Wait... why is this cold sweat on the back of my neck here?
I thought this was over, nothing else to fear...
Its 10:30... is that late or early? I thought it was bed time...
what is going on, two weeks ago I was fine... play, pause, rewind?
No fuck that, I just need to take a step back.
Lets think, is it her? Or, her... or is it me?
I'm not sure, either way , its up to me.
I must take a second look on my shelf
to see if I saved some love for myself.
There was a time when you and I had not seen ourselves in mirrors
Before we knew what we looked like
Before we knew how we feel at all
A time before I knew how my body would work
Most months rusty water drains
A packet of small white circular tablets coated in sugar is responsible for my happiness
I imagine my uterus is the colour of a faded flannel cloth
Red used to be my favourite colour
On many occasions My body has felt like a new years resolution.
Your sweat reminded me of rainbows in petrol
It tasted like the sea.
I wake up in cold sweats more than I wake up
Dreams of flying and floating have turned to
Finding and fear
Bodies of new and friends forgotten
My skin may bear what once was there
But forget not I will, the friends of young thrill
You still haunt and frequent my dreams
Tearing apart my sanity at all of its seams
Happy and somber, I remember it all
Liquor brings it out most of all
But it also calms that calls
Whatever liquor makes seem true
I can question without fighting
Because liquor is my choice and the
Lack thereof makes others king