Cells burst
Telomeres shrink,
Hurtling towards destruction
He called me a misanthrope.
Know thyself, I said.
My life is chaos;
Pink moons and hurricanes
We all fall down
Dead woman walking

I love someone who isn’t mine to love.
I bath in what he has left to give to me.
It’s never enough. Never enough.
I love someone who isn’t mine to love.
We share hidden smiles and forbidden moments.
It’s never enough. Never enough.
I love someone who isn’t mine to love.
I heartache of loneliness is mine alone.
More than enough.

I watch you from the outside
Begging at my feet, saying again
again that you love me.
Banging on the glass. While she
throws herself on you from behind.
You couldn't notice.
You couldn't notice it was killing me.
But her eyes were looking at mine,
eyes that challenged threatened,
demanded me to give you up.

I was never loved and too afraid to fight
Running was my only vice.
I don't know how to fight her to stay back.
When you jabbed me with you smile,
"She is my best friend, baby, be nice."
So I put on a smile and my mascara,
gritted my teeth in the face of fire.

But she was always there. Quiet, lurking
snarling at me whenever you were not here.
It broke me, but you didn't care.
You saw the sweet girl in your best friend.
And your girl the crazy *****.

I loved you.
I watched you beg, banging, crying, pleading from the outside.
I ran.

Stop coming into my life if you have no intention of staying.
I’ve ended us so many times,
But you push us back together.
No matter how many times I tell you,
Enough is enough.
Enough isn’t good enough for you.

Sneaking around was never part of a friendship that I wanted.
Lying about where I go, was never something I signed up for.
Being the other woman, was never in the description.
But being my friend isn’t all you want.
But yet you have no desire to be more than that.

You can’t keep coming in and rearranging my house,
Especially when I’m still putting it back after the last time you left.
I want you to visit, I’ve wished for you to stay.
But you can’t keep pushing in with no intention of paying rent.
Either sign a lease with me or keep your apartment.
Because soon, you will lose any place you ever had in mine.

I want what you have
I want your dreams; the ones that scare you shitless
I want your secrets; the ones you can’t share with anyone
I want the thoughts that keep you awake at night; the ones that excite you
I want the ideas you want to share; the ones you know you never will share

I need what you have
I need your arms around my waist; the arms that will never be there
I need your lips pressed against mine; the lips that mine will never touch
I need your ***** smile smiling at me; the smile that will never look in my direction
I need your stupid ugly khaki jacket around my shoulders; the jacket that will never be near me

I wish that I have what you have
I wish I had your idiotic confidence; the confidence that I will never get back
I wish I had your insanely smart brain; the brain that has put up barriers against me
I wish I had your annoyingly inappropriate jokes; the jokes that you stopped telling me
I wish I had your ability to captivate the world; the captivation you no longer use on me

I yearn for what we could have been
I yearn to have an unconditional love; one that will never break
I yearn to have uncontrollable kisses; ones that we are unable to stop
I yearn to have cheesy promposals; ones that make everyone jealous of us
I yearn for extravagant valentine's day gifts; ones that make me want to scream and cry

You don't want what I have
My dreams; the ones that will never happen
My secrets; the ones that will tear people apart
My thoughts that keep me up at night; the ones that can even terrify me
My ideas that I want to share; the ones that would wreak havoc on everyone

You don’t need what I have
My thick messy hair; the hair that constantly falls in my face
My ***** brown converse; the ones with the laces falling apart
My empty grey eyes; the eyes that stare straight at you watching you ignore me
My annoying voice; the voice that says ****** comments to protect herself from your friends

You don’t wish to have what I have
My brutal honesty; the honesty that burns bridges
My crazy distrust; the distrust that worries my mother
My unbelievable pessimism; the pessimism that causes people to leave
My need to control everyone; the need to control that consumes all of my thoughts

You don’t yearn for what we could have been
You don’t yearn for unconditional love; not with me
You don’t yearn for uncontrollable kisses; but with her
You don’t yearn to give cheesy promposals; you would do anything to be with her
You don’t yearn to give extravagant valentine's day gifts; you would give anything to be with her

No matter how much I want...need...wish...yearn for you
You will always be wanting, needing, wishing, and yearning for her more
She is the pulsing red dot you are moving towards
I am barely more than a blip on your radar.

And though I know he has a wife
I cannot help myself I've realised
Every night in my mind
This man i lust for is already mine
I rode  his ****
slow wine on the tip, bounce on the head my ***** grips him tighter,
juices flowing on his ****
He held my waist and pull me down ******* his **** as it gets bigger inside of me.
  
  The harder I rode , the sweeter it felt
  I bit my lips......moaning and groaning...... Then he spanked my ***
His **** keeps hitting my spots the right way,
making my body quiver as my breast sways
I can feel the tip pressed against my womb,
His **** teasing me, sending me over the edge,
My muffled screams filled the room

you take my breast into your mouth
my ******* become rock hard
and sensitive to your touch.
I begged you to rub my **** as you drive your **** in me,
drawing my ****** closer with every voracious stroke.
I love this sensation so much
My legs became weak and my arms can no longer hold onto you,
the sensation you created in me is bursting out if me like a tsunami.
My ***** floods your **** with its love juices,
And you filled my convoy with your entire army
  
His hands ***** my ******* and he continue to ravage my ***** with his almighty ****,
He bend me over,
insert his **** into my quivering *****,  fingers caresses my ****,
my ***** pouring it's content onto his **** my body grows weaker to his  touch,
Of this amazing phenomenon I can never get enough

Head down,My legs wide apart,
my *** raised high in the air
He enters my promise land with ease and ravage my secret garden to shreds.
I can feel you in me baby, your **** vibrating into my core,
your desires throbbing deep inside me,
my body heats up and I feel you quiver,
the rage in you pours out and the pleasure within my soul burst out,
mixing together as we both ******, breathing heavily, too tired to move,
to satisfied to think.

In the morning when I wake
I know that things will be the same
But every night I go to bed
This fantasy I'll replay in my head
         

              *La Vida Love

There is always truth in deceit.

A truth that could be realized no other way.
A truth that tried

time
and
time
again to rear its head

Truth lies  (tries)

in deceit.

TRUTH LIES IN DECEIT.
Don’t you get it?

Look to your deceits and find


your *Truth.

she's a wild unconventional girl
her hair flies about her in wisps
she seems to be the one with bare feet everywhere
her friends call her a mystery and a tease
but not in the alluring curl-of-a-finger sort of way
in the way that she is deep
deep as her eyes are blue like the ocean
eyes that are so old, they tell stories of pain
buried beneath layers no one will ever see
including this femme fatale herself
she attracts those with the purest hearts
she doesn't even corrupt them, just makes them think too much
she's the other woman who is as beautiful as her photographs
she throws her head back when she laughs
she is familiar to everybody and yet always seems untouchable
if you touch her you are brave or a fool
she will always be that one
the one that got away but also you got away from

She seemed to have the ability to catch his eye
When he walked in to a room, he could feel her presence
She flourished like a daffodil in the spring and I wilted
I sank in to myself and was invisible

He would talk of her like I was not his entirely
Like he did not have my heart on marionette strings
And little by little, with every mention of her name,
He took rusty scissors and snipped at the fibers

He disregarded it all entirely, like I was delusional
Maybe he just wanted to protect me from what he knew I knew
What he tried to bury inside himself and hide behind his stoic mask
That old friend we both knew so well

I sat up and thought to myself countless doubtful days
"What does she posses that I do not? Is my love not enough?"
As much as I envied the way he loved her, there was never a second
That I felt enmity towards this woman that held my lover's attention

It was only a deep longing in my heart to make him feel
Even a modicum of the way she made his heart bloom
To have him run to me and want me in his life
Instead of coveting someone he only claimed to be his friend

In place of hating the other woman, I foolishly tried my hardest
To befriend her, to appreciate the same qualities in her that he did
She even invited me to something so I wouldn't hate him for going
I wish she had known me well enough to know I wanted to be friends

Over the years, I got stronger and wiser, but I still was his fool
The boy I loved so much could never reciprocate those feelings for me
He wandered and I let him go, to go chase what I knew he always wanted
But she did not desire him, and as mean as it sounds, it felt like justice

But time has gone far out in to space, I have lived since him
And she is now where I was, a life's love lost for another
In all of this, my only hope for her, is that she finds the strength
To not hate the other woman even though he loves her

It was not your fault he went away, he was never meant to stay
If it wasn't for you, I would have not known of his incomplete love
Thank you for saving me the agony of living my life with the wrong man
I pray you never give up hope in love and in life
Because someone better will come along exactly when you need them

My mind & heart do not always agree,
But I can tell you for certain that they both wait patiently.
Patiently for thines love to begin just as mine has for thee...