i’ve gotta rewire some things inside me
not in the right headspace to take life on right now
without a little extra help from those around and before and inside me

i’ve gotta release some demons, exorcise me
keeping them bottled up for so long, they’ve
got other people’s hands all over me, shaking things up
a prisoner to my own hidden feelings , i’m ready to burst

want to get it out, once and for all
not be trapped inside any longer

a bunch of secrets bouncing around my bones
like stubborn trespasser(s)

i
mold
meld
melt
molt

i find myself lost in us again
wrapping your& words around me like a hug
falling in love with this cosmic entanglement
watched us bloom in times of turmoil
and
i'm just so happy to be home, finally

head filled with thoughts of knives and blood and tears and the finality of the silence that comes After.

short car rides feel that much longer one-handed and with your mind taking detours.

an empty passenger's seat, save for the bag of fresh pharmacy goods; bandages and pills and the sting of the chill winter air.

the suffocating feeling of being stuck inside all day, except this home is a body and relief is only found in quick, deep successions.

basement flooding with memories of Then and When and Red and we find ourselves to be lost in it all. drowning even.

wade through the murk and discover us in the darkest alcoves of yourself. we hide in the shadows where it's safest, drenched.

it's hard to stay present around these parts for very long without something (or someone) stirring inside begging us to forget the rest.

The unknown in me
written July 22nd, 2021

I collect words
and try to fit them
to my experiences

trying to capture
this moment right now—
it is all I have.

I—looks at the page
and writes a moment
while others peer over her shoulder

shaking their heads
curling up to sleep from the overwhelm
reaching out to change a word or phrase

we are all here
sometimes all at once
other times one at a time

I always think I know
who writes these words
this   word   right   now

Until I look back
and don't recognize
words just written

I guess we are used to it
the wonder and startlement of
the unknown in me.

God came in three -
they set aside time and space 
for collaborative creativity

God came in three
and in that 'us', 'our' and 'we'
metaphored an identity of mutuality 

God came in three
advocating once and for all
a celebration of plurality

God came in three
illustrating that all families
are a godly thingamy

God came in three
inviting you and you and me
to join them
together for eternity


Genesis 1: 26. 
Then God said, "Let us make humankind in our image, in our likeness, ...

Happiness was always plural in my mind,
there had to be a he, a she or they,
but as time passed,
I grew to learn that
happiness is a singular ' I '.

Life: Noun: Uncountable: Plural: Lives
The ability to have: Abilities
Period of time filled with: Adjectives
With many opportunities to seize

Life as punishment: Contract/prison/love
Life as enjoyment: Contact/comfort/love
Love: Meaning: Affection. Also used above
Love: For idiom see also: Turtledove

Life: Antonym: Death: What comes after life
The leading cause of death on Earth: Neglect
Example: None cared the child had a knife
The leading cause of life on Earth: V-necks

Cheat: Suicide: Lessons on life not learned
Antidote: No cure has yet been confirmed