It's not OKay :

To let people run over you like its a normal thing to do.

To overthink everything and trouble yourself.

To keep thinking about how others react to your response.

To let anyone control your life.

To keep waiting for love and feel miserable because you don't have one.

To keep all your emotions bottled up but there's always someone who cares.

To cry yourself to sleep every night.

To get hurt but not say anything, to avoid conflict.

To not to state your opinions because no one cares.

To feel depressed but not say.

To have that tired feeling all day long and getting it worse in the night.

To wake up every morning and feel disappointed because you didn't die last night.

To be scared of this world and "what's" out there.

To want to fall in love but being scared to ever trust anyone.

To wish to not to live anymore.

To write this all, but never follow it.

They said
Don’t wear leggings
Or a shirt that shows your cleavage
Because you need to be covered up
You’re a distraction

They said
Don’t use your period as an excuse
For male teachers to let you go to the bathroom
Because you’re not fooling anybody

They said
Don’t shave your head
Boys can
You can’t and don’t
And won’t because we’ll suspend you

They said
Watch the length of your skirt
The color of your hair
The shoes and makeup
The piercings
And they call that fair

They said
Come to us if something is wrong
if you’re feeling bullied
if you feel unsafe
I guess they don’t remember asking my friend and I
if we heard of anyone in our year with suicidal tendencies
They asked us because
We were the sensible ones
The bright ones
We couldn't have been depressed.
I guess they didn’t see my panic
and my hand squeezing my wrist.


Because school
Is not a place
Where you can express who you are
School is not the place where you feel safe
It's a battleground on the outside of your comfort zone.

School isn’t about education
Its a challenge, competition
Its a measurement of your capabilities  

But what if you don't excel?
You’re called out for not being good enough
You're humiliated. Mocked.

You get looked down on
Judged
Embarrassed
And you don’t get your
Degree

As if a degree explains who you are
What you’ve been through
How much you’re worth

As if a degree
Measures the capacity
Of your heart
And your knowledge

And a teacher can share your grade
Make a joke and smirk
Cause they think you’re not worth it

And they can laugh and yell and call your parents
Who don’t think you’re any better.

Because year after year they’ve been led to believe
that you’re easily distracted
that you don’t do what you’re told
that you’re rebellious

Because even if you showed respect to the hypocrisy
That you can't help but notice,
They still won’t understand that you're just fighting
for what you believe is right, for mutual respect.

Because that’s not what you were thought.
You were thought to raise your hand when you want to speak.
And even if you made a valid point
You would still get lectured on putting your hand up when you want to speak.
Discipline put first.

**And that is my definition of school

there are million of words
left unsaid inside this gut.
similar to every volcanoes,
there will be
                      time
for this gut(ter) to blow up,
burst of processed thoughts
that kept inside for yearlong.
whether you like it or not,
give a **** or not,
ain't no **** were given


'cause it's about the time.

This feeling that everyone talks so much about...
I think I feel it for you,
and it scares me so much.

Is it possible that I do?
I keep denying that I do, hoping lying to myself with make it go away.

You think you got me heartbroken
Well tell yourself you’re wrong
Don’t think I’ve forgotten
The lies you’ve spoken
God Seth
Wake up to yourself!
You’re a mess
You put people through the stress
Might as well wear a dress
No wonder why you’re so depressed
You’re ****** in your own selfishness
I haven’t forgiven you

I was always told girls don't cuss
they don't speak out of turn
they let the guy control the relationship
I was 5 when my mom told me to sit
Even straighter than the 180 degree line
I sat at
She said boys were scouting
And I was their prey
I didn't know
the way I dressed
Determined
If I was a ***** or not
Because we live
In a society
where **** shaming
Is encouraged
And how many girls
Did you **** last night
was an encouragement
But if I try and tell someone
I want attention
And I’m not really the victim
Because it was my fault
For dressing like I wanted it
My father told me not to argue with men
So the second time
You encased
Me in my nightmare
I didn’t try to fight
bruises linger from the first time
I felt worthless
you made me lose my worth
because my shoulder was
too provoking
the spark in my eyes gone
the emotion held on my face
non existent
as you pined me to the floor
you said
don't tell anyone
and my father taught me
to never argue with a man.