But the vagina has such allure
Stripper Thoughts

Vaginas are all shapes & sizes
Not many vary from the fold
there are very few surprises
Seems nature's gone & set it's mould

But the vagina has such allure
A pull on man to lesbian alike
A calling so strong and pure
Enough to turn a straight girl dyke

Is it the promise of warmth & touch
A memory of a time inside
The scent of our matriarch's crotch
Draws us to those legs held wide?

It was nature's way of ensuring
The human race continues on
So that our presence here's enduring
Never ceasing. On & on

Instinct has been subject to a ploy
To harbour this hypnotic power
Sell it back, a high class toy
Put to work this delicate flower

Control the basic urge of man
The essential need to drink & eat
Once you create the ultimate fan
Then the surplus you do deplete

Until it feels that a simple look
Purchased, from a few feet away
Is as good as one hard fuck
Copulation they do delay

And so vaginas became a mystery
Sold back to all who do desire
Remember to look back in history
The vaginas are for more than hire

Michael W Noland
Michael W Noland
Dec 7, 2013

I got vinegar in my mouth
And acid under my nails
I will leave you without doubts
And point out all our fails

I got antennae in my nose
And satellites in my ears
I look against the flows
And pluck out all the years

I got thorns around my heart
And a forest on my gut
I love from the very start
And finish what I fuck

Named by a random facebook commentor

Everyone loves a pussy. We can shave it
then decorate it with a merkin,
a cute furry pubic wig that comes in a myriad
of styles, animal, vegetable and insect shapes
including Ginger Minge, Man Eater, Hairy Mary,
Fuzzy Wuzzy and the bestselling Chicago O'Hair
International Airport Landing Strip.
A man must resist smirkin at her merkin
and pretend it's not there like he pretends
her starfish encircled asshole is just a tight pussy
and the brown color on the tip of his penis
is just a streak of chocolate fudge with which
to paint a Mexican bandito mustache on her face.
Make no mistake, even if her fuzzy wuzzy
wasn't fuzzy under her carpet, you won't
find Captain Nemo inside her starfish as your 6 inch
sub explores the depths 20,000 leagues under her ass.
Maybe one day they'll have asshole merkins
with the faces of celebrities or politicians with
their mouths wide open gaping in a state of wonder.
We can only hope.

This is somewhat of a parody of the prose poem style of Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Award winning poet, Philip Levine.

For my related 'pussy' pieces please visit:
The Pussy Song: World's Dirtiest & Most Outrageous Poem

Kids Say the Darndest Things: "Hey little fella', what can Santa get you for Christmas?"

Celebrity Pussies: Cosmo's Field Guide to the Perfect Squish Mitten
..and the complementary parody:
Cosmo's Guide to Snapping Hot Cock Shots for your Online Profile
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I don't appreciate
bleeding for nine days straight
Flow so heavy I wanna die
at the silliest things I start to cry
the annoying things never made me twitch
but now I just go full bitch
I just lie around like a lump
And everything, I want to hump
Simply, I have no motivation
Golly Don't I hate menstruation

Tender fruit, grapevine,
fleshy pulp waiting

marry me, be my bride.

A designer vagina
Micheal Wolf
Micheal Wolf
Apr 4, 2013

A designer vagina
A nip and a tuck
A trim of the curtains
A tightening up
A complementary adjustment
A tidying of bits
Matches the uplift
You had on your tits
So 6 months it took
To create the perfect snatch
Only to find he's left you tonight

Watched a documentary were and I quote "I had my saddle bags lightened and my tints re aligned" only for her husband to leave her.
The Vagina.
Apr 20, 2010

The Vagina.
They say that beauty is in the eyes of the
beholder, however the vagina
is a gold mine.

Women do not even know
what their possess
many a nation have gone to war,
because of this ugly beauty,
the seven hundred wives of
King Solomon and his three
hundred concubines
a great example of what
the ugly beauty can do.

Infidelity is on the rise,
so many lies,
since the vagina is an embarassing subject
why men lie and killed for it,
For this remarkable commodity

A vagina is like a Van Gogh painting,
it gets lot of attention.
A weapon so powerful
It can break a man down to his lowest
it has a language of its own.
silly words like sup, sup, sup. during loving making
However, that was supposed to be the primary appeal
of a beer to men.

The vagina and a beer have so much in common
they both get their men all the time,
a smooth transportation,
in addition, the lamentation,
Vagina you are surely number one!
Men incredible dreams,
No matter how destructive or fulfilling,.


Dark@beautiful/or Darknlovely
hole and I think I found Mother Earth's vagina."
Sep 16

I was working at the local McDonald's
In the afternoon and was
Told by my boss that since I disappointed him
On not making the fries salty enough
That he would put me on the midnight shift

So there I am
Taking orders in my little cubicle
Hearing the headphone
"Yes I'd like a whopper, crap wrong place"
Fuck you
I take orders and then work the dishes
Jorge calls out to me whether or not
I took off the pickle in the order by mistake

Night shift comes and the air feels cool
Through the drive-thru window
I feel the night time air caressing
And cooling me
My nipples erecting
Exalting a scent that reminds me of perfume

Afterward I have to take the trash out

As I go out the air hits me
Tackles me as I transfer myself
From inside to outside
I feel the same sensations but yet I hear music
And I feel the sudden change to fill me with warmth

I go back inside and one of my fellow employees
Comes to me
"You want to see something cool?"
We walk to the back of the store
Where all the fry boxes are kept
And there is a whole in the ground

"I dug this hole and I think I found Mother Earth's vagina."
I give him a puzzled look
"Looked, I humped it earlier man and I've got to tell you.  It's a wild ride."
I begin to walk away
"Look man, these people around here call me The Master man.  I'm your guide through all this.  I'm the closest thing to the Alpha.... Or was it the Omega?....  Shit man, I don't know just stick your dick in there."  

I walked away from it
But as I looked at the hole
I felt a certain allure to it
Drawing me in like a Siren calling
Perhaps it could be my Muse
My reason for being
Am I meant to do this?
An attempt at procreating with Earth?
It'd make sense since The Master had made
With love this handcrafted vagina

I couldn't resist any longer
Temptation being to strong
I knelt down and inserted myself
Into the hole

At first I felt nothing but a scraping sensation
The sharp rubble of the ground grinding against my flesh
But then it became wet and calm
Almost soothing
I closed my eyes and then I saw her
Coming toward me and pressing my head against her breast
Calming allowing me to suck the nipple
Which let me take in the sensation
Running through me as rapidly as a river
I heard the streams
The dirt was wet and I could put my feet in it
The wind blew with a lush autumn air
That was when I knew it was almost over
And I soon as the white of winter came
So did I

I removed myself and no longer knew what to think
I went home and slept and mulled over what happened
Over a pancake brunch
With chicken on the side
They go better together than you think

My vagina betrays me
Feb 13, 2013

My vagina betrays me
It yearns to be touched, kissed, caressed
Drawn to the point of ecstasy
But perhaps lingering at the edge
To relish the pleasure for a moment
A moment

My vagina betrays me
Always wanting more
Never consolidating with the others parts
The brain
The heart
And we are not speaking in terms of anatomical correctness
No, but in terms of
I said it

My vagina betrays me
My heart yearns
They argue
The heart wants intimacy, human touch, connection
The feeling of looking into the eyes of another and knowing
In that instant
That second
That moment
Everything is okay
And even if it isn’t
It doesn’t matter
Nothing will matter

My vagina betrays me
My heart yearns
And they argue
But my brain
My logic
The voices within
They speak up, naturally of course
Please the vagina for the night
Have you looked inside
For your insides are as hideous as the out
Do not believe otherwise

My vagina betrays me
My heart yearns
They argue
But my brain
My brain does the most damage
It controls them all
The betrayal, the yearning
My brain betrays me
My brain wants what it cannot ever have
My brain desires things so far from its reach
My brain imagines the impossible

My vagina betrays me
My heart yearns
They argue
Then my brain
My brain goes off
Thoughts passing by at the speed of light
Each one, so very important
My brain is in charge.
It supplies the salty wetness that falls from my eyes
The emptiness I feel within

My vagina betrays me
My heart yearns
They argue
But my brain
My brain destroys all
My brain burns the cities down
The dreams
Dashed against the rocks
My desires
Meaninglessly quenched
My emptiness
Forever there

My brain betrays me
My brain yearns
And within, is an argument
Within is the problem
No one will ever know, So fear not
Let the brain betray
Let it yearn
For the mouth
Perhaps, that is who really is in charge
The mouth shall not betray
The eyes may
The eyes do
But who catches them long enough to see inside?
No one has, No one will

My brain betrays me
My brain yearns
An argument, within
But my mouth
It shall remain closed
Sealed tight
Strongest of clay bricks
Guarding my secrets
Guarding what lies within
The confines of my soul

Emotions betray me
Emotions yearn
Emotions cause me to argue within
But my mouth

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