Forgive me, I won't

demand so much anymore --


and then receive more.

Here it is ...
My reconciliation statement begins with these questions:
Am I the locus of the problem?
Am I xenophobic?
A supremacist, perhaps?
Certainly neither of those but ...
Am I complicit?
What did I elicit?

Here I am all wrapped up in my trauma bonds
hoping someone will help me to see.
Maybe I am attracted to wounding.
What do I have to do? How am I gonna be?

My pain receptor's cry out:
Feed me!!!
And this is where my attachments are
inflicted
and this is when my attachments are
conflicted

But now I've found some nurturing
and something new is blooming
triggered: guard up
un-triggered: guard down

I am working through my oppressors and
reacquainting myself with allies

It was an invisible war
and it is no more because
my ceremony of innocence
is drowned.

Trust breaking

With a bang of sound
Shards exploding in all directions

Or with slow corrosion
One drip at a time

Until it finally
                           fully
                                      snaps

Trust is the framework
Upon which we build
Relationships
Expectations
Dreams

Everyday things like
Pick up when I call
Do it if I ask

Extraordinary things like
Travel great distances just to be near you
Even when nothing can be done
Be with you as you bear the weight of your pain
To share the load

How do we mend the breach
When trust is broken

I know there are ways
Methods to span the distance
Rebuild the framework
Patch the hole
To start again

But ignoring its existence
Pretending all is as it was before

The boom
Or the drip

Leaves a bad taste in the mouth
Questions in the mind
Shaky ground on which to stand

Will I have to span this distance alone?
Pretend the ground is solid
When there’s nothing but air

That kind of pretense only lasts so long
Before strength gives out
The truth is revealed
And we are both left free falling
                                                           disconnected
                                                                                      through space

it's such a wonder that
these hardness and roughness
make me softer and gentler

after i fathom the devil's story
the downstream is a sea of mercy
wisdom unravels the impurity

and someday when you laid down, wrinkled
i'll say no curse, but apology
and pacifying eulogy

for i hope you'll land on grass too, not fire
and we left with amnesia of the bad blood
only peace and party in our eternal world

Somewhere beyond the sea
In the Square for you and me
A Lady stands for liberty
While the tanks come rolling

Somewhere beyond the sea
She's there for you and me
Standing tall with light held high
And all to her side she's calling

It's far beyond the stars
It's near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
Brave hearts will lead us there soon

We'll meet beyond the shore
We'll stand proud as before
Safe and free beyond the sea
And never again those tanks go rolling

We'll meet—I know we'll meet—beyond the shore
We'll stand proud as before
Safe and free beyond the sea
And never again those tanks go rolling

beauty is in the heart
freedom is within the mind
and peace is found
when we unbind

from our earthly attachments

reconciling, that sparse is our time
there will come a day
where youth will pass away
convictions, less in the sense of values but crime
you'll have wished you spent your earlier years
with a nose fixed to the grind
wouldn't that have been grand
in the latter part of your life
to have no worries on the mind
no cares, but for
time time time

When you start to feel hapless,
This feeling that you are hopeless
Just making you feel the emptiness
That chains the heart and makes you feel helpless

Don't let that feeling mislead you anymore
Just acquire what the soul is crying out for
Hi back and unite with your maker
The one the soul calls father