& now I know this life is mine -
to embrace the change that awaits,
& relish the beauties of the vast world,
capturing the essence of the everlasting,
this is where I reclaim my solace -
& now I know this life is mine

I can see the light coming through
beginning to flood us
there’s something honest about being here
call it understanding
give it a willing name
it knows exactly what to say
I need me the most.

Get up off your thinking chair
and ski-doo all your blues away
Drive a cold heart through a snow drift
Realize that the static's too blurry
to rationalize through the fake
So don't look for clues, junior
The facts of life are that sitcoms
are no way to base a future
So all I can do is find breathtaking views
and write words that ought to be listened to
by people kneeling in pews

A singular urge is a first,
reach out and stretch to grasp what's ahead.
Craving the crest of a wave,
we're high on the day as it's made.

Each is a slave where emotions are led,
fixed with impatient aches when we age.
Hard to remember which intentions were sent,
resetting said objectives of late.

Targets in sight from the white of your eye, these short lived events curl up in death.
Less than a wisp as it fades into air,
rolling along to reclaim what we shared.

I decided to give you back

I know now



I thrive with those who see
where I begin

What cannot be yours,
no further shall be desired of.

Sunk into shallow waters,
gone up in smoke,
narrowly ablaze.

Torn to pieces,
unabashedly re-framed.
No matter what you desire of,
at the end must be yours and reclaimed.

The vibrations shake,
as my eyes awake,

 and realize,
 as I visualize;

The cages bolted up
around me, minds corrupt

 with lies of the honey,
lathered on this dummy.

the scars cling on,
Reminders thereupon

enlighten the subconscious,
 as I live among the conscious.

The last breath is taken,
As from this trance I awaken.

There are holes in my memory,
missing pieces of time
claimed by malnutrition.

It is a bitter pill to swallow,
knowing that my own actions
had such severe consequences.
Knowing that I so wholeheartedly believed
that what I was doing was right,
that it was what I deserved.

Losing pieces of myself
to an identity that did not belong to me.
A girl is not supposed to be a disorder
becoming nothing more than an illness personified.