From Beth Ann Fennelly’s The Welcoming
“Distance was the house from which I welcomed you,”
…lacing the rosemary cream corset, humming underneath my breath
Church hymns, awaiting your arrival.
On the subway, I extended my jeweled hand to you
“Mein held,” and I welcomed you-
From that space between where delicate feet hit stomach sky and sea floor.
Sometimes I wish I could hear voices
Maybe then I wouldn't feel so lonely
My inability could be written off
I'd be a pathetic mess, as I am now
Only, then I'd have an excuse
I could live my life blissfully unaware
Of the outside world
All demands upon me would be erased
I'd die haunted and controlled
But happily submissive
Too lost, too dumb
To know anything better
Reside in me.
There is a void here.
There is no life here.
The doors are completely open.
But I don't remember keeping them open for you..
With your face covered in darkness
It is unforeseeable to look at my future
You stand tall with your sword
On your left side.
You are not welcome here.
I never said I desire death.
Though I do, inside my head.
Feel the lush green grass
seperate your toes
cushioning your soles.
The scent of spring blossoming,
wafting around you
the sweet scent of
yellows, purples, oranges and pinks.
Invited by birdsong and butterflies,
get lost in paradise,
warm sun on your face
painting the dawn in hues
of blues and golds.
It's nice to wake up next to you
A comfortable feeling
That I could get used to.
Rising whenever we please
Taking our time to get out of bed
A homey feeling, it puts me at ease.
Just as I am waking
I know you're next to me
And a smile is immediately forming.
I really could get used to this
Sleeping next to you
And receiving a good morning kiss.
I want it to last
But you cant stay in bed forever
I am hoping tonight comes fast.
So I can get close to you again
Hold you in my arms
And maybe the night wont end.
I love the scent of September,
The aroma of browning leaves in the air,
The soft crunch of them beneath my feet,
The sweet sun warming my skin to the perfect degree,
Combined with cool air surrounding.
I love the sight of the sunrise
As I trot the road at the break of the day,
Its rays dancing across the rainbow sky,
Its light dancing along unending hillsides
To the budding music of morning creatures.
And in this moment,
A moment filled with the serene unity of nature,
All I want is to venture into the middle of nowhere,
Scream at the top of my lungs,
And soak in the peace around me.
‘Tis the season for change.
THE day had set as I traveled down a road,
Intimate in its design, ‘twas narrow,
directed toward the setting, golden Sun,
which, softly glowing, slowly came to rest
upon the darkening valleys of this world.
The road was long yet well supplied with fuel,
or, signs were scattered pointing towards the fuel,
‘twas the duty of the rider on the road
to refuel lest he be lost in the world.
Yet as I rode my eyes began to narrow,
losing sight of signs 'til my coach did rest,
still, as I lost my pace set with the sun.
There, still, I sat and lost sight of the Sun.
Alone, I did not think to seek out fuel,
but I looked elsewhere for a place to rest.
In utter darkness I wandered from the road
into a wood, welcoming, less narrow
and filled with mysteries of a whole new world.
My heart pounded as I entered this world.
By now my mind, had but slipped from the Sun,
and it's warm glow on the road, (too narrow).
I was not limited by need of fuel,
like I had to work for on the narrow road,
But vices here offered me so much rest.
So deeper I wandered to seek out rest.
Rest, that would fit me best within this world.
In darkness there, out of view of the road
in dark, I felt the cold absence of Sun,
and there... I ached. My body called for fuel.
I looked around...my options not so narrow
as they were upon the road, (so narrow).
But, as I took my fuel and found my rest
in the wood... I ached as I ate the fuel.
Still I craved more, it hurt. Trapped now in this world
that seemed more like a cage. And for the Sun
I longed, as I remembered its warmth on the road.
So there I sit entrapped within this world.
I have the key and I can sense the Sun,
But..could I, now, return to that narrow road?
the hearts of men are cold and violent
so we turn to the hearts of women
their perfume assailing our nose
soft heartbeat like a choir of birds
no other woman can love me like you do
you nurse me when I'm sick
you love me when i'm losing
you never hate me
you helped me turn a corner
writing a new chapter
book number three
you'll always love me
you praise me when i'm calm
you stand in my way when i'm going crazy
i fall deeper in love
no regret for tearing my heart out
you give me no reason to hate
smile from ear to ear
gaining sanity i never had
i worship you like a goddess
the tears come freely
relief like no other
my heart was cold
making me blind
a heavy fog lifting
i see the world happy and smiling
welcoming the first sunrise
i love you with all my heart
never will i allow you to leave
marriage i ask
till death of our death shall we part