Can you come up with 170 different synonyms for shit?
They're all my haters who despise me for no other reason
than my success in breaking every Hello Poetry record (that is, the most followers, poems, words, likes, pageviews). The only other possible reason I can imagine is many of them are fucking anti-Semites. I'm not being paranoid. The member r, for example, in a piece I wrote about my mother being in Auschwitz, commented "if you can't stand the heat get out of the oven."
I've done nothing bad to these HP members whatsoever. All I've ever done is make supportive comments on their poetry ('good write', 'great write', 'lovely write', etc.).
I guess I'm also a constant reminder that they'll always be third-rate losers and never measure up to my God-given talent for writing. All I can say to all y'allz is 'go fuck yourselves you talentless turds.'
Bard-from the Bush
Iminika Lith Law
Law Lith Iminika
Roisin Sheridan Bryson
Sally A Bayan
Samantha Mary W
Stevie Ray de Vries Andries
W L Winter
凸( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)凸
The saddest day of my life.
My mud baked excrement died at sea. Bobbing up and down with the style of a cheap hooker, I wiped a tear from my eye as I said goodbye.
A part of me felt choked as white streams of bog role acted as the white sheet of a murder scene.
No police, no forensics.
Strangulation appeared to be the cause resulting in decapitation.
Wouldn't have happened if I didn't use Manipulation to overcome the chronic constipation.
Last time I eat beans on toast.
Now I'm being haunted by a turd shaped ghost!
Whilst walking down the street
I heard a thunderous tweet;
'Twas a straining little bird
Who couldn't pass a turd.
The little thing was constipated,
Its anus wide dilated;
Tweeting loudly in mid-bog,
Trying to eject a log.
I observed with sympathetic heart
As it trumpeted out a fart;
Straining, chirping loud and long,
Letting off a foul and noisome pong.
I watched for nigh an hour
Its display of anal power;
Then a final intestinal pump
Produced a huge great steaming lump:
A mighty ball of faeces
(a giant of its species,
and total bumhole splitter
which shattered its feathered shitter).
Went to the toilet and saw a floating turd,
not flushing is so damn absurd.
Pushed the handle and found out why,
what happened next made me cry.
Brown water coming to the top,
tried everything but it wouldn't stop.
Water and turds all over the floor,
this is something, I didn't ask for.
Squeezed my nose and grabbed a plunger,
it's a good thing I used to be a plumber.
I can feel the turds oozing through my toes,
man this shit really blows.
Finally I got the water to go down,
the once white tile is now covered brown.
Smells so bad, I started to gag,
got some paper towels, a mop and a bag.
Sprayed Fabreze as much as I could,
puked on the floor where I stood.
Took an hour, but the bathroom is clean,
never have I seen something so obscene.
Jumped myself in the shower,
gave myself one hell of a scour.
Suddenly up from the drain,
another turd, I couldn't detain.
There it was laughing at me,
this shit is fucked up, wouldn't you agree.
Maybe this is the famous Mr. Hankey,
this South Park character is making me cranky.
Everywhere I looked, all day I saw poop,
it was like a nightmarish continuous loop.
Just couldn't get turds off my mind,
for the first time in my life, I wish to be blind.
For now on my bathroom is the back yard,
who would have thought turds would leave me scarred.
takin the load down the dirt road,
thinkin about the reggae girl me once loved,
boy did i like the way she rubbed,
i notice me rasta themed pants had a little bump,
me third leg was feelin a little stiff,
i decided to light me a little splif,
me started to rub thee bumb in me pant,
no way i was bout to stop, no way, no chance,
i feel a sensation, me son is Croatian,
me lost control of me rig and next ting ya kno,
me in the ditch wit at sticky hand,
me turd leg cost me 1900.00 annually in
insurance. me learned dat me dont
have much indurance. da lesson to be
learned is if your feeling an itch on ya
turd leg, pullover because if ya dont
you be broke as a reggae boy lost at sea