Simple yet delicate findings come to mirror my emotions (m)
I have half a notion to hide from them, like I do my reflection (n)
The coarse expectations from peers leave me drowning (m)
And I know I can't go around allowing them to control me (n)
If I walk the path that isn't made for me then there is no light that dwells in the dim tunnel
and the trouble is ,my tunnel is supposed to end with you, You're supposed to be the light that shines on me and right on through . I'll be the prism of colors you yearn for when depression hovers over you
Just a Vegas city boy
And a Kansas city girl
Sometimes they are never home
And Sometimes it makes me feel like an unopened expired bag of M&N;'s
Every time I hear the obnoxious,
mainstream slang "you fake"
I can't help but think
about how true it is
sure, sure, it's slang,
it's thrown around and not meant
to be taken seriously
But i look around
and see that all of my peers
are everything but what they describe themselves as
we are what we insult others of
They laugh, and joke, and help each other with work
but as soon as one leaves the table or the room,
they all turn on that one person.
My peers always have something that they won't say to your face.
People always ask me
if i'm okay, what's wrong, etc, etc, etc.
but don't they ever notice the behavior
of our peers? of themselves?
I notice my flaws all the time
I analyze my behavior all day
but the truth is
that I'm perfectly fine,
i'm just ranting, all day, in my head
analyzing the actions of others and those of myself
I cant bear to even talk anymore
because I know my peers now
i've analyzed their voice,
and i know that if i were to speak
i'd get shot down so much worse
than if i just sit here
and pretend i don't exist
If ya' can handle the pier pressure,
do whatever floats yer boat
and there'll be clear sailing ahead.
But, if ya can't,
you'll sink faster than a biscuit
at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
We all pay for life with death
So why worry about what's it between
Smile and drink this shit down
You ain't gonna live forever
So what you waiting for
Take the red pill first
Followed by two of these little blues
Snort this line and we'll ride the night
High enough to forget chasing dreams
What are you waiting for
I’m full of
that resides in my
these hedonists that slice
at my skin and my soul.
I’m old and tiredly awake.
The assholes won’t let me sleep.
They bite my guts with greedy teeth.
I become water…I become grain…
sowed by sadism and adultery.
into me and
I evolve into
something horribly new.
No more my artistic aura,
my classical sense—
Just a specter of gloom
and dust floating
in the structure of a self I can’t really recall.
This is my holy downfall.
Empathy goes a long way
with wusses, don't you think?
The tough ones don't have feelings
just razor-wire for guts and time-bombs for hearts
emotions replaced with Hulk smashes and knife gashes
"Let's be friends" she said
"We can chase air and lick butterflies"
He said "Only if you die first"
he only had dead friends
they smell amazingly disgusting and have WORMS for EYES!
He almost felt sad, he thought
but he realized it was just hunger
for scared screams and others' insecurities
impurites of rhythm and logic just soft chalk cells
washed away by urine from an angry bladder
getting madder and madder
maybe, if feelings were so prevalent.
Stop that. What are you doing? Dont you know that hurts?
When I look in those eyes I see no love.
The pain from the judment of your peering glance makes me feel there is no one above.
I act with aggression, how can you be so fucking blind.
To the child you raised has been kept in his own mental bind.
You punish not to help me but yourself but I guess thats fine.
It is no wonder why I am so selfish. How
to be cared for then would allow me to care now.
All my anger was for you to see,
how much pain I was in from not feeling that you loved and cared about me.
As I was only a child, how was I supposed to know.
But I understood words were meaningless though,
I grew attached.
How much more your actions could have soothed me so,
but there was no chance.
For you did not know your actions were so powerful
to have deflated my self worth and later my caring soul.
All I wanted was some form of validation, that I too existed among my siblings three. I just wanted to feel loved too so I could have shared all of me.