Hungry, Horney Spiders:
When that day
finally comes and you're caught in a web.
Out of options.
In the darkest part of the tunnel,
looking into the black hole eyes
of a hungry, horney Spider.
Don't be afraid because death is a myth.
But the spirit carries on.
Disagree, I understand.
Personally, I know way too many ghosts to take "life" seriously because in some way we will always possess life.
My name is Jacob like the ladder, don't call me Baby.
You have a dick, cool, I have one too.
I'm good munching on my
If you don't understand what I'm sayin'
then I guess my words are bigger than your schlong.
Life is a race
never to be erazed
life is a journey
filled with bitter and horney
it is a scripture packed with
load's of picture
life is a bus driving down the
road to our future
it is the proof of our existence
the measure of our prominence
it is a gift from the creator
one with no superior
life is beautifull
as beautifull as the blooming
of a rose flower
life is good.
Please excuse me,
as I take a chance
to try and con the ones who have conecended us.
As I slide down
my verbal pole of innocence.
Slithering, crawling, hungry and horney.
Strutting around the club,
looking for fame,
so I can give him a lap dance
and go down on HIStory.
You told me to pick a card
& I chose the Star.
One day, Some day,
I will outshine all of your darkness.
I met fate at a strip club.
We're all diamonds, just some of us are in the rough.
IT GET'S BETTER.
WITH THE CLEANING
THERE'S DISHES NEEDIN TO GET DONE !
I GOT SOME FRIENDS COMIN OVER
SO REST UP
SOME OF EM MIGHT BE HORNEY
AND THEY LIKE YA
SO BE READY--
I'm gettin tired a this!
I ain't gonna take it for more than
Another decade or two!
Ya musta been readin them liberated
Kids on hello poetry!
They only take abuse two
Years at most
Before movin on ta
Another abuser !
She started cryin
Said she wouldn't read it any more
And begged for forgiveness
I didn't give her none
It woulda just confused her
Bein a mere
I don't know how many bottles of beer
I have consumed while waiting for things
to get better
I dont know how much wine and whisky
I have consumed after
splits with women-
waiting for the phone to ring
waiting for the sound of footsteps,
and the phone to ring
waiting for the sounds of footsteps,
and the phone never rings
until much later
and the footsteps never arrive
until much later
when my stomach is coming up
out of my mouth
they arrive as fresh as spring flowers:
"what the hell have you done to yourself?
it will be 3 days before you can fuck me!"
the female is durable
she lives seven and one half years longer
than the male, and she drinks very little beer
because she knows its bad for the figure.
while we are going mad
they are out
dancing and laughing
with horney cowboys.
well, there's beer
sacks and sacks of empty beer bottles
and when you pick one up
the bottle fall through the wet bottom
of the paper sack
spilling gray wet ash
and stale beer,
or the sacks fall over at 4 a.m.
in the morning
making the only sound in your life.
rivers and seas of beer
the radio singing love songs
as the phone remains silent
and the walls stand
straight up and down
and beer is all there is.
Hate the holidays well I got one for you.
Dont have to follow no rules.
Just drink till ya drop.
To what's the ocassion still ya
havent a clue.
Hey there missy.
dont piss and moan just grab a pint
ya big sissy.
No need for a kleenex just wipe that blood off
on your sleeve.
Stoner slacker and poets unite for
it's Thanksgiving Eve.
No need to hang anything by the
chimney with care.
But it is a party so lets see your underwear.
Lets beat the holiday blues.
Hey who's drunk and horney?
Short skirts and thoose high heel shoes.
Crank that jukebox hey grandpa theres
no need to leave.
Cause everyone is included on Thanksgiving eve.
Hey amigo if we play are cards right.
we can stir enough shit to see a chick fight.
Hey whats going on upstairs God only knows.
It's not cheating just wrestling without any
Hey who just cut a whole in the floor?
hey grandpa ya better watch that exotic woman
your dancing with.
Cause she's a woman with a little more.
Hey ya'll the cops are coming along with a swat
team so it's my cue to leave.
but like that fat prick in a red suit I'll
return to bring ya another great Thanksgiving Eve.
Aye think o this
When winter breezes blaws aroun'
whare silent thochts are filled wae gloom
and drifting words,they echo past
frae fearful man an fearful lass
In haunted hooses and misty lans
whare Ghosties an gobblins an unco bans
Pass atween this an theirs, that form
amidst tha thunders crashing storm.
Aye tucked up aroun yeer mithers apron
wae teeth a nashing an voices wailing
Fine ye ken this unhaly nicht
tis filled wae all unGodly licht
Craw tha Banshee frae tha Ben
like howlet song throughoot tha Glen.
Satan, Auld horney casts his lots
for innocent bairnies fresh frae their cots
An' ancient stories there arise an fly
Like shooting stars that fill tha sky
for here in tales tha croonies dae rattle
in haunting airs and fiendish battle
leagons arise tae tha masters calling
This nicht hell awakens, aahhh tha heevens are falling.
Here in blackened darkened skies
whare lichtning flashes weaves an cries
An mortal man fears fa his soul
against that heelish burning coal
Ministers intae their beds are fleeing
wae ranting verses fa all their Dealing.
Whare auld worn hags an witches cast
upon tha waters that blaw an blast
drooning mony tha ship an sailor
all fa tha glory O their Demonic tailor
when cauldrens stir in bubbling brews
An damnation demands its richtful dues
tha lan' it heaves and haws
devouring all within its jaws
A Blood red Moon casts her lot
whare evil men have Died an fought
tha Earth auld an worn frae tribulation
demands the blood of every nation.
Here within the fields o life
brither against brither in war an strife
hae released all this fiendish nightmare
fa all their guilt,fa all they share
Booze pills and that naughty no no known as drugs
hell if you do anything your addict ever see the sobber pricks
down at the local mall?
Kids screaming wife bitching you catch the eyes of the so called
happy bastard who looks like one more scream laced cry
is gonna make him flip and create some drama for the evening news .
Yeah happiness sure smells like misery to me.
Id rather drink and fuck till I fall out dead than
live the dream that looks more like a nightmare.
Taking pills not to strangle some misreble bitch to death.
Meanwhile she's greezing your brakes trying to to talk ya in to going to see the grand cannyon.
Ever been there?
Yeah a big ass ditch with a bunch of annoying picture taking pricks
yeah i'll snap a pic of ya okay step back ,back okay like a few more steps well ya fell of the ledge ya silly bastards.
Guess it's cool to keep the camera.
Ive been to scores seems the sights were more dam grand and
the drinks a hell of alot better.
Ever wake up to the dam TV blaring some early morning
Some dam annoying tiny voiced dumbass talkin to the kids.
Look they got the net they get knocked up and make a show about it
something tells me you can cut the dumbass act.
16 and pregnant wow what genius more like when
horney bastards attack hey heres a brainstorm
birth control not that some over emotional half wit
doesnt need a kid hell cant wait to see thoose offsprings
hey mom wanna go on a double date to the prom?
Happiness it cost to dam much and love will give ya
Well cept for being misreble bastard.
Keep it between the ditches
The hp deathstar had all but sqaushed are rebellion.
And the pub falcon was being looked for parked in front of everycyber bar across the net so it really sucked cause capt Gonzo
was really thirsty.
We had taken refuge on endor for awhile untill
thoose fury bastards got pissed over a simple misunderstanding
they sure were some horney little teddy bears .
In thinking over were to hide there was mention
of eurainus to which I replied.
Get your mind outta the gutter man.
you just said eurainus.
Cp bathsebo and R2 Swanson said s0mething to which
I jokingly replied hush the men are talking once wasnt to smart.
Ever been kick to the grown by a steel high heel shoe
hopefully the numbness will wear off.
Master golden had taught me much
but that was many drinks ago.
How am i supposed to remember that far back
yesterday was a blur.
So fuck it lets kick his ass already jack skyhorner said.
Darth Elliot was mighty the battle was hell.
I would have joined in but someone had to rob the liqour
cabinet besides Honzo Gonzo a bit of a hangover.
As the stormtroppers aproached screamed like a 13 year old girl and ran to fire up the pub falcon.
As the others said what about jack I said im sorry but he's gone
it was brutle i took out as many as could.
But Jack would want us to move on.
Just then Jack appeared and said nice scream gonz.
We blasted across the gallaxy with no direction cause ya know
how guys are about asking for directions.
Fully stocked and and reloaded so to speak.
Drath Elliot was amighty foe.
But no match for the outcast girly screaming
Cheers amigos see ya at a pub near you.