But sometimes
the colors were
brighter
sounds were clear
her mind wandering
wherever it landed
light and colorful
beautiful thoughts
sometimes
these were the
thoughts
that consumed her

She wanted to live
like no one was
watching
live only for herself
and her memories
to care only about
what she wanted
but it wasn't that easy
because all she
did was worry
all she did was
be scared
if only she just lived

she was afraid
when they looked
at her
what did they see
always wondering
what they were thinking
how do they feel
analyzing every
little thing she said
overthinking
she just cared
so much
she just wanted to be
accepted

She just wanted
to live a life
that she would be
proud of
a life that she
was glad she lived for
one that she
would be sad to leave
but would leave satisfied

Sure enough
when all of the
distractions of life
are taken away
you are left
with yourself
your flaws
there for you to
judge
and you alone
your imperfections
for you to pick
apart,  for you to
overranalyze
but mostly it is
there for you to love
to cherish
and to take care of
at the end of the day
you have yourself

When she fell
she could feel
the light, its warmth
its happiness
and its stability
she blinked
and she was
plunged into darkness
a darkness that
drowned her
a darkness that
was a struggle
consuming her life

her mind wandered
as she sat
silent
mind wandering
as her body
should be
thinking of
what she shouldn't
her body was
unoccupied
she had
what they call
wanderlust
if her body
wasn't moving
then her mind
must

she talked and talked
yet no one heard
she talked and
no one listened
they only spoke louder
to them
it didn't matter
she didn't matter
to her
she mattered
what she had to say mattered
no matter how small
they thought
she was

You know that
There are always
Stars
Even when the clouds
Are most dense
But they will always
Go away eventually
Sometimes you have to
Stop
And remember things
Like these

Then she wondered
Is everyones mind
So confusing with
Those twists and turns
jumble of words and
Feelings
So complex
Even to it's owner