Fat and disgusting,
the manatee eats and *****
with endangered grace.

Choreographed fits
awaken society
to its slow decline.

Politicians race
to win the seat but forget
how to act like men.

Why isn't there a
sociopath filter built
into the system?

The shouting face of the sea
Ravages rocks on the toes of the beach
Seashells glued to glass
laminate the reflecting rays of the baking sun  
A pebble preaches to a mountain
Underneath an electric dream
Galvanize my heart,
It needs a jump-start
Stuck in a frozen tundra of fallacy
Chasing broken tragedies
I told her
I tried
Nothing seems to change the mind
So I guess I’ll have to lie
Praying a lion’s smile
captures her immaculate eyes
But my summer’s luck lacks the ability to clear cloudy skies
Now I am alone in a misty meadow
With taciturn trees
Yet you were like the warm belly of a manatee
And I was a calloused heart  hoping for a remedy

It's early,
And yet I see the faint glimmer of the future,
It's undulating just over the horizon like a sea cow;
Adorable and ignorant.
A heavy beast, capable of violence,
And in need of protection.
I hope I have the strength.

I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of a vulture. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the ***** whale, and the ***** whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.

I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where we once were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me as I am discovering this.

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world.

I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.

I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.

Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.

Life will never end when you are in it.”

There are not enough
   poems about manatees
If you are interested in human
   rights being kicked like a dog
   and justice being dragged
   through mud, you can find it
If you are interested in love
   that aches with a “burning
   heart” or a “bleeding soul”
   you can find it
If you are interested in death
   that holds out its hand
   to you like relief, or takes
   one too early, you can find it
But where, I ask, do you find
   a badger in a turtleneck?
Or a cup of coffee that doesn’t
   sound so self important?    
If you’re interested in the
   ocean or the sea or maybe
   a single “crushing wave
   of emotion,” you can find it
If you’re interested in God
  dying to save you, or God
  abandoning you to the darkness
  you can find it
If you’re interested in athletics—
   especially running towards
   dreams and horizons—and
   losing and winning, you can find it
But where, I ask, do you find
   a good left-handed centipede?
Or a wonderful, ice cold beer that
   doesn’t turn into alcoholism?
If you want to find a poem about
   how the “gray rain spills from
   the clouds like the pain”
   you can find it
If you don’t want to find a poem
   about rain you’ll still find it
   (cause those rain poems
   are everywhere)
If you’re looking for a poem
   about regret and forgiveness
   and cruel mercy making false    
   promises, you can find it
But where, I ask, do you find
   a barbarian ballerina?
Or a cigarette whose smoke doesn’t
   outline the shadows of a lost soul?  
Show me these things, show me
   a fat manatee, and I will finally
   take a deep breath and smile

Not as eloquent
as a fountain pen,
not as artistic
as a sketching pencil,
not even as bright as a magic marker,
but one smart cookie to your kids.
We have cool names like
Cotton Candy, Manatee,
Razzmatazz and Inchworm,
and are non-toxic sticks of joy
to those little imaginations.

Yes, we sometimes look like
clumps of colored wax
smashed into tissue paper,
and we do break easily
or lose our wrappers at the drop of a hat,
then get tossed in a bag
or worse, become homeless.
And horror of horrors!
We’re reinvented as candles
or reheated into twisted zombies
of our former selves.

And neither do our achievements
reside in a museum or gallery,
why they're not even framed
and proudly displayed on a wall.
No, they're slapped on ***** refrigerators
and kept there by plastic alphabet
magnets that loosely spell
such mundane things
as ‘milk’, ‘cheese’ or ‘daddy is dumb,'
until they fall to the floor
or end up in the trash.

But hey man,
give us a break!
This is our plight,
it’s a harsh existence!
Perhaps we should organize,
form a union for children’s
writing and drawing utensils,
and thus ensure equality
for us crayons?

We realize, more than likely,
this poem's title will cause
some backlash by those
who insist it be called
‘Return of the Crayon,’
because we 'happy sticks', you see,
supposedly don’t take revenge.

Nonetheless, we stand by it.
It is what it is!
Your children love us
and so should you!

You stop what you are saying
as you stare at me...
You then say, "Well,
what of Humanity?"

My eyes go wide
as I reply, "Why?"
You say back to me,
"Because."

"OH! It's a manatee."

Exploring unforseen frontiers,
the Basil Confederate meets
a prayer called Monday.
Huddle your anticipation,
my Manatee is growing restless

I've always been poisoned at the words of people
Living in a world stuck between lesser evils
They told me I was unlovable for humanity
They would address me as 'you manatee'
And I just started believing that I was unlovable.

Unlovable is another name for a soul
Who will slowly and surely roam alone
Unlovable just means ugly, fat and pathetic.
And I agree with you all,
        I am unlovable...

Tell me now what time it is
Now I'll ask your dog the same
Not because they don't understand
No, they don't even know the day.
It's occurred to me that humans
Are the only ones that know our fate
We're the only ones that even care
Animals only care to procreate.
I've come to senses, got the math
And now I really see it all
I know exactly just how long I'll live
Know the memories I'll recall.
My fish doesn't know it's 11:32
And the giraffes don't get New Years
The only thing the rabbit worries about
Is The Turtle and The Hare.
We're the only ones that worry
About how soon we'll reach the end
If we're reaching to the heavens
Or if we'll be condemned.
It's solely us that understand
Our own mortality
Manatee's haven't got a grip
Time is our own insanity.
And if you boil it down to the very end
Ignoring all the rest
Time steals our mindfulness
He committed a real, true theft.
So now if you'll join me in forgetting
That I'm human and I will die
Let's forget that Time is really there
Escape with me, if you don't mind.

Internal Corruption
A ticking time bomb for a disastrous eruption
An endless tug-of-war
Your mind your body can’t handle this anymore
Swaying back and forth
Back and forth
Near your last gasp
There’s something to grasp
Your last bit of sanity
Like a calm plump manatee
It lays there firm
A foundation now can be set for the long term

I toss,

I turn,

Spirits lift,

only to crash and burn,

I would change

to de-spare

if I had any,

more than none.

Why are there people
who get angry and
foist a will,
an unkind will
on others till
they break and break
like fine china on a porcelain tile floor?

drama and conflict are enough and
of this world,
blood stained words
are hurled,
I hope they never make it to my place
of fantasy, where I write in peace holding still
like a manatee in the sea,
thank you, hello poetry.

If someone needs this time and space,
to unload the life that weighs them
down or drags them into the streets,
kicking and screaming as the part
that goes streaming by is the very
reason they hide their eyes in public
or slump into their seat as the verbal
or text abuse, puts nails in the hope
which waits in escape, just beyond
their fingertips and barbed wire voices...

but as for me, so isolated

I may not always rhyme
I may not have the right prose,
my surreal images might raise
an eyebrow, and my as
and like may need a metamorphoses,
to even be a metaphor,
but through all of you here
I get to visit a different shore
each time I open up a poem,
even if I don't know your name,
or maybe even who you really are.

I am glad you let me care.



©ClemC092013

She's so casual squishy,
that Velda Tautginas. Lithuanians
have the strangest names
but **** can they cook. Fine
figured woman too. That Marius
is sure a lucky man. I don't know
how he keeps the pounds off.
If someone was cooking me
kugel like that, I'd be fat as a
manatee. Gettin' close though.

Shoulda never moved to Florida.
It's so **** sticky, I can't bear
to leave the air conditioning. Still,
Id've never met the Tautginas
had I not moved to St. Pete's. Guess
I oughta get a treadmill or
one of them there Beachbody
workout videos. Hell Marius tells me
Velda's sister is recently widowed
and is moving here from Newark.
Bet she knows how to make,
kugel like that.

Your eyes are like diamonds
Before they were compacted
Your lips are as soft as a peach
Pit cut in half
Your skin is as white and smooth as paper
After it has been crumpled and singed
Your body is as beautiful as
That of a manatee
Don’t worry, maybe you look like a mermaid

from a distance

Odd-looking beasts are the manatee,
Who're not afflicted with vanitee.
     They don't care how they look
     When their picture is took
(Humans think this is insanitee).

I made a decision....
Not a good one. .. but mine to make. .
I fell in love with an addict. .
Someone that could never love me enough because there will always be ******...
I can make you smile. .
Hold you close. .
Kiss your face. ..
But I'll never get you out of this place. ..
All these plans we made. ..
Manatee kisses, arm licks,  t virus swapping. ...
Was it you?
Was it ever you? Those happy moments together?
How can you live in the dark?  
Shooting up In a bathroom?  Alone...
I wanted to save you. ..
You didn't tell me....
I didn't know it would hurt this way. ...
To save someone that would rather have a needle in their vein...
I never could give you that euphoricness..
I loved loving you....
Those good moments catch me up...
You said I saved you.... I never did
You've chosen that high over and over again. ..

E.J.M.

Flowing together like an ocean
A sea full of emotion
Peace, love, and unity
My new community
I am one with everyone
The night has just begun
I am not just having fun
I am glowing like the sun

I am connected to you
You are connected to me
When we flow together
We can finally flow free

There is enough space for the energy to go
There is enough heat for my cheeks to glow
There is friction-free transparency
I am you and you are me
As we are bobbing in this sea
I spot a rainbow manatee

He is followed by a neon dolphin
And a purple jelly close behind
As we join them in our swim
I lovingly lose my mind

Uniting with my forest fam
I transcend my narrow space
I am now part of I am
I am no longer behind my face

I am part of a greater being
Immersed in meaning
Life is fleeting
So no conceding
Dance unceasing
Merge with grace
To the human race
And find your place
Right where you are
No need for any effort
Effervescent in the dark
Tonight’s the night you light the spark
You shine until you blind
The dark eye that tricks your mind
That warps your intuition
Now you have x-ray vision
You see through false division
You have finally solved fission
You melt into everyone you love
As your mind transcends above
You bask in the radiant glow
Lovingly letting go, you flow

Hey Nichole I know you're mad.

I guess that's why I'm writing - just to say I'm sorry. Take care of my horses, my dad, and my mommy. I'm writing to you because I hope you'll understand. I know this isn't who I am. I know I had a plan, but lately the future hasn't been getting any clearer. Things about me have started to disappear. I'm beginning to lose sight of who I am. I'm a taken apart puzzle and all my pieces are second hand.
On the other side I'm not sure of what waits, but today I'm willing to risk hell fire for a chance at heaven's gates. I know I was a liar, a glutton, and a cheat - but I fall in love with something about everyone I meet. I'm banking on my love and empathy for my fellow man. I know God's a good guy. I hope he'll understand. Who knows, maybe this is part of his plan?
Maybe the beginning of their lives will be the end of my time. No one said it was fair but that's the bottom line. Life is painful, cruel, and unforgiving. Lately I've found it harder to find a reason to keep living.
I guess I should end this since I've started to ramble on, but this piece will be my last so it's allowed to be long. At the same time this isn't what I want you to remember once I'm gone. Please don't read it to my mom. She'll take it all wrong.
I hate to put this on you since I can't take it upon myself, but this is what I have to say to everyone else. Please remind them that I love them, that they made the good days of my life the best. Remind them that life will go on even after I'm at rest. To throw away the bad and smile about what's left. Even if they hate me tell them that's ok. That was what I was expecting when I decided to go away.
Leave out the part where I know that this was the coward's way out. The way that I spent years preaching about. Tell my dad that I wish I could've waited till he was gone, but that the nights were too long and that my hope had moved on. Tell my mother that God is with her and that he giveth and taketh away but that I will be there waiting when she gets to heaven one day.
For you children I leave only my regrets that I will not be around to see them when they are at their best, and that I know they will lead lives full of happiness. Tell them that I am proud and even when they're down I will be the person sitting on a cloud, cheering loud.
To all of my ******* friends. Nothing I can say will ever make amends. About them I almost feel the worst because out of all of us it makes no sense that I would go first. After all the drinking, the cigarettes, and tears I think they expected me to be there for another hundred years. Standing at their wedding or sitting by their bed. Never did they expect I'd be a voice inside their heads. Tell them that I believe in them and that they don't have to try their best if they can only manage less then they should get some rest. As hypocritical as it sounds remind them that this isn't the way and that life will only get better if you live another day.
To those in my life who held me in a lovers embrace there are so many things I should have said to them face to face. Like thank you for seeing beauty beyond all my faults. Thank you for fighting to get through my walls. Even when I was angry, or missing, or scared thank you for standing by my side even if you didn't belong there. There were many sacrifices that all of them made for love so deep that it had to be fate. I know now it's too late but I should've never made them wait.  I hate repetition but I'm sorry that I always leave for reasons you may never see that stem from my own insecurities. Those things that haunted me and sat behind my eyes from the way I always lied to the scars between my thighs. I love you I swear it to be true. I love you. I do. Through and through and through. You were enough even if I made you feel like less and in this life I wish you eternal happiness and I hope whichever woman holds you through the this life is truly the best.
And I'm so sorry Nikki that I lost all control so far away when you didn't even know, and I know I could've called you and you would've come to take me away. I thought about it each and every day, but what can I say. We had the conversation at least a hundred times the reasons I was chained here all came down to bottom lines so now I write this letter and it's fitting that it rhymes because poetry is so much better when you're cutting ties. Thank you for being a partner and a friend. I'm sorry that I couldn't see our plans through to the end and when you look at your wrist always think of me - flowing through your veins in an ink manatee. I will be beside you even when my life has faded, but you would've gone first if I had waited. These days I am selfish, frightened, and vain. I couldn't have seen a headstone adorned with your name. When you're holding my ashes and placing them in little jars think fondly of the memories that are no one else's but ours. I will be with you on the river that we call life. You're a wonderful friend, mother, and wife. In this life behind you I will sit, helping to steer through rough waters like in the ducky when we still made use of it. If you lose your paddle or the current pulls you down, I will be with you and I will never let you drown.
I love you and I'm sorry that it had to end this way. That I lived so much life then just gave up one day. It's ok that you're angry because I would be too. The last time you almost died was the last time I was mad at you. But please pass on this letter and keep most of it for yourself. There's a reason that I gave this to you and absolutely no one else.

I know that I am selfish and I'm so, so sorry. I love you Nikki.
-Jackie

Lost inside my mind
There is no self to find
So I fragment into fractals
And I fly with pterodactyls
The colors overtake me
As the chemicals unmake me
Inside my mind’s eye, the mind’s sky is a firefly
No rhyme nor reason
No time or season
There is only here and now
There is no where or how
There is an untouched galaxy
There is no air or gravity
There is only cosmic unity
And perhaps a rainbow manatee

Carousel
Lifted
Raised
Summon me
My wooden figurine stature
Drifting in tempo
Up
Down
Up
Downnnnnn
Provisioning joy
Commissioned for money
Prostitution
no!

I am a horse
A snail
Wolf
Sled
Manatee
Griffin
Black pegasus

Whimsical wannabe
Calliope
-Sound-

You call to me
off the ground
High
hot air balloon
Cloud found
Afraid
Sandwiches cooked over the flames
post-touchdown

Hell laden
I am earth worm
Healer
Anonymity

Fatso
You are and you aren’t
Whale
You are more than the labels they give you
Cow
It’s over now
Their insults cannot hurt you
Giant
You are not in middle school anymore
Ugly
They cannot hurt you anymore
Lard
You are a grown-*** woman
almost thirty,
unapologetically queer, hairy,
with curves and ******* and wide hips and pretty dips and
They cannot cypher their words,
syphon their insults by
relating you to a beautiful big creature
Cow, Whale, Lard, Fatso

What is a Lard but a singling
A bright beige soft nosed creature
with brownie eyes and long lashes
like a taper with a hooked nose
soft and long like an elephants
Flappy points of ears
that hear well
with tiny sharp teeth
like a land-locked manatee
or a furry caramel Beluga whale

Their insults only refer you to necessary creatures who give their life to feed you and their intellect to empower you

A Fatso is a bright blue animal that has shimmering rainbow wings (like a dragon) and thin curly white horns and milky grey eyes with a fabulous feathers and a fanned tail of royal purple that soars through the skit at light-speed and can bring the rain with its melodious cries

When they or you or they or you or
They are you you know
Insult you they are not insulting you
because a Lard and a Fatso are both such intelligent creatures
mystical and fervent
glorious and gargantuan
Large, yes
But beautiful all the same
They have sharp teeth and move through the earth or skies whenever and wherever they like
These animals have freedom
Just like how you have freedom
in how you think about yourself
which is
to think of yourself as
the sexist, prettiest, cutest
person alive
now isn’t that great?
now isn’t that grand?

You are gold plated and steel incorporated and glass blown and light shadows thrown and haggling heights and shaved delights and a hairy symphony and a harrowing city of sparkles that twinkle in the night.

You are beautiful
and might
just
save the world one day.

You are a mystical creature of the highest creed
and no one
can tell you
otherwise.

Boats and more boats around this marina
thank goodness none of us got caught in Katrina
big boats and small boats, they're really yachts
the giant, fun toys of people with lots
gambling, eating and sitting by pools
lifeguards yell at kids to follow the rules
turquoise the waters of sparkling seas
it's so pretty here with it's cheerful palm trees
the waves lap up gently on crystal white sand
there's dolphins out playing in sight of land
a manatee swam right up to the dock
and nobody here is checking their clock
a turtle was swimming slow and relaxed
a bikini model lay out all freshly waxed
massages and facials, yoga and gyms
healthy and happy fulfilling their whims
a jet ski flies by and they holler in fun
everybody out getting their dose of the sun
by evening and rambunctious music parade
if you vaycay here then your life's really made

Unstructured fealty,
A tip toed fantasy,
Of uncultured humanity.
This is reality,
Where sugar plum fairies,
Only exist in dreams.
So, adrift it seems.
In myths and schemes.
In the midst of things.
That we truly believe,
Will make us happy.
But even with everything,
Why does the glass remain half empty?
Is life truly a tragedy?
A perfect ballet,
Where love is promised,
But death is the only thing that cometh.

You can perfect a plie,
But bend to addictions.
You can perfect a saute,
But jump to conclusions.
Indeed, life is a perfect ballet,
Where love is promised,
But death is the only thing that cometh.

Uncertain with deities.
After all, I might be an evolved manatee.
Or I might just be an anomaly.
Perhaps this is insanity.
Trapped in bodies,
Shamed depending on anatomy.
That’s determined randomly.
Not sure of what is or isn’t reality.
Spinning in circles,
Without stability.
Spinning in circles,
Bearing the weight of gravity.
A little dance I call depression and anxiety.
Taking substances to escape reality.
Going to a tip toed fantasy.
Filled with sugar plum fairies.
Just like in my dreams.
But dreams are brief,
Just like the substances.
Going back down a spiral of grief,
And a sense of emptiness.
Wondering where to find true happiness,
To be loved.
Man maybe life is a tragedy,
A perfect ballet,
Where love is promised,
But death is the only thing that cometh.

You can perfect a plie,
But bend to addictions.
You can perfect a saute,
But jump to conclusions.
Indeed, life is a perfect ballet,
Where love is promised,
But death is the only thing that cometh.