Barton D Smock
Barton D Smock
May 2, 2014

I am three pages into the most honest letter I’ve ever composed to a brother when I realize I’ve been writing with my finger.  I tell my daughter it isn’t crying if you’re drinking.  she’s asleep.  it’s there she hears a piano.  sees a typewriter.

so i need to make up my mind. death or wellness?
madison
madison
21 hours ago

so ive been thinking about ending my life a lot lately. nothing seems real anymore. i just feel so, so worthless. ya know? i dont know how to handle anything anymore. i used to try to be happy, but i kinda just gave up. ive tried hopelessly to recover but nothing seemed to work. the coping skills, they let me down. they dont work. my antidepressants, they make me feel worse. i just dont know how to cope with my emotions, and i dont think i ever will. so i need to make up my mind. death or wellness?

( the wellness of my mother
Barton D Smock
Barton D Smock
Apr 1, 2013

the doctor
wore secretly
a nightgown
and poured
a glass of milk.

     his wife

disappointed
she had not seen
a ghost

     remained his wife.

-

( the wellness of my mother
  does not need
  my mother
  nor does
  the wellness

  of yours )

-

if you see a white mouse
in a dark city

a light
for which
I have kept
vigil
goes on
in my son’s head…

take away the orchid
from the sill

watch the shadows
fill

close the window on your day

as the lights
fade

pull the curtains
go to bed

put the pillow on your head

they’re coming in
they’re coming in

again

#fear   #life   #dreams   #night   #wellness  
Miguel Muller
Oct 29, 2014

Sick
Painful
Congested
Sinus Pressure
Up all night coughing
Losing sleep til morning
Next day many body aches
Off to Urgent Care I go
Ear infection diagnosed
On antibiotics
Going home to rest
Feeling better
Coughing less
Smiling
Well

~Miguel

the water in the water
tank drips

the waters isn’t water
for my lips

the water is
the drips

somewhere deep within
the level slips

over

#fear   #doubt   #life   #sleep   #personality   #wellness  
Miguel Muller
Nov 13, 2014

Walking along an
Autumn afternoon
in New York
where in New York
somewhere upstate
somewhere downstate
somewhere leaves fall
in front of where
I approach
but land as a crash
like a stray piece
from construction
high above.

An afternoon
where dreams
of new
where visions
of more
than just a few
begin to fade
to black
as the sun’s
signature upon my
eyes
recluses from
the greyer skies.

Now lost in New York
I attempt to recover
and sojourn forth
from where I had
been to somewhere
somewhere different
somewhere inspiring
somewhere that brings
out the best
of not just a few
but all the rest
who wish
who dream
who ignite
like fire
as the presence
of Autumn’s
dimming light
truly and finally
does expire.

~Miguel

#dream   #wish   #inspiration   #bold   #light   #warmth   #changes   #inspiring   #motion   #wellness  

My Heart of Glass

It lays there's safe on a pillow of feathers

Laying there cold

Cracked and full of holes

But where is the Glassmith?

The one who can fix this fragile heart

Where is she to close the cracks

To fill in the holes

Who will mend my glass heart?

Laying cold among the feathers

#love   #heart   #mental   #emotion   #health   #glass   #emotional   #fragile   #careful   #wellness  
Miguel Muller
Nov 3, 2014

Through happiness
through sadness
we walk
the journeys of life.

We do not know how
we do not know why
a plague
a sickness
an epidemic
ever begins
what was it
that changed
as it was not
there before
anywhere
in Africa
just a while ago
but now it is
and how it is
we may never know.

We do not know why
the bullets are chosen
again to fly
even when the media
“tells us why”
the knowledge
does not
wipe our tears
dry
it does not
prevent
the next
who will die
no matter
how much
the hospitals
try.

Let us pray
let us hope
as we journey
together
for healing
of the body
of the mind
and a better path
chosen
by those of
the destructive
kind.

 
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