For the first time ever; I truly do not care
    if you, him, or her wished me a happy birthday;
But, I wouldn’t mind if you did. Though it is fair;
    I am one of the lesser friends; I am a boring play;

A play so fake; I am of made up characters,
    Sometimes I am the flattering villain in smiles,
And at times I am a copy of the Westerners,
    At others, I am gullible, yet I never am;

I pretend to be; but I am miles away,
    For interesting I am not; so funny at least be,
Says my brain; for maybe they will remember,
    That my birthday was today; It is an endless plea:

I always remember and prepare pages of wishes,
    For almost everyone, but all I get is 4 days late
One liners sent out of guilt; to stop the guilty itches,
    Not out of care, love, or from genuine friendly state;

I deserve it; for again; I am merely a boring play;
   A paradoxical headache of weird introverts,
And annoying extroverts; I barely even weigh,
    To a normal person; I am made of endless alerts;

Alerted, focused, attentive; all on your acceptance;
    I am what I feel you want me to be; a nice man,
A racist gangster, a diplomatic figure; I am resemblance,
    I resemble everything I see in you and scan;

I am stardust that was never meant to shine,
    I am a thread; intertwined as I feel pleases,
I am a road with temporary signs; I am grapes;
    For you I squeeze myself into juice; or ferment

Into wine; I am a fake play where you write scripts,
    I submit, because all I cared about is receiving,
A birthday wish. On that one day in the entire year;
     I do not want even want gifts; because when you don't,

I feel like I am ceasing to exist; slowly deceasing
    from everything that we were: teenagers ambitious,
WhatsApp stickers collectors, School runaways,
    Kids deceiving; it feels like I am dead; for the dead

Do not receive birthday wishes; I feel peerless;
    A white beans *** lidless, a body complete limbless,
A walking sickness, a moving flesh in stillness,
    unpardoned by my faux and obvious silliness.
  
I do not care about not getting birthday wishes;
         But I cannot not overthink what it means.

I won't pretend I can keep every promise I make. And I know good intentions can only take you so far. But I promise...it's OK if you need to let go

You pretended you meant none of what you told me,
so I pretended that every word you ever said to me was a lie.

Every compliment.
Every "I love you."
Every promise.

Beneath the surface,
I know that you meant all of it
and more.

I just pretend it was all fake
because you told her
she was real.

Is love not supposed to come in the form of abuse
Am I not supposed to accept every repeated excuse
When you say you love me
Is it intended to be true
Because you want me to say it back
Like the only person for me is you
But the only person for you is who you want it to be
And sometimes it's her
And sometimes it's me
Sometimes I wish I could just be free
But you have this grasp that i can't escape
I love you so much, yet it feels like hate
I tried so hard to be the one you needed
I gave all I had and still never succeeded
You keep saying you love me
But at what point will you mean it
I keep saying I love you
But now I dont think I mean it

Sorry but not sorry
For the things that I have done.
Sorry but not sorry
For all the pain under the sun.

　And all the longing to set ourselves apart
　From the will of the masses,
　Though we clearly stand as one.

　And the reticence to play our part
　In building on new bridges,
　Though we clearly need them now.

　　Short story long,
　　Long story short -
　　Sorry but not sorry
　　For writing off this song.

Sorry but not sorry
For all the excuses that I make.
Sorry but not sorry
For not owing back what we take.

　And all the mannerism along which we pretend
　To care so much about the future,
　Though we clearly act for our only sake.

　And the conflicting messages that we must send
　As we aim to **** the messenger,
　Though we clearly all covet his fame.

　　Short story long,
　　Long story short,
　　Sorry but not sorry,
　　For writing off this song.

Sorry but not sorry
For casting off one more blame.
Sorry but not sorry
For the ills that one must name.

　And all the finger-pointing with no concrete action
　As we forget the final hour,
　Though we clearly hear the call

　And all the conflicts that we set in motion
　As we bow to the god of power,
　Though it clearly draws our fall

　　Short story long,
　　Long story short,
　　Sorry but not sorry,
　　For writing off this song.

If you could but hold me I would love you.
I would adore every little thing that you do.
My skies would forever appear much brighter.
If only you will pretend that you love me too.
If you could but kiss me I would love you.
I would gift you all finery golden and new.
My lonely world could be much less empty.
Please say you can pretend you will love me too.