It was a cold, wintry December day.
I was at home,
sitting by the fire.
The fire was hot,
but from where I sat,
it felt like a warm blanket.
my nipples started to lactate,
I did not know what was going on.
I lifted up my soaking wet shirt,
and put my hands over my nipples,
in an attempt to stop the lactating,
up it did not work.
I squeezed my nipples,
to see if they would lactate,
but nothing happened.
I went to bed,
hoping this nightmare would be over in the morning.
But it wasn't.
When I woke up,
I went into the bathroom to perform my daily morning activities,
when I realized something on my chest.
A third nipple!
I tried to rip it off,
but I couldn't.
Later that day,
I was eating a juicy, tender steak,
all three of my nipples began to lactate!
I tried to stop them,
for they were lactating all over my steak.
Then, like before,
This proceeded for many days.
I woke up with another nipple,
and everyday around six o'clock,
they would all lactate,
until one day,
the unthinkable happened.
I woke up.
I could not move.
I had no legs.
I was a giant nipple.
"NO!" I screamed.
I began to lactate,
and then I exploded.
I have a third nipple.
That doesn't mean I'm cripple.
It's on the left side.
Some people think its weird like Jekyll and Hyde.
But there really actually wrong.
Because my nipple just makes me a lot more strong.
People either love it or they hate it.
Either way they wish they had one and usually throw a fit.
Taunt, firm, erect and pleasing fair
and warm amidst the cool night air.
A drop of breast milk is expressed
to please the one who loves it best.
He who waits with undisguised pleasure
to suck upon it at his leisure.
Relax, this is no porn spawned prattle
Just baby Rob and his Two A.M. bottle.
I love you honey bunny
he says as if Jules is a seat ahead of us
with a gun pointed straight at his nuts.
Then you have Dylan making your throat red raw
before the words have even slipped off your tongue.
The jump from teenage delinquency to normal relations
was harder than I thought after all.
Olivia's paranoia ensues on to the next golden boy
and Jill's left nipple is the only joy I feel I bring to the table.
Every tacky horoscope site tells me you and I are simpatico
my head on the other hand is knee deep in delusions
of fates paths ruined and fates paths missed on both ends.
I've foolishly given you my all
and I foolishly anticipate the fall.
Close your eyes she says
you're walking down a street you barely recognize
suddenly in the distance you see that old maple tree
your mother used to carve your heights into
and the yellow brick devoured by beautiful ivy
that's now taller than you ever could have imagined.
The bright red door invites you inside,
you're stepping on the floor he laid,
out the corner of your eye you see the fireplace he built from scratch
she beckons you to look past that and go forward
up the winding staircase
first door on your left once you reach the top step.
Inside you expect to find your bedroom at age five
but all I see is an old bed with stuffed animals strewn across it.
I grab one, take a seat on the floor
and wait for him to come bursting through the door
to scoop me up in his big arms and promise me
that he isn't going anywhere again.
I wait for a moment I know will never come
unless I keep my eyes shut.
When I was small enouf to suck da nipple of me mother (13),
I found da great sensation of da ganja,
Me uncle Batius make me a sandwich every day,
He know dat I like a da strong cheese,
So he put it in everytime,
I did not know dat da cheese was gangja smoke til much lata,
I neva undastood wy it make me so happy,
I fuk yo bitch