If i wanted you to stay i would have chiselled my name into your heart
If i wanted you to breath i would have hung up your lungs like art
the sun doesn't get to decide when it turns the lights out
and the clouds never get to choose who they're mourning about
When all you love has slipped away
you'll feel me in the wind
I am the grass beneath your feet
and the dandelions in spring
If i wanted you to care i would have never said the things i did
search for answers if you dare but you know life can't consist of simple things
pull of the strings one by one 'till they're standing alone
while they crumble under fear they'll spend their life waiting by the phone
Throw your hopes and dreams aside
you've amounted to nothing
we all hope the pain subsides
but our hope begins to thin
Your eyes are always so crinkled
School must drain you so
Always barely perceiving
They were disheartening with
melancholy in tow
I'll never forget the night I realized
No longer creased, no longer apathetic
So round, so alive
In this moment I realized that I
had seen them before
I saw a glimpse today
Maybe it's too much to think that
I made your eyes everything
Everything I needed to be alrite
I kissed your mouth that night
A person like you could be good for me
i want you to scream “SHUT UP!” in the middle of one of my ramblings
no, no one.
i want you to do it and i want you to slap me and then i want you to kiss me
and i want to be FURIOUS with you
but i want to taste your lips
i’m so far gone and i’m so long lost
and i feel like a million dust particles flying in the drapes of your mothers house
the one that wears the bright pink lipstick you hated as a child
it’s what i’ve always wanted, isn’t it?
and surround you in the most literal sense
because that’s the only sense i’m capable of fulfilling.
i am not overwhelming nor am i beautiful.
nor is my voice or my pale, pale skin.
even when it’s torn or taunt
or bitten or blackened
from your anger kisses
and your frustration vacuum
sucking up all of me
all of me
goodbye all of me
he used to wrap himself in his sister’s curtains
they tangled around his legs
he couldn’t move with them
couldn’t move at all
he liked to get caught
he liked to get trapped
as long as he didn’t go anywhere
and he stayed put
there was no
his sister used to find him like that
his face pressed against the window
he looked out
and forgot there was in
she had to pull him back
You tell me to close the curtains.
"Close the curtains so the neighbors won't see!"
But one thought rings out clear in my mind --
The curtains won't change what you're doing to me.
Even if the world's in the dark
About what happens under the cover of night,
It still hurts, it still happens, and it is real.
The situation is desperate for light.
You can try to belittle me -- go right ahead.
But I know something you don't know.
Hit me, hurt me, try to knock me down;
I have nowhere left to go.
I've already hit rock bottom;
I've got nowhere left to fall.
So, close the door behind you --
Because I'm going to tell it all.
my friend asked me what i'm going to do in LA when i get to california. i told her how i am going to wander around aimlessly until i die. she hung the phone up on me. i didn't have the guts to tell her how i plan on doing nothing at all. i plan to sleep outside. i plan to get strung out. i plan to be in a place where i will never have to look at the same face twice in the same day ever again unless i want to. and i don't want to.