I am searching albeit not proactively
Come what may, going through the motions
To expect too much sets you up to fail
So I stopped expecting much, leaning more on logic
Feeling more as if I exist on another plane
Unable to see all at once, I choose to block it out
And dance upon my own grave, masking the pain
I will hide behind smiles and blushing brown eyes
Hoping that what I subconsciously search for
Will sweep me off my feet, out of my surreal dreams
Catch me unaware, for I am feeling mournfully aware
That the moments I dream, are long out of sight
It's always me
That does the all of it
Whether or not I agree
I have to commit
I can't be second best
It's not an option
To be like the rest
After all the exhaustion
So I choose to keep going
Despite how hard it may be
Punches I'll keep throwing
Until I'm free
I’m trying to shed the memory of you
Not like a light jacket that you can just put on and take off as you please
As the weather changes,
But with all the effort of removing an exoskeleton;
It only comes with time.
I’m trying to shed the very skin that allowed me to love you and to
The scales on my spine reminding me that I have one,
And that I don’t have to be pushed into things
Who am I kidding.
I wasn’t pushed into anything.
I just believed the things I shouldn’t have
And distrusted the things I should.
(NaPoWriMo Challenge: April 20, 2015)
The tendency to give high accuracy ratings to descriptions of your personality that supposedly are tailored specifically for you, but are in fact vague and general enough to apply to a wide range of people. For example, horoscopes.
P.T. Barmum’s boxcar of fortune tellers, religions and personality tests
predict I may be inadvertently pressuring someone.
I may be inadvertently over-extended. I need to be proactive
and not be proactive in taking on more than I can handle.
However, the sun is in my Professional house
which may affect my relationships. I blame this on my Gemini.
People suspect he’s holding out on them.
(That would be me.)
His problem will continue if he continues to stonewall.
If he throws someone a bone, that will buy him sometime.
Nothing is any good in the long run.
Something is always changing.
You never give yourself credit for being specific enough.