you held her like champagne glass
interpolated her with fake intentions
just as how you strategically poured in
your favorite drink not as close to the brink
you knew that every element of her
is delicate, fragile and vulnerable
same as the glass’ gleaming curves,
your face reflected on its surface
just as how you were mirrored
indulging in her caress
from your nape down to your
broad in denial shoulders,
and then you took a sip
took another, enjoyed every moment of it
like how your tongue played with her lips
silenced her mouth while her ears paid attention
to the sound of your breath;
it always tasted sweet,
day by day you craved for it
but suddenly everything turned sour
her heart that was glass
you just dropped without warning
fragments of her were scattered on the cold floor
like trash laying down, abandoned, abhorred
you asked yourself
should you clean up the mess you’ve made?
one step forward, three steps back
you’re indecisive
back and forth like the swaying pendulum
but you just barged out and never took a glance back
left her in broken pieces
wished you could pick them up even if it means
you’ll cut yourself from the shards and make you bleed
because once in a while she used to let herself wound
what's almost been healed,
let those thorns from your numb heart
pricked her again and again
and bled for you, nevertheless, until the end.

In my heart
I know that I shouldn't love you.











I guess I don't know enough.

She took the beatings, the
Blood smearing her skin
Took the lashings, and the slaps,
And hid her grin
The first time a man gripped her thighs,
Ripped them apart, and forced his way
Past her heart, numbing her to love,
Then threw her away
Numbed down deep to her soul,
She almost broke, almost cried,
Almost tied the knot tight, and
Almost,
almost,
almost died
She gave birth to generations
Told them her stories and
Unto them she bequeathed
All her spirit and her worries
She reached past the pain,
Pushed past the slaked lust
Turned herself inside out
Despite the bruises and distrust
She built her walls high,
Enough to endure the storms life
Somehow thought she could survive
And relished a calm from the strife
A destiny couldn’t be resisted
Nevertheless, she persisted

I thought I lost you the other day
I dreamt I was standing by your grave
But you were only a few blocks away
But I lost you nevertheless

I thought I saw you the other day
But it was a stranger wearing your coat
The one I gave you on your birthday in May
But I lost you nevertheless

I thought I called you the other day
But I couldn't go through with it
Even if I missed you I know you´d say
I lost you nevertheless

I thought I got over you the other day
Got this feeling of relief in my chest
But even with the heartache at bay
I lost you nevertheless

I thought I lost you the other day
and you were saying it was for the best
But you were only a few blocks away
But I lost you nevertheless

I am living in a personal hell.
I burn brightest when nights are darkest.
I suffer in silence, because
It is too hard for me to show my emotions.
I don't want anyone to worry about me,
Because my bleeding emotions is always mine.
Now my heart is fragile.
I whisper,
How long must i suffer in silence?
I think it is too much.
I am always at war, with
My own thoughts and hopes.
I have come to the end.
Now i can feel the death's hands envelope my neck.
Slowly, i am loosing my breath.
I will miss my depression.
I will miss crying in the shower.
I will miss the voices.
I will miss my sufferings in silence.
I am slowly progressing but advancing nevertheless.
Ah!
It is over.
I am fine,
it is the easier term for you to hear,
And to think everything is fine.

Without my mind's
electrical circuitry,

there's no time
besides eternity.