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Cunning Linguist Nov 2013
Hella business
Got hella *******
Poppin double bottles
With a couple of mistresses
Stellar mistreatment
Here's the key
Lock em in the cellar
Forever their memory lies
But a troubling mystery

Hysteria erupting
Like waves gushing
From the tip of my *****
My genius is better
I'm the King here's my scepter
Now watch the teeth
You worthless Queen
Or I'll stifle them screams

I **** ******* on trampolines
Motion sickness?
Overdose on Dramamine

Slave to the magnitude
Of my impressive **** munching
Exploring deplorable nether-regions galore;
Can't touch me you got nothing
Broke *******
Grind your brain like morning coffee beans

Shame is a word just outside the boundaries
of my fabulous vocabulary

Oh, am I contrite?
How trifling
Check my charm I'm enlightening
Enigmatic and igniting sporadically like lightning
Magically radical voyaging down
                                                           down
                                                  down the rabbit's hole
Inciting excited riots to light fires spark fuses and chew on live wires
You do not frighten me.
Delivering excruciating asphyxiation to every pwn'd n00b
Is my modus operandi
And this is my magnum opus

I have Tourette's

Conceive these merriments of abhorrent mental abortions
Precisely concise and incisive concocting incoherent comatose monstrosities to flatten your lifelines
Conduct these ensembles of debauchery and narcotics -
I'm fascinating;
Crippling your mind like a lobotomy and tripping the light fantastic through bombarding planes of consciousness
I'm on acid thraxXx'd the **** OUT and faded
Levitating fading and oscillating in time while inflating my ego

But lets be realistic
the caliber of my linguistics is intrinsically aesthetic
but none too altruistic
Untrue!
Be reasonable lest I demand be-headings on grounds of treason
Its not hard for me -
It's profound, the sound of suffering;
I'll swallow your soul
'Tis the season!

Inference for instance -
****-hand upturned to oceans of incessant peasants
Pestering to ****** and fluster your festering ****-hole
Exact my revenge; begin phase mayhem
initiating total brain annihilation
interring bodies posthaste with skilled persistence
And sporting in poor taste
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

You who peers through eye of the pyramid-
Would you be so kind as to interpret my footprint at face-value?
Do you take me for a fool yet seek prophets reaping profits?
Listen to them sleep, baaah-ing away like flocks of little sheep
My hearts not on my sleeve but I have a trick or two up there;

Now bow before my marvelous flow
As I behold my throne whilst throwing bows and exposing hoes.
Premji Dec 2011
Who cares for her shattered dreams when she is
Brutally ***** on the very first night?
Who cares for her preconception health when,
For him, the only activity is making her pregnant?

Who cares for her repeated abortions
Which results in cervical damage,
Which in turn makes her unable to carry
The weight of a later pregnancy?

Who cares for not to satiate his excessive lust
When she is pregnant, which can cause
Abortion and maternal mortality?

Who cares for prenatal care that can keep
Her unborn baby and herself
Healthy during pregnancy?

Who cares to relieve her excessive work load at home
And her ever expanding stress to provide
High-quality child care for her five or six other children,
From earlier pregnancies?

Who cares for her signs and symptoms of anemia,
Her fatigue, increased heart beat or palpitations
Paleness of inside of eyelids, gums and nail beds
Desire to eat indigestible or peculiar foods?

Who cares for her backache, increasing weight,
Change in her centre of gravity and powerlessness?

Who cares for her malnutrition, poor health,
Lack of education, overwork, mistreatment?

Who cares for her dental hygiene, her broken teeth,
For the baby grows within is another tyrant
Who grabs Calcium, even from her teeth and bones?

Who cares for her cramps and muscle spasm,
Heartburn and indigestion , insomnia?

Who cares for her needs to go to the toilet frequently,
As the growing baby reduces her bladder capacity?

Who cares her inability to get comfortable
When she has neither clean water nor safe sanitation,
And necessary support either from health services?

Who cares not to tense her,
Already she is suffering from all sort of
Tension and high blood pressure?
And her mother-in-law terrifies her again
The consequences if the newborn could be of a girl!
Sad, woman is the greatest enemy of
Another woman, in the most needed times!
If she dies, none is worried...
For he can marry once again!
More dowries, more *** and more kids!

Who cares for her post natal depression ,
As none to take care of the newborn and other kids,
She has to run for office and other workplaces
With heavy *******, pain and bladder infections?

Who cares that every pregnancy weakens her a lot
As she need some time to recover her health...
And on the very day she can spread her legs,
By force, he starts his activities again!
He knows how how to starve the newborn
Just by emptying her *******!

When things are like this,
Every religious clergy flays
The limiting of the family size by birth control!
Christians wish for a Christian world
Muslims dream for a new world under Islam
Hindus, Buddhists, Jews and
Every religious fanatic dreams of the same!
They offer gifts for women for bearing
More and more children
For more children is their cheapest weapon!

When will they dream for a HUMANE WORLD?

Healthy children need healthy mothers.
Healthy mothers need healthy food,
Loving husbands (optional!) and caring society
For true world is made of love!
rootsbudsflowers Mar 2018
I am not at fault.
I didn't do anything wrong.
Why am I being treated as though I did?

Stop it with the pity and the shame.
I am not ashamed. I don't need pity.
Especially not yours.

Life is messed up, but I am not.

One in five. one in five. ONE IN FIVE
One in five LGBTQ+ people have been mistreated because of their ****** orientation. It's not that hard to find these statistics. Look it up. Look up anything about LGBTQ+ people and I'm sure you'll find mistreatment.
I'm sure you'll find harm.
I'm sure you'll find that they harm themselves.
Because they feel at fault.
It's not their fault that they feel a common emotion towards another person you, selfish, close-minded..
mmm.

No.
Four in five. four in five. FOUR IN FIVE
Don't talk about it.
The way they were mistreated.
If you don't really get that
If you can't  really fathom that
Almost all of them
Almost every single one of these people that have been mistreated don't even talk about it they don't reach out they don't tell
anyone

NEARLY HALF
of LGBTQ+ people in school are bullied
Are mistreated
Are hurt
Are mocked
Are called names
***
******
***.
In school.
Yeah, bullying happens all the time over stupid ****. All the time. Wearing glasses, looking different, being gay.
I get it.
It happens.
Whatever.
Nearly half.

"72 countries criminalise same-*** relationships ...
The death penalty is either ‘allowed’, or evidence of its existence occurs, in 8 countries
In more than half the world, LGBT people may not be protected from discrimination by workplace law
Most governments deny trans people the right to legally change their name and gender from those that were assigned to them at birth
Between 2008 and 2014, there were 1,612 trans people were murdered across 62 countries - equivalent to a killing every two days
A quarter of the world’s population believes that being LGBT should be a crime"

Oh hey, just some statistics. Isn't that interesting. Isn't it cool to take a step back and check that out. That's pretty crazy huh? Pretty outrageous. But, you know, maybe if you weren't such a
***.

I did nothing
wrong.
I tried to stop it.
I tried.
But how can you stop
Doing
What
Is
Natural.

People are hurting
People are dying
People are being killed
People are killing themselves

Stop it with the pity and the shame.

We are not to blame.
http://www.stonewall.org.uk/media/lgbt-facts-and-figures
All statistics were taken from this website.
Ayeshah Mar 2010
He Fights to be the Provider,
Hiding the Pain he Sometimes feels,
Trying to be your Healer,When you both have to seal -Deals ...
In life that give way to many...
Mistakes, He lifts you up when your feeling down,
Holding all he feels deep, Down,
Worries about what you don't have while trying
to make you Laugh,
Sometimes Sitting  up, Late at night thinking
of another way to give everything
Helping you
Through the old wounds of pain caused by another Mans
Abuse,un truths or lies you never forgave,
Taking blame even thou its not in him to hurt
this presious women,
To him You are everything,
Asking Nothing of himself,
When your in pain he leands the help,
taking all your worries away
Pain Skecthed on his face,
You dont Notice, your too stuck in your own
Turmoils, You dont think..., What dose he need,
A Mans Struggles
Is beyound us,We only know what we WANT, As Women
Some of Us don't trust enough or care long as we
Get OUR share..,
We aruge with him,
Fight and fuss,
Making it harder on him to just be a Man
His Struggles,
Not to mention The Father or daddy to some of our kids,
Even when their not even his,We burend you with our self
conclusions and confusions, Make you Pay Everyday
for something you didnt do or Never Could..
Mistreatment is evident as
We give to him
Our own Abuse ...Words Hurt him too,
Even thou he Holds it ALL in
As Girls, Ladies and Women,We concurred you,
With looks of our own Deceptions and lie to get you in our web,
Black Widows Grasping at you, laying you on the plater not really
knowing what "lies" Ahead,
Not All Women but Many of THEM...,
Taking him from Man to the Beast paying for
The ******* by other old peeps family
or the Other Ex's
Not leaving Room for him to be Next,
Or The Best...,
**** His Struggles and let him deal with mines,
Let him see me as I want him to,
his girl we say, His Lady, His wife,
His Baby Momma
With all the strife and Drama,
Causing him to be Not Man but less of Him,
Make him the Next Abuser,
No its not Right but
hey Thats life,
or THE Way you want it to be..
You wanted more of his time,
stopped him from making a Dime or paper,
To Recreate him
Not in God's Image but as You want it..,
Women Listen...
He's
Giving all he can, Working Paying bills..,
In the street or 9to 5 ...,
Doing anything to let You get by,
THIS MAN STRUGGLES.
Yeah he gets a little satisfaction
from all that he's done to just put
that Smile on your face ...,
See his kids say
Hey my Daddys great,
But Given His Struggles His way of doing things..,
its time to sit and think
what it means to be a MAN,  Be Men....,
A Mans Struggle's
We dont talk much about...,ONLY what he do "WRONG"
or what he's NOT willing to Do for you,
You Complain
About what's NOT Given  or  
NOT done (done/doing RIGHT) whats not yours
or what He DONE gone in did AGAIN & AGAIN...
This Song Continues,
And now hes got your Tune Stuck in his Head,
Negatives not Words of Encouragement,
NO  Praises and Thanks for helping Rasie these bad as kids ...,
Putting food and gifts & Roof over ya Heads,
Saving up, time to spend and taking work off...not that its a cost
YOUR willing to make
( cuz Some just Aren't Going to Take it/US Women)
or to even say THANKS,
Some Of us Women just dont Get it,
Can't Say all Women but
I know Plenty of THEM,
Not willing to take his place on any given DAY...
Making him..,
Not a man but worse than sin, taking away his "self"
Esteem and the MAN you ONCE Fell in love with,
is No longer him,
Changing him Again til he's unreal...
Saying "I do" just to Get his Dibbs,
Saying "I love you" just to pay a bill,
STOP WORRYING
ABOUT WHEN HIS NEXT PAY IS,
OR IS HE GOING TO BE THE NEXT
to do what the Ex's did to you...,
ABUSE YOU,
THINK OF THE ....
Love he's giving..,
You as a women and for
giving the realationship a chance,
Wow to just be a ma!,
HIS STRUGGLES,
GOT ME IN a TRANSITION OF FEELING HIM
AND LISTENING TO ALL YOU MEN!...
I  Apologies if this Was ever me
(I bet I did it too acted petty and lost a good Man,)
I AM THANKFUL AND YOUR HEAVEN SENT.
AGAIN TO ALL THE GREAT MEN...
To all you Wonderful MEN...I say AGAIN TY...
I know some of the ****
your in and I feel your pain at times Too,EVEN
if I don't ALWAY Understand You,
Even when I'm Yappying my Mouth...,
Talking a bunch of ****,
I give Thanks to you,
all you men For DEALING with it!
Hench I dedicate this
to You Men
Cuz I can only Guess About.....
A MAN'S STRUGGLES!!!
Always Me Ayeshah
Copyright © Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved
Kendall K Sep 2017
My dad does not love me,
I couldn't tell you why.
I do not feel at home when I am with him,
I won't even try to lie.

I know he doesn't give a **** about anyone besides himself,
not me, not him, not her.
Dad, I think of all the times I asked if you were even listening,
though I always knew you never were.

He makes me feel like I bear no purpose
and that doesn't sit too well.
I'm breathing slowly in and out,
yet I still reside in hell.

But as much as I want to hate him,
I still can't bring myself to.
I swear to god, I'm falling apart,
will we ever make it through?

This tears me apart violently,
painfully, limb by limb
I want to make things better,
but it all just looks so grim.

I'm trying so hard to convince myself
that it doesn't hurt anymore
because you told me you would make this right,
but you lied to me, you swore.

Yet despite these words that spill from my lips,
your approval still haunts me, I swear.
Because something crazy happened that made me realize
how much I continue to care.

Because when I lost the stone of a ring you bought,
my wall came tumbling down
Because I found some love within that rock
that we got in my favorite town.

On that trip, I felt important,
so much that I'll never forget.
Of all my useless times with you,
that week I don't regret.

But now that my ring is gone,
there's nothing happy for me to remember,
so I'm left here on a sunny July day,
feeling like the **** frigid December.

I began to find a home inside my moonstone,
and I wore it everyday.
Now, my memory seems to be fading
further and further away.

It's sad, I know it's lame,
but I still find myself searching all over the ground.
Though I know it's long gone,
I look hopelessly for something that's nowhere to be found.

And often times,
I also find myself tracing a finger
over the now empty space
my blue ring used to linger.

I'm looking for something
that no longer exists
because my fading faith in you
consistently persists.

I'm holding tightly onto an object
because of the meaning I convinced myself it had,
but the painful realization that you really couldn’t care less
feels indescribably bad.

I guarded it with my life,
but a ring never made me matter
And now that I've seen the truth,
I'm scared to death I'm going to fall apart and shatter.

Maybe it wasn't the healthiest coping method,
but it meant the world and more to me.
A piece of myself died once I noticed its absence
because there's a door to my happy memories and that was the key.

That one small piece of jewelry
was the hope, the love, you left me without.
This is why I cried when I lost it
because it was one of the only things I owned that I cared so desperately about.

And if I never get it back,
I’ll never find any in you again
If I thought this feeling right now was the worst,
what will I do then?

When I think of you, it all comes back;
your mistreatment is all I see.
And I'm left alone inside my head,
thinking, that my own daddy doesn't love me.
2.2.16 | this is something i was very hesitant to share because it's honestly probably the most personal thing i've ever written in my entire life, but i just needed some peace in my mind and i felt like i needed to share this in order to get that release since this topic continues to be a reoccurring struggle in my life.
All these kids are homeless with dead parents from all these ignorant wars, the ghetto, tragedy and famine and you're complaining about how you hate your parents that are there for you?
What in blue blazes has gotten into you?
People who are good to you
Should never be rejected
I'm sorry, but i cannot accept those words as a fact
Because they're filth painted with temporary coat
Am i supposed to be impressed?
Because i'm not
You did far worse than that
My parents couldn't do everything for me, but it wasn't due to the lack of wanting
It was the lack of everything that prevented them from doing so.
I want to tell the homeless help is on the way
I will be your guide today
But they forgot the language of caring
Due to all their previous mistreatment from other souls
They now almost forgot how to feel
I'm not going to put them on a reel
To give them bait so i could just throw them back into the river
I'm understanding of your pain
And i want something to guarantee you constant gain
Because they deserve it the most
I want to cry every time i see them digging for food out of the garbage can
But i need to stay in my poker face
And stay strong
But i'm not sure it might be for long..
I had to write this.
Paylei Rose Mar 2019
I've never been able to please you
I've always been a nuisance
So I kept trying to make do
But I end up useless

You were always disappointed of me
since I was a child
They has never been a time we didn't disagree
You never even taught me how to smile

Now I need to forget the past
And realize I don't need a mother
Because I'm tired of the mistreatment, that was the last
Now I'm going to actually meet my brother
Ignatius Hosiana Feb 2016
Despite everything that's happened
Despite the mistreatment of our own
Despite the suppression & oppression
Despite the mambas in big numbers
Despite the silencing of the nation
Despite the heavy deployment on the streets
Despite the gas that our eyes mistreats
Despite the despair prevailing in the air
Despite the scare,the arrests that are unfair
Despite the government condemnation
of those battling our incarceration
Despite the fact that some are starving
because electronic mobile money transfer is off
Despite the looming loss and fraudulent tally
Despite the gloomy faces we all wear, the sully
Despite the rage burning through us for many a reason
The main one being the compromise of our peaceful
struggle out of the manacles of this corrupt regime
despite many being voiceless in prison
Despite the treacherous Telecom companies
assisting the tyrant keep us on our bruised knees
Despite the malnourished kids along the streets
despite the expectant mothers fearing for their life
because the best Hospital in the country has no doctors
& the disgruntled interns trying to help and teachers
despite the lives lost in the election scuffle fueled by police
despite the opposition constant arrest and release
the rise in the prices of everything but value of nothing
despite the arrogance of those profiting from the tyranny
despite the dishing out of cash to bribe voters
& the lining up of cattle to have more votes than voters
Despite the furthering hope for eminent change
despite the lead of the incumbent by a ridiculous range
I still love my country and I still believe change will come
even if the despot rules for a thousand a term
I still believe a day is coming when we shall say
"At last, the man is history,this country is now for the people"
I dream of that day, it should have been yesterday
But despite the fact that any dictatorship
tends to want power for permanent keep
Someday from the fountains of change we shall sip
I still believe,albeit such freedom isn't a one day trip
On behalf of all who turned up to cast their votes
thank you for not just talking but also walking
thank you for the courtesy you're giving to the next generation
at least we know we shall have answers in clear narration
to our children and their children, each and every question
Don't give up...to me the fight is just started
And still, even a president has got but one neck
Change is guillotine, someday it catches up
Don't give up for you have come so far and see so much
If you were about to surrender, I hope this your heart can touch
Despite all the challenges our struggle is facing
Let's stay focus toward justice and fairness chasing
Yes, we have fallen more than we deserve
it may feel but someday someone will appreciate your love
One Uganda, one people... in change we believe
For God and my country, I love Uganda
I love you all...Don't give up
For everyone in struggle against dictatorship. I'm proud of you
Ayeshah Nov 2014
You've said and I'd have to agree
I'm  
selfish,

Because
I refuse to let you do anything to me,
Selfish ......

Why because
I refuse to spread wide & let you
**** me then leave?

You've expressed to others
how

Selfish

I can be,

because
I wont give in to your deceit,

I refuse
to allow you any sympathy
when it comes to

your fuckery

your an
infectiousness diseases...

Selfish

cause I wont be

subdued with all

the lies and ways
you mistreat me,

all the game playing,

trying to scheme

fake me out,
while you try to
make me lay out

my cards,

ya stupid cheat,

Selfish

because I've told you

I Wasn't Ready

I'm calling your bluff,
Your not so tough,

Ya sort of funny papi

Your always trying to knock me,

wishing to cause havoc and bring me down again.

Selfish

huh

really?

I'm so

Selfish
because I'll put my children

all of them before you,

I've placed my walls back up

wont allow you to climb em

I've changed my mind

more than once it's cause

of something you've done...


You've got me rethinking
being up on this pedal-stool
&
I'd rather you stop shaking it

so
I can get down

but you'd rather see me fall.

It's

Selfish

*of me- right
cause

I'd rather not have to fight,

I don't like being put down,

Specially ya
small jabs

about my mental

the many excuses

you've come to make

time and time again

You've dismissed

my past and all

the bad that's trapped me,
You make fun of me
for having PTSD
& D.I.D.

You've said and I'd have to agree

I'm


Selfish

cause I don't want to do this,

I don't need another man's

to abuse,
or for you to
use  and beat me

I'd rather be


selfish
then to take care of another drunk

or man with any type of addiction,

even if you're addictions me.

I'll be


selfish

While
I guard all that's dear to me

You've already
deliberately

tried to cause me so much pain

dressed it up and called it love

but I wasn't fool to your game.


Selfish

huh?

Is it because,

I didn't let you in

well not as much

as you'd like me to,

Naw papi

it's because
You
can't just pop into my life

then try to take it over.


SORRY *******

You can't mistreatment

and abuse me

than bring me flowers

cards or candy,

You can't rock my body

then dismissively

treat me like

I'm worthless....

But it's me

whose so *******


Selfish.

I've said it long ago
Oh how he thinks

I'm


"His Type"

Well that's not true
because
baby you've made it

so **** clear

that
I'm nothing.

Besides

a *****,

a **** & a ****...

A *****

even though

You've apologized

each and every time

those
words left your lips,

not right away

but you've done it
&
I refuse to forgive you

over and over

each time you've

repeated ya crimes...


No way could
I allow you back
because
you showed you'd
do it
again and again,

and if
BIG ******* IF,
if I allowed it

which I wont-
not anymore and never again
its because  
you've said it
right

and
if you cant

remember

well  baby
I'll help you

out

its
because

I'm


SELFISH!

*Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®
         K.A.C.L.N ©
     All right reserved ®
Copyright 1977 - Present
AND I DON'T NEED YOU, NOR DO I EVEN LIKE YOU ANYMORE! GO ******* WITH YA FUCKERY!
David Nelson Jun 2010
Peanut Butter and Jam

I like peanut butter, I like toast with jam
don't care too much for brocolli on a stick
or a hunk of liver that's really thick
I really like swiss cheese on ham

dont like the spill of oil, don't like it one **** bit
like the smile of small young child with their mother
that is a smile that is like no other
hated wrestling getting my face in the arm pit

loved coping a buzz and hearing music from a live band
loved the feel of my loved ones soft lips on mine
its cool watching old movies about Franenstien
always liked everything I tasted with the Nestles brand

I hate wars and senseless killing it just makes no ******* sense
I don't like it when my jockey shorts ride up my crack
I get jealous of someones fame when I think they are a hack
I look at my final desitination with no false pretense

going to the moon would be such a spiritual thing
meeting my president would be such a special honor
it would be fun playing tennis with Jimmy Connor
how I would love to be on stage with friends and sing

wish I could have met Jesus Christ the man
his mistreatment on any level was way to cruel
if I drink to much I have a tendency to drool
hey remember the Nanny her name was Nan

the Little Rascals were such silly kids,
their Woman Haters Club was such a fake
now how long does it take to bake a cake
too sad when once famous people hit the skids

why does everything taste like chicken fried
will this world recover from the financial woes
will the hopes of all the poor ones in back rows
I thought of death and then I cried

now the words can flow freely for this is who I am
I will never be rich or famous my shoulder I will lend
I will always be here if you are in need of a friend
yes I really really love peanut butter and jam

Gomer Lepoet...
Nat Lipstadt Aug 2013
I posted this poem  a few days after I joined HP.  As  is oft the case, poems you are especially proud of, fall to the wayside, under the onslaught of the constant waterfall of new submissions.  With the usual exception of Ms. Lori C., one of the two unofficial High Priestesses of HP, in my estimation, this one, was pretty much overlooked.  Despite some comical jaunts of late re bras and beds, real inspiration has escaped me ever nice I penned "Sittin' On The Dock Of The Bay (Razor Blades, Pills, & Shotguns" last week.  So, with your hoped for solicitude, I resubmit it, hoping it finds a wider audience and dedicate it to those of you who I number as friends (you know who you are!), despite the fact that our only shared embraces have been techno~electronic, and yet the quality of your kindness is beyond measure.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Numerical Quality of Friendship

The quality of friendship is non-quantitative.
Yet, I ask you to number it, and me, this way.

With tape measure, determine that:
The length of my arm's embrace will always be
longer than long enough, and when distance magnifies sorrow's gains,
my shoulders measure wide enough to pillow your wearied head.

The depth of my pocket is finite for by definition,
a pocket is but an open doored, three walled shelter.
My pocket of shelter is forever open, forever deep,
and forever is infinite.

Trust that when bowed and bent,
upon my shoulders climb and together we will be tall enough
to touch the season's new fruit upon the tree of life,
and with one tongue, taste the unimaginable!

Do u think that mercury can measure
the warmth of my tears when love sears my heart,
or the heat of thy skin when it heals and cauterizes
wounds salted by the mistreatment, by the bitters of the weak ones,
who rejoice when they scald others?

Size me up.
What is my volume?
What are the boundaries that
length X depth X height
state must limit my capacity to cherish, to heal,
and even to forgive those who deserve no forgiveness?

If you measure me well and proper,
if I meet the standards that qualify me to be called friend,
then friend me here, friend me now,
friend me for the qualities I posses,
and number us a unity among the few
who are truly blessed
by a quality of friendship that cannot be measured,
for there is no scientific instrument that can quantify
limitless.



March 2012
Zulu Samperfas May 2013
Left to die, unable to survive on your own
a child thinks this. It is the greatest fear
Doesn't last long, but makes a big impression
A bigger fear than being abused
But today, it means, can mean, freedom
from abuse mistreatment, your insults
their disdain, being his personal punching bag
the scapegoat for his broiling troubles
your neglect, and preference for under age girls
Abandonment is a respite
a place of renewal
a silence that terrifies, but then rejuvenates
as I can think on my own
let my thoughts be my guide, for a better me
Lucy Tonic Nov 2011
**** the good stuff
Let's talk about the bad stuff
In the end it's all fury and cotton…
There's a spider-web in my palm
The center is a smiley-face
With X'es for eyes
And I feel my tongue
Becoming numb and salty
Maybe potassium
And who are you
With your glasses
And your street smarts
I'm quite ok with being
Unimpressive an ignorant
To your standards
A mafia with some ****** mixed in
That's how you're perceived by me
No code, no guts, no loyalty
And you talk, and I listen
I even engage you, polite as I am
I don't bet, but I'd gamble
You have a barcode on your soul
And if I could explain, I bet you'd listen
A set of letters on your payroll
And your set of ways
Is equivalent to
Mistreatment of an animal
But your tactics and lack of tact
Suggest treatment of an alien
An I bet on the movies
You're not sheep, just orphans
Begging for a leader
A rite of passage
And here goes my empathy
Imaginary places and genes
And I don't bet, but I'd gamble
You have a barcode on your soul
And hell yes, I'm in it right now
**** the good stuff
Let's talk about the bad stuff
In the end it's all fury and cotton
Ayeshah Mar 2010
(Readers I been going crazy to write  like this for a long time so if it suxs  too bad lol please read its a bit long also 4 those who do ty for reading & commenting)
________________­_______________
She seen his stares since earlier in the ball room & during most of their acquaintance's growing up also when he'd visited her family at her home in Hampshire... She bluntly ignored his many advances while
at the Queen's Ball and she also publicly shunned him in front of  many aristocrats, He asked her even then to be his wife, She flat out said NO! with out going through the proper channels it  "*******" just wasn't done,  Her chaperon Lady Gideon was no where to be found so she did what she thought was best and walked away from him as fast as her small frame would allow.  

She did indeed find Lady Gideon in the kitchens with  the cook in the "Blimey!" broom closet. NOW on this night she'd truly become his and pay for her misdeeds & mistreatment's of him at The Queen's Ball...Duke Lincoln Pierre held his new bride Virgina Abagael Pierre  
tightly as he assaulted her mouth thrusting his tongue in her mouth- parting her lips in a seductive dance, as his hands moved lavishly up & down her buttocks, betwixt her bodice caressing her breast.

Lincoln tried hard to control his need for his new bride,  He was supposed  to be with his "mates" for another hour or so whilst his-  " well now" his wife's maids readied her for their marriage bed.
Lincoln couldn't wait & as he rushed his guest out the door not even
waiting for Jefferey his Butler to do so, He ran taking the steps two at a time, His need for Virgina was more then lust.  He wanted her ever since she shunned him at the Queens ball & as he visited her home--  watching her bloom into womanhood, Tonight she'd pay for his humiliations of that night at the Ball. He burst open the door and bellowed  for the maids to Get OUT!

At once they went running like rats. All except Beatrix stood her
ground and told him in not to kind-of words that  "She" had to prepare Virgina properly and He was acting reckless.
Beatrix  was his nanny & nursery maid, she was  also there when he first open his sparkling  hazel round eyes, God rest "Duckies" soul, His mum, she died in this same bed whilst she gave her last breath for this handsome devil.  His Da,  poor man was getting on in age and this was a wish he left in his will to be fulfilled before he died. "Lin" as she'd called him must fulfill but without scaring the poor chit off.

She unfasten Virgina's stays & hooks as fast as her old hands would allow, before she could help her out of her bodice  "Lin" ushered her out....Well she'd said her peace and exit Lincoln's rooms praying as she left.....
Lincoln kept  up his assault  while Virgina had a look of fear & misunderstanding in her mahogany sapphire eyes, Her small frame was shaking to her very core,  Poor chit but it couldn't be helped he was in a rush to be done with virgins and their silly concepts of love ex specially this "his" new prudent bride,  Yet he wanted to make her come alive, bring out the "bleed'in devil" of lust he knew was trapped deep within Virgina's un tapped core.
Lincoln teased and licked as he removed her clothing, ripping a bit of fabric in is haste, she kissed him back! Shocking his own sense of sensibility.

He picked her up splayed her on the bed and stared at her dark luscious Honey chocolate  creamy coco skin, it shined like a lovely indigo ocean on a summers night.
With carious longing and dread,
it was still an interesting moment Virgina didn't know what to do and as he capture her waist she felt  even more unsure, sensing a thrilling sensation wash over her,  Her new husband Duke Lincoln Pierre kissed her with un-abandon lust Virgina instinctively crawled up to the head board on the bed, as she did so her new husband reached for her in a blink of an eye she was caught in his steel grip, she cried out not for pain but because she had no ideal what he meant to do with her,

Lincoln laughed and made a tsk tsk sound as he pulled himself atop of Virgina.  "My Lady I beseech you please leave off I mean you no harm''
Lincoln proclaimed yet his meek smile said he was lying,
Virgina only stared with her mouth gaped in a perfect lush O shape.  
Her husband undone he own clothes  in a heated rush.  
Once done he stalked towards her kneeling on the bed.  
With Virgina's gaze fixed tranquilly on his stiff shaft, she looked at it apprehensively  she wanted to move away yet her limbs wouldn't allow her to and with banned tears threatening to over flow
she ****** in her breath as her capture Duke Pierre her husband climb a top of her.  

Little did her husband know she'd wanted  him all her life she longed to become his bride but she had no ideal it entailed this rough treatment of her person to gain access.
She'd sit with her own nanny "Liv" short for Olivia  
at Hyde Park watching as his carriage made it's rounds.  She dreamed even then to marry him, his eyes always laughing and He was forever teasing her when He'd visited  her "now" deceased parents lord Duke&Duchess; Harrisburg. She'd dream he were always saving her from dragons and evil villains.

But tonight he seemed the Villain.
As he touched creatively over her she felt flushed, his hands trailed down to her hairline where her tulip was hidden as he proceeded to caress her he felt for her budded rosebud playing teasing  rubbing his fingers with gentleness over her.
He continued until Virgina's head was thrashing wildly left & right on the pillow she was scared and shocked not knowing what was coming over her,  she wanted something--   this need that was growing  building within her, she didn't understand and it made her feel weak with a longing she couldn't comprehend, as he removed his finger & hand a light yet cool breeze cam through the cracked window causing the sensation to slowly subside Lincoln moved down trailing kisses as he went his mouth hovered mere inches above her tight yearning rosebud he bet down and tasted honey as he licked in an out of his new bride, sliding his index finger within her tight silt wile wrapping his mouth around her budding rose, he ******, gently  causing Virgina automatically to lift her legs wrapping her hands in his golden brown hair.

He felt her throbbing shaking and he wanted to laugh because of him she now new what it meant to be pleasured,  Virgina began trembling with a urgency not knowing what her body wanted just that she liked this feeling that washed over her from her toes up to her Honey dark coco head.  Her long brown auburn hair fell in waves of curls around her as she melted to her husbands ministrations.

Lincoln could barely contain his want and in his eyes His new bride was a wanton ready for plucking like a ripe strawberry, His little filly was bucking beneath his demonstration's.
He'd played with the God's wile tempting the devil & now there was Hell to pay...  Sadly for his new ****** bride he could no longer hold back, he wanted to consume her, his control was failing, wreaking havoc on his now intoxicating senses.  

Virgina bucked up towards his mouth letting out a seductive cry breaking Lincoln's last restraints  
He spread her wide held her fast
both his hand on either side of her hips as he lead his shaft within her lustrous wet inviting opening, moving in her swiftly as to not cause any more unnecessary pain,
He felt her maiden-head give way but it was to late t pause, he try not to move slow,
which with half in sympathy he wanted to stop his penetrating ****** yet his need for release in his new ****** brides velvet tight silt kept him urging forward deeper&deeper; within her tight walls.

Virgina let out a piercing scream as she also called out Lincoln's name twas an interesting moment when a fierce jolt consumed both occupants of this lovers den, she cried out as he ******'ed deeper still within his new bride....

No longer did he want to  punish her he felt something chip away at his heart releasing a need to want more then her body as they coiled becoming meshed together in legs & limbs traveling on waves of ******* bliss.
Duke & Duchess Pierre

Always Me Ayeshah
Copyright ©
Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved
Haych Jan 2015
After laying awake way past her bedtime
There where nights she cried herself to sleep,

Thinking how could she have possibly been so naive?

But as she closed her eyes and wanders down the streets of once-used-to-be's
She realises, she'd lost herself to a past of full of mistreatment
But now she refuses to be a victim of it and stands tall rising above it
There used to be a time she'd been used, and so to be used was all she knew
And to crave love, a sense of belongingness, was unthinkably selfish
So instead of finding love from within,
She'd give her all to all those who'd treat her like she didn't mean a thing
And apologised and forgave repeatedly though she was never to blame
She became a dreamer of dreams to cope with the painful reality of things

But now instead of living with wishful thinking
She wakes up and struggles hard to make her dreams into a reality
No longer a slave to her fictional fantasies
27-12-14
Aetheria Sep 2010
Each day, as the sun awakens, the painter prepares a delicate tea. A white peach blend. So subtle is the taste, yet the calm that follows, so immense. Alone, on an old floor pillow she smiles. A smile of tea, of happiness, of sunlight. It coexists beautifully with the calm of her eyes. Her lids rest gently on their lower counterpart, there on their own accord. Not a single muscle is tensed. Aged silver strands flow from her head and rest on her *******, yet it is only the color that's been tainted. Still as soft as a child's hair, it shines. The teapot, an old friend, sits beside her on a stout wooden table. He appears to be ancient, perhaps Japanese. Sometimes she smiles a teapot smile, glancing over at him, acknowledging his years of service. Almost as old, slight wrinkles have formed in her face, and crows' feet beside her eyes. Not distortion from mistreatment, rather small folds of time and wisdom. Perhaps an hour later, when the sun has warmed her face, strong arms, and legs, and the teapot has tipped out his last drop, she rises. An easel stands in the center of the room bearing a canvas, which reflects sunlight in rays unseen before submitting itself to a life of color, of bottles. That is the destiny of each canvas ever to sit upon this particular easel, for the room is decorated with bottles- ornaments of the ceiling. There are no walls, only windows. Large panes of glass that have withstood years of the sun's entry. From the ceiling and hooks dug into the slices of wood between the window panes, dangle an eclectic collection of bottles. Hung from different heights. Different colors. Different shapes. Translucent pastel blues and greens, light purples, dark navys, rosey pinks and the like. Together they look so strange, so beautiful, hanging from the ceiling as such. An odd concept indeed, but a sight to behold. Even more so is the light that refracts from within them casting colorful stripes and dots on the floor, never ceasing to dance til the sun goes to sleep. As the woman rises, she walks to the blank canvas. Closing her eyes for a moment, she goes within and asks to be shown her composition. Almost like a compass, her body points her to the north star of the day. Green eyes wander upwards and lock the view. Sometimes they choose a single bottle, sometimes a few, sometimes a whole landscape. Suddenly the painter takes on a sharp concentration, noting the curves, the diameter of the lip, the shades of color that make the bottle appear translucent. One day it might be an exact copy. Perhaps the bottle is what it is and is beautiful that way. But sometimes the bottle's essence is not in what is seen, but the images they incite in the painters mind. A rosey pink bottle looks rather delicate and cute, but the essence of some is darker, curvier, more violent. Or a light orange bottle might be begging to be complemented with shadows of blue. Whatever image comes to mind, whatever way the universe has wished her to paint what is before her, she takes her time. Just as she does with her tea. There is no rush. The sun's visit is long. For hours she will stand and paint until the vision is at last complete. Stepping back, she observes what she has done, looking upon it with new eyes, until she understands it and smiles once again. A smile of paint.
M R White Apr 2021
What do you hear of me?
What rumors slip from others’ lips?
They speak of me, evil mistress, eyes that pull in, and a body that gets caught in your windpipe.
You are unable to swallow me. You chew on me and hastily spit me out. You choke on me.  
The wit I possess is too quick for your bruteness. You dismiss my thoughts.
I am just a woman, nothing less, and nothing more.
Bore to serve you and bear your seed.
What do you hear of me? What slips from others’ lips?
Am I a murderous harlot? A bitter witch with nothing better to do.
Do serpents sit atop my brow, shall I turn you to stone?
Am I Charybdis, shall I swallow you whole?
They are unable to chop me up into bit sized pieces. For some reason, they do not love me as a collective.
What do you hear regarding the treatment of me?
You only hear yourselves, deafening my point of view.
I hear I have scorned every one of you. Do you hear of who scorned me?
Have you ever questioned what may have made me this way?
What makes a mistress so vile?
The mistreatment of a loving deity can mangle many.
I was hanged on a hook, a piece of meat left to rot.
I was once pure and heavenly.
I will ask once more,
What have you heard of me?
What tales have slipped from others’ lips?
Have you stopped to think what created me to be so evil?
I am the evil mistress. I will chew you up and I will eagerly swallow you in all your whole.
I know my motive. What is yours?
ENGLISH PROJECT, STUDYING GILGAMESH
Nat Lipstadt May 2013
The Numerical Quality of Friendship

The quality of friendship is non-quantitative.
Yet, I ask you to number me this way.

With tape measure, determine that:
The length of my arm's embrace will always be
longer than long enough, and when distance magnifies sorrow's gains,
my shoulders measure wide enough to pillow your wearied head.

The depth of my pocket is finite for by definition,
a pocket is but an open doored, three walled shelter.
My pocket of shelter is forever open, forever deep,
and forever is infinite.

Trust that when bowed and bent,
upon my shoulders climb and together we will be tall enough
to touch the season's new fruit upon the tree of life,
and with one tongue taste the unimaginable!

Do u think that mercury can measure
the warmth of my tears when love sears my heart,
or the heat of thy skin when it heals and cauterizes
wounds salted by the mistreatment, by the bitters of the weak ones,
who rejoice when they scald others?

Size me up.
What is my volume?
What are the boundaries that
length X depth X height
state must limit my capacity to cherish, to heal,
and even to forgive those who deserve no forgiveness?

If you measure me well and proper,
if I meet the standards that qualify me to be called friend,
then friend me here, friend me now,
friend me for the qualities I posses,
and number us a unity among the few
who are truly blessed
by a quality of friendship that cannot be measured,
for there is no scientific instrument that can quantify,
limitless.



March 2012
Tiara I S May 2019
There's trauma interlocking my genetics
Stripped of specifics boiled into one
My own blood stained with my ancestors' rapes
23% White in my DNA sickens my bones
How much of it was forced upon my people
My great great and further back peoples
How many mothers thighs ripped apart to give birth to the innocent child of white devils
To be beaten by the white she-devil for "enticing" her man

For the child- if lighter- it be favored but enslaved in the home- near that very room they were criminally conceived

How many young Black men taken and ***** to be emasculated and sedated to work passively upon the plantation
Take a wife- to have her taken to masters room
Have a daughter- son- and the pattern roll on

How many white people and non-black people believe Black peoples to be inherently ****** to this **** day
These are the origins

If White people ignore my claims
Then you- white man- woman- person
You are just as guilty as the slave owners
Just born centuries too late for free labor
You must pity this of yourself too

To ignore Black peoples cries is to be complacent in our mistreatment
To not listen is to feel we were deserving of our suffering
To have happily whipped and beaten your fellow man if born back then

To support U.S. military veterans and be empathizing of their trauma
While rolling eyes to when Black people don't trust police, the government, or all White people of high status
Invented- created- controlled- plagued by White people
Because of 300+ years of trauma has brazed us with forced submission
To ignore the intergenerational neglect of treatment among Black people

Makes you a slave master on a cold December in 1865 missing your slaves just born modern day
The title is referring to the fact that so many White people have SCREAMED in my face that SLAVERY HAPPENED SO LONG AGO- when I have calmly mentioned the inequalities of this day in age still being faced
yet Black Americans havent nearly been freed for as long as slavery went on.
The White people with this sort of guilt need to literally shut the **** up and get out my face.
If you are White and this makes you uncomfortable. Good.
It should.
Now go out and openly disapprove of racists when you can, and learn about laws that criminalize Black people, or you are just who I am describing in the last stanza

White discomfort is not nearly as lethal as racism don't kid yourself
A fool could see this from a mile away
Still I let you get close
Your love, like espionage for future endeavors
For me to give out all my love to have it scattered across the walls you built up to keep me out
Still I was outside your solitude of isolation
My fair Juliet, misjudged and ruthless, how I like it
Blinded by mistreatment, I want what's bad for me
Like sugar to your teeth so sweet but risky
I'd fight to suffer the slings and arrows of as they say misfortune with you could never come my way..

No one said anything about sticks and stones
I would say all the good things about you but there's no reason
I would still have these wounds open and leaking
I fought for you til my hands started bleeding

All these lies you kept spoon feeding
Still in disbelief
I'm finally feeling defeated
All the mistreatment


Not physically
But emotionally
If you couldn't love me
Then why keep me

Gave my all like no other
To watch you give it to another
Took my heart and buried it six feet under
I tried to be your lover

Instead you stole my love and perished me
Locked it up and threw away the key
Into the deep blue sea
While it sinks deepening my insecurities

Please...

You had me on the run
Had my heart shot like guns
*But one day I'll be the right one
To the right one...
"Know yourself, know your worth."
sheloveswords Dec 2013
I
sat and I waited for you
with my skin crawling
many nights I looked into
the mirror
and I didn't recognize her
She was someone new
Someone desperate and broken
into a million pieces
The Culprit Was You
you brought forth misery
wrapped expertly with a
bright red bow
camouflaged and putrid
with your tarnishing love
it was a beautiful trick I must admit
you are quite the magician
you created trust
transformed it to dust
then made it disappear
with the blink of an eye
you forced love to die
with no arrangement of a funeral
I sat and I waited
many nights I contemplated
on ways to make it even
closure is what I needed
but my love for you was too strong
and you made it cry
the mistreatment you delivered
made love die
but my heart still beats
and still I remained
broke, busted, and disgusted
All of my fortitude invested in you
and you imposed it upon me
such potent ammunition in your grasp

you controlled me

to be your slave
while you swam nights in vain
I stayed in and prayed
for direction for protection
I would pray that your heart would fall
into my hands
and God told me to be patient
but
I can't
every moment had to be filled
with you
you are my filling
and I was your crown
pauperized by love's cavity
sleepless nights indulged
by the whispers of my mind
painting sweet stories
covered and blurry
except
my focal point was set on you
my thoughts left me at times
in spite of you

I didn't bother to pursue
how foolish of me
I was stupid
in love with you
meta-morphed to ignorance
in-cognizant of my worth  
I left it at the creek
in my dream
where I sat
in thirst
where I washed my hands
in the glistening water
and laid my worries
in the white snow
but in reality
you know my inner child
only you see my inner core
so tell me how could I
love someone else?
who could ever love me more?
than the man who
knows
me.
in
and
out
your the man who accepts me
out
and
in
your the man who adore me
internal
and
skin
consequently
there's no love in me
to love another

again*



                                Copy Right 2014
                                     ©Patty Ann
lexiberi May 2014
Loving you is like wrestling with the horns of a bull
A modern Hercules and Achelous love story
Sneaking up behind me and grabbing my neck
Bruises scattered across my body by your rough hands
All apologies, no action
A chain reaction of mistreatment
Always coming back to me, begging for more
Then hostility
Without showing responsibility
L Begonia Apr 2018
i liken my growth to the succulents in my garden
sometimes, they struggle to keep up and their leaves shrivel and rot
in the spring, they spill out of their pots
tumbling from the rim in bountiful stems

and every year or so, one may die from mistreatment
overwatered
not enough sun
overcrowded soil

and the next day, the eldest plant blooms
Mister J Aug 2018
If
If you only knew
How much I've been keeping it in
Maybe you could cut me some slack
And leave me to my thoughts

If you only knew
The feelings in my wavering heart
That no matter how much I resist
They're eating me away slowly

If you only knew
How much I want to apologize
For keeping myself at bay and distant
Because I might never want to let go

If you only knew
Why I'm doing things to hurt you
Acting indifferent despite being close
Resisting feelings that I shouldn't feel

If you only knew
How much I'm falling in love
With everything and all about you
Wanting to break the status quo

If you ever find out
That I've been hiding these feelings
To keep this bond between us
Would you rather stay?

If only you would stay
I really hope you won't leave
But if you really do
This may be the last time
That I admit to you
That after all this time
And after all this pain
After all that ignorance
And all that silence
All the wrongdoings
And all the mistreatment
I love you
And pushing you away
Asking God to take away these feelings
Away from my fragile heart
To save what we have
So that I could keep you still
Even when we're far apart
Hey. How have you guys been?
This piece is dedicated to someone whom I've been long close with
Call her my best friend.

I've actually neglected her for the past few weeks
Because when I saw her again
I knew that dormant feelings would awaken
And the time when I loved her
would come running back to me

I've been wavering lately
Because if it ain't from God
I don't want it
Call me hopeless romantic
Call me one of both
I just wanted to tell her my feelings
before she leaves me again.

Enough of the drama.
Thanks for reading! :)

-J
LJ Eaddy Dec 2014
I Can't Breathe
Suffocating
In a country
That could give
A good *******
About me.
Drowning in a society
That doesn't see the signs.
That doesn't believe
That the darker brother
Has the right to justice.
That simply condones
The mistreatment
Of an entire group of
Human beings.
I tried to walk away.
I tried to surrender.
It didn't  matter
Because now
I really can't breathe.
Ayeshah Oct 2013
Tonight I felt loved like I've long since forgot existed,

It's been, it seems, like ages,
(10 years,8 months,2 weeks,4 days,12 hours,32 minutes,and 18sec!)

Since, since I've felt this or allowed myself  feel acceptance, or to allow my heart to fill up.

To be cherished even....

Tonight you slowly took your time...

You've given to me, it'd seem the missing pieces I've been needing...

I watched you watching me, as you'd listen to my history and without ever judging you've allowed a bridge to start being built.

You see long ago I knocked one down and I put up walls, I even made a levy in the hopes that no one would attempt crossing again to concur than once more destroy my heart and that of my trust, but tonight....

Oh tonight you listen, asked question's.

Purely from a longing to know me and not just about me,

but how I've come to be who I currently am...

I felt almost whole.

I was it seems, very in tuned with you,

as you shared your history with me, allowing me into a world of worlds,

I've only dreamed of.

Far away lands, I've only read in romance novels.

Yet you've actually lived it.

The magic I held of your homelands, never went away or filtered as you shared the ups and downs of your life and history... it's only made you that more enchanting to me.

It made me that more willing to share myself with you too.

Knowing of your trial and the burdens you too had faced made you seem even more real but still so very enchanting to me.

Oh tonight, you metaphorically sung to my soul and caressed my heart with the amount of trust and love you've encased around me.

After the hours past and each of us shared our history along with sob stories it seems we  solidified what we already knew; a bound not just of friends for life but it became more...

We have had this love for one another but the magnitude of us seem so over whelming as night became morning, you held me tight in your embrace, stroking my back and caressing my hair, expression the need for me to forever be with you and give to you all of me.

Mind ,soul,Heart, and body.

Spiritual love and acceptance all the days of what would be US.

You loved me, with each stroke, with each touch, with each word and syllable, with each caress, you've loved me.

I felt us joining, felt this morning- the bound we made turning into more than us becoming lovers or friends, as if you took me to wife and I've taken you as husband.

I feel foolish to even say such a thing,  because you know how it is at the present and i'ts so sorry I feel every time I leave.

Once here,  laying in bed, I think of all we've shared and things we given word to.

No one else even knows in such a short time we've consummated the idea's of US being everything we failed obtain from previous relationships.... of becoming more nor what it'll all now mean..,  I think of the tenderness you've engulfed all around me along with this shield of your protection, of your love.

Which shines brighter than a lighthouse or any other beacons.

I unthinkably touch myself,  automatically where your fingers have lingered on my skin, where your lips have traced, I find myself this morning longing for you to be with me.

Once more holding me to you as we semi sleep, I can still feel your movements as my body matched you stroke for stroke, and in awe plus yearning I let out a sigh.

I'm at peace.

With you I am home....  Yet right now my dilemma's a skinny yet hefty arm, which holds me firmly...  It feels so foreign to me now, the weight feels awards, as you know this is the same arm that's been holding another and made it a point caste me aside.

For this new assault, this new kind of manipulation(s) I feel a bit sick.

More disappointing too, knowing that it's not you.

I feel dishearten to be laying here thinking of the wonders we shared and to me I need not ever justify this love we've wrought...  yet laying here with him makes me feel sorry for our situation, It makes me feel more sorry for you.

To be placed in this as it is,  after we've cultivated this bound, this love so pure and so true.

A stark contrast to my mistreatment's by said same person & person(s) plus that of your abuse too...

I am scared and feeling very inadequate too.

I need you, and need us.

I'm vulnerable yet I wont falter on what we're allowing to take shape,  to root.

I also wont allow those roots to ever be dug up...  this is now our turn, our time.

This wont be our ending and no shame comes to me when it's about you,

about us becoming
WE!



Always Me Ayeshah ®
Copyright ©
Ayeshah
K.C.L.N 1977 - Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved ®
Ayeshah Mar 2010
Abstract love's &
( "Lover's" )
like abstract art-

You see what you want to see
Believe what your gonna believe

I've shared my linguistic
knowledge & observations
too many time to count.
Trying to help & wok this out

Begrudgingly l held onto
this imprisonment called
"loving".

Let it stain & detain me,

Overpower myself & my thinking....
Even allowing this

Abstraction to consume my very soul

The every essence of what I once "was"

My dysfunctional state's
isn't no longer in question...

After the mistreatment(s)
I know there's nothing left.

Suicides a gift- my anchor  
It's my only way out of this-
Abstract "Love"!

Always Me Ayeshah
Copyright © Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved
Akira Chinen Jul 2016
Love is not a singularity
It is a whole
One cannot extract a part
Or worship only one piece
It must be accepted as a whole
One cannot only enjoy the soft warm places of love
The pleasent corners and pools
The weak seams that easily split
The lose threads that unravel with the slightest mistreatment
It takes great and delicate strength to walk its halls
Love is complex
And beautiful
It has hidden shadows and dark nights
It cries to the moon and begs for the sun
And it comforts them both in turn
Love is filled with dreams and hope
Longing and doubt
Wishes and tranquilty
Torment and viciousness
It resides in both angel and beast
Heaven and hell
And earth
In the tears of god
And the blood of the devil
One cannot claim it as there own
One cannot truely love any other person
Before loving them all
One cannot give love
Without giving themselves
First to love
Love is of our time
Our blood
Our soul
Treat it well
As you treat others well
Give your all to love
And give all your love
To those in need
Life and love
Though never perfect
Are always
Beautiful
L B Mar 2012
I am free from the clutches of Sir Robert K N

Or am I

I still think about him
How I hate ****** the hell out of him the last time I was with him
He came into my life when I needed some attention
at first it was so exciting
he told me how beautiful and wonderful I was
told me he wanted to start a relationship with me
Never really told me any of this in person
text messaging
he could say anything he wanted on that format

I played all the classic “girl mistakes”
asked him what his intentions were
asked where is this going?
Told him I cared about him too soon

I fell for his early charms
but noticed the deep flaws of his controlling personality
I was drawn to him but it was so toxic for me
I was attracted to his height and how he seemed to pay attention to me at first
I found him to be a womanizer
the things he said made me want to puke
the sweet honey of lies turned to rotten ***** in my ear
he would come and go
nothing was concrete

I tried my best to communicate my points
I did the best job I could
My points were of no interest to him

I finally cried about it today
I looked in the mirror while I did so
I looked so beautiful and vulnerable and strong

I am still confused and I still want to know more
is it my nature to look for abuse or mistreatment?

Do I think love exists where there is none but only for a hope?

I began to notice all the unhealthy things about this man
not things a woman of child bearing age looks for in a partner

I don’t want to be led along
I don’t want my time to be wasted
I don’t want to feel controlled
I don’t want to feel like I'm a crazy girl

I'm not going to voice what I want again and again
I said it once and tried many more times
I cannot compromise my needs and values
He would not and could not deliver

It still makes me sick to think of him
It still makes me sick to think of how foolish I was
to try to believe
to try to put my faith in something so false

Will it feel better when it is right with some other man in the future?
Was this an important lesson for me to learn?
I still want answers
God, give me the strength to let it all go
Hal Loyd Denton Nov 2011
A voice of Reason
Moved by words triumph spilled forth from a fledgling the smallest still voice echoes and shouts if
It originates not from the mind but if the spirit cries from a wound how it can dismantle all of the hard
And fast rules we live by raw feeling has a current all of its own it will carry through wood and fields
Houses now cut and shaped timber in this perimeter built as an oasis of comfort it most readily reaches
Into these confines where laughter of children is heard a mothers song of morning delight the great
Boisterous booming of father as he starts his day in Ernest just a whimper is all it takes the simple
Scraped knee to deepest agony someone died by illness or accident or the hardship of life that tries
At times without mercy even a frenzied question of what time is it holds dread like a beast caged his movements and sounds that haunt and give off tremendous fear one neighborhood stands sturdy
A sea of calm take a walk of just a little time and there is a world of difference the whole outlook and
General atmosphere changes from joyous to brooding where all is contentious can we walk through
This torment and hold to our blue skies while theirs are dark and black the human heart can be cold and
Indifferent but when those of a caring nature releases inner warmth the formidable walls of prison
Can be reordered lies and hatred are dissoluble through love and that alone can change lives give hope
How many are disgusted disheartened because they only see greed and inhumanity heaped on the weak
By having so much we lose sight of the intrinsic value of giving and sharing no greater satisfaction is
Found than when you help others grow and achieve their dreams we forget how easily misfortune can
Strike a whole lifetime wiped out the usual reaction is avoidance act as if they deserve scorn you are
Never built up by your mistreatment of others but when you touch them by acts of mercy you have
Built a stronghold in the deepest mountain that will stand against all storms and you have created the
Impetuous of the greatest caliber for good that will ever be known in this life you have succeeded in
Building an impenetrable wall an army that has and never will be defeated when you make men and
Women into an army and at the core resolute friendship is the strength and metal the enemy will test in
Battle the security of this line of defense will have their power from the anchorage that home is the
Central dominant force and its defense is predominant all consuming unwavering all conceived when
With finality you disown the idea only I matter but through others I mean more once I thought the world
Was mine alone then my eyes looked outward and beyond I saw the Ganges the Danube and the Nile
Then in wonder I knew undeniable truth I’m great as I give myself as a part to the great whole then I
Finally identify with His heart that beats for one purpose and reason and that is to love and give all of
self to others
Cailey Weaver Jan 2022
Today is my first day without you, like really without you.
Before, there was always a chance, always a hope that things would be okay and that we would work out.
But today is the start of a new chapter, where you and me don't exist, and there is no us, maybe, or one day.
I am free of the lies you told, the mistreatment, and the disdain.
I'm free of the inconsistency, callousness, and pain.
There are no more chances, no forgiveness, or apologies to accept.
There or no more talks, or possibilities, or "just want to catch up"s.
Your power is gone, the one you held over me like a grim reaper, waiting for me to falter.
The worst kind of monster... Welcoming me with open arms, only to lead me down the spiral of insanity.
I'm done, and I'm ready, but I'm not yet okay.
But I know that now I can work towards feeling that again one day.
And it hurts, but maybe that's the pain that I need.
Perhaps it's just that which will finally break the cycle of awful, maddening repetition.
I know some days I will move forward and some days I'll fall back, but at least you won't be there to remind me just how much.
I will never again hate myself for letting you in.
This is not the end, and I'm so ready to begin.
So today I will celebrate your absence, as a never-ending holiday.
I am so thankful that I chose not to let you stay.
Because none of this was worth it, and if I could I would change so many things, and wish all of it away.
So goodbye, my love, the one haunting my past.
The one who appears in my nightmares, including the one I live every day.
Who's there to remind me that I'm weak, and I'm broken, and that no truer words have ever been spoken, except...
I'm more whole than you'll ever be, especially now you have to live without me.
Hal Loyd Denton Jan 2012
A voice of Reason
Moved by words triumph spilled forth from a fledgling the smallest still voice echoes and shouts if
It originates not from the mind but if the spirit cries from a wound how it can dismantle all of the hard
And fast rules we live by raw feeling has a current all of its own it will carry through wood and fields
Houses now cut and shaped timber in this perimeter built as an oasis of comfort it most readily reaches
Into these confines where laughter of children is heard a mothers song of morning delight the great
Boisterous booming of father as he starts his day in Ernest just a whimper is all it takes the simple
Scraped knee to deepest agony someone died by illness or accident or the hardship of life that tries
At times without mercy even a frenzied question of what time is it holds dread like a beast caged his movements and sounds that haunt and give off tremendous fear one neighborhood stands sturdy
A sea of calm take a walk of just a little time and there is a world of difference the whole outlook and
General atmosphere changes from joyous to brooding where all is contentious can we walk through
This torment and hold to our blue skies while theirs are dark and black the human heart can be cold and
Indifferent but when those of a caring nature releases inner warmth the formidable walls of prison
Can be reordered lies and hatred are dissoluble through love and that alone can change lives give hope
How many are disgusted disheartened because they only see greed and inhumanity heaped on the weak
By having so much we lose sight of the intrinsic value of giving and sharing no greater satisfaction is
Found than when you help others grow and achieve their dreams we forget how easily misfortune can
Strike a whole lifetime wiped out the usual reaction is avoidance act as if they deserve scorn you are
Never built up by your mistreatment of others but when you touch them by acts of mercy you have
Built a stronghold in the deepest mountain that will stand against all storms and you have created the
Impetuous of the greatest caliber for good that will ever be known in this life you have succeeded in
Building an impenetrable wall an army that has and never will be defeated when you make men and
Women into an army and at the core resolute friendship is the strength and metal the enemy will test in
Battle the security of this line of defense will have their power from the anchorage that home is the
Central dominant force and its defense is predominant all consuming unwavering all conceived when
With finality you disown the idea only I matter but through others I mean more once I thought the world
Was mine alone then my eyes looked outward and beyond I saw the Ganges the Danube and the Nile
Then in wonder I knew undeniable truth I’m great as I give myself as a part to the great whole then I
Finally identify with His heart that beats for one purpose and reason and that is to love and give all of
self to others
todd kellison Dec 2013
The morning sun trickles through the curtains as a reminder of another day begins
finding the rhythm of life an echo of days past, just a picture out of time unable to break the
cycle of days leading to the recycling of moments of prior.
To hope and pray for a change to change my life to make me new was no where to be found. Placed my hope some thought to be safe, but not the case found pain and sadness in their wake. Anger, fighting, regret and mistreatment  lead to exhaustion and feelings of coldness and emptiness.
When realization sparked like a light bulb going off in my head. This for all of it's faults was my prayer answered a change in my life to change my stagnant life and give it some heat good, bad or indifferent. So watch for the answers to your prayers they may not be as obvious as we think they should be.
Cat Fiske Apr 2015
1,
I will tell you every detail and fact no matter how mean,
lets start off by being honest I was turning sixteen,
2,
my life was falling faster then the leaves from trees,
Dropped like petals from decaying flowers
                 because they were ignored by the bee's,
I was wilting massively wanting to be free,
of my misery,

3,
**** is not something they teach you about,
and when it happened to me it was considered allowed,
Because when he did it,
I didn't have a fit,
or say "No stop",
I just kept crying like I was before in even more shock,
But like a toddlers screams and cries,
Your demanding wants was the only compromise,
But in the the same way,
my cries made me just as much as your baby,
4,
and he didn't take care of me,
like he promised he would,
like any man claims they could,

5,
I was still cutting myself up again,
until December 2014 on the 10th,
That's when I decided to stop,
6,
We had split, in late February,
the year before now as it still felt then it felt even more necessary,
now to cut myself again,
because like my face has been a women though she could be so plain,
and state to me sweetie,
as I listened to a women use words like a child does things sneaky,
As she explained to me how badly you had mistreated me,

7,
I didn't disagree,
but she and I knew I wore a face of unbelief,
like how a drug addict doesn't wish to admit there mistreatment,
but to make it worse she tied in my mother and father,
like tying the rope on there daughter,
8,
I now sat on the floor,
my life I lived was not the same and I couldn't handle more,
I heard her talk to me about the school,
and all the kids there,
and what they did to me,
but right then my body only knew how to go through the motions,
of point A to point B,
when I got up and grabbed a pen,
and began,

8,
I spoke about my 8th birthday my final birthday party,
9,... I mean 10,
I wrote on my arms,
till both looked like a henna tattoo's gone into a complete mess,
but they were names,
and places,
and everything,
because I remembered everyone's words,

11,
I took the pen,
and on each sleeve of hate,
I made what as a normal person would call there own fate,
pen in hand I put pen to skin and pressed down,
and like how you press your lips and body to the person you love
you move around,
12,
the pen was pulled down,
and like Siemens twins
the other helped me drown
the next one.

13,
the day before my birthday I leave the hospital,
and I know what I did was not logical
but like a freak it was probable,
and the kids not knowing the scars on my arms,
the wounds I had created most due to them,
still picked on me,
14,
I went home and my mom yelled at me,
I skipped dinner,
woke to the same thing,
she demanded to drive me in,
and hit me the whole five minute car ride there,

15,
It was my birthday,
my 16th birthday,
and I hit my mother back finally,
while she was driving,
16,
I arrived at school,
and she was cursing at me,
so I cursed back,
Called her a **** and ran inside crying,
6: Talk about the worst birthday you have had. this is all true. i encourage u to write one too, or go to my collection and find one of the 40 story topics and write one,
T mccord Nov 2014
Last night i cried
I cried for everything that hurts me
I cried for my own mistakes
I cried for others‘ mistreatment
I cried because i was hurt
Last night i cried for the pain and sorrow 
I consume
For all the love I‘ve lost
For all the sadness inside me
I cry for letting life pass me by
For all the hurt i endure
For all the things i am to blind and naive to see
Last night i cried for the loved ones lost
For the ****** life i live
For all the friends that befriend me
I cry for all my heartbreak
I cry for myself 
I cry while being intoxicated
I cry while being ****** up 
I cry because i have to be in the wrong state of mind
Last night i cried while listening to music
While closing my eyes before bed
While text messaging a friend
Last night i cried for no reason but i always find one
I cry because i feel paralyzed
I cry because i feel handicapped by life
I cry because of fear
My fear makes me cry
I cry because i have lost everything i have gained
Mostly i cry because of my mistakes
I cry for my family
I cry for my parents sadness
I cry for others people‘s pain
I cry because because of my own unhappiness
Last night i cried to feel free
I cried myself to sleep 
I cried because i could not sleep
I cried because i lack confidence
I cried because i have no will to live
Last night i cried for what others have done to me
I cry because maybe i am truely a lonely  guy
I cry because that‘s all i can do 
I cry because I‘m alone
Now...today,I cry for last nights sorrow
I cry for empathy
I cry for hope 
I cry for guidance
I mostly cry for love and to be loved
Even more so...
We can only hold it in for soo long I finally had my today at 23
Tiffany N Castro Jun 2013
You promised to treat me like a queen...
and you said you loved me, just to veil your cruelty.
You gave me all these "presents."
Just to mask the mistreatment.
Your hands cradle my neck...
Your knives are my crown.
Silver, gemmed, and delicate...
dripping my scarlet rubies.
You're the water in which I drown...
You reflect me, I've been trying to return her
to her home, to her chrysalis...
You're the thief to steal her away with your cruel tactics,
empty promises and kisses...
and lure her to your cold, lifeless, heartless body.
Why must you try to take this poor girl's soul?
You've taken her body, her shell, and poked and dragged your needles through.
I've been trying to give this damsel back her wings...
trying to take back everything you stole.
Everything you stole away from me,
I've been trying to escape your tomb,
and return back to my cocoon.
I've been trying to escape your hell...
and return me to myself.

— The End —