You say you care but you don't
You say you listen but you are not
You all go to her and tell me that I must feel bad for her
Because mine is not like hers
I can function and do things she can't
But the truth is push myself because I know I won't be heard
My anxiety came back and all I am is ignored
When she and he passed away I was ignored
I got no help to cope with their deaths
You always assume I can handle it
WELL OPEN YOUR EYES!!! I CAN'T
You make me do everything she can't and it is breaking me inside
Ignored because I silently get destroyed inside instead of it being loud
I hide it all because no matter what you are too blind to see
That your other daughter needs help too
I can't keep living like this. One day I'll break
And there will be no chance in getting me back.
It's not for lack of effort that i remain jobless and listless although that can change like the weather
I've spent days in my native American sweaters walking up and down the streets seeking employment, but like flavorless spearmint gum i chewed up and spit out laughed right off the stage at the Apollo before being thrown out
No doubt, there's some light on the other side of the sun and i should remain positive like a neutron but I've been through this for too long, snide hints and comments about the obvious i know I'm jobless i dont want to become heartless in the process
A bog this foggy is tough to go through but there's always a way out that i hope to show you
He wasn't that tall, he wasn't that smart, he wasn't that light He never let his spirits fall, he always loved the writing art, he knew he knew his future was bright, He wasnt yet 20 living in the 21 centaury when the children talked back to the grown ups and having babies was as common as having hiccups, He lived a happy life or so it seemed, he wanted to die at night that's all he dreamed, his life was a nightmare his nightly prayer was asking God why life wasn't fair, one year after the other he lost another, "another person I love taken above why do you take all I have" he cried out, open heart bleeding out, "get me clear !! be a man don't drop a tear don't let the world see your fear" he was told, "be bold as you get old the world gets cold" no one ever said so my heart only bled I mean but.. his heart only bled, one by one they kept to fall "who will I call please don't take them all do you have a plan at all" to the sky he would constantly cry, he cried until he lost faith he lost hope, "they can't love you they just want to use you" said his own mother "its school and nothing other" said his father, "am I a child of another?" his mind would wounder.. He fell to the darkness, he was killed by the light and healed by the darkness and it took him back to the light, "do I have bad behavior? It is the reason Im not treated fair does anyone care" he would think, the words told him "young king we'll always be there", he gave a second chance to the second chance giver once again he was a believer but with a change, he grew with age, he grew with rage and learnt how to cry with ink on a page, his head was heavy but not with thought but a crown now the school clown was evil with a knife and frown, a dark king a dark knight for the darkness he now controlled, sited on a dark throne he grew wings and started collecting gold rings, no he's not evil he's just open minded, now they all bow to me !! I mean now they all bow to thee, he understood the world was cold so to help warm it he planned to burn it all, He grew strong but the cost was the love he knew created the rage he brew it wasn't anything new but it more than anyone knew He's all grown and in the words its shown he sees words around him because the words, the darkness saved him and made him the King he is...
"In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God"
I have so many questions for you.
I have so much to ask
I have so much to learn?
But you're not here to teach me
In the darkness I found myself
I grew up in darkness
I got saved by darkness
I'm still with the darkness
But you were with the darkness too
The darkness she shows her beauty and how she only wants to help
By darkness I don't mean ignorance
I don't mean being blind
The darkness is a safe place
By darkness i do not mean evil or bad
By the darkness i just mean a safe place
A place no one knows but a place i know way too well
In the beginning there was nothing and the nothing was with God and that nothing was Darkness
"And he said let there be light, and there was light"
"Creating the heavens and earth"
You gave up the darkness to make us
Do I have to give it up to?
I'm still a baby and she protects me
She helps me deal with the world you abandoned her to create
They tell me to let go of the darkness but no one understands, I don't expect them to, the pain I felt before, I've felt your pain a million times more, I've felt your troubles one to many times, in the darkness I pour out my heart and she helps me heal as i give her the happiness she never had.
Eggs and bacon frying in a pan
Apples juice packed in lunch boxes
Reading out loud at the breakfast table
Lacing up shoes and straightening collars
Yelling children at the bus stop
Munching a granola bar while driving
Orange sunrise glaring at me
Running late to the office
Never enough time
I just broke a nail
Not gonna make this red light!!!
Good morning, yes siree
There is not much to say about me, I'm very simple and easy going, more than a personality thing is a choice of life. I think the key to life's happiness is simplicity. I'm a rebel and love is the only force that bends me, time after time. I do not tolerate injustices, superficialities, bureaucracies, social inequalities, or organized religion, but I do believe in God. I write, mostly poetry, I attempt to give meaning to life through words.
Some of the things that I like, in no particular order. . . Watch the sunrise, the rain through a window, the glow of the skin when touched by the sun, philosophize with crazies like myself, laugh attacks, have an ice cream as I take a walk, silence (mostly when I have someone to think about), a complicity smile, the mischievous eyes of children =), fall asleep while reading a book, learning how to live with my mistakes, winning a poker game with a really sucky hand, the happiness to see again someone I love, nights where you sing until the sunrises, the tears that fall after laughing super hard, to deepen my toes in the sand, to swim at the beach, dry up in the sun, bohemian nights and red wine, ring neighbor door bells and run for life, the smell of bread in the oven, the land where I was born, the cold weather, much better if I can hug someone I love, playing my guitar, touch my books and remember their content, a good boxing match, to close my eyes and let my fingers run down my piano keys, to sing while I drive, to cook for those I love, passionate people, poets, fighters, and every day the list of things I love grows. . . =)
It's looking as though my head is a prankster
Because I'll think one thing, and unintentionally say another
Sort of like faking being asleep by hiding underneath covers
It's not clever or original and it's driving me crazy
I'll not feel pain but the over analysis from my brain makes the space behind my eyes hazy
Lately I've been having this same damn dream
I keep waking up in a straitjacket and I'm close to bursting at the seams
But then I hear a voice, and I'm not sure who it is
It calms me back down, and the madness subsides and I begin to return to my wits
But then the voice leaves and I'm running down the hall, door to door and corner to corner.
It's fucked up when your mind is playing tricks on you