Setting: My Hometown, The School Ground, The 3rd Space, The Front Seat Of The Car, The Church, 2014-17 and beyond
Main Cast: The Musician, The Punk, The Tie-Wearer
Other Important Roles: The Prince, The Parental Units, The Body Guard, The Boy With The Glasses, The 5 Personalities, The Logical Thinker, The Multiple Third Parties, etc. There are too many to count.
Edit: Do not cast the 5 personalities... I mean, you can, just be careful. They might quit their jobs halfway through the film.
Deciding to make this movie is a challenge that nobody is prepared to execute, so don't be surprised if you cannot handle the emotional scarring and strain on every single character in the film. This is not your average story.
And these are not your average characters.
So we start our story off in 2014.
2 of our main characters meet...
And our story begins...
Ever have a browser open
With many different tabs?
Its a slippery slope
From one tab needed,
To about 20 for no reason
Some only open for a second
Taking up more bandwidth than the
It's like when it slows down, your computer
Is committing the high act of treason
Bleeding onto the overstimulated neurons
That occupy your mind with things so frivolous
And then you see..
The holes in your thoughts and logic creeping and creaking, closer to falling apart
Like listening to someone with a perpetually broken heart
Speak about love purer than the whitest dove
And how they'll never fall apart...
That's what my brain is like
Ive long since given up the fight...
You chase me with a word
like a bratty brother
chases a fearful sister
with a cricket
holding the legs of intimidation
near my ear
as you have done
many times before -
sometimes with a cricket of inferiority
or a cricket of slavery
and always a cricket of judgement
you portend to have the power
to put it on me
until the tear in my eye
My teeth gnash
wrapping around the finger that dangled
the last cricket of taunting,
a pest of manipulation,
held with your insect-filled arrogance
and I chew defiantly
masticating your ability
to ever chase me again.
swallow or spit
it's irrelevant -
your threats are dead.
I have dreams that he dies a lot
Either by getting shot by someone or hit by a car
in those dreams I am always looking forward to a new future
a clean slate
I think it's obvious my dreams are a sign that he is actually the one killing me
I would never wish death upon someone
but is it fair that he has killed me multiple times?
Look, I never said I was that smart.
I say stupid stuff all the time.
It's not like I'm always awake.
I'm rewriting my life story.
But we all wish some parts of our lives were different.
I'm rewriting my DNA make my skin less red, my spine less curved, my mind less distracted, to make my body hurt less.
I'm rewriting my backstory, one where I didn't worry about much other than my life at home. I never told anybody how dangerous my life used to be...
My whole life, I’ve battled depression looking for the best end after the loss of a best friend. Everybody would recommend a session, telling me to count my blessings this is only a section, of my life.
At 14 I lost my first encounter, with a bottle on the counter I took a bunch of downers and laid down in the tub because I wasn’t “cool” enough and my life was so rough, I was only a kid.
At 15 I had my first beer, the first time I was able to drown out my fear that end was near and I thought I was thinking clear but I was just like a deer, in the headlights.
At 16, I found my way to the end of a roach, the first time I smoked, the first time I realized I could easily cope with the dope and finally have hope that I was shortening the rope, around my neck.
The next few years all ran together, forgetting all the storms I weathered, the people who didn’t get better thinking I was happy I met her, a bird with beautiful feathers her life meaning more than mine.
Everything during this time ruined by me wanting to die, only outnumbered by the number of highs, telling my friends nothing but lies, like I’m fine. Always knowing its almost my time.
I often tried to reason, why I’m fighting these demons my mind committing this treason ending the evenings barely breathing, emotions changing like seasons having to suppress my feelings.
I’ve spent many days feeling nervous, looking for my purpose, through help and service but at the end of the day, 12 years later still feeling worthless.
I’ve been led to wonder what I’m missing. 26 years of no one listening, after a week of the same just saying I’m bitching so I’d run to the kitchen thinking I’m fixing my problems but that only made them worse.
So I would get my thrills with any girl who’d let me cop a feel knowing nothings reals trying to reach a deal so I could finally feel but we were always “better as friends.”
Then there were the girls not ready to date, unless it was a boy they’d hate, or the ones only looking to mate as way to escape their last mistake, who was usually me.
The meaningless flings would always fly with me because I knew I’d never be the one to set her free and they’d always be ashamed for someone to see them with me, but that’s fine.
I know no one wants something broken, a heart that won’t open, a brain constantly downward sloping, someone always coping because they’re just tired of hoping for what they stopped believing.
Next thing I knew I started cutting myself to fulfill the need that I perceived could free my mind by planting the seed that I was a superior breed and couldn’t die.
Really, I would drink then wash my blood down the sink because I wouldn’t have the time to think about my missing link that led me to the brink, of life.
No matter how you cope, in a bar, working on cars, making scars, wishing on a shooting star you’ll never get far, enough away.
So what do you do when you think you’re at the end, without a friend, a stranger in your skin, tired of always trying to begin again, I grab a pen. The paper ask me where I’ve been because I forget every now and then that I can win and that’s when the whole cycle starts again. Ready to welcome you, my old friend.
You say you care but you don't
You say you listen but you are not
You all go to her and tell me that I must feel bad for her
Because mine is not like hers
I can function and do things she can't
But the truth is push myself because I know I won't be heard
My anxiety came back and all I am is ignored
When she and he passed away I was ignored
I got no help to cope with their deaths
You always assume I can handle it
WELL OPEN YOUR EYES!!! I CAN'T
You make me do everything she can't and it is breaking me inside
Ignored because I silently get destroyed inside instead of it being loud
I hide it all because no matter what you are too blind to see
That your other daughter needs help too
I can't keep living like this. One day I'll break
And there will be no chance in getting me back.
It's not for lack of effort that i remain jobless and listless although that can change like the weather
I've spent days in my native American sweaters walking up and down the streets seeking employment, but like flavorless spearmint gum i chewed up and spit out laughed right off the stage at the Apollo before being thrown out
No doubt, there's some light on the other side of the sun and i should remain positive like a neutron but I've been through this for too long, snide hints and comments about the obvious i know I'm jobless i dont want to become heartless in the process
A bog this foggy is tough to go through but there's always a way out that i hope to show you
He wasn't that tall, he wasn't that smart, he wasn't that light He never let his spirits fall, he always loved the writing art, he knew he knew his future was bright, He wasnt yet 20 living in the 21 centaury when the children talked back to the grown ups and having babies was as common as having hiccups, He lived a happy life or so it seemed, he wanted to die at night that's all he dreamed, his life was a nightmare his nightly prayer was asking God why life wasn't fair, one year after the other he lost another, "another person I love taken above why do you take all I have" he cried out, open heart bleeding out, "get me clear !! be a man don't drop a tear don't let the world see your fear" he was told, "be bold as you get old the world gets cold" no one ever said so my heart only bled I mean but.. his heart only bled, one by one they kept to fall "who will I call please don't take them all do you have a plan at all" to the sky he would constantly cry, he cried until he lost faith he lost hope, "they can't love you they just want to use you" said his own mother "its school and nothing other" said his father, "am I a child of another?" his mind would wounder.. He fell to the darkness, he was killed by the light and healed by the darkness and it took him back to the light, "do I have bad behavior? It is the reason Im not treated fair does anyone care" he would think, the words told him "young king we'll always be there", he gave a second chance to the second chance giver once again he was a believer but with a change, he grew with age, he grew with rage and learnt how to cry with ink on a page, his head was heavy but not with thought but a crown now the school clown was evil with a knife and frown, a dark king a dark knight for the darkness he now controlled, sited on a dark throne he grew wings and started collecting gold rings, no he's not evil he's just open minded, now they all bow to me !! I mean now they all bow to thee, he understood the world was cold so to help warm it he planned to burn it all, He grew strong but the cost was the love he knew created the rage he brew it wasn't anything new but it more than anyone knew He's all grown and in the words its shown he sees words around him because the words, the darkness saved him and made him the King he is...