Watch out!
I told my bare feet upon the lawn
the dog does love his landmines
even wrote a song

Woof woof, bark bark
your foot upon my mark
we're not at the neighbors
or roaming the dog park

Woof woof, bark bark
grab all your thin plastic bags
picking up my precious treasures
as my tail bobs, and wags

Woof woof, bark bark
can't spy them from the roof
I hide them so damn well
the squirrels in no way, poop proof

Liquid, my least favorite
followed by a semi squishy log
left there on my grass
as presents, from my dog

I think ear wax, is the only thing that's defies poet-tri-fication.
Butt, hum a few bars ;D
.
#humor   #dog   #poop   #woof  

Ya really got to wonder
how the process really works
Turning food into something
closely akin to mud, or dirt

Eat that steak or yogurt
and magically it seems
It's turned to something brown
as out your ass, it streams

The mysteries of waste
a defecated product made
simple fertilizer proof
of something, now decayed

It's a total wonder
as joy upon release
a crap that feels so good
as defecations, cease

God in his infinite wisdom
created life and everything
laughing uncontrollably
as bowels, are emptying

:D Oh yeah, The crapolla is in the house!
I would have marked this "adult", butt, let's face it, it's not ;D~
.
#humor   #crap   #poop   #refuse   #turd   #feces   #doo-doo   #merde   #traveler-dared   #ca-ca  
Temporal Fugue
Temporal Fugue
Nov 1, 2016

Politically incorrect
speaking of any defects
pundits and fools, object

Is there anyone of us, that isn't defined in some clique'?
I'm fat, ugly, and balding :D Although, that may not qualify as EEO material.
.
#poop   #pc  
JR Rhine
JR Rhine
Oct 25, 2016

Theses on species
and their feces,

people pissing and shitting,
Bukowski sneers and spits.

A cycle traversing through time
unbroken and unchallenged,

meaningless,

thoughtful yet dubious
of their divinity,

if any at all.

#time   #people   #afterlife   #eternity   #divinity   #present   #culture   #cycle   #poop   #species  
Temporal Fugue
Temporal Fugue
Oct 24, 2016

Pumpkin pumpkin, I spent alot of time
Carving you a fancy face
Removing all the rind, and slime

Pumpkin pumpkin, sittin on my stoop
I'm hoping in the morning
You'll not be filled with poop

#humor   #poop   #pumpkin   #halloween  
kneedleknees
kneedleknees
Sep 9, 2016

Morning calls, business
Time. I tell you there is such
Joy in emptiness

I love daily rituals
#shit   #crap   #poop  
Tyler Stoner
Tyler Stoner
Aug 23, 2016

As I sat down in class
a fart I did pass
that came out blasting
right from my ass.

I raised my hand high
'cause I thought I might die
from embarrassment surely
as diarrhea drew nigh.

As I squirmed in my chair
I desperately glared
at my teacher who couldn't
see my hand in the air.

I didn't know if I'd make it
a sensation most frightening
as the shits came upon me
quicker than lightning.

#funny   #school   #poop  

I'm posting this silly little poem for my teenage son's friend:

By S. Horton

I am brown and I am stinky

I come out your bootay and not your winky

I am a poop

This is just for fun. S. Horton is just curious if he'll get any likes.  This is why we don't push poems, right Bill Hughes!? :)
#short   #silly   #poop  
BB Tyler
BB Tyler
Dec 4, 2015

early morning
enough to catch the sunrise color
on a snag of wool
in a leafless tree
in the wind

seed to the chickens
hay the goats and the sheep
their turds on the frozen ground
like coffee beans
in the early morning

#life   #coffee   #color   #morning   #sunrise   #poop   #farm  

T'was the night before Christmas
The gifts were all wrapped
When the smell, well...it hit me
Our new puppy had crapped

I knew I could smell it
It was not just a fart
The puppy had dropped one
I awoke with a start

I could hear a slight rustle
As he went to his bed
But, the smell made me nauseous
And it turned my eyes red

I could hear a slight jingle
From the dog tags he wore
It was then that I found it
In the hall, by the door

I had not put on slippers
I had not hit the light
I just hope I could see it
Try as I might

But, as puppy bombs go
this was one for the ages
It had started out loose
And had grown in three stages

My foot found it first
And before I could halt
It was between my toes
And it wasn't his fault

If I'd turned on the light
I'd have seen it, no sweat
But, now, I was hopping
With a foot, brown and wet

I was off to the bathroom
Hopping mad, so to speak
when from out of my bedroom
I heard "What's that reek?"

It was worse than it started
Now, I'd helped it along
It was me, now in trouble
And somehow, that was wrong

Down in the kitchen
I could hear the dog snore
While, I was still hopping
On one foot by the door

My wife, said "go shower"
And clean up the rug
I hopped to the bathroom
And sat down, with a shrug

It was the night before Christmas
I should be out like a log
But, this is my life
Because I own a dog....

#poem   #funny   #family   #christmas   #dog   #smell   #poop   #shower   #puppy  
 
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