To be a **jerk**

Seeing you drives me crazy
I can’t stand being in the same building as you
Let alone standing near you
You’re condescending
And you could use help in the anger management department

But
You’re so nice to me
So gentle
You must think I’m a damned fool

I’ve seen you hit and punch and scream
When we were 12,
You pinned someone to a wall
I think he said something racist
But that doesn’t really give you the right
To be a jerk

I hate feeling this way about you
I don’t want to like you
You’re so nice to me,
But you’re so terrifying to be around
Watching you is like watching a soldier
Who doesn’t know the war is over

I feel like I’m trapped in a war zone
Fighting with myself
Tearing my gaze away from you
Whenever people catch me staring
I feel like I’ll die because of the shame

You’re a jerk
But
 I love you
and
I hate it

ahahah I hate having feelings sometimes
#love   #hate   #confused   #asshole   #jerk  
What a secretive jerk!
Shari Forman
Shari Forman
Oct 29, 2013

He threw our relationship away,
To get back the life he used to have.
What a secretive jerk!

Kaedon
Kaedon
Nov 18, 2012

and i'd walk through hell just to prove a point
i date a girl for their heart and you try to avoid them,
why do you criticize when you don't even know
that your a poor little boy who harms their souls

GussE
GussE
Feb 16      Feb 17

I would stand by you if you had a better attitude.
I would love you if you were less shallow.
I would fight for you if you had a fight of your own.
I would listen to your problems
if I already didn’t hear them all.
What I wont do, is change for you.
I wouldn’t let you go without letting you know why.
And normally I wouldn’t ask you to change but I think you suck.

Just_being_mean
JDK
JDK
Jan 7

Sometimes when a person is talking to me
And what they're saying is particularly uninteresting
They might get the feeling that I'm not listening
And it's true
Because, mentally, I'm replacing the words they say with a repetition of the phrase:
Validate me!
Validate me!
Would you date me?
Masturbate me?
Won't you please?
Will you maybe?
And I stare back at them, stone-faced, while thinking:
No

Now Igonna teach ya how to jerk
βέƦẙḽ Dṏṽ

Der are terrible judgments on dose
dat dare to come test I&I;!
My dreadlocks are my spiritual antennae
dat reach into da heavens
locking into YAH's
hundred-million megawatt signal.
YAH commanded me to take my Ible,
my Iphone, my Ipod, my Ipad
my Iwomen, my Ikids, my Iherb
and get da hell out of dat evil Babylon.
Sugar say,
"It's not the dread upon your head,
but the love inna your heart,
that mek ya Rastaman."
The love inna my heart
is the Zion within
and without the within how can
Ienter the New Yerusalem,
the Heavenly Zion without?
Igive tanks for life and the mighty life giver,
Holy Emmanuel I Selassie I Jah Rastafari.
Ipray for Peace, Love, Righteousness,
Joy, Clean Food, Clean Water,
Health, Rewarding Work,
Clothing, Shelter and Bounteous
Herb for all the peoples of da Earth.
                       Now Igonna teach ya how to jerk
dat not too shabby chicken.
First ting ya gotta do
is steal a chicken...

IRastaman's Recipe: IJerk dat Not Too Shabby Chicken
Serves 1 World
Separate checks please

1 onion
4 cloves of garlic
1 tbsp allspice
1 Scotch bonnet or red chilli
3 tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp black pepper
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
4 sprigs of thyme
Juice of 2 limes
1 tbsp Maldon sea salt
1 free-range chicken, jointed

For da salad sides:
1 tin red kidney beans
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 ripe avocado
2 fennel bulbs
1 organic unwaxed lemon

To make the marinade, peel and quarter da onion and peel da garlic cloves. Place both in a blender or food processor with da allspice, chilli (deseeded if you want less heat), sugar, black pepper, vinegar, thyme leaves, lime juice and sea salt. Blitz to a paste.

Using gloves, rub da paste really well into da chicken pieces, covering dem thoroughly, den place in a container or sandwich bag and put in da fridge. Leave to marinate for at least 2 hours.

Preheat da oven to 180C/Gas Mark 4. Place da chicken pieces skin side down on a baking tray. Roast for 30 minutes, turning over halfway through. Set aside, covered in foil, while preparing da side dishes.

Preheat da grill. Drain da beans, season and drizzle with 1 tbsp of da oil. Scoop da flesh from da avocado, mash and season. Place da fennel bulbs in a food processor with da lemon. Season again and dress with da remaining oil.

Place da chicken skin side up under da hot grill. Cook until beginning to blacken and da skin is crisp. Serve with da salad sides.
IYummy!

Now Igive you some jokes to spice up da dinna conversation:

10 Things You Will Never Hear A Rastaman Say

1."No wifey, tek my car instead."

2."Waiter, this steak is overcooked."

3."She 'ave a nice body.... but 'ar bottom too big."

4."Wha'apen Mr.Deejay, you cyaah play some calypso?"

5."Di pill doan gree wid mi wife so ah gweh get a vasectomy."

6."No sweetie, ah cyaah tek anodda whites (rum), mi haffi drive all de way to Kingston and it dark and wet outside."

7."Some ah mi closest friend dem gay."

8."Size dont matter."

9."Yeah mi eat under 2 foot table."

10."Nuff Respect to Brian Lara."
#love   #world   #jerk   #rastaman   #rasta   #chicken   #marley   #jamaica  
   Now Igonna teach ya how to jerk
βέƦẙḽ Dṏṽ

Der are terrible judgments on dose
dat dare to come test I&I;!
My dreadlocks are my spiritual antennae
dat reach into da heavens
locking into YAH's
hundred-million megawatt signal.
YAH commanded me to take my Ible,
my Iphone, my Ipod, my Ipad
my Iwomen, my Ikids, my Iherb
and get da hell out of dat evil Babylon.
Sugar say,
"It's not the dread upon your head,
but the love inna your heart,
that mek ya Rastaman."
The love inna my heart
is the Zion within
and without the within how can
Ienter the New Yerusalem,
the Heavenly Zion without?
Igive tanks for life and the mighty life giver,
Holy Emmanuel I Selassie I Jah Rastafari.
Ipray for Peace, Love, Righteousness,
Joy, Clean Food, Clean Water,
Health, Rewarding Work,
Clothing, Shelter and Bounteous
Herb for all the peoples of da Earth.
                       Now Igonna teach ya how to jerk
dat not too shabby chicken.
First ting ya gotta do
is steal a chicken...

IRastaman's Recipe: IJerk dat Not Too Shabby Chicken
Serves 1 World
Separate checks please

1 onion
4 cloves of garlic
1 tbsp allspice
1 Scotch bonnet or red chilli
3 tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp black pepper
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
4 sprigs of thyme
Juice of 2 limes
1 tbsp Maldon sea salt
1 free-range chicken, jointed

For da salad sides:
1 tin red kidney beans
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 ripe avocado
2 fennel bulbs
1 organic unwaxed lemon

To make the marinade, peel and quarter da onion and peel da garlic cloves. Place both in a blender or food processor with da allspice, chilli (deseeded if you want less heat), sugar, black pepper, vinegar, thyme leaves, lime juice and sea salt. Blitz to a paste.

Using gloves, rub da paste really well into da chicken pieces, covering dem thoroughly, den place in a container or sandwich bag and put in da fridge. Leave to marinate for at least 2 hours.

Preheat da oven to 180C/Gas Mark 4. Place da chicken pieces skin side down on a baking tray. Roast for 30 minutes, turning over halfway through. Set aside, covered in foil, while preparing da side dishes.

Preheat da grill. Drain da beans, season and drizzle with 1 tbsp of da oil. Scoop da flesh from da avocado, mash and season. Place da fennel bulbs in a food processor with da lemon. Season again and dress with da remaining oil.

Place da chicken skin side up under da hot grill. Cook until beginning to blacken and da skin is crisp. Serve with da salad sides.
IYummy!

Now Igive you some jokes to spice up da dinna conversation:

10 Things You Will Never Hear A Rastaman Say

1."No wifey, tek my car instead."

2."Waiter, this steak is overcooked."

3."She 'ave a nice body.... but 'ar bottom too big."

4."Wha'apen Mr.Deejay, you cyaah play some calypso?"

5."Di pill doan gree wid mi wife so ah gweh get a vasectomy."

6."No sweetie, ah cyaah tek anodda whites (rum), mi haffi drive all de way to Kingston and it dark and wet outside."

7."Some ah mi closest friend dem gay."

8."Size dont matter."

9."Yeah mi eat under 2 foot table."

10."Nuff Respect to Brian Lara."
#love   #world   #jerk   #rastaman   #rasta   #chicken   #marley   #jamaica  
You are a JERK!!!!!
Junebug
Junebug
Oct 15

I sat waiting for you but you never showed
I waited and waited to celebrate this day with you
But you were no where in sight
I called your cell but you didnt pick up
Why didnt you tell me why
If you didnt like me no more you could have told me
I spent my life trying to make you happy
and now your with the girl next door
I know she is attractive but what about me
The one you said you would never leave
The one you said you loved and would never let go of
What happened to all the promise you made
You broke my heart again its not the first time but its the last
You are a JERK!!!!!

critique all you want
rude and confrontational
gets an asshole blocked

i dont mind an honest, well meaning critique
of my work
but
as i stated in my bio
i don't tolerate big egos and
hard critics on my page
as someone just found out
it okay to put up with someone being a jerk to you
Sweetheart

Is it okay to put up with someone being a jerk to you
If you know they are broken?

 
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