Day after day
I was learning
that the yearning
and pain would never go away
That I was a bent rod
a traveler so long
lost along a road
so wrong...
I was seeing clearer
the shattered lad in my mirror
manacled in horror
of echos of the past
reverberating through the threads
of time,
a man cursed
to forever shiver in cold of desolation
and to always seek consolation
in the glamour of rhyme
yet never mind
that he'd never find...
Day after day
I was learning
that the clouds of strife
in my life
would always be the blanket
that stops my Sun from shining
and that my trumpet
was bound to rust
as no one would bear
their lips on dust...
none would love me enough to dare.
as I were a flower in the wild
growing on shitload piled...
a heart punched and filed
a destiny's child
a million pieces compiled
on a future defiled.
I was a forgotten dream
a dried up stream-
cracks instead of Adam's ale
a snail without a shell
corpse pale...
I was my own hell,
strange
they said things would change,
that time would tell...
yet there was nothing left
to be told of my story
though I wasn't one to feel sorry
as I'd been through more ****
than I could spit.

If only I could find the fluffy comfort of your embrace from my pillow
the chill of your touch from the smooth caress of my bed sheets
the warmth of your firm ******* from my bed while I rest
the solace of your voice from whistling of birds at dawn
or the violent murmurs of rivers soaked in pain by storming rain
If only I could find the saccharine succulence of your lips from honey
or rather from flamboyant nectarine  April showers bloomed in June
the gold of your smile on the laughing face of the  full moon
the fulfilled promise of the joy you lend my soul from money
If only the sky  were as captivating blue as your hazel eyes
and the melody of your inspiration existed in musical beats
if only the curvature of the horizon was as fluid as your waist
the company of loneliness as welcome as that of a succoring guest
in the desolate nights clogged by frigid fog of your absence
and snow flakes of nostalgia falling from the skies of despair
fueled by the perilous weather in your climatic silence
If only dusk was synonymous to your captivating complexion
only then would I say that something else would stir an insurrection
but as it stands, no vivisection can match this tantalizing obsession
You own all of me, nothing can ever have all this attention and affection...

It was a story of
why and when
of now and then
of miles I ran
of mice and men
It was a story
of lost at Sea
of fantasy
with ecstasy
for the much I longed to see
in A-B-C
it was a story
of storms
broken homes
lost norms
silent gongs
rightful wrongs
it was a story of
strings and thongs
sweet unsung songs
of fractured bones
and forgotten bonds
it was a story of
wild fires to fend
scars to tend
the rigid to bend
a story of foe and friend
of consolation that does pend
of craft we didn't send
and of trying in vain to blend
It was a story hardly penned
for all who could "henned"
A cyclonic story
none could understand
why it didn't end...

It ***** that I miss you,
it hurts that I never ever had a chance to kiss you
wait a minute, can't believe it...
I haven't forgotten your number,not even a digit
it angers realising I'm no longer the comics on your thread
the best Facebook posts and tweets you read
I doubt I'm in your heart when you evicted me from your head
it ***** that I'm no longer that call you lust for at daybreak
the ears that listened to your endless lamentations
the ocean where you channelled your tears when you had a headache
miss being the lad you confide in your outrageous contemplation
I'd go back if you could return to the lady you used to be
sacrificing much of this present cause you mean lots to me
I miss the jolly girl who had big dreams and hated reality
that you changed is a travesty with utmost fatality
you were that lass who understood and explored my despair
the only mortal who'd see the invisible stair
up my utopian architectural castles hanging in the air
whatever happened so much so that you hardly even care
you're far albeit I tried to keep us as close as it once was
but the more I kept knocking the tighter you locked the doors
it hurts that I didn't manage to let you know what lies in my heart
can't imagine anyone else loving me without ripping me apart
it's sad that you'll never get to know the comfort you brought
and the courage with which I rowed when we were in the same boat
you locked me out and walked singly into the dawn
say for the lack of a better word you termed us apart "alone"
yet now you pride in company of your own
with a bevy of beauties who kicked me off my throne
if I'd known that we'd drift before the epilogue
I would have said goodbye to your charm at our prologue
it hurts that you don't know that it hurts missing you
it hurts but there's nothing much I can do
I can't return to the past that is clearly lost
neither can I cast out your spell fingers crossed...
for I'm still crazily in love with the one I can't have
drowning in these tumultuous thoughts barely alive
hanging on a thread and hoping I survive

Thank you, thank you for loving me...
for bearing the moments I went past the line...
but mostly, thank you for finding me rudderless in the dark Sea of solitude...
I'm no longer as lost as I used to be...
you're my bearing, the south of the wife I want to return home to,
the north star that sparkles on my mind,the honest East I trust
and the far West carrying the answers to most of my puzzles and questions...
You're the north north East that guides the winds of my heart
and I've started raising the sails again, the masts seem too rotten to survive turbulent Seas
but I'm willing to go against those rough waves and storms
I'm progressively getting rid of my anchors, going far from the shores
for there's more to find in the unchartered waters of your affection,
reason enough to abandon the safety of my harbour and risk again
you're the East-northeast whence cometh the journey birds of completeness
that decorate the vast Ocean of my hitherto desolate soul,
The East-southeast that carries the spate of passion and inspiration
propelling me into this man I have always wanted to be,
the South-southeast to discovering ultimate bliss and peace ,
You're a South-southwest where I found the cure to my bruises
and the West-southwest reflecting the ambient eternity I desire
You're also the West-Northwest of a divine future you and I deserve
You're even the North-Northwest dock where rests
the once wrecked yacht of my bitter past and chaining experience
that you've tirelessly fixed with your endless breathtaking love
you're my bailer and life without you was my tenacious Jailer
you're everything to me without which I'm a totally lost sailor
you speak straight to my heart even if we're a million miles apart
and I doubt anything in this life will ever counter that
for besides being my rudder, you lifted me out of doldrums
you're my ladder,you saved me from the splintering tantrums

You've healed me in more ways than any drug could...
sealed most of the cracks on my broken heart
without leaving spaces like an artist does fine pottery
you've freed my chains and rescued me from self-slavery
but still stretched and touched the depths none could ever reach...
restored the courage that I once possessed...
and made a man out of that little boy I was
I'm a knight in shining armour overcoming my wars
because of you, you've showed me the roads I never knew existed
exposed a spectral beauty of the world I could never see
and rescued me from totally drowning in fantasy
You've helped reality and I come to terms after a long time
and seasoned my happy poems with spices of rhythm and rhyme
you've helped me cross the many unstable bridges
and to the broken doors of opportunity nailed new and stronger hinges
you've brought an aura of peace to my soul, the moon and the stars
I'm bleeding naught in love for most of my wounds are scars
you've loved me even better than my mother did
firmly held my hand and led me out of the dark caves I was hid
and propagated a light finer than all illumination,even the sun
you've given me wings and even cautioned me not to burn
like Icarus did fatally flying too close to the magnetic sun
you've taken my heart, filled every canyon and gaping hole
and I'm remorseful for believing the broken don't whole
you've showed me kindness above the good Samaritan level
connected the island I was to the landmass of your affection
and kicked out the cold of loneliness with warmth and real attention
like no one could,above all you've fostered my survival
you've heard the loud whimper in the silence of my shout
and answered my questions beyond the point of doubt
you're the Angel even those in paradise wish they can be
sadly the universe and destiny sit right between you and me
albeit I can't savour your seemingly sweet scent, my heaven sent
you have always felt closer to me than any attire of mine
for your kindness sparkles brighter than any star will ever shine
and you're beyond the normal lass in any lad's dream
yet this isn't close to being the reason I love you,creme del a creme
my love for you is beyond the measure of human reasons
beyond mortal seasons, and what's more?my love's incapable of treason

I woke up this morning and asked myself this question
How far have I gone on the avenue of moving on?
I got no immediate reply but then when I stood by the window pane
the fingers of dawn were still desperately seeping through
the spaces where you used to stand and hugging the cold bed.
the curtains swung in mutiny blown by angry winds
winds which hitherto our break up gracefully lifted your brunette hair
I walked out and even the door creaked in mockery of my loneliness
and guess what happened when I looked back!
your beautiful pillows were more red than burning charcoal
my eyes hurt at the light the Sun shot, I had to blink
the usually harmless orange orb was harshly telling me to think
I ignored the concerns of all these guys for it was my life
not for the curtain or the rays through the window pane
the pillows, the doors and the cold bed knew nothing about my pain
so I walked back to the sink and washed my face
and the splashing sounds seemed to echo, my home's like my heart
without you there's a void, my home's an empty place
couldn't ignore my ears, unlike others,they were here right from the start
they know the truth like my eyes, nose and lips
my eyes grudgingly shut missing the touch of your palms
my tongue touched my lips trying to restore their faith
even the touch of my tongue didn't feel close to your wine kisses
so I ultimately got my reply, I am still limpid and in pieces
your closet still carries everything you left
the kitchen still clatters calling out your name
I redid the walls but with even the smell of fresh paint
I assure nothing changed, everything's still the same
in the night I freeze clutching at the monsters of your absence
with ravenous longing and burning desire that could start a fire
tears crawl out my eyes in devastation to burn out the flame
I haven't moved on,not a single step from that day
my feet are liquid with the heat of defeat and remorse
arms paralysed by coldness for my fingers miss the warmth of yours
the spaces asking for soft fingers that fitted between perfectly
the skies of my soul have been cloudy since, my eyes do the rain
big boys don't cry yet I can't make every tear disappear
that can't happen unless you return, unless you're right here
I know I said I wouldn't miss you,I was wrong
without you I'm but rubble and shards, I'm eating my words
so please come home, come back where you belong
I won't move on,yet behind is where my beautiful future lies
I miss the whispers, I'm fed up of nightmares and whimpers
I promise forever if you return, no more goodbyes,
just a white dress and a ring,I promise the isles,
come home my love, you're the home, you're my wife.

I can be a star that shines through your night and day
a painting that sticks on the feathery canvas
the radar to your ship, the enduring campus
the words that are so difficult to say
I can be the one leaf in windy seasons that never falls
but sticks with you till the very moment eternity calls
the beautiful melody that never ceases to sing
the serene filled drone which may never sting
I can be the careful and graceful bird that never perches
the unnoticed but concerned eye that always watches
the willing helping hand in your times of need
the much desired friend in need,a friend in deed
I can be every joyful and melancholic poem you've ever read
a roseate flower whose frail petals never fade
the green thick dense canopy to always bring you shade
the one who makes your twisted world a better place
I can be wide spectral smiles to colour your love locked face
A friend against foes, a kiss on your cheek,
Or a secret in your palm to hold you whenever you're weak
I can be more than just a phone call and text
a mechanic who gets the wreck of your broken Heart fixed
Or lifeless images of glowing eyes and tearful emotions,
and the eternal rivers of hope flowing within to Oceans
I can invent the technology to teleport you here
be the keeper who whispers sweet somethings in your ear
the destiny you've always wanted to have
I can make that dream lad you've always wanted to love
if only you give me a chance,and to the rhythm of life rise to dance
walk barefooted through thorns, I can take the bull by his horns
I can be the Madonna whose bloom conquers all seasons
and outlives eternity if only you understand my reasons