I know that insecurity isn't pretty,
which is how I also know that I'm not beautiful
You used to course
through my veins before I knew it.
Seeping into every part of me.
I knew only to succumb....
Like a drug taking over against all will.
Now you have found a way to become
an entity that sits before me.
Staring me down in hopes of success.
Oh what a joy to be able to
stare back and simply walk away.
Insecurity isn't an attention seeking excuse.
Its something we do without noticing and other people get concerned..
I don't understand.
All of you were my whole existence
My life line – my sanity
You didn't know my inner world
I may have spoken of dancing
Wanting to stand on mountain tops
You put me high on a golden pedestal
“You can do anything!” you said with admiration
I wasn't the one you believed me to be
I wasn't your savior or your superhero
Inside my fears were magnifying
Like a bubble that would burst
A ticking time bomb
Nothing to hold on to
Rolling down hill
Faster and faster
Scratches, cuts and bruises
Black and blue
Inside and out
I was never coming back
but I am still here
...terrified you won’t like me anymore...
Excuse me for my hurt,
I know you mean well,
And you want to inspire,
And uplift me,
But language is a fickle art.
One that can make the difference,
Composing tone and the words themselves.
And there is no greater insecurity
Than the one called Me.
Since the very beginning,
I have been openly listening,
Engaging in thoughtful discussion -
The subject of You, the percussion.
I immediately spotted possible repercussions.
I wanted, and I still do,
To know your essence,
But healthy exchanges
And I don't want to be left hanging,
Feeling like I'm lesser.
I crave knowing the rest of your essence,
But have you no interest
In knowing the same?
Are our minds connected
Of the same fibers
Or are we what we weave,
Being different in how we perceive,
A lifetime of individual strings?
The only Person I should keep in my life,
Making me feel inferior and uninteresting,
Is Me -
And I shall escape that fate,
With unconditional love, and positivity.
I am deeply interested,
In knowing MySelf, loving MySelf,
And to You, who has shown limited interest
In simply knowing me,
You, I choose as a direction of my Purity,
You, unaltered and true,
You, and Me, Alone -
It all, once again,
Always begins with You.