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 Aug 2018 Urmila
Mike Hauser
I'd like to take this moment
While I'm here to thank the world
The opportunity it's afforded me
In the breaking of life's mold
From the youngest age of tenderness
To the aching bones of old no less
From everything that I have seen
I'd like to thank the world

~

If it's even listening
I'd like to thank the world
From past and present history
With the lies that have been told
To what stands out in front of me
What little is left that I can see
From the way it bites to the way I bleed
I'd like to thank the world

~

For continually knocking me off at the knees
I'd like to thank the world
For keeping me up with the latest disease
I'd like to thank the world
As I take this time to toss in my lot
With all my have's and my have not's
For everything I haven't got
I'd like to thank the world

~

For every promise that's been lost
I'd like to thank the world
For daily punches in the gut
And the pain that that's unfurled
From the beginning to the end
The way it drives me round the bend
With the sorrow that it gives
I'd like to thank the world
 Aug 2018 Urmila
Torin
Float
 Aug 2018 Urmila
Torin
I won't worry with the sunrise
I've spent nights carving my name into rocks
One for the moon
Two for you
Three for the stars that still find a way to sing
After all these years
My ever-loving reminder
To trust my fate
And keep my faith

Haven't my feet traveled the lands?
Raging. bold, and confindent
Though winterland
Steel and bone and cold
She dances like Aurora Borealis
As I trod on
Steadfast, determined
Through heat scorched deserts
I find you in the sands

I play with you
Beautiful thing
Beautiful dawn that I rise
Sweet honeysuckle on the vine
The flower, held in my hand close to my chest
The seed
The tree, the plant, the vine, the fruit
All significant
You are
And I know I told you I believe that you are water
You are water to me
However you arrive
In storms or gentle rain
You become rivers to me
Where I go to quench my thirst
To quell my fire
Subdue this spirit, soothe this pain
Love this soul
Bring me to the ocean
 Jun 2018 Urmila
Katlyn Orthman
When I awakened
There was nothing left
Not soul on Earth
Not a single breath

I looked outside
With dread and sorrow
At the empty streets
There is no tomorrow

My fingers shook
With fear and pain
To see my brothers,
Broken and slain

I am the survivor
The guilt came fast
How could I have lived
When all have passed?

I sank to my knees
My head back in despair
I folded my hands
And sent out a prayer

Please take me too
The guilt is too much
Without friends or family
Who're warm to the touch

An angel appeared
A bright swirling light
With a voice that said
"Please live and fight

Although the day seems dim
There is still hope to bear
For you're not the only one
Who wanders in despair

There is one more
Shes kind and not afraid
She will bring a light inside
That's just as bright as day"

I dared to rest my eyes
On the swirling mass of light
In its reflection
It was me ready to fight

I am kind and not afraid
I am as bright as the light of day
I am strong and I will fight
With all my heart and all my might
 May 2018 Urmila
Carolina
The mind of that girl is a pain sanctuary
whose aching decreases due to a world that's imaginary.

From home she goes out to get away,
and all those nights in stranges she relies.

The soft morning breeze
tenderly dries the tears in her cheeks,
and childishly it peeks
through her bloodshot eyes looking for a trace of peace.

Nobody could really tell
if she, bones and flesh, is still alive
or if she's just a wanderer ghost.
Probably the only one of her kind.

The dark circles under her eyes
are a proof of the restless crying nights.

The tangled auburn messed up hair
tells she didn't sleep at home, but no one cares.

Picking up flowers on the way back home,
humming songs that once made her feel whole.
She rests for a few hours and once awake she grabs a pen,
she writes down a poem before she gets drunk again.

Somehow she finds calm
in the simple things of life,
and she tries not to think
about the coldness in her eyes.

Barely getting through, day by day,
trying not to be absorbed by all the grey.

Amassing countless heartbeats
to the final point where life she quits.
 May 2018 Urmila
r
I know I'm not easy
to love
I never was

It doesn't take much
to please me

And when you smile it does

I know some day
you'll leave me

That's just the way it goes
like when a gentle
summer breeze blows

But when you do go
go knowing that I'll know
you were the closest one

Take my heart and run
baby, take it on home

Take my heart and beat it
women, I won't need it
where I'm going.
 Apr 2018 Urmila
Levi Bradford
Spiders.

Snakes.

Late nights, due to the fact that once I saw a possum in our garage when it was dark out.

Good looking people not thinking I'm good looking.

Holding children. I might drop them.

My brothers growing up to be just like me.

Shark attacks.

Jumping off high places.

Headphones that go too deep into my ears.

Going the opposite direction of so many cars. I'm the only one going my way.  They're probably headed the right way. They're probably having more fun.

Realizing that, after being on the road for a while, my high beams have been on the whole time. Sorry.

Cockroaches.

Family reunions where I'm not sure if that really attractive girl is my family or someone's friend.

Climbing up the stairs of the Bombay ride at Wet N' Wild because there just slabs of stone I can see under. I could slip and fall right through.

Enjoying bad bands.

Letting my girlfriend look into my eyes.

Talking on the phone.

Growing up.

Refusing to grow up.

Reading this over if I ever finish it and realizing that I am something less than a regular human being.  Probably an animal of some kind.

Frogs.

Big animals.

Waking up one day as the same person I always have been.

Standing still.

My parents.

Not spending the rest of my life with the girl I swore I would.

Texting people too often.

My parents dying.

Whales.

My teeth being this awful the rest of my life.

Braces.

Making people think they offended me.  People never offend me.

Writing anything that's ever as good as Ernest Hemingway.  How dare I think that I ever could.

Running too hard.  My heart might burst.

Being unreasonable. Am I unreasonable?

Sticking my finger inside an air conditioning vent in a car.  I don't know if there's a fan in there.  I don't know if it'll take my finger off.

Getting people's hopes up.

Letting people down.

Fish.

Bees.

Being a teacher.

My laugh.

Wearing bad clothes.

Holding her hand too hard.  I might cut off circulation.  She might get mad.

My brother disapproving of what I do.

Heaven because it sounds awful doing the same thing for the rest of forever.

Finding out I've been gay this whole time.

Cracking my fingers.

Being a parent.

Whales.

Final exams.

Paranormal Activity 4.

Singing on cue.

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Eating insects.

Whales.

Silence.

The open ocean.

Whales.

Whales.
Sometimes I just need to list everything. I wrote this in 10th grade and strangely enough, I'm still afraid of most of these things. But they have less power over me.
 Apr 2018 Urmila
abby
We are the ones who are hard to understand
We'll be the last ones in the movie theatre
because the ending scene made us cry
We'll stop to smell the roses
because they deserve to be appreciated
We are the ones who will take the time
to learn what keeps you up at night
We are the ones who will imagine
an entire future of adventures
with the people who show us love

We are the ones who will love you more
than we love ourselves
We will give you our strongest parts
in hopes that we can make things better
We desire to see you become the best you
to make sure that you always feel our love
We crave affection and appreciation
We give a piece of ourselves away every day
sometimes to people who don't deserve it
Our love is easy to take advantage of
and sometimes we don't get back
the love that we give away

When we hurt, we crumble and fall apart
We constantly have to put ourselves back together
We are more fragile than we like to give off
We carry our emotions on our sleeves
Our flaws have the ability to consume us
We aren't afraid to give you the world
but we are afraid to feel unloved
We want you to see what we see
We want you to understand where we're coming from

We are good people with good intentions
We are stronger than we believe
Not everyone can feel the way we feel
We feel too much, too often
We are not hard to love
We are something not everyone knows how to love
But you need to remember that
your worth does not change just because
no one is there to appreciate you, to remind you

You are not any less lovable
You are the most lovable person in the world
You are a light that the world needs
Your kindness is not your weakness
You do not need to change for anyone's acceptance
You do not need to stop giving love
just because you don't get any back
Your heart is the best thing about you

And one day when you least expect it
someone will notice you from across the room
and know exactly how to love you
They will think all of these things are beautiful
They will deserve the love you can give
They will fill the empty space in your heart
But for now, don't stop feeling
We are the ones who feel everything so deeply
We are the ones who can't give up because
We are the ones who will teach the world
how to love
We are exactly who we are supposed to be
 Apr 2018 Urmila
Grand Piano
Steps
 Apr 2018 Urmila
Grand Piano
Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling
You know how when you’re not ok but you try so hard to pretend you’re ok that it becomes a ritual
 Apr 2018 Urmila
Slur pee
I know that I’m small
And tend to build structures too tall,
They inevitably weaken;
Crack, crumble, and fall.
The ruins in this beaten chamber,
A reminder- a cratered scar,
A place for me to sink into the filth
and idly crawl.

To hide from heights of hope,
To run away from your calls.
Get rid of you in thought,
And heart

Abandon all.

-SLuR
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