Maybe I dwell on things too much
Keep on overthinking
These thoughts are such predators
Keep on consuming
Me and my words, I never uttered
Fear of ruining
The things that might actually matter
To me assuming
Everything is ok, it can't be better
Life not dooming
That's why I'm such a procrastinator
Keep on procrastinating

It hurts
Not because of the void of today
Not because I no longer get to call your name
But because you know how much of a procrastinator I am
You know, I'm disorganized,
I never plan
My vision has always been vacant

But you want to know why it hurts?
Why my ego and my pride took such a hit, the wounds still burn?
It's because I envisioned a future
I saw you and I, together
I started planning, I created a calendar
Just so our lives could fit better

So, yeah, it doesn't hurt because of the present
Or because of what happened then
It hurts because letting you go meant letting go of our future
Of the only source of certainty in my calendar

Something always present
But never seen

A presence that drags and pulls
At your very being

It dictates your actions and captures you
In its' thrall

It causes deaths and removes ideas'
As you walk, covered in its' shawl

It blocks out everything
Emptying the mind

Controlling the entire body
Making one blind

Boredom is an assassin
Of the creative soul

But is a creator and leader
for some in a hole

to do today
or leave till tomorrow -
a simple thought
that only requires
my procrastination.

a sigh of tiredness
hoping that it could
only be done
on a day that's
not today.

a wish of regret,
coming on the last minute
of when something
could have been done
before.

a mere idea
to be deepened over time
after quite a while
when i did it
not today.

having so many
questions, questions, and more
that will be
answered
never.

then
i think to myself,
i can do it today
[ but i can also do it
not today. ]

while they are drowned in their dreams so deep
i'm sippin' coffee with plans of no sleep