old self,
She becomes really annoying.
I would have told my 7 year old self,
Stop trying to please everyone.
I would have told my 8 year old self,
No, don't be friends with him. He'll hurt you.
I would have told my 9 year old self,
Please please don't get your hair cut.
I would have told my 10 year old self,
That girl is a backstabber.
I would have told my 11 year old self,
Cheating in school isn't cool.
I would have told my 12 year old self,
Men are so gross, just be friends for now.
I would have told my 13 year old self,
Being a teen isn't fun. Don't get your hopes up.
I would have told my 14 year old self,
Seriously, cheating in school sucks.
I would have told my 15 year old self,
HE IS A JERK OKAY? NO. JUST NO.
I would have told my 16 year old self,
What are you doing with yourself? Think about it.
I would have told my 17 year old self,
It'll be over soon. I promise.
And I tell myself now,
It's okay to cry sometimes.
I've accepted that this is my life and this is my body and this is my broken heart and this is my future
I've accepted that this is my life and even though I've let 6 year old me down I can't keep trying to change things in my life and I need to keep going to not let 20 year old me down
I've accepted that this is my body and even though 6 year old me was touched and tortured and the past 14 years have been nothing but a chain of things I never knew were possible and a chain of feelings I never knew I could feel
I've accepted that this is my broken heart and even though it's hard to feel emotions these days, i have to keep going for that little girl who had big dreams and never knew that you could actually not like yourself
I've accepted that this is my future and it is in my hands