I feel as close to you as how wind is to my skin,
I feel as powerful with you as how I am with a gun.
I feel as courageous next to you as how sky divers are with working parachutes.
I feel as sad without you as departing rain drops from dark hovering clouds.
I feel as bored dismissing you as a good book read by a blind man.
I feel as far from you as how the visible sun is if you look from Earth.
I feel as clouded missing you as the moon is clouded by nebulae.
I feel as dejected promising you as government cronies over promising development.
I feel as lonely not seeing you as Golden Retrievers are when their masters are not around.
I feel as blatantly bloated next to you as over-heated air balloons raise up the shiny sky.
I feel as speechless around you as unprepared speakers in a conference hall.
And at the end, I feel as close to you as how my eyes met yours then cheekily, we detached our sight and pretend that we were never close at all.
I feel close to you still
but even closer
It feels exceptional to be close to you,
The warmth omitted from your pores
enter mine with so much delight.
I feel your skin caressing mine.
With invisible hands you pull me
ever so close to you, and
like a magnet I am closer to you now
than the air around you.
I feel blessed, thankful, joyful,
to have, finally, been able to
plant your cheeks a kiss,
to finally be able to steal one
from your lips,
may it be with your consent
I do not care.
I know it is not fair.
I would wear you as my clothes
if I have a choice.
Because missing you leave me
I have no other way to admit to you
that I cannot stay away from you,
I cannot stay away from you.
And so can’t you.
I have never knew something
with this much certainty,
I have never embraced a woman
with this much fervor,
with this much passion.
You are like a new fashion in town,
a new perfume I would wear.
You are a breath of fresh air.
And for you and everything, I care.
And I dare say that when the sky
I will still be here.
I will still be there,
I will still be reachable.
I will still be giving you my shoulder.
I will still…
till the end of the end of times.
Till our conclusion,
the very last credits of our lives,
I will stay.
I feel close to you,
I feel the chill down the spine.
Like raindrops falling on leaves,
you slipped right through me.
You slipped right into me.
I imagine your hands
and how it would feel like to hold them,
I imagine your eyes,
and how it could read my play by play.
Imagination fuels curiosity,
Curiosity fuels death – death in your hands.
Unique relationship of a thousand purposes,
We walk towards an oriental sun,
I remember your perfume
like memorizing keyboard characters.
But we have dismembered physicality.
We have configured a disfigured mentality.
Let’s not go outside,
Beauty has its way to disconnection,
I know it too well from you.
I feel detached from my consciousness,
In this dream, rationality became serendipity.
I turned to sleep – only to stay awake.
I require a moment with you,
so please take some time to understand me.
A butterfly of a thousand colors flew by me today,
believing it is you, I stared at it with no distraction,
except attraction and perfection.
Let me tell you this now.
Life is nothing to me when I can’t see you.
A little part of me dies everyday, every second.
Some part of me failed in every sense possible,
I can’t feel my legs, my elbows, my toes,
My dreams are nightmares I cannot accept as my reality,
What more can I do if not erase you prudently.
Every chance and moment I have I tried forgetting you,
Never succeeded, never won, always lost.
Standing blurred and confused I realized your inferiority.
Haven’t I tried my best? I have! But maybe (just maybe),
it is never my destiny to erase you at all.
such a trapper.
such a teaser.
such an abrupter.
like a bubblegum,
filled with eager.
in your mind,
my soul's attacker.
fumes of disdain,
faint whiff of trouble,
misaligned with mine,
an eerie blockbuster.
I woke ahead of the morning,
for reasons I hardly know.
I clad myself in fancy clothes
but for reasons I hardly know.
I put on a tie - attempted a knot
but failed as I waste more time.
I look at my clock, I look at my watch,
Wonder why it did not chime.
I gulp a steaming cup of espresso,
a shot of adrenaline pumped briskly,
I took my phone, dashed out quickly,
I then forgot my keys.
Found them seep in between the couch,
I had to sweat it out.
Crumpled shirt and an unbalanced tie
I foresee a morning shout.
I ignore a typical Monday dusk,
as I put on my cotton socks,
Slipped my toes into my brogues,
I took one last look at the clock.
I still had time, it is still early,
Perhaps a cigarette before I drive,
I lit one up, minty inhale,
the sun has started to rise.
I rushed in the car, started the engine,
and put my gear to reverse.
I zoom right out my greasy gate,
My tires, all four of them, bursts.
I took one look in the mirror,
I knew it's down the drain,
I might as well call in sick,
and tell my boss it's the rain.
Who would believe that all four tires,
would deflate so quickly at once?
It sounds like a bad joke by a bad comedian,
not believable - like a very bad pun.
I took one last look at my watch,
It's way past 'possible' o-clock.
I left the car to fend for itself,
I went into the house without my socks.
I jumped right back into my silky bed,
happy to see my five pillows.
I am not excited it's the start of the week,
but Tuesday can never be this mellow.
I shut the window, pulled the blinds,
Sleep deprived made me berserk.
"Mundane Monday", "Monday blues",
Whatever...you're the one at work.
I will explain one thing,
I will proclaim one thing,
and that is how I will
on you, and on your
tender, caring love.
I miss your eyes,
How I like to see inside you
through those dark brown eyes.
I miss your lips,
How it would crack suddenly,
and out comes the lip gloss,
I miss your hands on mine,
and how it feels like when
you rest them on my palms.
I miss how we can sit and
and still feel connected like
strings and wires.
I miss your voice that hums
the sweetest melodies,
even when you are not singing.
It can continue its playback
as I layback while I
enjoy your presence.
With you now not here,
I am now not near
anything that is perfect,
You have left me speechless,
and with you gone,
you have made me dreamless.
I miss living in our reality.
Our reality that consists of
real and true fantasies
that only you and I understand,
that only you
I long for you, and no shyness
of any level could stop
me from professing it now.
I miss you, and
because when you are dreaming
while sleeping, and
my hands are not behind your head
that I wish my hand be amputated,
and be carried to you,
on a kite, in the wind,
over the Straits.
So come home soon.
You are starting to feel like one.
Could we decide what we are
and what we could become?
Could we bring new temptation
to the book of sins?
Could we please decide
if we could live or die
without each other.
Then at the end,
could we admit
that we could never live without
having first have our sight,
in all suddenness,
meet at one linear place
together with the stars.
Could we then really hold true to our hearts,
and decide, define, admit and realize
that in between the moon and the sun,
there are two different beings
that are not very different,
that are secretly, uncontrollably,
missing the other.
Could we then begin?
My words: I intend to keep it,
It shall work for you
like an early dose
of Canadian maple syrup,
the ever so fresh,
the ever so sweet,
to soak your cozy cotton
It shall warm you, my words,
even if the morning is too
cold for you to snuggle.
I say it should work its way
through my promises,
promises and words that
I promise to deliver and say,
especially when I say
I love you.
I can feel it, your veins,
how it absorb every
alphabets my sentences
I can see your eyes widened
when my cursive handwriting
reaches your sight,
your point of view.
I can see your ears swell,
when you hear these things
that comes out of my mouth.
I intend to keep it.
Words, that’s all I have,
and like a train wreck
it will collide with your
body and soul.
It will explode as if the train
was carrying twenty thousand
tons of fireworks,
all ignited at the same time.
It will be hot, but also magical.
It will, my words and you,
shoot up to the sky and
spell out our names,
and it shall not rest until if
Aristotle was to rise from his grave.
We will forever be an exploding firework.
My words: I intend to keep it.
My words, you can have them:
Have them all,
because my heart is honest,
my gestures are candid,
my view is direct,
my love is pure,
my care is sincere,
my truth is frank; and
they are heartfelt.
That all you have my word.
My muse disappears every fortnightly,
Together it depart with the Queen o’ diamonds
- My Queen o’ diamonds.
I dropped a pen at the struck of midnight,
The sound pierced through the stillness of the hour.
I heard a whisper,
Unsure of its origination.
Stillness that night was an obvious chaos,
A virtuous solitude but
an absolute peril.
Solitary is a joke.
Through the midnight darkness I saw a painting,
Canvas like no other,
Picture so picturesque it impressed baboons
and baffled armed legions.
I walked toward it blind,
Until I saw it glimmer from four steps away.
I closed up near.
I stood for days, mystified by such heroic art.
I did not bathe myself,
did not give in to social delights.
So I do what all poets do best – I confessed...
“I adore a canvas of the Queen o’ hearts!”
- at least My Queen o’ hearts.