The spinning torrent has brought me here
She struggled to get my attention
Bent on disclosing her abashed query of if she exists or not
By asking for my point of view

I could not answer, there was salt water filling my lungs and my body was so thrashed from the choppy sea

Eyes widened and steady, a look of anticipation covered her face
Floundering to piece together and answer with a flower in her hair
I tenderly reply with a hesitant assurance that she did indeed exist

Knowing somehow that I have been in an awful typhoon and was tossed in the enormity of the spontaneous waves

She told me to dance in the unbridled ecstasy of my survival
She knew why I crossed the sea
My lover of yesterday’s past abandoned me on a sandy shore
And left a note stabbing at my manhood, prompting me to fight for her if my love was true

So I built a boat and vigorously shipped out  
Darkeyed, mad and my heart tinted so no one could see my pain, only my determination

Roaming the ocean in an attempt to preserve my notions of love and faith

The guilt in my tender flaming heart gushed out
I’d done wrong and now I had to come face to face with me unavoidable comeuppance
Embodied in the sea
Devouring my consciousness and pumping my mind with bleak unclarified riddles, insufferable seminal propositions  

Revisiting vignettes so vivid as if they were in high definition Technicolor right before my eyes

The attraction, the pursuit that followed
Then the incomprehensible weaving of the souls

Suddenly the details of it all flooded into my brain
The fights
The lies
The unmitigated greed and narcissism caused by a chemical imbalance and a troubled past

So many reasons pointing me in the direction of which I came but I refused to yield and trudged on
As I rode the waves I became delirious, on a spree of self-induced affliction
Relocating my focused mind to a realm of contradicting confusion, being strangled by spontaneous bursts of uncertainty and rejection  
Until my boat started to sink
And all my fears and demons escaped
I didn't care if I died
I had no reason to live anymore, I wasn't afraid to meet the angel of death for an untimely yet causal powwow
The waves, monstrous and substantial
Hurling me back and forth
My hopes
My determination
My wall crumbled
The mythology of love had no merit to me any longer
The water was taking a toll on my organs until I ultimately blacked out

I remember being scraped against the bedrock of a lagoon
Coughing up blood, but realizing I was alive
Yet I felt dead ion the inside

And a figure came to me overhead
It was the girl with a flower in her hair who asked me if she existed
Her black hair shined in the sun as she pushed it back behind her ears
Her brown eyes full of wonder and honesty
Red lips teaming with sweet sounds behind them
I felt calm
I felt anxious
Anxious for I wasn’t expecting to see or come in contact with anyone

I didn’t need to do anything
But admit she was real

She knew who I was, what I had done and what happened to me

She ****** the girl who strung me along to cross the world
She told me to forget and move on and to learn from it and cultivate myself

This oracle, so benevolent
So graceful, I could not believe she was real
She wasn't a mild hallucination
She was as tangible as I

She taught me that

To look inside myself
To live for myself
“Come let’s cut ourselves open to see what we look like on the inside”