All it takes
Is one look at
You and my heart is
Set off at
A million miles - per second.

The back of your head
Is enough to
Make my stomach
Twist in knots
For a few long hours. Plain giddy.

Well look at this,
Here I am
Perpetuating all
The stereotypes:
Welp, I think I fell

For my best friend - well done

Shoved deeper into this dark demented hole
So alone there's no one here to care or console
So I cut n I bleed n I hurt n I cry
I hate my life I just want to die
No one cares I'm alone and I'm lost
But I can't stop trying at any cost
I don't know what to say or what to write
This endless hole has no light
Only darkness that feeds on pain
Making me feel completely insane
These crimson pearls no longer help
I'm just a sorry sad *** loser welp

Who’s to say how
He might come back for a second
inhumanely heaped-up helping,
if we grant that immensity
of our assumption He did come
kingly first into this inside-
out size from a do-you-miss-me-
yet’s mirthfully mythical realm

I have seen Him
lurking in a particle-board fine
finish on the thin outer membranes
of our estranged and better faces;
He’s Higgs-boson omnipresent,
but far too theoretical
for our broadly practical, turned-
away gazes to rediscover

There He is now
rising in the favela’s gap-
toothed grins with fabulously naughty
corners this glee-pawed grandpa twists
using cur jests his ***** charges
imagine as flightless quarrels
grey-hooded pigeons would gaggle
were they over-stuffed on golden grain

And there again
on a Calcutta mound’s cluttered
conic end, smog-like He slowly lifts
with the crust-gnawed, razor-wire crimps
of a soup-can’s unconsummated lid
as dainty fingers crawl in toward
a gelatinous glob still clinging
to the powerful pretense it’s meat

And there once more,
conceding oms, He restless flickers
at the margins of blocky beige
Beijing screens as crisply clicked clacks
circumnavigate the darkling
smooth patches and spit-spark a few
conscious drips to squiggle out from
the babble of noxious red seas

Emerged, this welp
won’t toddle off to dribble-stain
the dressy linens of a made-up
nanny’s well-mannered and ornate
evil; it will curl up instead,
a swaddled yawn with no yearn to
suckle under His real mother’s
gaping wide and grungy bloused best

I hate you, parents
Yall hurt us the most when yall post to protect us
"Fight for your children!" Naw it's easier to neglect us
Tell grandma don't be afraid of me
Because my generation is reckless
We're labeled naive, wild and disrespectful
But to receive it you must first respect us
Mothers wonder why you bury strangers wearing daddy's necklace                      
Who thought it was good for them to want power and wealth?
Welp, you raised them like that now bury them by yourself
I was conceived to a house they already knew was broken and torn
They let me believe when I die
I'm going down in flames just to burn
I got health and mental problems  
I didn't ask to be this way
But guess I'm forced to live and learn.
For a beautiful death, that's all I pray

(edited, updated, bigger, longer, richer, and better than ever)
(hilz says hi)
#obviouslyshepaidme
#idonthaveamindofmyown


when your opponent’s husband
(who, by the way,
is an entirely different
human being
than his wife, and is not
running for president)
has an affair,
or is accused of
****** assault,
the claims are
absolutely
100% true.
the women
must be believed.
he* is
a criminal.

your candidate will go
so far as to invite
some of those women to
the debate to
shame his opponent,
and show
how *supportive he is
of these women.
(because they are
serving his purpose).

your opponent’s husband
is a liar,
a ******,
a pig.
absolute filth
that should be
thrown in prison.

in fact,
your opponent
is even worse than him,
she attacked
those women. she
didn't believe them.
this is proof of
her hatred
of women.
(oh, the irony is
not lost on me, no sir.)

(also,
let’s pretend that
your candidate didn’t call
that exact man, your
opponent's husband,
a “victim” in regard to
the exact same situation
in 1998.)

oh wait,
i forgot you don’t care about things that
happened any
longer ago
than yesterday. unless we
are talking about
the opponent. because then
OBVIOUSLY
it doesn’t matter
when in time
she said or
did something.)
duh.

(this is what we like
to call a double standard.)

moving right along.

if the same thing
happens to your
own candidate,
accusers come forward,
OBVIOUSLY
everyone else on earth
is lying EXCEPT
him. in fact,
every accuser (i lost
track of the number)
is an absolute liar,
too ugly for assault,
and getting paid
by a massive
worldwide conspiracy,
controlled by your
political opponent who
you also describe as never
having accomplished anything
in her life.
(strange how that works.)

when your candidate’s
wife does pretty
much the exact same
thing your opponent did,
(stand by her husband)
proclaim his innocence,
and discredit the claims,
(for which you
label her
a liar,
an enabler,
an enemy of women)
it doesn't matter
anymore, because it
was your wife
saying it.
think about that for a second.

i’m just checking, guys.
i’m just trying to figure this out.

-

you do not like
that your opponent
has money. or seeks power.
that makes
her a disgusting,
horrible,
conniving,
***** *****.
(and DEFINITELY
has nothing to do
with the fact that she is
a woman).

and i guess the thing
that we are all
pretending
(right? we are
pretending this?)
that
she has
more money
than he does.
(she doesn’t).

anywhoo,
but because she has money,
she pays off literally everyone
on this blue planet.

she's probably even
paying me right now.
i'm probably a liberal
operative,
born in a lab,
bred for vengeance,
and the destruction
of these united states,
and this is
the culmination
of my life's work.
i jest.

but in fact,
your candidate has
MORE money
than her.
at least he says he does.
of course to you
this does not
matter and you
see no contradiction
in your thinking.

we don’t even
consider for
a moment that
he pays
people off.
because, yeah,
billionaires don't
have any political
connections).
but how can we
even prove it?
he refuses
to submit his
tax returns to
the public, after saying
on record that he
would, but
don’t worry about that,
we don't care that he lies.
that’s not suspicious at all.
(for the love
of everything holy,
can you imagine the
fire and brimstone
if obama refused to
release his?!)
i mean it's so
ridiculous it makes me laugh.

alrighty then, moving along, once again.

when she
changes position
on a policy,
she is a liar.
a manipulator.
cannot be
trusted,
a flip-flopper,
being swayed by
special interests.

when he does it,
he is “evolving.”
i can't even say that
with a straight face.
(and let’s not for one
second pretend
he hasn’t flip-flopped
on almost every single
issue (guns, immigration,
foreign issues, his opponent,
nukes, wars, abortion, etc.).
see link at bottom for ***** and giggles.
-

she lies. she’s a liar.
we hate liars.

you use that
as your shield.

he never lies. (a-hem)
he LITERALLY LIES on
video, contradicting
HIMSELF, and his
own campaign,
within minutes.
not even years. minutes.

i mean geez,
it’s not like you
can scour
the internet for
proof or anything.

-

he respects women.
hmmm...let us
look at the evidence, shall we?

calls women accusing him of  ****** assault
ugly, out for money, liars. all of them.
because i guess
attraction = rapeability?
(it does not)
(even though he admitted to doing whatever
he wants to do to women, without asking, in his
own words)
it's on record.

he talks about
young girls
in sexualized terms.
it's on record.

he agreed
that he doesn’t
respect women.
it's on record.

he agreed he was
a ****** predator.
it's on record.

he said it’s dangerous
for one’s wife to work.
it's on record.

he said he loses his
**** when
dinner isn’t on the table.
it's on record.

he said
he can do whatever
he wants to
women because he
is powerful
and rich.
it's on record.

women who
breastfeed are
disgusting.
it's on record.

he doesn’t like
flat chests
or fat girls
it's on record.

all women
are gold diggers.
it's on record.

he doesn’t like to
give a woman
negotiable assets.
it's on record.

dogs,
pigs,
it's on record.

he wants to
repeal roe v wade.
it's on record.

he bragged about
walking into
beauty pageant
dressing rooms
full of naked
teenage girls.
it's on record.

hmph. it’s so hard to
figure this out.

(if i could roll my eyes
any harder they would
pop right out
of my head).

these aren't even
ALL THE THINGS.
straight from
the man's own
godforsaken mouth, unedited!
not opinions.
facts.

-

although his campaign
has received millions
of dollars in free
advertising,
and his entire
life is based
upon being in
the media spotlight,

the entire media
is a left wing
conspiracy.

(unless they report
something positive.
then it's not a conspiracy
anymore, then it's true)

side note.
i guess if he wins,
we can expect to see
just a SERIOUS
overhaul of the election
process, you know,
because it's so rigged.
and the whole thing
will be brilliantly
torn down and remade
within 4 years,
and be without
criticism
before it's time
for re-election.
because he wouldn't
want us all to go
ahead and try to vote
for him again in a
rigged election.
he cares about us.

and the media will just
be torn to shreds,
you know, but still free
and everything is
going to be so fair, you guys.
i mean things are going
to be so fair you
are going to get sick of it.
and really,
he's a super sweet guy
if he accepts the
presidency in an
election he
knows
is rigged.
cuz that's what
any upstanding
citizen would do.

-

she is an insider.
(i.e., what some of us like
to refer to as a professional)

he has been
talking about
running for president
since the
1980’s,
but OBVIOUSLY
HE would never
take money
for favors.
HE hasn't been planning this.
HE would never
seek power.
HE would never
politicize things
for his own best
interest.
only politicians
do that, and
he isn't one.
HE is for
the working man.

-

please, tiny, sweet baby jesus
with tiny jesus hands
help me.

-

it’s not hypocritical
at all for
him to constantly
talk about how awful it is
that jobs are
going overseas,
even though he
does THAT EXACT THING
with his own companies.
jesus, guys.
obviously he's just SMART.
(really? is that the word
we want to use? is that the
word we use to describe other
business owners who do
the same thing? uh, no, it's not.
i'm pretty sure they are
compared to criminals,
and labeled unpatriotic.)

because if you
believe something passionately,
like you claim to,
like american goods should
be created and manufactured
in this country,
and you are a billionaire,
with vast resources,
that owns businesses,
employs people in this country,
and you love your country
and all it's people,
and you have a sense of
right and wrong,
you don't cheat.
you don't take advantage.
other businesses do it the right way
why can't you?
that's what IT ******* MEANS
to have principles.

he is an opportunist.
he takes.
see the difference?

-

when she
calls your supporters
a bad, bad thing
(a basket of deplorables?)
she is a
disgusting,
unpresidential,
elitist
***** that
can never
be forgiven.

he would never,
EVER even
think about
calling anyone names.
never ever.
(i seriously don't have
the time in my life
to even attempt to list all
the examples.) although
the new york times
did a pretty decent job.

but you do recognize sarcasm, yes?

-

jesus,
people shouldn’t get
so friggen offended
all the time!
he says.
being
politically correct
is stupid.
it’s better
to be honest, like him.
(except he's not honest)
he just says ALL
THE THINGS
we are ALL thinking
but don't have
the ***** to say.
(um...really? you can
count me out of
that particular
generalization.)

-

he is not weak,
or a coward,
or a liar,
or corrupt,
everyone
else
is.

he would never
get offended
by an snl skit
and cry like a baby
about it,
because that's absurd.

or claim
that literally everything
is unfair,
because that sounds
like a whining child.
(which his wife
compared him to).

-

when someone
accused him of rigging
a pageant,
he sued them.
because "proclaiming
fraud is serious."
the accuser is clearly
just a loser. a bad loser.
(that's what he said).
OBVIOUSLY this
does not apply
when HE
claims elections
are rigged.

also, he doesn’t care
that the GOP Primary
was rigged,
(whoops, did you
forget that was
rigged too?)
because he won.
(yep, he said that too.)

-

i see patterns here.
(i learned about patterns
in kindergarten.)

-

he spends
campaign funds
on his personal
businesses.
(we don't care)

sued
for unpaid taxes,
discrimination,
****** assault,
fraud,
ripping
people off.
(again, we don't care. actually,
all these things are
probably just
further proof of his
very level-headed,
thoughtful, and
superior intellect.)

bankruptcies,
failed businesses,
using charitable donations
to benefit himself,
(while viewed as bad
things for all other
human beings, are
actually strengths of his.
because up is down.
and quite frankly,
we.
don't.
care.)

has sued literally
thousands of times.
(i thought people
who sued all the
time were jerks?)
welp,
not him.

-

when other people
settle lawsuits
that is an
admission of guilt.
(yep, he said that)
(so did his campaign manager)

when he does it
OBVIOUSLY the
opposite is true.
and he's done it MANY times.

-

he mocked someone
with a disability.
it's on record.

-

he mocked someone
who is deaf.
it's on record.

-

he has made
disparaging remarks
about the military.
it's on record.

he incites and
encourages
violence.
again, on record.

i'm gonna go ahead and say,
not so much
into the brown people?
or the gay people.
or the woman people?
or the poor people.
or the fat people.
or the refugee people.
or the science people.
or military people.
or government people.
or journalist people
oh yeah, or education people.
or people that disagree with him.
or stupid people who pay their taxes.

but like, totally into
everyone else, like
white, male people.
that agree with him.
that are into violence.
and are rich.
and cheat the system.

he maybe sorta kinda
(ok, just flat out said it)
hinted at using the
second amendment
to **** his opponent.
on record.
god, you guys, seriously,
learn to take a joke.
because murdering your
political opponent is super funny.
i mean, it's fun, right?
it's especially funny in those
other countries. and for the murdered people.
it's not like kids are listening.
or like there are any crazy card carrying
white *** people
that think that might be a good idea.
gosh, get a grip.

said he could
shoot someone
in broad daylight and
wouldn't lose votes.
for realz? yes, for realz!

having one standard
for yourself
and the opposite standard
for everyone else
is dare i say,
the very definition of
i n e q u a l i t y.

if you think
you are
superior,
then just say so.
own that ****.

if you desire violence,
proclaim it.

if you desire inequality,
then shout it
from the rooftops.

if you think one
group should get richer
while others get poorer,
say it. support it.

if you think
women have no
value other
than the size
of their *******
and their *****,
by all means,
let us know!

because that's what he would do.
that's what he does.

don't hide behind
this excuse
of a man.

don't paint
yourself a
patriot,

regurgitate
outright lies
without doing
any research,

and don't think you
speak for
all of us.

because you don't.

pretending something is real
does not make it real.

i’m getting
tired of this.

hypocrisy
is gross.

I am smart
I am beautiful
I am kind
I am healthy
I am fit
I am loved
I am amazing


and I feel like crap

i Know we have Spoken
but one Mere night, yet
It felt like Days.
You were the bright
Star that lit Up my Sky
when It was the Darkest.
you made Me smile when
i Wanted to cry.

you made me Feel.
wanted.
Beautiful.
cared for.
Reversed what my Sister
made me Feel.  
turned the Worst night
Into the Best.

I wonder to myself, are you
an Angel? sent from God to
Make me happy?
Welp, when I think of you,
i can't help But to Smile.
Grin, like an Idiot.
^.^ << I use that face
WAY
TOO
Much.
When I talk about
You.

That's my face
i Use when I'm a
grinning idiot.

Welp, I stink at writing
P
O
  E
   M
    S
For people.
I've, never
Tried actually.
OH WELL.
There's a First
for
Everything.

Don't shoot!
Can't you see my white palms
Not the black end of my black hands
Guilty until proven innocent
That's the predicament I was raised in
When I walk onto the subway, privilege holds for dear life the bag her daddy gave her, and yes by privilege I mean white.
Because based on my skin I'm automatically framed as a thief that lives too cheap to afford the Kors bag that she has.
Don't shoot!
I just found out my dog passed and decided I'd run fast and hold her tight before her last gasp.
But since I'm black and I'm running, the pigs start coming after me as if I created a catastrophe since the mask of me is black.
They corrupt the laws, use excessive force and pin me down to the ground when I was just trying to get to my hound.
Don't shoot!
Yes my windows are tinted and my skin is a shade the same but when you pull me over I'm not to blame for the drug ring that has your people suffering.
I sweat in fear for my life as I see red and blue lights wondering if I will live to see tomorrow's sunlight.
Because based on my tints and my rims and my skin I must be some criminal uncaught.
So as privilege approaches my door I must place my white palms on the wheel and plead to retrieve my license from the passengers seat.
Don't shoot!
Because if I was white I wouldn't need to fight for my right to life.
And I wouldn't have to fear the man that society told me would pull my hand if I raised it in a plea for help and welp,
That just isn't the case so based on my race I must remain on thin ice for the rest of my black life, yelling
Don't shoot!

Today while I was at work,
an elderly couple came through my line.
Their faces were heavily wrinkled,
aged over time.

The man greeted me kindly,
asking for paper and plastic.
His voice was rough, raspy, and weak,
and most certainly unenthusiastic.

As I bagged his groceries,
I watched as he talked with his wife.
The woman he had to chosen to be with,
for the rest of his life.

Once we were done ringing up his food,
he reached out to pay.
His hand trembled when he extended it,
as I continued to survey.

"Debit?" he quivered with uncertainty,
as the cashier kindly took his card.
"Just confirm and sign right there." she said,
as he concentrated very hard.

Bent over slightly, eyes squinted,
he shakily signed his name.
A receipt printed, and was handed to him,
"Alright, have a great day."

I turned to the man and his wife,
and smiled as they smiled back at me.
"Thanks kid, don't work too hard!",
he said to me gleefully.

I nodded and smiled as they slowly waddled away,
and headed out the door.
I watched as they left, out of my sight, and thought,
there has to be more.

There has to be more to this measly life,
than just what I can see.
There has to be more to this pathetic life,
which means nothing to me.

The thought of death, it scares me so,
and leaves me shaking in fear.
My mind is clouded, thoughts a blur,
nothing seems to be clear.

The thought that someday when I'm old,
I'll wake up and think to myself,
"Welp, this is the end of the line,"
is really something else.

Because to be quite honest, I don't want to have to think,
"this is the final stretch."
I would rather not have to confront,
such an evil as death.

I don't want to face a wrinkled face,
brittle bones and a deteriorated mind.
I don't want to grow old, or die alone,
or face the powerful Father Time.

But then I remember what I saw today,
and it makes me realize how I will survive.
The man had a love, his wife, his soul mate,
which kept him alive all along.

So I will face my wrinkled face,
and I will face brittle bones.
I will face my deteriorating mind,
and I won't face them alone.

I will love you all my life,
and I will make you my wife.
And we will fight Father Time,
together, side by side.

Resisting arrest by the things I detest.
I've relinquished control of my mind's steady pulse to some of the best
People I know,
Yet, still I must quest to repay all that I owe
To myself.
Not to put on display in a sideshow, but to let go
To the wayside what prevents growth in the daylight.
At night I  float through the bay side as a ghost manifested from an ad-hominem homicide who no longer harbors the lies inside.
Not by choice, but because the transparency of his hyde forces everything off his chest.
That's Hyde with a Y, in case you didn't catch.
A way to separate the enemy from whom I can trust will continue to ride on straight with his eyes on the prize,
Because even though most of the time while I'm speeding on by I can realize when I'm fooling myself,
Sometimes it still helps to have another set of eyes I can confide in when I fall to my pride, and welp, honestly, I'm really good at lying.
All snideness aside,
I constantly subside the urge to spin so many stories like I used to.
I abide to unifying the narrative and the truth.

  The book is written by my steps, traced in ink.
It revolves around the fearlessness experienced amidst the dereliction of my inhibitions.
Inhabiting this world is sooo much stranger than fiction.
I was served red herring on a silver platter so often that I could no longer ******* own predictions on the matter.
The predication of my subject crashed to the floor and shattered with a clatter,
All the while the next course was being served over the chatter.
The false leads left me feeling salty;
Depleting my energy, sinking into a state of emergency with a deficiency of Vitamin C.
Scurvy, you see?
A line graph charting mental health as curvy as the sea.

  Digressing from this literary diversion I will return to the exploitation of the exposition of this version of the story with positively depressing times formed in the retrospection of faded moments of glory,
During which I was jaded by the very idea of my lovers' life stories.
I tried to write and I tried to paint,
But the page and the canvas weren't blank so I was left with a jumbled mess of mistakes that acted as constraints to my best traits.
The epiphany that would have solved the last case always showing up a minute too late.

I've learned to live in the present tense and take each clue as it comes
and sharpen my sense of intuition instead of letting my paranoia blossom into fruition every time my expectation doesn't fall in line.
I'm here now within the sublime.
I'll Be Here Now Ram Daas, all of the time.
Life is strange, and that's no crime.
I'm strange too, and that's just fine.

God has an iPod
that syncs prayers.
It's a miracle he ever gets to
listen to any.
But he does,
and over eternity
he has become a little more
deaf.
He even issued a new commandment:
Thou shalt pray louder.
Did you not get the memo?

Well, he can't turn up the volume anymore
so pray louder.
There's the memo.

But praying louder now
probably won't do much good.
He's deaf
and his headphones are busted
and- last time I checked-
he didn't leave any guidelines
for submitting prayers in writing.
Welp, I guess we're *******.

2:57 am
Welp
Guess what?
Sleepy time HP friends!!!!!!

(:
Nightie night night (::::::

I’ve heard that some see the world in poetry,
And that some see the world in prose.
Some stop to cry out “Oh, woe is me!”
Some just think “Welp, that’s just the way life goes.”

Some things just don’t go the way you plan,
Some things just fall apart or they break,
Baked goods aren’t always perfect out of  the pan.
Think your life is bad? Someone else’s may take the cake.

Sometimes life really is awful, it’s okay to complain,
Sometimes the more one runs, the more one tumbles,
We often get bruised and feel all kinds of pain,
But alas, sometimes the ball just fumbles,
And we watch the way the cookie crumbles.

The cookie always crumbles in uneven fragments,
So naturally someone always get a bigger piece,
But I’ve found that life has a way of finding its balance,
And when I am alone at night, it brings me peace.

I don't feel like i'm going to find
the one thing i need,  because i feel blind
because there's alot going on in my mind
in way tht goodness is always beside you
happyness is waiting for you
it's just right there
you don't need to go anywhere
you can smell't everywhere
the one thing that the #Deadman ..need
is a sign , to feed , his heart again....  
Welp........ i hope she read... !

****.
How can I explain.
****.
I I sound insane.
Shush.
I know someone can hear me.
Umm.
They surely see this insecurity.
Welp.
I'm sorry I freaked out there.
Sigh.
I just keep trying not to care.

words
words
words
big or small, odd or ordinary
how many do you know
made of one or several letters
you can put them in a row

to make a question or a thought
asking, telling as a sentence ought

words
words
words
come in many forms
lots of vowels
or just one or two
a, e, i, o, or u

words
words
words
keeping track of how much they're used
every year they add a few
like this year's embiggen and mansplain
dumpster fire came along too

wanderworts, bandwidth, kambucha
schnoodle, chiweenie, yorkie-poo
cryptocurrency, bitcoin and welp
hate-watch, subtweet, glamping, too

here's my favorite of the eight hundred fifty -
not to make too much of a fuss -
but wordie's a great add to the dictionary
feels like it was put in just for us

Welp, I guess that's all I needed
Just to get out and talk to someone
Idk why I push myself so far into a corner
When it's so easy to just get someone to talk to
Even if its little conversations that don't go anywhere
But when I can find someone who's really going to listen and pay attention
That's when I can get all my admitting out
And finally face my problems
Because I'm not alone
Words make the thoughts real
Writing it all down helps but it's not enough for me apparently
I need to learn how to talk about things
I need to learn that there are people that care about me
Even if the head count is only three
They don't mind listening to me talk
And thats where I get myself
People want to hear me
The whole "company" thing is what everyone needs
At least sometimes
I can't just be alone
I can't do it
I need the comfort of someone else's presence
Even if we're quiet and not doing anything
If we're in the same room doing different things
Just KNOWING that someone is there
That's what I need
And if talking to that person is easy
Then I'm set
Someone to just be like "Hi"
And start something
For some reason it's impossible for me to start a conversation
I don't know why I'm so ******* myself
I don't know why I shut myself off from the world
I don't know why I beat myself up so badly
It could be so easy
But I'm so stubborn

Soaking up chemicals just to feel numb
Freezing your mind in pure seconds
Just to wait for emotion to come
My veins are the ones wrecking

Sleeping for too long just to feel escape
Stopping your breath from the future
But all there is is ****** torture
But all the love I was allowed to give turned to fewer

Screeching and scratching away at craving
Digging just to see if your time is over
But under water I feel like I'm saving
My own lungs from making a routine of combusting

No one can help to end the battle
No one can understand to even help
But my scars prove I tried to ask
But people are blind if they only look on your skin for them
Even though your pain is at welp

What are you trying to prove?
Why are you so stubborn?
This hardened shell of yours is not normally you.

Just let me in,
I promise to help,
I know you ****** up
when you said "Welp,
I'm done here"

Hey,
I still have your sweatshirt.
Your comfy, and big sweatshirt.
I really don't plan on giving it back,
And I don't think I should.
Since you disappeared,
And left my life.
Do you want it back?
Welp, too bad.
Because it's mine now.

If Santa Claus snuck up on you,
would you be ready?
Don't look so haughty,
cause if you get caught bein naughty
Santa's gonna get you good, buddy.
Better shorten that list sonny.
He ain't much for greed.
Ask for a **** pony,
might get the whole stampede.
What would you do
If he snuck up behind ya,
leaned into your ear and whispered,
"I GOTCHA!"?
Better be on your best behavior.
Bein good should be your goal.
Don't think your slick.  You best be careful,
unless you like bein given coal.
Look at you bein all ornery,
fussin and yellin, duckin and dodgin.
You ain't foolin no one but yourself by
sayin, "Santa ain't watchin."
You already know he's gonna write that one down.
Man, Santa's been watchin all year round.
But you did what you done, just know that he's knowin.
Welp, at least you'll be able to keep the fire goin.

My head consumes me
for a moment I don't think
that I am alright,
for a moment
I think of the dirt on the floor
realising that maybe they
are someone else's ashes.

How rude of us to step on them
how rude of me to believe
that I am more superior
simply because I am alive.

I gather my thoughts.
The dirt on the floor is not ashes.
It is my dignity.
***** and broken into pieces.

Insecure seeps in as I realize
my dignity is no longer with me.
I fall to the floor
head in my hand
and I welp,
hoping for someone to find me
someone to realise
that I am not alright.

But of course,
no one does.

Get out or peel
Cause the sunken place is real
Even at a family meal
My passion for isolation
Isn’t wrong
try being Bambi
And the gun
Then tell your son
Why you always run
But let me rewind
Cause Nas needs a retake
My passion for isolation
Needs a dissertation
So you can get my full explanation
Simply put
my deer and I
Going to put you snakes in a ninja
Now ****** hit the blender
And tell that ginger with the shakes
That your cyclops can die
like a great scott
But back to the plot
The blood in my veins
Is full of spaghetti lanes
Cause at every junction
Is my destruction
My last name is stained
So I will break the glass
Then piece it back
With a x cause my family tree
Needs a axe cause
They act but only on a razzie level
So lets give the gremlins revel
Cause I know the devil
Fires and brimstone at home
Y’all see why I rather be alone?

I didn’t have fans like fran
Or friends like Ross
So why do I feel lost
Since in friendship I always get
Mossed
They have a Patton on my name
So they **** at it to drain
My money always generous with bands
They bless hands
but y’all don’t stand
Like your a Kaepernick man
Cause y’all see me as Stan
So let me help you understand
Dear my friends that always had my back
I hope you eat this kinda like snack
Cause once you see this you might here
A smack
Let’s hop in you hoopty dare or die?
I was being weird but so what
I’m careless guy
So let’s drive to train track park
Then see my reply
Cause I wouldn’t even had killed them
That’s for it Hennessy to decide

Last is Venus which ruled my penius
But ruined my genius
I had life by the throat
but its me too now
So I have to listen to her and not poke
Curves are fun and breast are too
But what happens when they crash into you
Not a Emmy more a semi
Cause I wrote the screenplay
that got you remi
That got you furs coats and houseboats
But you keep taking tokes
Welp I hope you choke
I take 4 branches from my tree
Then add 12 fallen leaves let’s see
That’s 16 but I need 2 nuts to roast
That’s 18 then add 2 more let’s toast
That’s 20 or lions a dream
Then burn it down cause
I had to Barry them to save my team
So my conviction
is pick up your eviction
I’m already past it like Drake after Quentin

my head hurts and it makes me think that when i go into work ill be less of a good worker but IRL im just as good as a worker, in fact even a better worker, WITH the headache because the headache is a telling of times that I'll die soon so i™eans i work to the extent of my ability so quickly that i am actually da best frigckin worker around so even when theb osses at the end of the day are like her eyou go dude here are the promotions im like hmm no thanks im going to die soon so you should give it to someone who needs it, like all of my other coworkers, so they dvivide the bonus and they all end up with an extra nnickel added to their pay check but then i dont die, i end up being alive the next morning with the same headache and im like welp guess i gotta just deal w/ it and drink some water and eat a food lol

Please forsake me for I have sinned,
Singe'd the rustic metal with sterile flame,
Blood burnt off the edge,while iron waft the air
In my right hand holds danger, in my left nothing
Nothing but the sadness in what I see,
Metal to slice, forever marking me...
Blood trails run down my wicked wrist
Slowly moving..... The everlasting drip
Deathening feels fatally turn me pale
Pestering me to return my scale,.....
Set me apart from the rest,...

They judge me not for me
But for what I've become
Beseech thee as I make my cup
Cuffing my leg to a chain and ball,
As I huff either, the everlasting high,
Hurting me, only to mess with me
Melting my kidney, kindling the fumes that
Set me apart from the rest,...

Lift me like love lifts life,
Leave me behind in this past to which I write,
Repeat your ways which welp you
Yell at me for I have done you wrong
Writhe the dividend to which I owe
Give me love, give me life
Leave me behind so that I kindle my time
Tell me I'm not bliss,
I forever hold my dagger with a sharp grip,
Give me power, give me strength
Stealthfully **** the hype,
hypocrisy heathes these hollow halls,
Set me apart from the rest,...

Watch as I cut these lines,
White as snow, it overloads the mind
Mind the razor ripping apart the rocks,
For blood shows when blood clots,
Cliche to say but those lines had been cut,
With that precious liquid gold...... Either.....
It burns, the feeling ever so old......
Judge me not for the bad I have done
Look at me in that finer light.....
Set me apart from the rest,...

It's about a girl again, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah it is.

Is she different from the rest?

Yeah, yeah she is.

Does she know?

Funny enough, yeah she does.

Welp, here's to a different one

Yeah, yeah it will be

Cuffing season?
Welp my dating season joke just got retired
What is love

cannot publicly acknowledge the existence of angels,
Such an outrageous act has been outlawed by the council.
So here I am to tell you about these nonexistent beings.
They come from a place called heaven, a serene place
Lying in the clouds that do not fade; they are everlasting.
In heaven they soar free, using their feathery wings,
Which glisten like scheelite in the eternally dawning sun.
Their halos are a gold, 10 carats more pure than the element,
And seemingly glow, even in the most minimal light.

And their souls, as pure as a diatomic gas,
As white as the everlasting magnesium flame.
But most importantly, their souls glow like the firey sun,
Always ready to make us happy, and eternal in existence.

But I once again forget, as a note is passed my way,
That “angels,” in fact, “do not actually exist”
Signed,
The council.
It also says to stop talking about these forms,
Or I will be detained... then executed...
Welp, that’s a sour note to leave on...
Bye.

[Alright, I’m in.]

                           [Oh, goodness.]

[Well, that’s quite the scene you’ve made, X.]

                          [****** under the guise of suicide?]
[And despite that, you STILL couldn’t even do that right, dismembering the poor corpse?]
[In an abandoned warehouse?]
[Really?]
[While this whole scene is borderline grisly, I can’t help but laugh.]

[Ahaha....]

[I really did write this into existence, didn’t I?]

[A lover turned murderer.]

          [God, this is getting heavy. think i’ll stop with the sad stuff for now.]

          [Especially after seeing what I created, and the trouble it’s caused.]


[Wait, what was that?]

[Is that...]

[It is!]

[X is trying to get back in.]

[Welp, that’s out of her grasp, even with her power. So as long as i stay in here, I should be safe.]

[Ahahahah. She’s probably swearing like a sailor, wanting my head on a silver platter, huh?]

[Though I can’t hear or see you, I can sense you.]

[And I’m sorry to say that this game you have made is one you cannot win.]

Sitting in this room mad as hell.
It's raining outside. I'm jealous.
Why?

I was deprived of my O.
Selfish lover he is.
I was ****** that she gave him a teaser of water and he just ran with it.
All he needed whether I was in tune or not.

I don't know why tonight I thought it'd be different.
Welp.
He invaded my insides as I begged for compassion.
Came as a courtesy as if that's what I wanted.
WHAT ABOUT ME

Always about him
His positions
His requests
His needs

What about me

I should've gotten drunk for this
Depriving me of my O.
I could've stayed at home
Gave myself my O.

I wonder how he'd feel if he woke up just to find me fixing the mess he made.
Is that rude?

Because Maxwell is playing in the background saying
now his part is over
BUT WHAT ABOUT ME

Thundering outside
Then there's me