If i could just tell you how much I hate you.
If I could tell you how much you make my life miserable.
If i could tell you what i really thought about you and your "rich" husband or you blonde hair blue eyes skinny girl looks.
If i could tell you how much i hate how you talk so fondly of yourself without realizing everyone fucking hates you.
I would be fired.
I hate the color brown.
I hate my brown hair when I had it and I hated that my eyes were brown when I was younger.
I can't stand the leaves that are now brown or this desert town so dry and brown.
It's the saddest color.
Brown screams earthy to people and to me I just see nothing but dull and useless.
Everything today has been brown...
And it could be psychological of course... It's probably just me being cynically of course!
I really hate the color brown.
It was cold in my room
And all I wanted was for your body
To replace my sheets-
I wanted fingers interlocked
And legs crossing one another and
Body's so entwined we became one-
I wanted laughter suppressed
By whispers of ecstasy as our breath
Was warm on the back of our neck-
I want shivers running down
My spine the minute your fingers touched my back-
It's been a long winter and spring
Seems so very far away
And I miss you-
So when I sleep tonight I'll dream of
Your body against mine and
I'll know you're thinking of me too-
You really fucked me up this time.
Shot to hell and
You're nowhere to be found again.
You're really gone this time around.
Broken in tiny pieces
And I can't find where you hid them.
You really fucked me up this time.
But you're gunna see me when you're asleep.
You're gunna dream of me at night.
You're gunna wish you never met me and that's alright.
These poems seem so happy but the truth is I'm just a...
Sad twenty two year old girl.
I keep these emotions bottled up inside till they just come out with tears and sentences that make no sense at all.
It feels like it should be snowing and my car is threatening to break down and yet I just ...
Keep spending money
Crying for help
Never listening to anyone.
Hope has never been my strong point but right now I could use a little faith. A little faith in something besides this emptiness I feel.
So don't get me wrong with these poems of happiness and of love because I am...
Not in love.
Pathetically trying to get on with life...
I'm hard to love.
I am stubborn and I never take compliments.
I'll deny you every chance I have just because I'm scared.
I'm mean and indecisive and sometimes I make irrational choices.
I don't like being told what to do & I hate admitting when I'm wrong unless I know I'm wrong.
Sometimes I drink to much sometimes I cuss to much and sometimes I cry too much.
I may be hard to love and a bit cynical sometimes but given the chance...
I will love you harder and stronger than anyone else in the world.
I will show you compassion and a deeper side of me than anyone has seen.
I will be your best friend and lover....
I may be hard to love but when I love I go hard.
The fire in my eyes has burnt to ashes and my skin is as pale as the moon above me.
You stole my shallow heart and filled it with hopeless dreams and gorgeous promises that will never come true.
You took my hands and held them to your heart telling me love was the only option.
There is smoke in my lungs and alcohol in my liver and I have no fear of dying any longer.
You were so blatantly rude whenever I asked you to explain why you were leaving.
And the worst is you never had a thing to say.
Or better yet the worst is probably that I believed you actually gave a damn.
Now the time has come for me to say farewell and good day.
Because I've lost my self respect trying to chase you begging you to stay.
There is something about eating Thai food alone. I don't know if it's the music in this tiny place or maybe how friendly everyone pretends to be while they judge you from afar.
And I'm not sure these days if I'm lonely or just tired of being alone? Love is just a far away option I'm not sure will ever be more than past tense.
This piano is giving me a headache... Who am i kidding I have no idea if it's a piano! I just wish I wasn't eating alone.