Here I am making excuses for you.
He didn't know I was there.
He didn't see me walk by.
He didn't get my text.
He didn't have a good day.
He didn't have a day off this week.
No longer am I making excuses for you.
So here's what I am saying:
You didn't try hard enough.
When we parted,
I never got to say goodbye properly.
All I did,
Was give excuses
"I loved the character you played"
"I over exaggerated"
"I wasn't sober"
They were just stupid excuses.
I know what I did,
and I'm sorry.
I want you to be happy,
and if that means that I'm not around,
then So. Be .It
It were Christmas
Because I love the frenzy
And excuses it brings.
It's a beautiful
Excuse to not do
The rubbish things
In life that we spend
Our lives doing.
The fairy lights
Entwined in the trees
With the buzz
I wish it were
It brings the beautiful
Excuse to love
Just as we love
The icy daisies
Of spring I love
The warm branches
Of bare Christmas Trees
I wish it were Christmas
Because I want to
Hang the rosewood
And see the glitter of sequin
Bunting strung happily
About the bedrooms.
I love the beautiful
In the gifts bought
And how love is sieved
Through in the snow.
"I'm just tired..."
Excuse one for the silence that ensues.
She listens as he tells her he refuses to hurt her
...even though she aches as the words leave his lips.
Triple chocolate chocolate chip frosting is all she wants.
"I didn't sleep well..."
Excuse two for the agitated responses.
Her best friend has distanced herself
...but expects her to just sit by and wait to be wanted again.
Triple chocolate chocolate chip frosting gags her.
"It was a rough night..."
Excuse three for the silent tears that stream down her face.
Her father tells her she's a spoiled, stupid bitch
...but acts like he's a genius that's greater than God.
Food loses its appeal entirely.
"I don't need a mirror to see myself..."
Excuse four for her avoidance of reflective surfaces.
Her mirror has become her worst enemy
...reflecting her flaws and screaming her issues.
She no longer has an appetite.
Excuse five... and six for all the things she does in a day.
She's breaking, crying, and dying
...but its been repeated so many times her friends have begun to believe it.
Food now makes her want to throw up.
seven, eight, nine, ten for all the things she needs to deny
her mask of a smile makes everyone believe them all
...no one realizing how unhappy she is
she eats...but only because she doesn't want them to worry.