You never loved me;
you loved the idea of me.

The idea of having me as yours,
as someone pretty to say "I love you,"
as someone who was always there
to talk to, to complain to.
Someone to think of.

But now that you have her,
you don't need me.
You never needed me.
You needed someone, anyone,
but I wasn't going to let that someone be me.

You never loved me;
you loved the idea of me.

And now you love her.
(the idea of her)

just thinking of you
makes my mind split in two
makes me act like a fool
makes me feel the happiness in my soul
but also feels the sadness too

My fingers are a boat,
Navigating the river of your skin.
Through the bog & long blades of grass,
I picked for you a bush of roses.
In the hopes of making you smile,
Wandering away with thoughts of you.
The kind of peace brought soon
as I see your face.
Though the sun has yet to rise
I’ve sunk down in the pores of your skin.
Searching for the best flowers I can find.
Day after day
Night after night.
I’ve dived & I’ve sunk
Curious of what I’ll find,
At times I didn’t want to leave.
My fingers free to roam the curves
Of your body with nothing to tie them down.
Your body a wave gentle & smooth,
Guiding me to where I sought
In mind body & spirit.
Through the bog & long blades of grass.
I placed all the flowers I found in your heart.
Wild & free
Tomorrow, I’ll return to do the same
To watch the sunrise of your cheeks

Hold me in your brain
Close to memories you're soon
To forget.
Only time will tell, close to things you'll
never forget.
Hold me in your brain with
Things that make you laugh, things
that make you cry.
If for some reason you feel afraid.
I'll be right there.
Reminding you how good it feels
being close to you.
To help if you should ever forget.
Your favorite song to dance to in the rain.
The good memories and also the bad.
I feel completely & utterly safe
Dancing around in your brain.
Deep in the catacombs I hope you don't forget.
Reminding you how good it feels,
being this close to you.
The cover that protects you from all the monsters under your bed.
The fear of being yourself if confronted with something new.
Another thought that eases your brain.
Only time will tell.
Close to the things you'll never forget
To help if you should ever forget.
Your favorite song to dance to in the rain

Sometimes I feel that it isn't right,
How close we are but yet
So far apart.
There's not a day, a single
solemn minute that goes by
That you don't cross my mind.
I've taken every piece of you &
Hoarded it, for better or worse.
To the point I can barely recognize
which parts are me
& which are you.
These bright and colorful reminders.
I've taken it all.
In walking distance so far from where
we began.
I've taken it all,
& held it tight without question.
On the days I really wanted to see you,
You were numb.
for better or worse.
To the point I can barely recognize
which parts are me
& which are you.
You've stuffed me with long sharp pins,
pressing them deep
Without consideration to how it feels
or how I'd feel.
Not once have I said a word,
In walking distance so far from where
we began.
On the days I really wanted to see you,
which parts are me
& which are you.
There just isn't anymore room,
Those were your words to me

The world rushes by through my window
I try to capture each glimpse in my mind
How can I save the small wonders I know
If the scenes come just as quick as they go

I watch it all pass in the distance
Wanting to spare these memories for you
But futility holds with resistance
And those things slip away in an instant

What is it worth if I can't have you here?
Beauty is dull and amazements are cheap
Nothing can matter when my heart isn't near
I'd trade all these sights for you to appear

Some nights you
were the moon.
Sailing through waves of milk
Before disappearing
into the vulnerability
Of what we keep on the inside.
It's no wonder why cookies
Are so popular.
The outer edge
drenched in saliva,
Curiously protecting
what's kept Precious.
A slight pause before everything
Is mushed & swallowed.
Some nights you were the moon.
Drenched in white fudge
Swirling in a universe all of your own.
Some nights you were the universe
Itself