I repeated things so many times,
they've become lies,
and I can't breathe thinking about
the number of times I wished I could
just be alright and yelled why?!
Please,
God!
I yell in my head,
why why why
listen to me this once,
I just want to die.

I try to speak because
I have so many thoughts
and stories to tell
yet I can't find the words
and my head just yells them
arguing back and forth,
what do I say next?

my mind is at war
and I'm just trying to win the battle,
a battle just to open my mouth
but I always seem to lose.
So I just sit there, silent.

And even my tears
seem to
fall
without a sound.

ignoring me
will only make me
raise my voice louder.

when you try to silence me,
I am reminded of why I spoke up
in the first place.

if you want to stop
hearing my voice,
you'll need to start
paying attention
to my words.

I will not be quiet
until you listen.

My heart has been ripped and it is still beating.

When I'm out of control, I find myself changing.

So I curse and yell and continue to keep going.

I don't want to fight, but I want to tell you something.

Then I cry and cry until there is nothing.

Do you know what it's like to have this feeling?