Thrown back, like unclean
Not even as a second look,
Features great the cold ground,
Feeling more in this moment
Of contact, than in life
Feelings upon show, not opening
That emotion that shows,
I have hands out, as if trying to cup
Of others, not wanting to go back,
"I will not look back"
They shut that door, and ended it.
A new harder chapter in my
Walk of life, But the ground is
But it is upon this I now rest a
Protection of self,
For predators of the night greet darkness
I hope that a new day awakens my eyes,
For I am among many,
Vacant emotion upon many faces
As if the world has won over them,
I just wish to open my eyes and greet a new day
I am among many unwanted but still wish life.
Alone, cold, and mislead
is what it feels like to be unwanted.
After a while the feelings are accepted,well actually any feeling.
Maybe this was planned maybe if I keep going I will see a light.
Through this darkness I will come.
Feelings of acceptance creep in, slowly, but they still come.
Laughter seems so far away, like it is foreign where I am.
Where is that I ask? Why does it even matter because I know what darkness feels like.
I know what being unwanted feels like.
Because no one can help me now. Now that I know what it feels like and what it means.
Now I know what it means to be
My heart is racing violently,
Yet I stay seated silently.
Please not now, anxiety.
I need to remain calm.
I lightly touch my temples,
I can't keep myself from gasping.
I look towards the door,
My eyes begin to sting.
A tear drops past my cheek.
Fuck this, I need to leave.
"Don't say such things."
These emotions have me snared.
As I stare at the door in tears,
I finally run through it,
Down the hall; and stairs.
They put me through this.
The reason I'm so anxious,
Is simply because of you idiots.