My heart is not normal.
It doesn't resemble yours.
It's not the same size,
its not the same color,
Its what you might call,
Strange how something so similar,
can be so different.
My heart it beats much faster,
My heart it appears much darker.
You ask me how this can be,
I dont have the answer!
I think part of my problem is that I've been feeling like the issues I face are too much, too abnormal, especially for people I'm close to.
Then I feel like I'm too abnormal.
I try to remind myself that of course I'm not normal
what I have been through is terribly abnormal.
But that doesn't mean that I myself am
terrible or horrible or dirty or unlovable or gross.
It just means I have to deal with things most people don't.
I am strong.
Even when I need help and support.
Not near-sighted; not far-sighted
Just blinded by stupidity
By rich inhumanity
Lack of love in society
Absence of insight; omission of outsight
Just censored curiosity
Loss of credibility
Futures foresighted; actions unsighted
The past, no punctuality
Death by immortality
Buried from reality
What am I without this
toxic insanity that twists
my every move? Nothing,
that's what I am, what
I would be without me.
Maybe feeling normal would
wash this burning passion
for difference, which I love so
dearly, away. If that is the case,
I will be abnormal any day.
My visualization, so much inspiration
Living life like its a celebration
I am an artist, I crave originality
I am an artist, accustomed to abnormality
Thinking new thoughts, looking forward to collaboration
Surrounded by new artists who are filled with associative orientation
Filled with passion, filled with drive
Guided by emotions, striving to thrive
Sitting in the local coffee shop,
Listening to coffee shop songs,
Doing work but simultaneously
Of the abnormal type,
But not reflecting inward.
Sipping hot coffee,
Burning your mouth on it,
But trying not to react.
Someone across the cafe saw you; shit!
Drinking coffee nonchalantly,
Reflect inward, dammit.
From the loins of a saint ,
And the womb of a sinner
Comes a natural born winner .
Full of unrelenting hate
For these pawns that surround her
Leaning her to ask is it
Abnormality or insanity ?
That plagues her mind
Cyanide dripped vanity
Trying to hide her hate for humanity
Ink screaming ,
"DONT TALK TO ME !"
Blood singing for like minded beings ,
Loneliness doesn't even have a meaning . ™