I think part of my problem is that I've been feeling like the issues I face are too much, too abnormal, especially for people I'm close to.
Then I feel like I'm too abnormal.
I try to remind myself that of course I'm not normal
what I have been through is terribly abnormal.
But that doesn't mean that I myself am
terrible or horrible or dirty or unlovable or gross.
It just means I have to deal with things most people don't.
I am strong.
Even when I need help and support.
Not near-sighted; not far-sighted
Just blinded by stupidity
By rich inhumanity
Lack of love in society
Absence of insight; omission of outsight
Just censored curiosity
Loss of credibility
Futures foresighted; actions unsighted
The past, no punctuality
Death by immortality
Buried from reality
Sitting in the local coffee shop,
Listening to coffee shop songs,
Doing work but simultaneously
Of the abnormal type,
But not reflecting inward.
Sipping hot coffee,
Burning your mouth on it,
But trying not to react.
Someone across the cafe saw you; shit!
Drinking coffee nonchalantly,
Reflect inward, dammit.
From the loins of a saint ,
And the womb of a sinner
Comes a natural born winner .
Full of unrelenting hate
For these pawns that surround her
Leaning her to ask is it
Abnormality or insanity ?
That plagues her mind
Cyanide dripped vanity
Trying to hide her hate for humanity
Ink screaming ,
"DONT TALK TO ME !"
Blood singing for like minded beings ,
Loneliness doesn't even have a meaning . ™
you're the something i cant escape.
you're the secret that doesn't relate.
but a few know of you and your strength.
and how you tear me apart day by day.
keeping you hidden gives you more power.
because in darkness you can devour.
everything that i am and are
you are what is causing the scars.
some may say your quite normal.
though you are what makes me abnormal.
i know now i need to take the next step
to save me from this depth.
you are my ANXIETY
everything that surrounds me.
stop making me worry
about things that aren't worthy.
She did not keep the peace, was not the conformist in silence, was not a normal person. She was the rebellious martyr filled with centuries upon centuries of the world's anger and trash. She did not yield for a rule, never stormed for the greater good of currency, and was born to die. But of course, not before she recieved what she thrived for.
Who are you to call me abnormal?
Who are you to say ugly?
If you only knew how much it hurts me, it hurts me.
I could ask have you seen yourself in the mirror?
I'd rather keep my dignity
Cause it is my right to feel happy, happy.
To pick on the weak gives you strength.
Feeling self-confident with your friends
But just because you see me alone
It doesn't mean that I've got no one to call on the phone.
Everyday, every second of my life
Is a fight to survive
Outnumbered, put against the wall
It's about to get physical.