when I look at her that
everything is so smooth and
taut, I suppose
whereas when I try
I am crooked and unappealing
there is no equivalent in
my world that can compare
i could never be
Well, I finally stated the truth. "idk I'm just tired of it, this drunkness is false happiness." glares up at me as I look about my room. Broke my painting, my sunglasses, wrecked my arm, my liver. Shaking and quivering from too much to drink to the kitchen sink. I think it's time to stop.
Light headed, wandering unknown
through a world that has grown
molded around new hearts
Floating above an era towards something more
spirits soar, becoming lost in a
In a world so perverse, becoming crystallized forever
Within its own coffin of abstract love these machines
march synchronized. Following a manual preset
to live out tired lives.
Each detail, each texture lit upon a soft petal
is ignored. The eyes of children are no longer innocent.
Who knows more of the world than anyone will know?
Yet determined of self-destruction we kill our pathos
We dissolve into a world unbeknown to its fate.
Then let us perish together at once
And feed upon the greed and hatred of those once noble men.
Let us suckle at the breast of ignorance and fan the flames of madness.
In that must we find solace
And within our own fortress seek our own version of purity.
Submit to the will of what we cannot control
And in the end smile because we are finally
Am I adjusting to the slope
that time brings along
Am I all out of hope
what am I doing wrong?
Each thought I think
gets stupider each time
my brain is starting to stink
from my rotten tired rhymes?
Have I reached my peak
has my slide begun?
should I end it now?
stop abusing ink?
I didn't realize that the moments I shared with you, would have to be tucked neat and pretty into the crevices of my heart. I didn't realize that I would be left to remember for the both of us, or that the friend that I should have been was nowhere to be found. I'm sorry. I know in comparison to others you knew, it doesn't matter. My memories are slim, and fleeting glimpses. But I wanted to know you better, more, I wanted to be a sounding board and instead I let your secrets fall from my mouth like stolen gems. There's no one else here to blame. God, you are so brave, I can barely stand it.
Why am I not Happy?
I live a good life.
I'm not hungry
I'm not worrying about my medicine
I have a roof over my head.
But why am I not happy then?
Is it because of that whispering thought
Your friends think your annoying
Your parents are tired of you
And you feel even sadder.
But then that other voice pipes in.
What are you doing!?
Why are you feeling so sorry for yourself?!
And you become guilty
What are you doing?!
You have a house and clothes
Food and medicine
Stop moping around!
And you feel even worse
You start aching
When you walk
And when you breath
And you become tired.
And soon, crying is every day
You can't tell anyone
And soon you feel the worst part
Of this vicious slope
Now you're alone.
There is a stillness that catches me
In middle of the last hours of Summer
Catching me from the inside
Adrift, in the memory of haunted
Centuries that are no more
I hear low voices in the horizon
Chanting syllables of dust
Nothing moves but Autumn’s approach
Time is lethargic and artificial
I can feel the low sky vibrate
Inside my heart, each hour feeling
Larger, more spacious and more fleeting
In an acceleration where memory
Is lost in a whirlwind of sensations
And I promiscuously must harden myself
To survive these faceless moments
I have unlived today’s suffering
Until I escaped memory itself
And the idea that I was conquered by
Mortal hours that had no light to return.